


Avatar Group Chat

by Kokorokirei



Series: June Pride Oneshots 20Gayteen [3]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Group chat, How i think a group chat between these characters might go, I really bash on Mako soo...lots of Mako bashing, June Pride Oneshots, Korra is a useless lesbian, Language, M/M, Mako is roasted, Not really following the canon timeline after beating Kuvira soooooo, Okay it gets really nsfw so i changed it to m rating, Poor Mako, Profanity, Shitpost fuckery, Silly, Some Chapters are NSFW, but i do it with love, cursing, dont think about tooooo much, feel free to suggest me more fuckery in the comments, implied past asami/mako, implied past mako/korra, it can get close to an m rating but the fuckery pulls it back, kuvira is actually more stable than everyone else, past bolin/opal - Freeform, so maybe a bit of nsfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:36:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 66,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kokorokirei/pseuds/Kokorokirei
Summary: They may appear cool on the show but they are just useless young adults on here.





	1. The start...

**Korra created the group chat.**

 

**Korra added Asami, Mako, Bolin, Opal, Kuvira to the group chat.**

 

**Korra:** Hello!

 

**Mako:** What is this?

 

**Bolin:** Oh my spirits! I love group chats!

 

**Opal:** I’ve always wanted to have a group chat with you guys!

 

**Asami:** Okay, let me just say that group chats will always end badly.

 

**Mako:** I’ve seen your phone, Asami. You’re in like ten of them.

 

**Asami:** And I stand by my statement: group chats will always end badly

 

**Bolin:** Why did you make this group chat, Korra?

 

**Korra renamed group chat as “Avatar Team”**

 

**Korra:** Why not? :)

 

**Bolin:** Come on Korra, think of a better name than that!

 

**Bolin renamed group chat as “Pabu Is The Best”**

 

**Opal:** um no…

 

**Opal renamed group chat as “Juicy Is The Best”**

 

**Mako:** Okay no…

 

**Korra:** See, we are getting along fine. :))

 

XXX

 

**In another message:**

 

**Korra:** I have no idea what I am doing, Mako

 

**Mako:** I have no idea what you are doing!

 

**Korra:** You said talking to other people might help me figure out if Asami has feelings for me!

 

**Mako:** Group chats!? Did you not read Asami’s text? They never go well!

 

**Korra:** Why can’t you just ask her?

 

**Mako:** I’m her ex!

**Mako:** I can’t be like ‘hey do you have feelings for Korra?’

**Mako:** I’ll look like a crazy ex

**Mako:** You’re my ex too! And I am starting to think you are crazy for asking me

 

**Korra:** But we best buddies too!

 

**Mako:** Yeah….

 

**Korra:** so what do I do if you won’t ask

 

**Mako:** I don’t know…

**Mako:** just ask her yourself.

 

**Korra:** No I’m too scared.

 

**Mako:** You’re the fucking avatar, korra

**Mako:** you know what? Fine. I’ll do something.

 

XXX

 

**In group chat:**

 

**Mako renamed group chat as “Korra has a secret”**

 

**Korra:** WTF MAKO

 

**Mako:** You’re welcome! I helped!

 

**Asami:** What’s this about?

 

**Opal:** oooooo Korra what is your secret

 

**Bolin:** Are we going to ignore the fact that Kuvira is in this chat? Isn’t she in prison

 

**Korra:** Mako you are not helping!

 

**Mako:** I tried to help, alright?

 

**Asami:** what are you two fighting about?

 

**Korra renamed group chat as “Mako eats his boogers”**

 

**Mako:** I do not!

 

**Bolin:** bro I’ve seen you do it all the time…

 

**Mako:** Bolin….

 

**Opal:** eeeeewwww

 

**Mako renamed group chat as “Korra Has a crush on a girl”**

 

**Mako:** Fuck you, Korra. Take that.

 

**Asami:** Wow Mako. Don’t just out Korra like that. That is so mean.

 

**Opal:** Yeah! That was a dick move Mako.

 

**Mako:** I’m trying to help Korra!!!!!

 

**Korra:** You’re not helping!!!

 

**Bolin:** ARE WE REALLY IGNORING THE FACT THAT KUVIRA IS IN THIS GROUP CHAT!?

 

XXX

 

**In another message:**

 

**Asami:** So like….who do you think Korra has a crush on?

 

**Opal:** Totally you!

 

**Asami:** no way. It can’t be. There’s like three girls in the group chat

 

**Opal:** Well, it can’t be me. I just broke up with Bolin.

 

**Asami:** That doesn’t mean that she can’t have a crush on you. Maybe it’s Kuvira?

 

**Opal:** It’s not. 

 

**Asami:** How do you know?

 

**Opal:** …

 

**Asami:** no…

**Asami:** no way

**Asami:** bitch...she took your family as hostages and ruined your older brother

 

**Opal:** aside from that, she is actually really sweet and kind

 

**Asami:** did you ask korra to add her in?

 

**Opal:** maybe

 

**Asami:** girl no way. Really? Kuvira?

 

**Opal:** i haven’t even told her, relax

 

**Asami:** you better not tell her for a long time. Preferably when she is out of prison

 

**Opal:** lol okay Asami. 

**Opal:** we just write letters to each other

 

**Asami:** oh? There’s letters involved?

 

**Opal:** Okay you and Korra sent each other letters for three years!

 

**Asami:** bc I like her!

 

**Opal:** so go tell her! The group chat is literally named ‘Korra has a secret’

 

**Asami:** we better check the group chat. My phone is blowing up

**Asami:** We are not finished with you and kuvira, missy

 

**Opal:** k mom

 

**Asami:** don’t take that tone with me

 

XXX

 

**In group chat:**

 

**Korra renamed group chat as “Mako is butthurt for having two exes”**

 

**Mako renamed group chat as “Korra is a little bitch that can’t do things on her own”**

 

**Korra renamed group chat as “Mako has a small dick”**

 

**Mako:** WE JUST KISSED! YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT

 

**Korra:** but it triggers you so hah!

 

**Bolin:** it is small…

 

**Mako:** Bolin….you are such a horrible little bro

 

**Bolin:** I’m your horrible little bro <3

 

**Mako renamed group chat as “Bolin is butthurt that Opal dumped him”**

 

**Bolin:** it was mutual actually.

 

**Mako:** was it?

 

**Bolin:** it was.

 

**Opal:** it was

 

**Asami:** it was

 

**Korra:** it was

 

**Mako:** are you kidding me?

 

**Opal:** I wanna start drama too

 

**Opal renamed group chat as “Asami has a crush on a girl in this group chat”**

 

**Asami:** I swear to spirits, Opal….

 

**Bolin:** Kuvira?

 

**Mako:** kuvira? Lol

 

**Opal:** no….

 

**Korra:** you, Opal?

 

**Opal:** are you really this dumb, korra??

**Opal:** who else????

 

**Korra:** Asami?

 

**Mako:** Asami x Asami...really korra?

 

**Bolin:** so we are still ignoring that kuvira is in this group chat????

 

**Korra:** so...me?

 

**Asami renamed group chat as “Opal x kuvira is a thing apparently”**

 

**Asami:** and yah, I like you korra. Like more than a friend. I have always liked you since we written those letters to each other. I was always scared to tell you but here we are. I really like you korra. Want to go on a date with me?

 

**Bolin:** wow. That was beautiful

 

**Mako:** Asami has more balls than any of us combined 

 

**Opal:** honestly, i don’t give a shit that Asami exposed my secret

 

**Korra:** omg i like you too, Asami. I’ve always really liked you more than a friend since i was poisoned. Wow. This is crazy.  Yeah, I would love to go on a date! Dinner this Sunday sound nice?

 

**Mako:** are you guys going to do this in front of us??

 

**Bolin:** Shut up butthurt nose picker

 

**Opal:** yeah shut up

 

**Asami:** do you like Italian food?

 

**Korra:** i love it! Do you know that swan boat docks?

 

**Asami:** on the waters!? Yes!

 

**Korra:** wanna go on that after dinner?

 

**Asami:** yesss! So it’s official date?

 

**Korra:** yes! Can’t wait!

 

**Asami:** me too, korra

 

**Bolin:** awwwwwwww

 

**Opal:** I’m so happy for you two!!!

 

**Kuvira:** wtf is this?

 

**Bolin:** KUVIRA!!!??? They let you text in prison?

 

**Kuvira:** for like an hour.

**Kuvira:** what the heck is going on here?

**Kuvira:** nice title, btw

 

**Opal:** so like….you don’t dislike?

 

**Kuvira:** nah, i was wondering when you might confess

 

**Opal:** so can I visit you tomorrow?

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll be waiting ~~

 

**Mako:** don’t you think it’s weird to be dating your ex fiancé’s little sister?

 

**Kuvira:** says the guy whose two exes got together

 

**Opal:** burnnnn

 

**Bolin:** I change my mind about Kuvira. She can stay in the group chat

 

**Mako:** she is about to date your ex, Bolin

 

**Bolin:** so?

 

**Mako:** isn’t that weird?

 

**Bolin:** you’re making it weird.

 

**Opal:** yeah you are

 

**Kuvira:** can we kick Mako out of the group chat?

 

**Bolin:** I vote yes

 

**Opal:** me too

 

**Mako:** realllyyy??? Realllyyyy guys?

 

**Asami:** don’t kick mako out

 

**Mako:** thank you asami

 

**Asami renamed group chat as “Mako has a tiny dick and I have actually seen it on accident”**

 

**Asami:** continue roasting him

 

**Mako:** ASAMIIIIII!!!!!!!

  
  
  



	2. Asami vs Opal

**Korra:** Kuvira!

**Korra:** Hey!

**Korra:** yo!

**Korra:** kuvira!!!

**Korra:** yo, come on!

**Korra:** this is important!

**Korra:** it’s an emergency 

**Korra:** it’s really bad!

**Korra:** kuvira come on!!

 

**Mako:** seriously kuvira, just look at your phone!

**Mako:** people are going to die

**Mako:** it’s that serious 

 

**Bolin:** kuvirrraaaaa

 

**Kuvira:** I am in prison.

**Kuvira:** I get my phone for only one hour.

**Kuvira:** What do you want!?

 

**Korra:** oh my bad, i forgot

 

**Kuvira:** Are you going to tell me or not? I got a phone date with Opal.

 

**Korra:** that’s the thing! Asami and Opal are fighting

 

**Kuvira:** ….So?

 

**Mako:** it’s really bad!

**Mako:** they might kill each other

 

**Kuvira:** What are they fighting about?

 

**Bolin:** We legit have no idea.

**Bolin:** I think it might be about you

 

**Kuvira:** I am in prison.

**Kuvira:** I only write letters to Opal.

**Kuvira:** What could I have possibly done?

 

**Korra:** idk that’s why I’m asking you!

 

**Kuvira:** Well, I don’t know either!

**Kuvira:** We are on the group chat.

**Kuvira:** Asami, Opal, what is going on?

 

**Mako:** They’re too busy with ‘gearing for the war’

 

**Kuvira:** What?

 

**Bolin:** so far, Tenzin is in the hospital 

 

**Kuvira:** What?!

 

**Korra:** Lin and Suyin are literally trapped in some air prison and they actually are having a hard time getting out

 

**Kuvira:** Why? How?

 

**Korra:** They got in the way…

**Korra:** Meelo and Ikki are on Asami’s side

**Korra:** Jinora and Kai, he had no choice, are on Opal’s side

**Korra:** I have to be on Asami’s side.

 

**Kuvira:** You guys just said you have no idea what they are fighting about?

 

**Korra:** Yeah, but, if you were asked. What side would u be on?

 

**Kuvira:** Opal, of course.

 

**Korra:** exactly 

**Korra:** that means mako has to be on Asami’s side and Bolin has to be on Opal’s side

 

**Mako:** Correct

 

**Bolin:** agreed 

 

**Kuvira:** But you guys have no idea what they are fighting about?

 

**Mako:** nope

 

**Bolin:** nada

 

**Korra:** no clue at all

 

**Kuvira:** Oh my spirits...

**Kuvira:** Just go talk to them in person.

**Kuvira:** Bolin, talk for Opal for me. 

 

**Bolin:** No

 

**Kuvira:** Why?

 

**Bolin:** I’m legit scared of Opal right now….

 

**Kuvira:** Korra?

 

**Korra:** have you ever seen Asami use her electric glove? That shit hurts so much

 

**Kuvira:** ...

**Kuvira:** Fine. Do this: Get Asami and Opal into separate rooms where they only have their phones. That way they are forced to talk in this group chat.

**Kuvira:** I would prefer if you guys all had a face to face conversation…

**Kuvira:** But….

 

**Korra:** Thanks Kuvira!

 

**Mako:** right on it!

 

**Bolin:** we knew you would know what to do! You’re so smart!

 

**Kuvira:** Thanks. I didn’t become the ‘Great Uniter’ by being dumb.

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** I’m not talking.

 

**Opal:** So am I.

 

**Kuvira:** Now come on you two, aren’t you guys good friends?

 

**Asami:** Don’t get involved with this, Kuvira! You’re the reason why we are fighting!

 

**Kuvira:** I’m in prison! What could I have possibly have done?

 

**Korra:** idk, send Asami a love letter? Hate letter?

 

**Kuvira:** Korra...you’re not helping.

 

**Mako:** Girls, why are you fighting?

 

**Asami:** Ask Opal.

 

**Opal:** Ask Asami.

 

**Bolin:** Okay. Asami why you mad?

**Bolin:** Opal, why you mad?

 

**Asami:** Ask Opal.

 

**Opal:** Ask Asami.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, stop. This isn’t working.

**Kuvira:** Let’s start with this. Why am I involved?

 

**Asami:** You’re dating Opal.

 

**Kuvira:** And?

 

**Asami:** I don’t approve.

 

**Opal:** You’re not my mom!

 

**Asami:** Opal, she took your family as hostages!

 

**Opal:** That’s the old Kuvira. The new Kuvira wouldn’t hurt an innocent fly.

 

**Mako:** Oh shit…

 

**Bolin:** Opal, wrong choice of words!!

 

**Korra:** Asami, she didn’t mean it!!

 

**Asami:** Oh? Kuvira wouldn’t hurt a fly?

**Asami:** Hmm...I remember something interesting….

 

**Korra:** Asami please calm down!

 

**Opal:** What, Ass Ami?

 

**Bolin:** OPAL!!!

 

**Asami:** KUVIRA SQUISHED MY DAD LIKE HE WAS A FLY

 

**Opal:** They were hummingbird meka suits!!

 

**Asami:** SAME CONCEPT. KUVIRA SLAPPED HER METAL HAND ON TOP OF MY DAD

**Asami:** I WATCH IT ALL

**Asami:** HE EJECTED ME BEFORE HE WENT SPLAT.

**Asami:** KUVIRA NOT HURTING A FLY MY ASS. BULLSHIT!

 

**Kuvira:** I’m very sorry about that, Asami. That’s why I’m in prison.

 

**Opal:** SHE IS IN PRISON, ASAMI. AS LONG AS SHE STAYS IN THERE, WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ISSUE?

 

**Mako:** girls pls stop

 

**Asami:** I AM THE SOLE SURVIVOR OF MY CLAN

 

**Opal:** And you are doing great sweetie! Calm your tits and let me date Kuvira.

 

**Korra:** Asami you can’t stop opal from dating kuvira

 

**Asami:** oh i know. I’m aware

**Asami:** but there is something else that opal insulted me with

 

**Opal:** I was mad and I didn’t mean it!

 

**Bolin:** What did...opal….say?

 

**Asami:** She accused me of using lip fillers and Botox! Me! The fucking nerve!

 

**Korra:** Oh Opal, you have no idea how nice Asami’s lips are.

 

**Opal:** I was mad and I used the ‘daddy’s little rich girl’ card on you

 

**Asami:** I AINT GOT NO DAD OPAL

 

**Opal:** I AM AWARE

**Opal:** kuvira messed up my brother

**Opal:** you don’t see me complaining about that

 

**Asami:** you got an entire family! A mom. A dad. Some older brothers.

**Asami:** how could you possible be eye to eye on my level??

 

**Bolin:** is anyone getting naruto vibes here?

 

**Mako:** holy shit, bolin. I thought it was just me.

 

**Korra:** bolin...really not the time

 

**Bolin:** no joke. Asami is like sasuke and opal is like naruto

 

**Asami:** you know what opal has that naruto doesn’t? She has a family. Naruto is an orphan.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay! Stop it! This is going to go too far!

**Kuvira:** Look, this seems like bad words were exchanged, along with personal family issues. 

 

**Asami:** I ain’t got no family, Kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** I’m aware of that, Asami, and I’m very sorry. I’m paying the price of my crimes right now.

**Kuvira:** Look. Opal and I are going to be a thing, you can’t stop that Asami. 

**Kuvira:** Opal, Asami suffered a great deal and I made it worse. It’s understable that she’s having a hard time dealing with our relationship.

**Kuvira:** You two are friends and you shouldn’t let the past, nor me, break you two apart. So come on, let bygones be bygones. Reconcile.

 

**Asami: …**

 

**Opal: …**

 

**Korra:** Come on you two.

 

**Asami:** I’m sorry that I doubt your relationship with Kuvira, but if you think she’s going to be a changed person, then I’ll deal with it.

 

**Opal:** I’m sorry for not understanding your position and why you would be against my relationship with Kuvira. I’m sorry for accusing that you use Botox and lip fillers. I’m just really jealous of your lips sometimes.

 

**Asami:** It’s really just a little tip of applying the lipstick. I can teach you.

 

**Opal:** I would love that, Asami.

 

**Asami:** Wanna come over now?

 

**Opal:** I’ll be there soon!

 

**Bolin:** AWWWWWW yaaaaay!!!

 

**Mako:** That’s our girls. I knew they’ll be fine.

 

**Korra:** sure you did mako.

 

**Bolin:** seriously, kuvira. How you end up in prison when you’re so smart?

 

**Kuvira:** I have serious trauma from when my parents abandoned me and I can’t spiritbend.

 

**Bolin:** damn….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this is going to be a thing and no one can stop me.
> 
> Did you guys ask for another one?
> 
> I assumed so, I got like one clear ‘please do more’ but I really think this fandom needs this....
> 
> Am I going to keep this up?
> 
> Yeah, please deal with this fuckery.
> 
> Want to have a nice, funny, shitpost to read in between toilet breaks and work?
> 
> Here you are.
> 
> May or may not changed this to M rating....depending what fuckery I do. 
> 
> You can contact me on my tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	3. Dattebayo

**Bolin:** hey guys!

 

**Mako:** it’s 3 am …

 

**Bolin:** I know but ever since I mentioned the naruto vibes with asami and opal, i can’t stop thinking about it

 

**Asami:** bolin, i have a meeting to go to in the morning.

**Asami:** can it wait until tomorrow??

 

**Korra:** ngl, i keep thinking Asami would be perfect for Sasuke

 

**Opal:** why did we not all silence our phones???

 

**Bolin:** well since everyone is up~

**Bolin:** I was thinking about it more. I actually think Kuvira would make a better naruto.

 

**Opal:** why??

 

**Bolin:** Kuvira was an orphan. naruto was an orphan

**Bolin:** Naruto wanted to become hokage. kuvira wanted to become the great uniter.

**Bolin:** only difference is that naruto actually became hokage and kuvira got her ass whipped

 

**Opal:** kuvira would look horrible in orange.

 

**Mako:** if asami is sasuke, then korra is sakura?

 

**Bolin:** yeah that can work. 

 

**Mako:** sakura is such a weak character tho

 

**Korra:** ok, but like she can shatter the earth with one fist

**Korra:** what can you do mako? wave electricity around and blow some fire with TWO hands? laaaame

 

**Mako:** nevermind then…

 

**Opal:** what am I then?

 

**Bolin:** you can be hinata since she gets with naruto. you get with kuvira

 

**Mako:** it works bc hinata has a family and opal has a family too. both are prestigious families with personal issues 

 

**Opal:** as much as i want to sleep, im enjoying this conversation

 

**Korra:** what are you two? mako, bolin?

 

**Bolin:** mako can be karin

 

**Mako:** …..

 

**Korra:** you can flirt with rogue asami all you want lol

 

**Mako:** ……

 

**Korra:** Asami can bite you to heal. kinky.

 

**Mako:** ……

 

**Korra:** but I get with Asami/Sasuke in the end

 

**Mako:** .............................

 

**Opal:** doesn’t sasuke stab a chidori sword through karin???

 

**Korra:** oh shit…..

 

**Mako:** i hate you guys

 

**Bolin:** I FORGOT ABOUT THAT BUT THATS SO FUNNY

 

**Mako:** why cant i be suigetsu or jugo???

 

**Bolin:** I wanna be suigetsu or jugo

**Bolin:** if i had to pick someone to finish the taka group, it would be wu

 

**Mako:** WU??? WHY HIM???

 

**Bolin:** bc it pisses you off

**Bolin:** oooh. wu can be suigetsu and ill be jugo!!! it works!!!

 

**Mako:** No!!!

 

**Korra:** best late night convos ever

 

**Opal:** i love you guys

 

**Asami:** GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I CHIDORI ALL OF YOUR ASSES

 

**Bolin:** see? Asami is Sasuke. Fight me.

 

XXX

 

**Kuvira:** I just want to say that I would look great in orange, thank you very much.

 

**Asami:** shut up

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** who sent this on my doorstep?

**Asami:** *texts photo*

 

**Bolin:** me!

 

**Asami:** WHY?

 

**Mako:** omg you actually got her a sasuke outfit????

 

**Bolin:** I have your karin outfit at home, mako

 

**Mako:** ….well oh shit, I’m working overtime tonight

 

**Bolin:** I’m right next to you and we work together….

 

**Asami:** why does he just wear pants, a blanket around his waist, and an open shirt?

 

**Bolin:** he got that ninja swag

 

**Korra:** *texts photo*

**Korra:** pink looks good on me

 

**Asami:** …..

**Asami:** I don’t ever want to see those on you

 

**Mako:** okay asami, we know you want to see Korra naked.

 

**Asami:** Not what I meant.

 

**Opal:** *texts photo*

**Opal:** I LOVE IT

 

**Korra:** you should try yours, Asami

 

**Asami:** no

 

**Bolin:** I sent one to Kuvira.

 

**Mako:** bolin, did you get her the shippuden or the pre shippuden 

 

**Bolin:** all of them are the shippuden outfits.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m sure I’ll enjoy it. Thank you Bolin.

 

**Bolin:** See, Asami? If Kuvira will try it, then you should at least try it!

 

**Asami:** i thought you get your phone for 1 hour, kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** I can metalbend it back to me in secret when I’m really bored.

**Kuvira:** Don’t tell anyone at the prison that I do that.

 

**Mako:** Wear the naruto outfit and we will keep our lips sealed.

 

**Kuvira:** Deal.

**Kuvira:** *texts photo*

**Kuvira:** actually, opal...you’re right. i don’t look good in orange

 

**Bolin:** That’s your cell???

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah.

 

**Mako:** It looks like a 5 star hotel room

 

**Asami:** ….well that seems unfair

 

**Kuvira:** If it helps, Asami, I am forced to have therapy sessions with Varrick.

 

**Korra:** Varrick is allowed to become a therapist??

 

**Asami:** that makes me feel better

 

**Opal:** Asami, you should try your outfit. I think it’ll look really good on you.

 

**Asami:** no

 

**Mako:** ill try mine if you try yours

 

**Asami:** no

 

**Korra:** I’ll make her try it tonight

 

**Asami:** you are not ruining our dinner date by making me wear that outfit….

 

**Bolin:** oh yeah, you prefer no clothes instead

 

**Asami:** ….

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** I caught her

**Korra:** she thinks I’m taking a shower but nah, I caught her

 

**Opal:** omg she is really getting into it

 

**Bolin:** YAY SHE DOES LOVE IT

 

**Mako:** wow, she’s in character 

 

**Bolin:** *texts photo*

**Bolin:** since Mako is too chicken to post, here it is

 

**Opal:** oh, it does oddly fit him

 

**Mako:** i did it, happy bolin?

 

**Bolin:** yeaaaahhhh

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** she’s pretending she has the sharingan

 

**Mako:** she even did her hair!

 

**Bolin:** Stop I’m dying hahahahahah 

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** omg guys

 

**Opal:** SHE TOOK HER GLOVE OUT

**Opal:** I DID NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THIS

 

**Bolin:** she did not just turn it on!!!

 

**Korra:** she’s doing that chidori pose

**Korra:** oh

**Korra:** she just chidori the wall

 

**Mako:** stop stop I’m crying

 

**Bolin:** this is the best thing that has ever happened to us

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** she’s pretending naga is her animal that she summoned 

 

**Opal:** ow ow ow my stomach hurts

**Opal:** this is gold

 

**Korra:** uh oh, she caught me

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** you think Korra is alright?

 

**Mako:** it has been a while…

 

**Opal:** i bet they are frick fracking

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN OR I WILL USE MY SATO POWERS TO END YOU

 

**Bolin:** AHAHAHAHAHAHHA OMG OMG OMG AHAHAHAHHA

 

**Mako:** kinda a late response, huh?

 

**Opal:** ahhh that was worth staying up for a response

 

**Asami:** I hate all of you

 

**Bolin:** No you don’t.

 

**Opal:** at least you didn’t wear an orange jumpsuit

 

**Mako:** opal...didn’t you wear an orange jumpsuit when you started your airbending practice

 

**Opal:** did you not realize that I prefer the red outfit?

 

**Mako:** point taken

 

**Korra:** i thought those outfits were more yellowish

 

**Opal:** i still prefer my red outfit

 

**Asami:** seriously, you guys are never going to mention those videos

 

**Bolin:** fair enough but one question

 

**Asami:** what?

 

**Bolin:** How was restoring your clan with Korra?

 

**Asami left group chat “Mako has a tiny dick and I have actually seen it on accident”**

 

**Mako:** I forgot that we still haven’t changed that…..

 

**Korra:** Bolin, be careful. She just said she will make you and your loved ones suffer

 

**Bolin:** hey sasuke said that! She really is Sasuke

 

**Kuvira:** Believe it, Dattebayo.

 

**Opal:** I’m so glad she is in this group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one asked for this...no one. I don’t know whether you guys should thank me or curse me.
> 
> I draw on the side and I’ve been drawing Asami in Sasuke’s clothes. She really fits it well. If you’re an artist, try it, and then realize that it’s so much fun to draw. Then I wrote this. I’m sorry, or, you’re welcome.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	4. Daddy Issues

**Korra added Asami to group chat “Mako has a tiny dick and I have actually seen it on accident”**

 

**Asami renamed group chat as “Do not call me the S-name”**

 

**Bolin:** Welcome baaack.

 

**Opal:** We missed you all day

 

**Mako:** thanks for changing the group name

 

**Asami:** i already feel like I’m going to regret coming back

 

**Korra:** What’s the S-name?

**Korra:** Sato?

 

**Asami:** Really Korra?

 

**Bolin:** yeah korra, really?

 

**Korra:** Sami?

 

**Asami:** No…

 

**Korra:** Salami?

 

**Asami:** no….

 

**Opal:** Korra I’ll give you a hint. She dressed up as the character when you two frick fracked

 

**Korra:** oh sasuke!

 

**Mako:** how do you forget???? We just had the convo last night??

 

**Korra:** sorry my mind is busy right now. I’m looking for Naga.

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Asami:** how do you lose a massive polar bear dog like Naga?

 

**Bolin:** she could tear up the streets of Ba Sing Se just by walking

 

**Korra:** I don’t know. I was coming back from getting a snack from that pastry shop near the Avatar park and she wasn’t outside

 

**Asami:** I’m home now from work, want me to drive by to pick you up and we can go see where naga is?

 

**Korra:** thanks asami, that would be great

 

**Asami:** of course, Korra, anything for you

 

**Opal:** Gaaaaaaayyyy

 

**Asami:** you’re the one to talk

 

**Bolin:** gaaaayyy

 

**Mako:** gaaaaaaaay

 

**Asami:** are you guys going to help or not?

 

**Bolin:** yeah we going to search

 

**Mako:** just don’t wander off you two

 

**Opal:** or else….

 

**Asami:** god I regret this so much

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** hey guys

 

**Korra:** you find Naga!?

 

**Opal:** no but I had a thought.

 

**Asami:** not now…

 

**Bolin:** Mako and I have been walking for hours, tell us your thought Opal

 

**Opal:** thank you bolin

**Opal:** anyways, didn’t Avatar Korra Park get renamed during the three years that Korra was gone?

 

**Asami:** yes?

 

**Opal:** and Asami was in charged with the city’s infrastructure, thus integrating the spirit world and our world.

 

**Asami:** okay???

 

**Opal:** Korra, did you know if Asami had feelings for you when you came back? Or had any idea?

 

**Korra:** no, not really. I was kinda in a bad place.

**Korra:** why?

 

**Asami:** where are you going with this?

 

**Opal:** asami, you must have had the lead in changing the park’s name

 

**Asami:** so what if I did?

 

**Opal:** and korra, you really didn’t know if Asami had feelings for you?

 

**Korra:** ….i didn’t…..

 

**Opal:** So Asami renames a park after Korra, has a statue of Korra built in the park and you two still didn’t know if you liked each other??

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Korra:** oh that makes sense. I was wondering why there was a statue of me when i came back

 

**Asami:** ???!!!

 

**Korra:** oh…..

 

**Mako:** i knew korra could be oblivious but not this oblivious 

 

**Bolin:** Did you know mako??

 

**Mako:** no...it was kinda shocking…

 

**Opal:** oh spirits im so glad i got that off my chest. It was bothering me for a while

 

**Asami:** Can you guys keep searching for naga????? Yah know? Korra’s friend????

 

**Mako:** Asami you said that you took the car? If korra and you are texting, who’s driving??

 

**Korra:** oh shit…

 

**Bolin:** KORRA GET OFF YOUR PHONE

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** hey guys

 

**Asami:** this better not be another of our love conspiracies that we missed

 

**Opal:** no but i think i might have found Naga

 

**Korra:** where is she??

 

**Opal:** she’s barking at the spirit beam

 

**Korra:** that’s….not like her…..

 

**Opal:** i think she barking at someone but I’m not sure.

**Opal:** ill go take a look

 

**Asami:** wait opal!!

**Asami:** korra and I are on the other side of the city, wait for us and we will go together

**Asami:** Mako, bolin, where you guys at?

 

**Bolin:** we eatin noodles 

 

**Asami:** what…..?

 

**Mako:** we eatin dah noodles 

 

**Asami:** um...excuse me? We were searching for Naga???

 

**Mako:** we got hungry.

 

**Asami:** can you save your stomachs for later? Preferably after finding naga

 

**Bolin:** yeah yeah, sure

 

**Asami:** opal?

**Asami:** opal did you stay there?

**Asami:** korra is getting closer so where are you?

 

**Opshi*2s:** h e l l o

 

**Mako:** WTF IS THAT?

 

**Asami:** Opal?? Is that you????

 

**O9p%adsh!:** h e l l o?

 

**Korra:** opal, are you okay?

 

**Bolin:** Korra yah did stop driving right????

 

**Korra:** yah i did.

**Korra:** opal you okay??? Where are you?

 

**O0pal58*jsh renamed to Hiroshi.**

 

**Bolin:** ….

 

**Mako:** ….

 

**Korra:** ….

 

**Asami:** Dad?

 

**Hiroshi:** Asami!!

 

**Asami:** WHAT THE FUCK??? Dad????

 

**Hiroshi:** Asami, language….

 

**Asami:** Dad I’m like 22 years old

 

**Hiroshi:** You’re still my baby girl.

 

**Bolin:** what did you do to Opal???

 

**Hiroshi:** I just entered her phone and she passed out from shock.

 

**Mako:** you...entered her phone???

 

**Korra:** that’s a thing spirits can do?????

 

**Kuvira:** Wow, never would have seen this coming.

 

**Hiroshi:** Kuvira?

 

**Bolin:** oooooo no…..

 

**Asami:** Dad, I can explain.

 

**Hiroshi:** Why is Kuvira in this group chat?

 

**Kuvira:** I could say the same. Not to be disrespectful, Mr. Sato, but I believe you’re dead.

 

**Korra:** hey guys i found naga and opal

 

**Bolin:** no one cares, this is about to be the greatest fight of the century.kuvira’s victim rises from the dead

 

**Mako:** Bolin, I ordered some dumplings for us 

 

**Bolin:** nice bro.

 

**Hiroshi:** Touché, Kuvira.

 

**Korra:** dude, it’s crazy. I can see the phone moving on its own

 

**Asami:** dad, why are you here?

 

**Hiroshi:** I’m not really sure. I was kinda walking around in the clouds, talking to your mother, and then next thing I know, I got sucked into this phone.

 

**Asami:** Wait...you were talking to mom?

 

**Hiroshi:** I was. She misses you so much and she thinks you have grown beautifully.

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits, is she okay? Is she happy?

 

**Hiroshi:** She is more than okay, Asami. She has always been watching over you since you were a child.

 

**Bolin:** okay booooooring, can you and kuvira fight now?

 

**Kuvira:** Really Bolin? They’re having a touching father-daughter moment.

 

**Korra:** is anyone going to come by to check on opal with me???

 

**Bolin:** hey mr sato

 

**Hiroshi:** Yes, Bolin?

 

**Bolin:** Did you know that Asami and Korra are dating?

 

**Asami:** Bolin...I will fucking kill you

 

**Kuvira:** Wow…

 

**Mako:** oh shit bro! Nice!

 

**Hiroshi:** Is this true, Asami? You and Korra?

 

**Asami:** Didn’t mom tell you? Didn’t you say she was watching over me for a long time?

 

**Hiroshi:** No, she didn’t.

 

**Bolin:** Did you not see it????

 

**Asami:** Bolin shut up…

 

**Hiroshi:** Apparently there are rules among the dead where you have to be dead for a certain number of years or died a specific circumstance in order to be able to watch over the living. I guess I am not granted that ability yet. I guess it’s because I have no unfinished business on the living.

 

**Bolin:** That seems oddly specific….

 

**Hiroshi:** So Asami...you and the Avatar are a thing?

 

**Asami:** yeah dad….Korra and I have been dating for a while

 

**Korra:** Opal is like shivering. Can one of ya’ll come help me????

 

**Hiroshi:** Korra, are you treating my daughter right?

 

**Asami:** dad…

 

**Korra:** Mr. Sato, not to be rude, but my friend, the one you scared, seems to be hyperventilating. Can we save the questions for later?

 

**Hiroshi:** Korra, I asked you a question and a noble person would answer it immediately upon asked.

 

**Asami:** dad...please… i thought we got over your non bender ways

 

**Hiroshi:** Asami, Korra is the Avatar and while I may have gotten over my old ways, I still feel uneasy for you to be dating someone who could easily crush you with all of the elements.

 

**Mako:** So….now does Hiroshi have unfinished business??

 

**Asami:** Dad, no disrespect, but you’re dead and you can’t stop me from dating whoever I want.

 

**Hiroshi:** It was bad enough that you dated Mako and his tiny genitals.

 

**Mako:** You...never seen my dick……

 

**Asami:** I may or may not have...told him when we broke up….

 

**Hiroshi:** Mako, you were a very immature young man. Fooling around with two women is just shameful and disrespectful.

 

**Mako:** I’m sorry sir.

 

**Kuvira:** Mr. Sato, if it helps, Korra and Asami are dating each other. Don’t you think that this gets Mako back? Two of his exes dating each other?

 

**Hiroshi:** As much as I don’t really approve of the relationship, that is hilarious as fuck.

 

**Mako:** Oh my spirits…..

 

**Asami:** Dad…..

 

**Bolin:** THIS IS GOLD

 

**Korra:** Opal is foaming at the mouth, what do I do!????

 

**Kuvira:** What happen to Opal!?

 

**Korra:** I DON’T KNOW, WILL ONE OF YOU GUYS COME DOWN TO HELP ME?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m in prison!

 

**Korra:** I didn’t mean you!

 

**Hiroshi:** Korra, how in the world do you expect to support my daughter.

 

**Asami:** Dad...we’re like millionaires….

 

**Korra:** Mr. Sato...now isn’t the greatest of time to ask me questions. Opal keeps convulsing and I have no idea what is happening.

 

**Hiroshi:** I am Asami’s father and you should be more respectful to your future father-in-law. Now I want to know how you will support my daughter.

 

**Asami:** Okay, dad, I’m a millionaire. I support Korra.

 

**Hiroshi:** Nani!???

 

**Asami:** What the fuck was that?

 

**Hiroshi:** Asami! Language young lady!

 

**Asami:** I’m 22!!! You used fuck like five minutes ago!

 

**Hiroshi:** You are never too old to get a spanking to get discipline, young lady! Don’t use such vulgar language!

 

**Korra:** Well...that explains a lot. ;)

 

**Asami:** Korra….

 

**Hiroshi:** Excuse me?

 

**Korra:** That explains why Asami likes being spanked. ;) I knew she had daddy issues, she never admit it.

 

**Kuvira:** Can you get back on Opal!????

 

**Hiroshi:** You spanked my daughter?

 

**Korra:** Yep.

 

**Hiroshi:** Asami, is this true?

 

**Asami:** Korra, please go attend to Opal and be quiet….

 

**Korra:** Oh, Opal is passed out for sure

 

**Kuvira:** You’re just going to leave her there????

 

**Korra:** No I’m with her, I’m waiting for one of the idiot bros to come help me.

 

**Bolin:** You never called us out.

 

**Korra:** I’ve been asking for help for a while????!!!

 

**Mako:** never said our names.

 

**Hiroshi:** Korra, you spank my daughter?

 

**Korra:** Yes I do, Mr. Sato.

 

**Asami:** Korra...why???

 

**Korra:** I’m a little irritated right now. I’m tired. I’m a bit cold. I got an unconscious air bender here and a dad who seems to have a controlling complex over his daughter with a stick up his ass. No one is helping me out and ignoring me on this chat unless it’s about me screwing with a millionaire’s daughter.

 

**Asami:** KORRA!!!

 

**Hiroshi:** Just because you’re dating my daughter doesn’t mean you can spank her out of pure sexual enjoyment!

 

**Korra:** You know what she says when I spank each one of her supple ass cheeks??

 

**Asami:** KOORRAAAA!!!!

 

**Korra:** She calls me DADDY!

**Korra: *** texts video*

 

**Bolin:** IS THAT THE GREEN FROG DANCING VIDEO THAT WENT VIRAL???

 

**Korra:** See those pelvic thrusts that frog does, Mr. Sato? I do that to your daughter.

 

**Asami:** Fuck it. Alright dad, I’m a fucking bottom and Korra is my top. Happy?

 

**Mako:** I LOVE THIS GROUP CHAT

 

**Kuvira:** What is happening to Opal? Is she okay?

 

**Bolin:** Ow I think noodles came out my nose

**Bolin:** look

**Bolin:** *texts photo*

 

**Hiroshi:** **_ksjfh743$#94525rsjfhgskjfhjkshgf2292$^#WRFWFSF4etwge4TEGe5gEcejfkshfkasfkaie8i4e87t378tiyioyfsjfhi939urjfia~~djiwj9hhf_ **

 

**Bolin:** sorry, was my picture that bad?

 

**Hiroshi:** **_kjafkhkfkjhr443qtu9288u98248r824ur892ymcxy83y n83yt8897yx8y83xyt891y24y12yx9y834 4CT#TX38cyn8y3cty38tyc8yt83t83y8ty893yt893y8tyw83ty8w3ytiyiyiytieyty384ync87gc7gugyerufguguy487y3847y87yy2948ur9uw3iyr3iwheirhfinhciuhaiuwaiyry34aiautaigwugugautg_ **

 

**Hiroshi renamed to Opal.**

 

**Opal:** hey guys what’s up

 

**Kuvira:** Opal! Are you okay????

 

**Opal:** yeah why?

 

**Korra:** No joke, Opal literally just got better in a blink of an eye and then got up as if nothing happen.

 

**Opal:** Did something happen?

 

**Mako:** do you not remember?

 

**Opal:** No, but what happen to the chat? It’s all a mess.

 

**Asami:** Satisfaction and moving on.

 

**Bolin:** We learn that Asami has daddy issues and Korra spanks her.

 

**Asami:** You know what, Bolin? You’re right.

 

**Mako:** woah….

 

**Opal:** Did Asami...just….admit something embarrassing?

**Opal:** What happen when i was gone?

 

**Asami:** Who’s hungry? Dinner is on me.

 

**Bolin:** Let’s go to a Fire BBQ!!

 

**Korra:** Do they have a vegetarian option

 

**Mako:** they make really good sautéed veggies

 

**Asami:** Korra you coming?

 

**Korra:** I’ll meet you there with naga babe!

 

**Asami:** Kuvira, ill have some bbq sent to your cell

 

**Kuvira:** Thank you Asami, that’s nice of you.

 

**Opal:** WTF HAPPEN? WHO TOOK ASAMI AND REPLACED HER?

**Opal:** GUYS?

**Opal:** WAIT! KORRA COME BACK!! YOU LEFT WITHOUT ME

**Opal:** I want bbq veggies….

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t you hate it when everyone ignores you on the group chat?
> 
> If you have any suggestions on what to write next on this chat fic, let me know. You can contact me on my tumblr @kokoro—nerd or let me know in the comments below.


	5. Mommy issues

**Kuvira added Opal to group chat “Do not call me the S-name”**

 

**Opal:** Thanks Vee, <3

 

**Kuvira:** No problem, Opal. :)

 

**Bolin:** Did you get kicked out of the chat? I don’t remember ever seeing you leave.

 

**Opal:** No I got a new phone and number.

**Opal:** Ever since what happen with Asami’s dad, my phone has been possessed.

 

**Mako:** That’s terrifying…

 

**Opal:** IKR? My old phone would just light up or turn off unexpectedly and I get creepy messages at random

 

**Bolin:** Is your old phone number still on this chat?

 

**Opal:** It shouldn’t be, I disabled the old number.

 

**Korra:** I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that spirits could just possess phones

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t think it’s that simple. I think the spirits in Republic City, the ones that are more or less alive, can’t possess a phone but the spirits beyond the realm of the living can. Spirits of the dead are known to possess some kind of electrical charge, making anything that is sensitive to it go berserk. The situation with Hiroshi could seem plausible. For some reason, Opal’s phone reacted to Hiroshi’s energy and he got latched on.

 

**Bolin:** yeah i not following, pls speak english

 

**Kuvira:** You served me for three years?

 

**Bolin:** i don’t how i didn’t realize you were a dicktator

 

**Kuvira: …**

**Kuvira:** You wrote that on purpose.

 

**Mako:** You did do some dicky things.

 

**Opal:** Yeah, you did mentally ruin Baatar and Suyin literally wants to metalbend your head off every time I talk about you

 

**Mako:** why would you talk about Kuvira to your mom?

 

**Opal:** I’m a savage 

 

**Mako:** don’t you think it’s insensitive to talk about kuvira to your mom?

 

**Opal:** How horrible of a kisser were you that your exes decided to date each other?

 

**Mako:** ….

 

**Bolin:** Shiiiit!!

 

**Opal:** stay in your lane, mako.

 

**Korra:** Aw man, Asami would laugh

 

**Kuvira:** Where is she?

 

**Korra:** She’s stuck in meetings all day.

 

**Mako:** what are you doing korra?

 

**Korra:** chillin with naga. 

 

**Mako:** don’t you have a world to keep in balance?

 

**Korra:** do you see shit going on?

 

**Mako:** no?

 

**Korra:** then it’s in balance Mako, don’t tell me how to do my job

**Korra:** what are you doing mako?

 

**Mako:** Nothing.

 

**Bolin:** Lin gave us the day off

 

**Opal:** that’s odd of her

 

**Bolin:** I may or may not have dropped a sleeping pill into her tea

 

**Mako:** Wait What?

 

**Opal:** good, she needs to actually sleep

**Opal:** she’s so grumpy all the time

 

**Korra:** she needs to get laid

**Korra:** it might actually do a lot for her

 

**Kuvira:** I agree.

 

**Bolin:** When was the last time you got laid, Kuvira?

 

**Kuvira:** Last night.

 

**Mako:** huh?

 

**Korra:** Nice Opal. ;)

 

**Opal:** thaaaanks

 

**Bolin:** dude did you just metalbend the bars to get her inside the cell? Cuz that’s badass

 

**Kuvira:** Sure. Let’s just say that.

 

**Mako:** you can literally just leave the cell and escape...do you realize that Kuvira?

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah but I kinda like it here. Plus I think Asami and Suyin would drag me back to prison and I might get a downgrade.

**Kuvira:** It’s getting easier to bend the rules here so I kinda want to keep it like that until my sentence is up.

 

**Mako:** How much time do you have?

 

**Kuvira:** Whenever Suyin and Asami think I am ready to come out.

 

**Opal:** I’m sure Asami will be more lenient, I don’t know about my mom.

 

**Bolin:** It would be so much fun if Kuvira joined us on our adventures!

 

**Mako:** She’s dating your ex…

 

**Bolin:** And you’re making it weird.

 

**Opal:** Yeah, you are.

 

**Korra:** You are, Mako

 

**Kuvira:** You really are, Mako.

 

**Opal renamed to Yasuko.**

 

**Yasuko:** Anata wa, Mako-Kun.

 

**Kuvira:** Opal, why did you change your name?

 

**Opal:** I didn’t? What?

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Mako:** …

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Yasuko:** Konnichiwa! (^o^)

 

**Korra:** Who are you…?

 

**Yasuko:** Hajimemashite, Yasuko desu. Dōzo yoroshiku onegaishimasu. *bows*

 

**Bolin:** I think...their name is Yasuko.

 

**Kuvira:** Did she really type out bow?

 

**Korra:** Wait….Yasuko? Asami’s mother???

 

**Mako:** ….

 

**Bolin:** ….

 

**Opal: …..**

 

**Yasuko:ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ**

 

**Opal:** Can we keep her?

 

**Bolin:** She’s so adorable!

 

**Korra:** omg…..

 

**Yasuko:** Asami-chan wa doko desu ka?

 

**Bolin:** what she say?

 

**Kuvira:** I think she’s asking where Asami is at?

 

**Mako:** How do you know?

 

**Kuvira:** I studied Japanese a bit.

 

**Bolin:** What’s that?

 

**Kuvira:** The Fire Nation’s original language…

**Kuvira:** You know...before we all started speaking English.

 

**Bolin:** Never heard of it…

 

**Korra:** Wait! So what was Hiroshi saying last time? Nani?

 

**Kuvira:** He was just saying ‘what’.

 

**Yasuko:** Asami-chan wa doko desu ka? ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

 

**Opal:** Korra, get Asami! She’s crying. She misses her!

 

**Mako:** Call her, Korra!

 

**Bolin:** NOW NOW

 

**Korra:** On it!

 

**Kuvira:** You guys can’t understand one of the four founding native languages but you guys understand kaomoji?

 

**Bolin:** What’s kaomoji?

 

**Kuvira:** It’s like Japanese emojis.

 

**Bolin:** Then just say that. Don’t make it any more complicated…

 

**Kuvira: ٩(╬ʘ益ʘ╬)۶**

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Asami:** Korra, I love you, but I can’t answer your calls right now. I’m in a very important meeting.

 

**Korra:** YOUR MOM IS ON GROUP CHAT RIGHT NOW AND SHE IS CRYING 

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** MOM!?

 

**Yasuko:** Asami-chan! (つ≧▽≦)つ

 

**Bolin:** AWWWW

 

**Mako:** she’s hugging, that’s so cute.

 

**Opal:** can we keep her???? She’s breaking my heart

 

**Asami:** HOW? WHAT? WHEN? WHY? 

 

**Yasuko:** Asami-chan! Aishiteru!  ⊂(￣▽￣)⊃

 

**Opal:** My heart!!!

 

**Bolin:** We don’t know what you’re saying but it’s so adorable!!!!!

 

**Asami:** mom…

**Asami:** is that really you?

 

**Yasuko:** Haaiiiii! (o^ ^o)

 

**Asami:** Mommy, I’ve missed you so much. I think about you everyday and night. I miss your smiles and your hugs. I miss the mornings when I would wake up and see you cooking breakfast. I never forgot the way you talk or the way you always tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Spirits, everything really changed since you were gone. 

**Asami:** It ruined father so much. I know he meant well but his love for you turned to hate. I know I was mean to daddy last time but I do care for him. It’s just that he really distorted himself with his hate. I had to electrocute him, mom. Me? Turning against my own father, my only other living family at that time. I’m just glad I was able to forgive him before he was squished like a fly.

**Asami:** @Kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** I thought we overcame that….

 

**Asami:** Anyways, mom, not a day goes by that I don’t think about you holding me and telling me bedtime stories. I miss you so much and I’m so glad you can contact me through here. Oh, I wish you were here right now so I can hug you. I just want to relive those days when you would brush my hair and give me cookies. Just you and me. Mother and daughter.

 

**Yasuko: (ಠ_ಠ)**

**Yasuko:** I thought Hiroshi was kidding that you call Korra “Daddy” but, damn, you might have serious issues Asami…

**Yasuko:** I think you might have mommy issues too…

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OH MY SPIRITS. ASAMI GOT TOLD OFF BY HER OWN MOM

 

**Bolin:** Oh thank spirits, she speaks English.

 

**Yasuko:** Oh yah, I always did. I thought it was easier to win you guys over with kaomoji

**Yasuko:** Although I am disappointed that you youngsters don’t learn your native languages. Especially you two, Mako, Bolin

**Yasuko:** You should know or try to understand a bit of Chinese and Japanese. That’s a part your culture.

 

**Mako:** yes ma’am 

 

**Bolin:** I have a question, Mrs. Sato.

 

**Yasuko:** Yes?

 

**Bolin:** You’re a Fire Nation citizen, right?

 

**Yasuko:** Correct.

 

**Bolin:** And the Sato family can be traced back to the first Fire Nation colonist.

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah that’s on Hiroshi’s family but you’re correct.

 

**Bolin:** Why does Asami have green eyes?

 

**Yasuko:** IDK? She might be just weird like that.

 

**Asami:** Mom!

 

**Yasuko:** Could be someone in my family that had a Earth Citizen marry into the clan and then our gene pool got mixed up? Maybe. Why? Does it really matter?

 

**Mako:** It was just something that everyone has been wondering about. Like eeeeveryone.

 

**Opal:** So many people give Asami shit for it

 

**Kuvira:** Yet no one questions Mako and Bolin….

 

**Yasuko:** Ugh, picky… who really cares? 

**Yasuko:** media always wants to cause some kind of drama

**Yasuko:** Korra, why have you been quiet all this time?

 

**Korra:** I did get mad at your husband and told him off….and now you’re here.

 

**Yasuko:** Korra, that was hilarious. 

**Yasuko:** Don’t worry, I’m not going to kinkshame Asami. She has always been an interesting and weird child.

 

**Asami:** Wow...thanks…

 

**Yasuko:** I mean...how did Hiroshi not see that his daughter was also interested in girls??

 

**Asami:** You...knew that?

**Asami:** How? You were dead when I was six.

 

**Yasuko:** I caught you with two naked female dolls, trying to get them to scissor. Remember?

 

**Asami:** …..I….forgot about that….

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH 

 

**Asami:** Every child does that at one point, mom, not just me.

**Asami:** I mean playing with dolls. It was just curiosity. I probably had no idea what I was doing.

 

**Yasuko:** Okay, sure, but you really were curious about those naked dolls.

**Yasuko:** Like….really curious….

 

**Opal:** I can just say that I did the same to my dolls

 

**Kuvira:** Me too.

 

**Korra:** Me three.

 

**Asami:** Okay, no….that doesn’t prove that you knew I was interested in girls.

 

**Yasuko:** Okay Asami. Whatever you say. I’m not against you being bisexual. I think it’s great.

 

**Asami:** Aw, thanks mom.

 

**Yasuko:** You have bad taste in men though. @Mako

 

**Mako:** Thanks……

 

**Yasuko:** And Korra, I truly am happy that you and Asami are together. Please take good care of her.

 

**Korra:** I will, Yasuko. I promise.

 

**Yasuko:** Good because she’s like the Sasuke of Naruto.

**Yasuko:** She has that chidori glove ready if you piss her off.

 

**Asami:** Mom…..

 

**Bolin:** AAAAYYYYYYY Yasuko agrees

 

**Yasuko:** Aaayyyy. Anyways, I have a time limit on this whole possessing the phone thing and Hiroshi is nagging me so I got to goooo

**Yasuko:** ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

 

**Yasuko left group chat “Don’t call me the S-name”**

 

**Bolin:** What’s with all these weird restrictions with the dead spirits??

 

**Asami:** She seems happy. :)

 

**Korra:** I’m glad you got to talk to her.

 

**Asami:** Me too.

 

**Opal:** She validates your kinks, Asami.

 

**Asami:** STFU Opal….

 

**Kuvira:** At least you have a mom to validate your kinks….

 

**Asami:** Sigh….

 

**Mako:** Asami, weren’t you in a meeting? Did you leave or are you texting during it?

 

**Asami:** Oh...shit….

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** *texts photo*

**Opal:** Look at today’s newspaper!

**Opal: “** ASAMI SATO GOING CRAZY? TALKING TO DEAD MOTHER?”

 

**Bolin:** That’s the headlines????

**Bolin:** Hahahahah!!!!

 

**Asami:** brb, imma chidori some asses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like....no one knows a second language except Kuvira and Asami’s parents. Trolololololoooooo
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd.


	6. The power of fanfiction

**Bolin:** WHERE IS PABU?

**Bolin:** HUH?

**Bolin:** WHERE IS HE?

**Bolin:** WHERE IS PABU

**Bolin:** PABU?

**Bolin:** WHERE IS HE?

**Bolin:** DID ONE OF YOU GUYS TAKE HIM?

**Bolin:** WHERE IS HE?

**Bolin:** WHERE IS PABU

 

**Asami:** Spirits, Bolin. It’s 4 am in the morning!

 

**Opal:**  did we all seriously not turn our phones off??

**Opal:** Dang, Kuvira is lucky...

 

**Korra:** No, Asami and I are actually already up

 

**Opal:** Why?

 

**Asami:** We are trying to finish some of the arcs of One Piece

 

**Opal:** Oh that’s a good show. What episodes are you guys on?

 

**Korra:** we’re on the Enies Lobby arc

 

**Opal:** oooo nice

 

**Mako:** BOLIN STOP THROWING THE CHAIRS

 

**Asami:** What is going on over there?

 

**Mako:** He’s freaking out about Pabu. We can’t find him.

 

**Bolin:** WHERE IS PABU

 

**Asami:** Bolin, where did you see him last?

 

**Bolin:** WHERE IS PABU

 

**Asami:** Bolin, you have to tell me something so that we can try to help you.

 

**Bolin:** WHERE THE FUCK IS PABU?

 

**Opal:** It’s no use, Asami. He gets like this and that’s all he says.

 

**Mako:** Pabu is prolly just hanging somewhere around the apartment, relax Bolin

 

**Bolin:** KORRA IF YOUR BEAR ATE PABU, I WILL WRECK YOU

 

**Korra:** Naga and Pabu are like bff. 

 

**Bolin:** IF YOUR BEAR ATE PABU, I WILL WRECK YOU

 

**Korra:** Naga isn’t going to just walk over to your place and eat Pabu….she’s been here with us.

 

**Mako:** shit…

**Mako:** Asami, Korra, he just stormed out of the apartment and he’s heading to you guys

 

**Korra:** so?

 

**Opal:** yeah you guys should run

 

**Asami:** why?

 

**Mako:** I’m his brother

 

**Opal:** i dated him for almost 3 years

 

**Mako:** WE KNOW HOW MAD HE GETS

 

**Korra:** Look, the worst he’s going to do is yell at Asami that she’s Sasuke bc he knows it irritates her.

 

**Asami:** he better not

 

**Mako:** Look, this is a warning: just run

 

**Korra:** I’m the Avatar.

 

**Asami:** I’m dating the Avatar and I have money

 

**Korra:** He ain’t got nothing on me

**Korra:** He’ll tire himself out and go back home.

 

**Asami:** I’ll just pay for any damages he does.

 

**Opal:** okay…

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** HE THREW A BOULDER AT OUR TV

**Asami:** WE DON’T KNOW IF NICO ROBIN IS OKAY????

**Asami:** OMG I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF NICO ROBIN IS OKAY

 

**Mako:** I told you guys should’ve just run

 

**Opal:** Just buy another tv

 

**Asami:** WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR LIKE 6 HOURS UNTIL A STORE OPENS SO WE CAN BUY A NEW TV

 

**Mako:** Just watch it on your phone

 

**Opal:** no…

 

**Asami:** who watches shows on their phone?….

 

**Mako:** Everyone?????

 

**Opal:** um okay mako, whatever you say

 

**Asami:** Besides I have all the current arcs on dvd.

**Asami:** it took me forever to get each arc

 

**Mako:** omg….so what’s happening?

 

**Asami:** Korra is trying to deal with him.

 

**Korra:** HE’S BUILDING A FUCKING WALL

 

**Asami:** omg he is…

 

**Mako:** you guys should have just run…

 

**Asami:** He’s barricaded himself into some dome

 

**Mako:** oh no….

 

**Asami:** HE’S SPREADING LAVA ALL OVER MY FRONT YARD

 

**Opal:** he is a lavabender

 

**Asami:** All this for Pabu?????

 

**Mako:** yep

 

**Asami:** WHY AREN’T YOU GUYS HELPING US

 

**Opal:** You didn't ask

 

**Mako:** We just warned

 

**Opal:** korra seem confident she could take him

 

**Asami:** ….

**Asami:** wow, some friends you guys are….

 

**Opal:** at least we warned yah.

 

**Korra:** MAKO PLEASE LOOK FOR PABU

 

**Mako:** Oh I found him already. He was under the bed.

 

**Asami:** …

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Opal:** Oh Pabu hahaha

 

**Asami:** when did you find him??

 

**Mako:** right after Bolin left

 

**Asami:** You didn’t think to tell us?? Or Bolin???

 

**Mako:** you guys were being cocky

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Korra:** are you trying to get us back or something?????

 

**Mako:** No.

 

**Korra:** are you still that butthurt that we’re dating??

 

**Mako:** Of course not. I’m over it.

 

**Opal:** liar…

 

**Mako:** Really, that’s not the reason.

 

**Asami:** WTF BOLIN JUST BROKE ALL OF THE DVDS FOR ONE PIECE

**Asami:** WHY AREN’T YOU TELLING HIM?

**Asami:** MAKO, HE’S NOT LISTENING TO US

 

**Mako:** lol, ok ok I’ll call him.

**Mako:** btw just read the manga if you’re so butthurt

 

**Asami:** maybe I just wanted to cuddle and watch a show, you lonely little fire shit

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** Gooooood morning everyone~~

**Bolin:** Where’s Mako? I didn’t see him this morning.

 

**Opal:** he’s rebuilding Asami’s house

 

**Bolin:** ???

**Bolin:** Don’t you think i should be doing that? I’m the one who offered.

 

**Korra:** Did he not tell you that he was the one who hid Pabu from you?

 

**Bolin:** Asami, make him suffer.

 

**Asami:** Oh, I am. Don’t worry.

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** Why did you really hide Pabu?

 

**Mako:** Bolin ate my last dumpling.

 

**Opal:** All this for a dumpling??? Oh man….don’t ever tell Asami this.

 

**Mako:** I give up. I’m just glad to finally be done

 

**Asami:** This ain’t private message….

 

**Korra:** …..

 

**Mako:** WTF OPAL??? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME

 

**Opal:** Trololololololoooooooo not my fault you didn’t check

 

**Bolin:** YOU COULD’VE JUST SAID IT WAS YOURS INSTEAD OF MAKING A HUGE FUSS ABOUT IT

 

**Kuvira:** With all these late night texts, do you guys even sleep??

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** Okay, I’ve been holding this one back for a while but it’s about time I share with the rest of you guys.

 

**Asami:** It is 2 am in the morning…

**Asami:** don’t start the Pabu business like last night

**Asami:** Why do I never silence my phone????

 

**Korra:** What is it Bolin?

 

**Bolin:** *texts link*

**Bolin:** Check that out.

 

**Asami:** WTF IS THIS

 

**Korra:** Are these stories about us??

 

**Bolin:** Not just you two! All of us

 

**Asami:** What??

 

**Korra:** That’s…..

**Korra:** weird….

 

**Bolin:** It’s called fanfiction 

**Bolin:** Apparently people like to write stories about us.

**Bolin:** some of them are reallly good.

 

**Asami:** um...this is weird…

**Asami:** We’re real people

**Asami:** there are a lot of ‘M’ and ‘E’ stories of us

 

**Bolin:** ok but like some are actually really good

 

**Asami:** this is not okay.

**Asami:** a lot of these pple are just writing about Korra and I having sex

**Asami:** this makes me uncomfortable 

**Asami:** why would you show this to us???

 

**Korra:** did you show this to everyone else?

 

**Bolin:** Oh yeah, i already sent it to opal

 

**Opal:** I’m reading this reaaallly good story on Kuvira and I

**Opal:** you two are in there too

**Opal:** but like, daaaamn, the sex scenes are hooot

**Opal:** I try to skim over your guys’ sex scenes though

**Opal:** @Kuvira, what chapter are you on?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m on chapter 15

 

**Opal:** ok I’m on chapter 20 so you’re catching up

 

**Asami:** Don’t you find this weird????

 

**Kuvira:** They make me sound really hot.

 

**Opal:** it is really hot tho

**Opal:** *texts link*

**Opal:** That’s the one I’m reading.

 

**Asami:** so that’s what an omega and alpha is….

 

**Korra:** *texts link*

**Korra:** Okay that one I found was really good.

 

**Asami:** KORRA!!

 

**Korra:** just read that one, it’s really good.

 

**Asami:** You have a dick in that one….???

 

**Korra:** just read it. Trust me.

 

**Bolin: @** Mako i found a tag that has just you and Wu

 

**Mako:** it’s 2 in the morning, wtf are you guys doing?

**Mako:** My back hurts from lifting all day

 

**Bolin:** @Mako *texts link*

**Bolin:** Look at this list.

 

**Opal:** how you doing Asami?

 

**Asami:** I’m not admitting that was hot, but I found it interesting.

 

**Kuvira:** You liked it. That writer is really good. You can’t deny that.

 

**Asami:** stfu Kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** Nothing wrong with reading smut about yourself.

 

**Mako:** Why is there so much Mako/Wu written by the same writer??

 

**Korra:** who’s the writer?

 

**Mako:** it’s ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’

**Mako:** who gives themselves such a long username?

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Opal: ….**

 

**Bolin: ….**

 

**Korra: ….**

 

**Kuvira: ….**

  
**Mako:** What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three guesses on what Opal and Kuvira are reading.
> 
> Three guesses on who will be in the next chapter.
> 
> Three guesses on what Korra and Asami will be doing soon.
> 
> Also...don’t hide Pabu from Bolin.
> 
> Tumblr at kokoro—nerd.


	7. ‘Totallynottheearthkingdomprince’

**Korra added Wu to group chat “Do not call me the S-name”**

 

**Opal renamed group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Wu:** OMG I AM IN THE GROUP CHAT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I DREAM OF JOINING THIS LEGENDARY GROUP CHAT WITH YOU GUYS OMG OMG OMG

 

**Bolin:** *texts link*

**Bolin:** Is this you?

 

**Wu:** How do you leave a group chat?

 

**Kuvira:** Are you the one who writes Wu/Mako smut?

 

**Wu:** Um, excuse me? Why the hell is Kuvira in this group chat but not me?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m not you.

 

**Asami:** I somewhat prefer Kuvira than you, Wu.

 

**Wu:** I am a prince. I got monaaaayyy

 

**Asami:** so do i. You’re not special.

**Asami:** little bitch

 

**Korra:** Wu, are you ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’ ?

**Korra:** Wow that is a long username…

 

**Wu:** no…

 

**Mako:** Guys what are you doing?

 

**Wu:** oh shit mako…

 

**Mako:** The username is ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’

**Mako:** It can’t be Wu.

 

**Bolin:** bro…..

 

**Kuvira: ….**

 

**Opal: …..**

 

**Asami: …..**

 

**Korra: ….**

 

**Mako:** what???

 

**Wu:** seriously? How do you leave a group chat?

 

**Opal:** We’ll tell you if you admit to being ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’

 

**Wu:** What? Opal gets to be in this chat???? Um??? What???

 

**Opal:** um I help save the world from kuvira

**Opal:** no offense babe

 

**Kuvira:** None taken.

 

**Wu:** A-are...are you dating Kuvira??

 

**Opal:** Yep. Have been for a while now.

**Opal:** get with the program lover boy

 

**Wu:** You guys are okay with this??

 

**Asami:** I’m working on it.

 

**Korra:** I’m fine with it.

 

**Mako:** It’s cool in my book.

 

**Bolin:** I think they’re cute together.

 

**Wu:** Bolin, Kuvira is dating your ex. Isn’t that weird?

 

**Bolin:** You’re making it weird.

 

**Opal:** You really are.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah you are.

 

**Asami:** besides the point, Wu, do you write these fanfic?

 

**Mako:** guys he said no

 

**Wu:** yeah...toooottallly didn’t write them.

 

**Asami:** Mako, you of all people should know that he’s lying

 

**Mako:** no he’s not

 

**Korra:** how do you know?

 

**Mako:** he said no

 

**Bolin:** …...really?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m sorry but the username gives it away.

 

**Mako:** uh??? It says ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’

**Mako:** so it’s not him.

 

**Asami:** I must have hit him too hard when we first met…..

 

**Korra:** Mako, no one puts their username as ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’ and not be the Earth kingdom prince

**Korra:** spirits, Wu, that is such a long username

 

**Wu:** i had to make sure no one knew it was me

 

**Asami:** so it is you?

 

**Wu:** no….

 

**Mako:** SEE??? He said no like 3 times.

**Mako:** Can we kick him out already??

 

**Korra:** Asami, how in the world did we actually like this dumb idiot???

 

**Bolin:** It’s the eyebrows

 

**Wu:** oh yes, the eyebrows

 

**Asami:** That was the first thing I noticed…..

 

**Korra:** Me too...

 

**Mako:** what? Bolin, you had more girls than me. How did you get all the girls?

 

**Bolin:** I have a nice personality

 

**Opal:** He really does.

 

**Bolin:** Thanks Opal! 

 

**Opal:** Of course best friend!

 

**Kuvira:** Your personality is one of the best things about you.

 

**Bolin:** Awwww Kuvira!! Too sweet.

 

**Wu:** How is this ^^^^^? Not weird?

 

**Asami:** you’re making it weird

 

**Korra:** You really are.

 

**Mako:** guys, can we kick wu out and find out who ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’ is?

 

**Asami:** I’m legit debating if I want Wu to stay and kick Mako out…

 

**Mako:** wow rude

 

**Opal:** Wu look, we aren’t here to shame you

 

**Kuvira:** Although you write some weird sex fetish….

 

**Bolin:** Seriously, I’m a little concern for my brother now….

 

**Opal:** Besides the point. We just want to know if it’s you

 

**Mako:** it’s not him. He said no.

 

**Wu:** yeah it’s me

 

**Mako:** WTF HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS OMFS WTF WTF WHATTTTT

**Mako:** GUYS IT WAS HIM WTF HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS? IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. WTFFFFFF

 

**Asami:** Team Avatar has seen better days…..

 

**Korra kicked Wu out of group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Korra:** Mako, you dumb af. We already assumed that.

 

**Mako:** How?? He kept saying no.

 

**Bolin:** nice to know that my brother understands consent

 

**Opal:** okay...moving on….

 

**Mako:** Well now what??

 

**Kuvira:** Now we set you two up for a date.

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Asami:** We are going to set you and Wu up for a date.

 

**Mako:** Why?

 

**Korra:** bc Wu likes you….

 

**Mako:** He does?

 

**Korra:** …..

 

**Asami: …..**

 

**Opal:** This guy dated the Avatar and a Sato millionaire and not get this??

 

**Kuvira:** W-what happen?

 

**Asami:** Who cares? I get better dick from Korra than Mako.

 

**Korra:** You never got any dick from Mako….

**Korra:** oh…it’s because it’s too small….

 

**Asami:** ayyyyeeee

 

**Korra:** aaaayyyyyyyyyeeee

 

**Asami:** Are you interested in involving a strap on next time?

 

**Korra:** we can start looking into one.

 

**Opal:** can you two not be selfish gays right now?

 

**Asami:** I did not wait almost 20 years to come out of the closet and be told not to be a selfish gay

 

**Korra:** yeah opal, you can never understand what it is like staying in a closet

 

**Kuvira:** Hello? Opal and I are dating.

 

**Korra:** oh my bad i forgot

 

**Asami:** lolz sorry

 

**Bolin:** annnyyyywaaaaayyyyys lets set Mako and Wu up

 

**Mako:** why? He doesn’t like me like that.

 

**Asami:....**

 

**Korra: ……**

 

**Opal:.....**

 

**Kuvira: …..**

 

**Bolin: ……**

 

**Mako:** what?

 

**Bolin:** HAVE YOU NOT BEEN FOLLOWING ANYTHING AT ALL?

 

**Mako:** I have. Wu is the ‘totallynottheearthkingdomprince’ 

**Mako:** what does that have to do with me dating him?

 

**Asami:** Wu wants your D

 

**Mako:** huh?

 

**Korra:** Very blunt, Asami

 

**Asami:** look i have to give it to him straight.

 

**Korra:** ….

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Korra:** aaayyyyeeee

 

**Asami:** aaayyyyeeee

 

**Mako:** What’s a D?

 

**Bolin:** Oh right, you have a ‘d’

 

**Korra:** stop im dying

 

**Asami:** oh spirits hahahah

 

**Mako:** seriously, what is a ‘d’ or ‘D’?

 

**Opal:** I give up…

 

**Kuvira:** Mako, the reason why we want to set you up with a date with Wu is because we think Wu holds romantic feelings for you. Wu writes those fanfictions about you and him because we think he very much likes you more as a friend. Which is very obvious based on the stuff he writes... If you’re not interested in him, you don’t have to date him but just know that Wu has a romantic interest in you. Whether you want to put him down gently or not is really up to you. If you are interested, we are more than happy to help you date Wu.

 

**Mako:** oooooooooooohhhhh

**Mako:** You guys could’ve just told me that

 

**Asami: …..**

 

**Korra: …..**

 

**Opal: …..**

 

**Bolin: …..**

 

**Kuvira: ……**

 

**Mako:** WHAT?

 

**Bolin:** Nevermind. 

 

**Mako:** But why would he have any interest in me?

 

**Asami:** You’re a good guy, Mako. Even when we broke up, you cared about Korra and I and didn’t let your personal feelings get in the way of missions. You’ve helped save the world.

 

**Korra:** You’re not bad looking. In fact, you’re a very handsome man. You have good features on you. I was very much attracted to you at first sight, and it was genuine. 

 

**Bolin:** You have a bigger heart than what people think. You care about others and want to do what is right.

 

**Opal:** You have saved Wu many times. You are strong. You risked your life many times before. All for the sake of protecting the ones you love.

 

**Kuvira:** When you care, it really shows. You have great traits, Mako. You stood by your friends against me, even I was touched at how far you’ll go for your friends.

 

**Mako:** ….Wtf is wrong with all of you??

**Mako:** Did I do something wrong??

**Mako:** is this a set up to roast me??

  
**Opal:** TAKE THE DAMN COMPLIMENTS YOU USELESS GAY//BISEXUAL/ WHATEVER YOUR SEXUALITY IS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I think Lin needs to rethink about Mako as her officer....he’s not doing so good...
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	8. Mako sucks at his job

**Mako added Lin and Wu to group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Bolin:** Wow Mako, you snitch 

 

**Mako:** WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS DOING TODAY????

 

**Lin:** Explain. Now.

 

**Bolin:** Wu writes smutty fanfiction.

 

**Wu:** Did u enjoy dem??

 

**Bolin:** of course not, that’s my brother you nasty

 

**Lin:** Not what I meant, at all. What happened today at the restaurant? Where are you, Bolin? Where’s Opal, Asami, and Korra?

 

**Bolin:** I’m at home. I haven’t seen Asami and Korra since that guy gave Asami a bloody nose. Opal ditched like 5 minutes into the stakeout

 

**Kuvira:** Asami got a bloody nose?

 

**Asami:** It might be broken…

 

**Lin:** Where are you guys? Mako is with me. I don’t know where fancy pants is.

 

**Wu:** I chillin with da moles. My homies from dah modah earth

 

**Mako:** That’s where you ran off to?

 

**Wu:** they make me feel safe. I waz scared

 

**Kuvira:** Opal is with me.

 

**Opal:** I am not wasting my time on some stupid stakeout for two men that can’t seem to wrap their feelings around each other. I would rather spend time with my girlfriend.

 

**Wu:** Lin, u okay with dis????? They being lesbians! They lesbianing

 

**Lin:** It’s better than what my sister did to my face. 

 

**Wu:** But it’s with kuvira!!

 

**Lin:** Opal ain’t my kid. That’s Suyin’s problem.

**Lin:** I wanted to make sure she was okay, since we are family, and she hangs out with this idiot group. Now the real problem is Asami and Korra.

 

**Korra:** Asami and I are at the Sato mansion 

 

**Lin:** Want to explain what the hell happen?

 

**Korra:** That man was literally trying to molest Asami and he wouldn’t back off.

 

**Mako:** He was molesting a blonde woman first.

 

**Asami:** That was me, Mako. I was wearing a wig.

 

**Wu:** Did u knot know dat, Mako? It was kinda obvi

 

**Mako:** WTF THAT WAS YOU, ASAMI. WHAT?

 

**Wu:....**

 

**Korra:.....**

 

**Bolin:.....**

 

**Opal: …..**

 

**Kuvira:** Here we go again.

 

**Lin:** You weren’t even there, Kuvira. Stay out of this.

 

**Kuvira:** Trust me, Lin, I tried but it’s tempting to just join in.

 

**Mako:** So that was the woman that was next to Wu and I?? The blonde one was Asami???

**Mako:** that explains why Asami just popped in out of nowhere….

 

**Korra:** Did you not notice I was there, Mako?

 

**Mako:** no…

 

**Korra:** I was the waitress serving drinks to Asami

 

**Mako:** WTF WTF WTF THAT WAS YOUU KORRAAA?????

 

**Wu:** She just wore a blonde wig too…..it was obvi

 

**Asami:** Why did we do a stakeout for this idiot?

 

**Lin:** Alright. Here is what I got. There was a bad fight at the restaurant because a man was trying to flirt with Asami and Korra got in to intervene. How did Asami get her nose broken?

 

**Asami:** I jumped in when he got too physical with Korra. I got to be there to protect my baby.

 

**Korra:** You’re too good for me, Asami!

 

**Asami:** I always have your back, Korra!

 

**Opal:** Gaaaaaaayyyyy

 

**Wu:** dats tru love

 

**Lin:** Stop talking like that, Wu, for crying out loud…

 

**Mako:** So why were you guys there??

 

**Bolin:** We were worried, except Opal, about your date with Wu and we wanted to be there to make sure it went alright.

 

**Mako:** You guys did that for me??

 

**Asami:** We give you a lot of shit but you’re still one of our closest friends.

 

**Korra:** We knew you were nervous and we wanted to be there to help you along.

 

**Bolin:** We didn’t expect a man to start flirting with Asami.

 

**Opal:** I care too, just not today in particular .

 

**Mako:** Thank you, everyone. Even you, Opal. That means a lot.

 

**Wu:** Asami was smooookiin hoooott in dat wig

 

**Mako:** So you were checking her out….

 

**Wu:** So were u, Mako, u said the blonde chick had a nice rack

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Mako:** I did not say those exact words, Asami. I swear.

 

**Asami:** but you said something….

 

**Wu:** then u said the waitress has a nice asss

 

**Korra:** ….

 

**Mako:** I definitely did not say that.

 

**Wu:** okay u be looking at Korra’s booty like ‘dat ass. Daaat aaaasss’

 

**Mako:** I did not do that. At all.

 

**Wu:** whatevah bro, it’s fine. I go both wayzzzz

 

**Lin:** I worry for the future of the Earth Kingdom.

 

**Bolin:** So no second date with this guy, Mako?

 

**Mako:** Never again

 

**Wu:** No wait, give me another chance.

 

**Lin:** Oh now you speak like a normal person…

 

**Mako:** Wu, you flirted with Asami and Korra in their disguises, barely made any conversation with me, and you sound like an idiot on this chat. So no.

 

**Wu:** Wait wait! Please hear me out. You’re right. I have no excuse. I was nervous. Really nervous. 

 

**Bolin:** You write smut about you and Mako, how can you be nervous to have dinner with him….?

 

**Wu:** That’s all fantasy. Look, Mako, I didn’t have much of a social life growing up, you know with me being a prince and all, and I was so excited and nervous for this date. I read an article about how to bond with men and it said that men can bond by checking out girls together and using slang.

 

**Opal:** That was slang you were using??

 

**Mako:** I think you read the wrong article…

 

**Wu:** I did. I’m sorry, Mako. I just wanted you to think of me as a man and not as the ‘Wu Down’ version of me. Or the creepy prince that writes fanfic.

 

**Asami:** You are the creepy prince that writes fanfics…

 

**Wu:** I’m sorry Mako. I understand if you don’t ever want to give me a second chance. I was being stupid, immature, and not being myself. All I can do is apologize and wish you the best.

 

**Mako:** You know what, Wu, today was the weirdest date I have ever had, by far. And it was all my friend’s fault, to be honest. I was nervous too. I never dated a guy. I shouldn’t really be judging you so much, especially not after what happen today. I’ll give you a second chance, Wu. This time, without my friends interfering.

 

**Wu:** Thank you Mako, I’m honored.

 

**Asami:** Not my fault that the man wanted to jump on me….

 

**Lin:** Look, this is cute and all, but I have a report to fill out and about four missing young adults that I need back at the station. Come down here or else I have to send for a warrant for your arrests.

 

**Bolin:** You could’ve just asked, spirits...

**Bolin:** For the record, I barely did anything

 

**Opal:** Aw, come on auntie. Let the moment live a bit longer

 

**Lin:** I have a job to do. Mako and Wu can be lovey dovey after I get them to fill out paperwork.

 

**Korra:** homophobe...

 

**Lin:** I am not a homophobe. I am just trying to finish my work.

 

**Asami:** when was the last time you relaxed?

 

**Lin:** This has nothing to do with anything. Please get down to the station ASAP.

 

**Opal:** When was the last time you went on a date, Auntie??

 

**Lin:** This has nothing to do with anything. Please get down here, now.

 

**Korra:** Was the last date you ever went on with Tenzin?

 

**Lin:** I fail to see why you guys are asking me these questions and not marching to the station to fill out these paperwork.

 

**Bolin:** Chief, I have never seen you happy.

 

**Lin:** I have been happy before. Doesn’t mean I have to be happy right now.

 

**Mako:** No offense, Chief, but you haven’t really showed any interest in anyone and you live alone.

 

**Lin:** There is nothing wrong with living alone.

 

**Mako:** You’re right! That’s fine. It’s just that maybe you should keep an eye open for a special someone.

 

**Lin:** I don’t want to hear this from you of all people.

 

**Wu:** He has more credibility than you do now.

 

**Mako:** Thanks Wu.

 

**Wu:** <3

 

**Asami:** gaaaaaaaayyyy

**Asami:** In all seriousness, I think Korra and I know someone who might be interested in you.

 

**Korra:** Lin, do you have anything against Waterbenders??

 

**Lin:** I don’t, Korra. But can you guys please come down to the station instead of talking on this chat?

 

**Asami:** Would you have anything against this certain Waterbender having Airbender brothers?

 

**Lin:** Will you please come down to the station?

 

**Korra:** If this Airbender brother is someone you may or may not had feelings for, hypothetically, would that be an issue?

 

**Lin:** Who the hell are you talking about?

 

**Opal:** AW Korra, Asami, they would make a cute couple!!!

 

**Asami:** I know right???

 

**Bolin:** I SHIP IT!

 

**Lin:** GET DOWN HERE AND STOP TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH SOME KIND OF WATERBENDER I DON’T KNOW

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Asami:** Kya!

 

**Korra:** Kya!

 

**Kya:** Kya!

**Kya:** Hello my gay babies!

**Kya:** How are you?

 

**Asami:** Kya, are you single at the moment?

 

**Kya:** Single and ready to mingle~

 

**Korra:** Do you have anyone in particular on your mind?

 

**Kya:** No, not right now.

**Kya:** That means I am open~

 

**Asami:** Would you have an interest in a metalbender? Specifically a Beifong?

 

**Kya:** Suyin?

**Kya:** I don’t do married women.

 

**Korra:** No not Suyin. Her sister.

 

**Kya:** Tenzin’s ex? Lin?

 

**Asami:** Yeah! Lin Beifong!

 

**Kya:** Ooo, she’s a sight for sore eyes.

**Kya:** How does she keep her body in shape at her age? Hot damn.

 

**Korra:** If we send you down to the station to Lin, can you possibly count that as a date in your books.

 

**Kya:** Did you kids get in trouble?

 

**Asami:** A man flirted with me and korra stepped in and I have a broken nose now. All for Mako and Wu’s first date.

 

**Kya:** That’s why I wear this betrothal choker so I keep men away.

**Kya:** and personal family value or something like that. On my mom’s side.

**Kya:** Really? Wu and Mako? Huh…

 

**Korra:** Would you be willing to swing down to the station?

 

**Kya:** I’ll see what I can do, honaaaays~~~

 

**Asami:** Really??

 

**Kya:** Of course! I’m not going to live forever, I got to get a little daring every once in a while.

 

**Asami:** Nice!!!

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** No one go to the station, we will send someone else in our stead.

 

**Bolin:** Thank spirit, bc i am very cozy on this couch

 

**Opal:** oooooo im so excited to see what happens

 

**Lin:** Are you kidding me? All this so you don’t fill paperwork?

 

**Kuvira:** It is apparent that that is the reason.

 

**Mako:** Paperwork takes forever anyways.

 

**Asami:** This is worth my broken nose

 

**Lin:** You are all adults! Just come down here or I will come after you!

 

**Korra:** Try me.

 

**Wu:** This is going to be good.

 

**Lin:** Alright, that’s it!

**Lin:** I am leaving now!

**Lin:** I’m taking the first step out, you better come down here now!

**Lin:** Really? The silent treatment?

**Lin:** *texts photo*

**Lin:** Is that who I think it is?

 

**Mako:** Did you just take a picture of Kya when she’s right in front of you?

 

**Opal:** She looks so happy to see you!

 

**Bolin:** She bought roses!!!!

 

**Wu:** AWWWW

 

**Korra:** Now we wait.

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** It’s been four hours since Lin texted. I think it’s going well.

 

**Asami:** Our gay momma always got our back.

**Asami:** *texts screenshot*

**_Kya:_ ** _ *texts photo* _

**_Kya:_ ** _ Did you guys bake me a perfect cake because I’m looking at a snack! _

 

**Bolin:** huh, did not know that Lin could play twister.

 

**Korra:** GO KYA!!!!

 

**Opal:** YES AUNTIE LIN

 

**Mako:** today has been very interesting

 

**Kuvira:** She should have given in when she first got added into the chat

 

**Bolin:** speaking of which, Wu, we kicking you out

 

**Wu:** WAIT WHAT?

 

**Mako:** this chat is only for team avatar

**Mako:** I only added you and Lin bc of legal reasons or something like that

 

**Wu:** Opal and Kuvira get to stay??

 

**Asami:** yeah don’t question it

 

**Asami kicked Wu and Lin out of group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Korra:** lets have no more people invading the chat from now on

 

**Opal:** agreed

 

**Kuvira:** I second that.

 

**Asami:** With yah, babe.

 

**Mako:** yep yep

 

**Bolin:** Yeah, I sure hope one of our phones doesn’t get stolen anytime soon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful what you wish for, Bolin....
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	9. Sai x Sasuke= Asami x Iroh II

**Korra renamed to Meelo.**

 

**Meelo:** ooooo is this a group chat?

 

**Bolin:** Of course Korra would get her phone stolen…

 

**Asami:** Meelo, can you give Korra her phone back?

 

**Meelo:** Hi pretty lady! 

 

**Asami:** Hi Meelo, can you give Korra her phone back?

 

**Meelo:** I’m Meelo the Man, beautiful woman!

 

**Asami:** I’m Asami Sato, Meelo the Man. Where’s Korra?

 

**Meelo:** Hey, Asami?

 

**Asami:** Yes?

 

**Meelo:** Why does your name have the word ‘ass’ in it?

**Meelo:** It’s because you got dat ass!!

 

**Asami: …**

**Asami:** Where is Korra?

 

**Opal:** Okay, can he stay on the chat??

 

**Kuvira:** He’s barely ten…

 

**Meelo:** Woah, it’s the handsome woman!

 

**Kuvira:** I am handsome, aren’t I?

 

**Meelo:** Are you and bowl cut girl dating?

 

**Opal:** Okay, can we kick him out?

 

**Bolin:** he’s not wrong about your hair cut….

 

**Asami:** Meelo, where’s Korra?

 

**Meelo:** it’s a long story, I can tell you over a cup of coffee, pretty lady~~

 

**Meelo renamed to Ikki.**

 

**Ikki added Jinora to group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Asami:** As much as I love you three, why are you guys in this chat?

 

**Jinora:** Hey guys, sorry about Meelo. Well, long story short: Korra is a kid again.

 

**Bolin:** sorry what?

 

**Jinora:** *texts photo*

**Jinora:** See?

 

**Asami:** Aw! She had a pudgy belly as a kid!

 

**Opal:** After everything I’ve seen, this seems normal to have an adult go back to a kid.

 

**Mako:** I just woke up, what the fuck happened?

 

**Kuvira:** language mako. Ikki and Jinora are in this chat. And Meelo too.

 

**Mako:** Jinora is like 14, she’s old enough

 

**Bolin:** Not Ikki and Meelo 

 

**Ikki added Meelo to group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Meelo:** Fudge off Bolin!

 

**Mako:** See? He’s fine.

 

**Asami:** you have a phone???

 

**Meelo:** i sure do pretty woman, can i have your number?

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Ikki:** Meelo, you can find her number on the chat settings.

 

**Meelo:** Thanks Ikki!

 

**Asami:** Shit.

 

**Kuvira:** Language, Asami.

 

**Meelo:** Don’t worry, i know Asami means poop

 

**Asami:** spirits…

 

**Mako:** So what’s this about korra being a kid again?

 

**Jinora:** Korra and us three went into the vines to handle a restless spirit. For some reason, when Korra was fighting, the spirit overpowered her and she turned into a kid.

 

**Bolin:** Well Asami, you have to baby sit! Have fun!

 

**Asami:** Wow, thanks. Not even going to help me figure out how to turn her back?

 

**Opal:** Imma take a nap.

 

**Kuvira:** Big Mood.

 

**Mako:** Same, me too.

 

**Asami:** You just woke up!

 

**Mako:** Being a detective comes with crazy sleep schedule 

 

**Bolin:** You’re not even a good detective 

 

**Mako:** But I am A detective 

 

**Bolin:** okay you’re not wrong…

 

**Asami:** Kids, can you meet me at Avatar Park? I’ll pick up Korra there.

 

**Jinora:** No problem.

 

**Ikki:** Hey Asami?

 

**Asami:** Yes?

 

**Ikki:** So Bolin told us all about how you’re like Sasuke and I have to agree. If Kuvira, Korra, and you are like the main trio, then I think that makes me, Jinora, and Meelo as the Konohamaru squad

 

**Asami:** Oh spirits…not this again...

 

**Bolin:** Oh my spirits, Ikki!! That’s too perfect!!

 

**Jinora:** I have no idea what this is about….

 

**Meelo:** I get to be Konohamaru

 

**Ikki:** No, I’m Konohamaru!!!

 

**Meelo:** No me!

 

**Ikki:** You can be Moegi or something.

**Ikki:** Jinora can be Udon

 

**Jinora:** Thanks?

 

**Meelo:** I want to be Konohamaru!! 

 

**Asami:** why are you guys texting here? Aren’t you three together?

 

**Jinora:** I prefer them on their phones than arguing face to face.

 

**Ikki:** Give me one good reason why you should be Konohamaru

 

**Meelo:** Bc I drew this

**Meelo:** *texts photo*

 

**Bolin:** DID YOU REDRAW THAT SEXY JUTSU SCENE WITH SASUKE AND SAI?????

 

**Opal:** IS THAT ASAMI AND GENERAL IROH II???????? 

 

**Mako:** Wow...you got his jawline correct.

 

**Kuvira:** So is Sasuke the one on top? That’s Asami?

 

**Bolin:** I AM NOT SURE IF I SHOULD HAPPILY FREAKING OUT OR BE WEIRDED OUT 

 

**Opal:** I NEEDED THIS EVER SINCE WE CLAIM ASAMI IS SASUKE

**Opal:** Sorry….that sounds weird

 

**Mako:** Why Iroh II?

 

**Kuvira:** In terms of looks, they really compliment each other.

 

**Mako:** Huh. I can see that now

**Mako:** No wonder why there’s a considerable amount of Iroh x Asami fanfiction

 

**Kuvira:** I see you have taken up on reading fanfiction.

 

**Mako:** Some of them are actually really good. It’s insane that they aren’t actual books.

 

**Kuvira:** I agree. Just change the names and defined it so it’s not us and some of them can pass as well developed plot stories.

 

**Bolin:** THIS IS AMAZING AND I HAVE A LOT OF CONFLICTED FEELINGS THAT MEELO DREW THIS SO WELL

 

**Opal:** Konohamaru was prolly just a bit older than Meelo when he performed that jutsu. It’s fine

 

**Bolin:** then I love it!

 

**Ikki:** Okay, Meelo. You win. You can be Konohamaru.

 

**Meelo:** I thought so!

 

**Asami:** …

**Asami:** I hate all of you. 

**Asami:** I will make you all regret this.

**Asami:** I will restore the Sato honor and destroy this picture and everything it holds dear. Mark my words, I will get my revenge.

 

**Jinora:** Wow. I don’t know much about this Naruto AU but Asami seems to really play the part well for Sasuke.

 

**Asami:** General Iroh II is never going to see that cursed picture. Understand?

 

**Bolin:** Too late, I saved it. Already texted it to Iroh.

 

**Asami:** WHAT THE FUCK BOLIN YOU PIECE OF EARTH SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU ONCE I HELP TURN KORRA BACK U LITTLE FUCKING EARTH CRAP I SWEAR TO SPIRITS I WILL WRING YOUR HEAD

 

**Bolin:** Lol, I was kidding, Asami. I would never do that.

 

**Asami:** Bolin….

 

**Bolin:** But I’m using it as blackmail in case you turn against us

 

**Opal:** Smart!

 

**Asami:** Someone put me out of my misery.

 

**Meelo:** You’re welcome. 

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, sorry to bring the mood down, but isn’t weird that Meelo drew two naked people? He’s barely 10.

**Kuvira:** To be fair, he did draw a lot of clouds so there’s that.

 

**Opal:** Asami made two naked girl dolls scissor when she was like 5. It’s fine. 

 

**Asami:** stfu

**Asami:** Jinora, where are you guys?

 

**Jinora:** We’re by the fountain!

 

**Ikki:** lol Asami u look mad

 

**Meelo:** She’s cute when she’s mad.

 

**Kuvira:** I think you two should get off your phones and run.

 

XXX

 

**Ikki renamed to Korra**

 

**Jinora kicked out Meelo from group chat “Wu,Ya Nasty”**

 

**Jinora left group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Asami:** At least someone has more common sense around here…

 

**Bolin:** How’s Korra?

 

**Korra:** I’m fine. I turned back after a bit.

**Korra:** I see a lot has happen since I was gone.

 

**Opal:** it was amazing!

 

**Mako:** it was hilarious 

 

**Bolin:** I’m glad I saved a copy for blackmail 

 

**Asami:** Bolin, I swear to spirits if you send that to Iroh, I will take Pabu away from you and you will never see him again.

 

**Bolin:** ….

 

**Asami:** Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that!

 

**Kuvira:** Why would you say that of all things?

 

**Asami:** I’m sorry, Bolin! It just came out!! I’m really sorry!!!

 

**Opal:** Aw no, Asami. You messed up. You let your inner sasuke out

 

**Mako:** rip, Asami. Tell us how it goes.

 

**Korra:** i have no idea what is happening but imma take a hard nap and hope for the best

 

**Asami:** Bolin I’m really sorry please don’t send it!!!

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Iroh ll:** Hey, Asami. This is kinda awkward but this was sent to me by an unknown number.

**Iroh ll:** *texts photo*

**Iroh ll:** Do you know anything about this?

 

**Asami:** How much money would it take for you to say that you have never seen that picture in your entire life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so glad I got that off my chest! Tee hee. Hey, any guesses on who might appear in the next chapter? I’ll give you a hint. It involves trying to roast Kuvira.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd.


	10. Bataar Junior Sucks

**Bataar Jr added Bataar Jr to group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira **.**

 

**Kuvira:** Bataar Jr

 

**Mako:** wtf….

 

**Bolin:** how did you add yourself? How did you get in??

 

**Opal:** what’s up big bro?

 

**Asami:** why??? It’s 4 am???

 

**Korra:** and we still don’t silence our phones huh?

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira…

 

**Kuvira:** Bataar Jr.

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira!

 

**Kuvira:** Bataar Jr

 

**Bataar Jr** : Kuvira!!

 

**Kuvira:** Bataar Jr.

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira!!!

 

**Kuvira:** Oh, excuse me.

**Kuvira:** Bataar  Jr

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira!!!!

 

**Kuvira:** That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.

 

**Opal:** it’s been 10 mins, bro, and all you said was my gf’s name

 

**Bataar Jr:** Opal 

 

**Opal:** oh don’t do it to me!

 

**Kuvira:** BaTaAr JuNiOr

 

**Bataar Jr:** KuViRa

 

**Bolin:** Mako

 

**Mako:** Korra

 

**Korra:** Asami 

 

**Asami:** Korra

 

**Korra:** Asami

 

**Asami:** Mako

 

**Mako:** Bolin

 

**Bolin:** Opal

 

**Opal:** Kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** Naga

 

**Bataar Jr:** Koo viii eeerrrrr raaaa!!

 

**Kuvira:** Butt tar June Ee Arr.

 

**Opal:** is this how you guys argue when you two were engaged??

 

**Kuvira:** No, not at all. I have no idea what he is doing, but I am having fun with it by going along.

 

**Bataar Jr:** KUVIRA

 

**Kuvira:** BATAAR JUNIOR

 

**Bolin:** as much as I am enjoying this, why are you in here bataar?

 

**Bataar Jr:** Confronting my ex…

 

**Kuvira:** You are doing great sweetie. 

**Kuvira:** Did I do that right, Opal?

 

**Opal:** I’m so proud of you babe

 

**Asami:** spirits bataar, please roast kuvira or something. This is getting boring 

 

**Korra** : out of all of us, kuvira has been roasted the least

 

**Bolin:** I can agree. Here’s a list going by most roast to least in our chat group.

**Bolin:** 1\. Mako

**Bolin:** 2\. Asami (although she might surpass Mako)

**Bolin:** 3\. Korra

**Bolin:** 4\. Me and Opal

**Bolin:** 5\. Kuvira

 

**Korra:** how did we go this long without roasting kuvira?

 

**Mako:** she legit done some crazy things, hence why she’s in prison, and we barely give her shit for it

**Mako:** no offense kuvira

 

**Kuvira:** None taken.

 

**Asami** : to be fair, I’m really the only one who always roast kuvira with her squishing my dad

 

**Kuvira:** Correct.

 

**Opal:** when we do roast her, it doesn’t have much effect

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira!

 

**Kuvira:** Spirits, what!? I’m waiting for you to say something!

 

**Bataar Jr:** How could you date my sister!?

 

**Opal:** this isn’t news….

 

**Kuvira:** I can and I am dating your sister. What’s your point?

 

**Bataar Jr:** She’s my sister!

 

**Kuvira:** And you’re her brother. Glad we cleared that up.

 

**Asami:** Hey mister!

 

**Korra:** She’s my sister.

 

**Mako:** Don’t pop my blister.

 

**Bolin:** Just play some twister!

 

**Opal:** LOL aaaaaayyyyyy shout out to auntie Lin!!

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira, I thought we had something. We had something special.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, you had plans and I knew how to execute them. You were the artist, I was the curator.

 

**Mako:** He was a boy, she was a girl.

 

**Asami:** Can I make it any more obvious?

 

**Korra:** They were in love.

 

**Opal:** Haven’t you heard?

 

**Bolin:** How they rock each other’s wooorld!!

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira, I just need to know if you truly do not hold romantic feelings for me anymore.

 

**Kuvira:** Shooting a spirit gun at you and your family and friends wasn’t enough?

**Kuvira:** Sorry about that, guys. 

 

**Korra:** it’s okay, we all alive in the end

 

**Asami:** u were so dramatic then

 

**Bolin:** dude, you know how she earthbends too? Sometimes, when boulders are thrown at her, she just shoved metal into the rock and breaks it instead of just moving the boulder.

 

**Mako:** That’s so extra 

 

**Opal:** tbh tho, if I could metalbend, I do the same too

 

**Korra:** oh hell yeah

 

**Mako:** me too

 

**Bolin:** me three

 

**Asami:** me four

 

**Bataar Jr:** So you really felt nothing for me.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, sorry, I was being too mean. I was just trying to be funny. When you’re in this chat after so long, it rubs off on you.

**Kuvira:** Bataar, I did love you. I really did. You are an amazing man and a great lover. 

**Kuvira:** Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

**Kuvira:** Everything happens for a reason.

**Kuvira:** Nobody’s perfect.

**Kuvira:** You got a friend in me.

**Kuvira:** Let it go.

**Kuvira:** What can I say except you’re welcome.

 

**Bolin:** are u just copy-pasting inspirational and catchy quotes and lyrics???

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, I’m not good at this whole talking to my ex-fiancé deal.

 

**Opal:** You’re doing great sweetie! <3

 

**Kuvira:** Thanks, I’m really trying. :)

 

**Bataar Jr:** No, you’re not….

 

**Kuvira:** You’re just a hater….

 

**Asami:** This is entertaining yet unsatisfying.

**Asami:** Bataar, roast her. Say something to make her scream in chat

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, Bataar, I’m waiting.

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira was abandoned by her parents.

 

**Kuvira:** Sad but true. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Opal:** yeah she’s mentioned that before

 

**Bolin:** old news 

 

**Bataar Jr:** She kicks dogs…?

 

**Kuvira:** That’s a lie, you were the one who kicked it.

 

**Bataar Jr:** It was on accident! I didn’t see it! It blended in with the rocks.

 

**Asami:** Booooring

 

**Korra:** bataar, isn’t there anything embarrassing about kuvira???

 

**Bataar Jr:** ...she sleeps with a teddy bear?

 

**Opal:** oh I know, I bought her a new one

 

**Kuvira:** *texts photo* 

**Kuvira:** Mr. Uniter always sleeps next to me.

 

**Mako:** you name your bear uniter??

 

**Kuvira:** **Mr. Uniter 

 

**Mako:** oh my bad 

 

**Bataar:** You threw away Mr. Waffles?

 

**Kuvira:** He got burnt up with spirit energy on accident.

 

**Bataar Jr:** Oh…

 

**Asami:** Bataar I’m kicking you out bc this is so boring and I’m falling asleep 

 

**Korra:** Sleep on top of me

 

**Asami:** okaaaay

 

**Opal:** gaaaaaaaayyyy

 

**Bataar Jr:** Kuvira, it really shocks me that you date my sister. Out of anyone who you could possible date, why my sister?

 

**Kuvira:** It pisses Suyin off and Opal is pretty darn cute.

 

**Opal:** Thaaanks~

 

**Kuvira:** <3

 

**Bataar Jr:** I really didn’t think you would have an interest in girls…

 

**Asami:** really?

 

**Korra:** she’s literally just an alter ego of me

 

**Bolin:** everyone isn’t perfectly straight

 

**Mako:** true true 

 

**Kuvira:** I had my fair share of interest in women but I was worried for being shamed for it. When Asami and Korra got into dating each other, and I saw that Opal had a thing for me, I came out. Simple as that.

 

**Baatar Jr:** So everything we did, it was all nothing to you?

 

**Kuvira:** Baatar, of course not. It did. However, after suffering a mental breakdown and being thrown in prison, I have come to terms of myself and my emotions. What I felt for you was real, but now I love Opal. 

 

**Asami:** Boooooring

 

**Bolin:** Can roast Kuvira or something…

 

**Opal:** Brother, you’re boring me to tears

 

**Baatar Jr:** ...Kuvira once had a thing for Suyin…

 

**Opal:** Lol what?

 

**Mako:** oh spirits….

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits this is better than my parent issues

 

**Korra:** Wow...that explains why you want to piss Suyin off by dating opal….

 

**Bolin:** Yessss it is getting good

 

**Kuvira:** Baatar, you swore you would never mention that to anyone!

**Kuvira:** I was a young girl and Suyin was the only one who cared for me after what my real parents did!

**Kuvira:** It was a tiny crush and I got over it within a week!

 

**Baatar Jr:** You said that you wished you were older so you could be Suyin’s wife.

 

**Kuvira:** I was stupid and emotionally traumatized! I took any kindness and turned it into something for granted because I was desperate and scared of losing people from my life at the time!

 

**Opal:** Oh, Kuvira. I’m so sorry. It’s okay. You must have been so emotionally sensitive to take on any form of love and accept it as your own.

 

**Asami:** I’m sorry, Kuvira. It’s understandable. Children can become desperate to attach onto anyone that shows them any form of affection after experiencing something so cruel.

 

**Korra:** This is making me cry. I’m so sorry, Kuvira.

 

**Baatar Jr:** You guys kept urging me to roast her!?

 

**Bolin:** Yeah but that was cold.

 

**Mako:** Stone cold.

 

**Baatar Jr:** Bolin?! You were the one who urged me along!

 

**Bolin:** Yeah but this was harsh after hearing Kuvira’s response. 

 

**Mako:** I’m going to talk to Lin and see if we can somehow get her out of prison. The woman has been through enough.

 

**Asami:** I’ll check to see if there’s any bail payment that I could pay off.

 

**Korra:** Sending love and thoughts to you, Kuvira.

 

**Opal:** I love you so much, Kuvira!

 

**Kuvira:** Thank you, everyone. This means so much.

 

**Baatar Jr:** Excuse me!? The victim of Kuvira’s actions is right here!

 

**Opal:** Yeah? So?

 

**Baatar Jr:** Don’t you think it’s wrong to do this in front of me? The one she almost killed??? The one who tore my family apart??

 

**Opal:** You literally just followed her out of the family. You’re the rip of the family quilt.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, you were kinda really clingy too. You kept holding my hands and all that.

 

**Baatar Jr:** Isn’t that what lovers do???

 

**Kuvira:** Sure?  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Baatar Jr:** WHAT THE FUC IS WRONG WITH U WOMAN OMG I HATE U SO MUCH U LITTLE TRAITOR I WILL KEEP U IN RISON JFHKSJFHKHIHKSSMLDSL

 

**Kuvira:** Oops...I broke him. My bad, Opal.

 

**Opal:** It’s hilarious, babe.

 

**Baatar Jr added Suyin to group chat “Wu, Ya Nasty”**

 

**Suyin:** …

 

**Opal:** Oh spirits, fuck me….

 

**Kuvira:** Okay. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Opal:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Suyin:** (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is ready for the craziest kaomoji battle ever???????
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	11. Kaomoji battle

**Bolin:** This is going to be the greatest emoji battle ever

 

**Kuvira:** *Kaomoji

 

**Bolin:** Just fight.

 

**Asami:** I have a meeting in the morning but I want to watch this.

 

**Mako:** Bolin, I got popcorn

 

**Bolin:** Nice!!

 

**Korra:** fight fight fight!

 

**Kuvira:** Greetings, Mrs. Suyin Beifong. How may I help you?

 

**Suyin: (┛॓_॔)┛ 彡┻━┻**

 

**Kuvira:** Put that damn table back! 

**Kuvira:** ξ(✿ ❛‿❛ )ξ▄︻┻┳═一

 

**Suyin: ┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)**

 

**Kuvira:** That’s what I thought.

 

**Suyin: ༼つಠ益ಠ༽つ ─=≡ΣO))**

 

**Opal:** Damn, mom…

**Opal: ( ಠ ◡ ಠ )**

 

**Kuvira:** ᗜ ಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::>

 

**Mako:** Is that a shield and sword?

 

**Asami:** I wanna see some blood ladies!

 

**Bolin:** This is the best late night convo, hands down.

 

**Suyin:** ઈ(@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅ❦@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅ)ૐ

 

**Korra:** Did she just break the chat???

 

**Kuvira:** (੭ु ‾᷄ᗣ‾᷅ )੭ु⁾⁾

 

**Suyin:** ↑_( ΦwΦ; )Ψ

 

**Kuvira:** ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ

 

**Suyin:** ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽⊃─炎炎炎炎炎炎炎炎

 

**Kuvira: (∩ᄑ_ᄑ)⊃*･｡*･:≡( ε:)**

 

**Bolin:** Is that throwing a small creature or something?

 

**Baatar Jr:** MOM?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TALK TO HER?

 

**Suyin: 工ｴｴｪｪ(( ⚆ _ ⚆ ))ｪｪｴｴ工**

 

**Kuvira: (￣□￣|||) ！**

 

**Asami:** This is way more entertaining 

 

**Baatar Jr:** Mom, can you stop sending emojis?

 

**Kuvira:** *Kaomoji

 

**Baatar Jr:** Fuck off….

 

**Kuvira:** You invited yourself and your mom in here!

 

**Suyin:** (╥⌒╥๑✿)

 

**Opal:** Mom, you do know how to text...right?

 

**Suyin:** (۶ꈨຶꎁꈨຶ )۶ ʸᵉᵃʰᵎ

 

**Mako:** That’s terrifying….

 

**Bolin:** Spirits……

 

**Suyin:** /╲/\╭ ( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°) ╮/\╱\

 

**Korra:** that….is even scarier 

 

**Asami:** this isn’t fun anymore.

 

**Kuvira: 凸(◕_◕✿)凸**

 

**Suyin:** DON’T YOU FUCKING RAISE THOSE FINGERS AT ME!

 

**Opal:** Aaaand it’s over….

 

**Kuvira: (ﾉ -益-)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻**

 

**Suyin:** Put that table back!

**Suyin: [ﾉಠೃಠ]︻̷┻̿═━一**

 

**Kuvira: (╯ಠ_ಠ）╯︵ ┳━┳**

**Kuvira: ╭∩╮(⋋‿⋌)**

 

**Mako:** that’s a dick

 

**Bolin:** that’s a fucking dick omg

 

**Kuvira:** It’s a middle finger!

**Kuvira:** ╰⋃╯

**Kuvira:** That’s a dick.

 

**Asami:** Wow, it looks exactly like Mako’s.

 

**Mako:** …..

 

**Suyin: (ꐦ °д°)**

 

**Kuvira:** ┌∩┐(⋟﹏⋞)┌∩┐

 

**Suyin:** Stop flipping me off, you ungrateful little shit.

 

**Kuvira:** Ouch.

**Kuvira:** This ungrateful little shit is dating your daughter.

 

**Opal:** Hi mom!

 

**Suyin:** I do not accept.

 

**Opal: ( ︶︿︶)╭∩╮**

**Opal:** I do what I want and I want what I do. Don’t stop me, stop me, fuck you.

 

**Suyin:** I miss those days when you dated Bolin.

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t know, Grandma Toph was pretty happy about Opal breaking it off with Bolin.

 

**Asami:** Spirits, my mom would smack me if I told her to fuck off.

 

**Yasuko:** (￣ε(#￣)☆╰o(￣▽￣///)

 

**Asami:** WTF MOM???

 

**Korra:** Was she in here the whole time? I thought she left!

 

**Opal:** DUUUUDEEEE im so glad she swung by

 

**Mako:** Is this chat glitched or something…..

 

**Suyin:** Opal, why couldn’t you date ANYONE but Kuvira?

 

**Kuvira: ( • )( • )ԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ)**

**Kuvira:** By the way, the person is Opal. I am the titties.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira does have some nice titties

 

**Bolin:** Are we going to ignore that Yasuko just fucking appeared out of nowhere?

 

**Suyin: (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻**

 

**Yasuko:** Stop throwing table-kun…

**Yasuko:** He’s already been through enough with Nina.

**Yasuko:** ┳━┳ノ( OωOノ )

 

**Asami:** Who the fuck is Nina?

 

**Yasuko:** Asami-chan! Language!

**Yasuko:** /╲/\╭ºoꍘoº╮/\╱\ 

 

**Asami:** um….that’s terrifying

 

**Korra:** oh shit

 

**Asami:** Korra kill it

 

**Korra:** im too scared

 

**Asami:** are you kidding me??

 

**Mako:** this was actually a question i had for a while. If both girls won’t kill the spider, who will?

 

**Kuvira:** （╯°□°）╯ミ /╲/( ͜。 ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。 ͜。)/\╱\ 

 

**Opal:** YAAAYYY

 

**Asami:** My hero!

 

**Korra:** Never thought I would hear Asami say that about Kuvira

 

**Asami:** me too….

 

**Baatar Jr:** WTF…..

 

**Suyin:** Kuvira, you better be treating my daughter right.

 

**Kuvira:** Of course I am. 

**Kuvira: ( ＾◡＾)っ (‿|‿)**

 

**Yasuko:** Asami- Chan!

**Yasuko:** /╲/\╭(ఠఠ益ఠఠ)╮/\╱\ 

 

**Asami:** STOP IT

 

**Bolin:** Can we focus on one mother problem at a time!!!!

 

**Baatar Jr:** I give up

 

**Mako:** THEN LEAVE

 

**Opal:** yeah pls leave, bro

 

**Korra:** you’re no fun

 

**Bolin:** please let yourself out 

 

**Yasuko:** Asami- Chan!

**Yasuko:** ( ◞≼◉ื≽◟ ;益;◞≼◉ื≽◟)Ψ 

 

**Asami:** STOP

**Asami:** IT

 

**Suyin:** Kuvira, Grandma Toph will never accept you as a part of the family.

 

**Toph:** ლ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ლ)

**Toph:** Nah, dawg, Vee Vee is prettay funnay

 

**Asami: ….**

 

**Korra: ….**

 

**Bolin: ….**

 

**Mako: …..**

 

**Opal:** Hi grandma!!!

 

**Baatar Jr:** Fuck…

 

**Kuvira: (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■)** AAAAYYYYY

  
**Mako:** IS EVERYONE JUST SOMEHOW JOINING THIS CHAT NOW WITHOUT US KNOWING?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Asami did say that group chat will always end badly in CH 1.....BUT DAMN YASUKO AHAHAHA
> 
> I hope one of you guys got the Nina and Table Kun reference....
> 
> UPDATE: I LEGIT FORGOT TOPH IS BLIND!!!!
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd.


	12. Glitchyator!

**Lin:** When people call the police, they call because it’s an emergency and someone’s life is in danger.

**Lin:** People don’t call the police for a glitched group chat.

**Lin:** I will admit that it’s strange that I am able to enter this chat when I didn’t admit myself in at all.

 

**Suyin:** Kuvira is dating my daughter and I hate that.

**Suyin:** And you’re family so you have to join in

 

**Lin:** No. Fuck you.

 

**Kya:** Aw, don’t be too rude to my future sister-in-law, Linnie Poo

 

**Bolin:** Yasuko fucking appeared in this chat.

 

**Mako:** people are just entering the chat as they please

 

**Korra:** It started with Baatar Jr so it’s his fault 

 

**Baatar Jr:** I don’t even know how I did it.

**Baatar Jr:** I just checked my phone and saw I was in the chat

 

**Asami:** Are we going to ignore what Kya just said about Lin?

 

**Opal:** Damn auntie Lin, am I getting a new auntie?

 

**Lin:** This ain’t about us. It’s about this stupid group chat…

 

**Kuvira:** I’m so happy for you, Opal.

 

**Opal:** The Beifong family is growing!

 

**Suyin:** Fuck no. I don’t want Kuvira in the family!

**Suyin:** You’re cool, Kya

 

**Kya:** YAY!

 

**Baatar Jr:** YASSS MOM YAASS

 

**Suyin:** …..wtf

 

**Opal:** no one says that bro. Please excommunicate yourself from the family

 

**Toph:** ditto

 

**Asami:** ....

**Asami:** Excuse me for a second

**Asami:** ISN’T TOPH FUCKING BLIND?

 

**Bolin:** Oh shit you’re right

 

**Mako:** I forgot

 

**Korra:** Toph, you can text? Can you ….’see’ what we are saying?

 

**Toph:** There’s this thing called speaking and the phone texts based on what I say. Otherwise known as audio. I’m not deaf, you idiots.

 

**Opal:** I say this a lot but  Grandma Toph definitely needs to stay on the chat

 

**Toph:** This is why you’re my favorite grandchild.

 

**Baatar Jr:** Wow

 

**Toph:** Fuck you, Baatar Jr. 

 

**Baatar Jr:** Why do you hate me so much??

 

**Toph:** You betrayed your family.

 

**Opal:** That is true…

 

**Baatar Jr:** OKAY BUT KUVIRA TRIED TO KILL US

 

**Toph:** Kuvira is all right in my book.

 

**Baatar Jr:** WHY?

 

**Toph:** she’s dating Opal and Opal is my favorite grandchild

 

**Kuvira:** HA! Fuck you, Baatar!

 

**Baatar Jr:** Fuck you, Kuvira!

 

**Toph:** So @Lin, when is the wedding? How much longer do I have to wait to get grandkids from you and the waterbender 

 

**Lin:** We just started dating.

 

**Kya:** It feels like I’ve known you forever. <3

 

**Asami:** Awwww

 

**Korra:** my heart!

 

**Mako:** didn’t chief dated Tenzin?

 

**Lin:** Yeah. What’s your point?

 

**Bolin:** don’t worry about him. Mako always points out the obvious 

 

**Toph:** Before I die, I would like to at least go to you and Kya’s wedding

 

**Kya:** Do we have your blessings!?

 

**Toph:** Yeah. 

 

**Lin:** You weren’t so accepting when I was dating Tenzin

 

**Toph:** He’s fucking bald.

 

**Kuvira:** What’s wrong with bald people?

 

**Toph:** Nothing, I just think Tenzin looks stupid as bald.

 

**Mako:** How...How?

 

**Bolin:** How do you see???

 

**Toph:** Echo-fucking-location.

 

**Lin:** Your...image of Tenzin must have been...interesting

 

**Asami:** Are you a bat??

 

**Toph:** Yeah, I am. Out of everyone I see, you’re a sight for sore eyes.

 

**Asami:** Awww thanks!

 

**Toph:** <3

 

**Korra:** A-are you flirting with Asami?

 

**Toph:** I’m just telling another woman that she is pretty. Is that a crime?

 

**Korra:** No…

 

**Lin:** Alright, this is getting way off topic.

**Lin:** Just make a new group chat and don’t ever call the police for this kind of thing again.

 

**Varrick:** I see my GLITCHYATOR works like a charm.

 

**Toph:** who the fuck are you?

 

**Baatar Jr:** Where did you come from?

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Mako:** ….

 

**Opal: …..**

 

**Kuvira: ….**

 

**Bolin:....**

 

**Korra:** oh. Should have known you caused the glitch.

 

**Asami:** Care to fucking explain?

 

**Varrick:** Sure thing, Asami. The GLITCHYATOR is a small device that plugs into phones and caused the chats and messages to glitch out.

 

**Suyin:** So...who’s phone did you hack?

 

**Varrick:** Asami’s.

 

**Asami:** ….

**Asami:** WHY?

 

**Varrick:** you have almost everyone’s number

 

**Asami:** WHY???

 

**Varrick:** bc it’s funny and cool, don’t yah think?

 

**Asami:** SO YOU ARE SAYING ALL THIS GLITCH AND SHIT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF MY PHONE?

 

**Varrick:** Yeah, keep up with me.

 

**Asami: …**

 

**Iroh II:** is that why I keep getting spammed with that weird nude picture drawing of Asami and I?

 

**Mako:** WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM????

 

**Iroh II:** Idk, i just checked my phone and saw i was in this chat

 

**Asami:** That’s it, I’m deleting this chat and making a new one

**Asami:** Varrick, why isn’t my phone letting me do that

**Asami:** Guys…..i can’t dismantle the chat

 

**Opal:** holy shit, she’s right. We’re stuck in here.

 

**Lin:** Fuck me…

 

**Kya:** Okay!

 

**Lin:** NOT WHAT I MEANT!

 

**Toph:** hurry up and make grand babies

 

**Lin:** WE ARE BOTH WOMEN, MOM. 

 

**Toph:** Use science or whatever.

 

**Asami:** Varrick, fix this!

 

**Varrick:** Nah

 

**Asami:** WHY?

 

**Varrick:** To get you back for almost breaking my hand.

 

**Asami:** THAT WAS MONTHS AGO!

 

**Varrick:** I hold grudges 

 

**Asami:** YOU DID ALL THIS FOR THAT ONE SMALL INCIDENT 

**Asami:** i didn’t even break your hand!!

 

**Varrick:** lolz

 

**Korra:** Varrick, can you please fix this?

 

**Varrick:** since you said please, sure. But i still will hold that grudge, Asami

 

**Asami:** please go politely fuck yourself 

 

**Varrick:** Jokes on you bc I already do

 

**Bolin:** I’m going to puke

 

**Opal:** I could have gone my whole life without knowing that

 

**Kuvira:** Dear spirits….

 

**Varrick dismantled group chat “Wu, ya nasty”**

 

XXX

 

**Bolin created group chat.**

**Bolin named group chat as “2.0”**

**Bolin added Opal, Kuvira, Mako, Korra, Toph, Lin, Suyin to group chat “2.0”.**

 

**Bolin:** Do you think it worked?

 

**Lin:** I did not asked to be added to this.

 

**Suyin:** No one asked you to be in here.

 

**Opal:** I wanted Grandma here, not my mom.

 

**Korra:** You forgot Asami…

 

**Bolin:** I did add her!

 

**Mako:** No you didn’t…

 

**Bolin:** I did!

 

**Bolin added Iroh II to group chat “2.0”**

 

**Mako:** what…

 

**Korra:** Bolin, this isn’t funny….

 

**Bolin:** I legit added Asami to the group chat!!!!

 

**Iroh II:** Hi?

 

**Opal added Kya to group chat “2.0”**

 

**Kya:** oooo thanks!

 

**Opal:** I’m fine with you here but I clicked Asami’s name…..

 

**Mako:** let me try

 

**Mako added Wu to group chat “2.0”**

 

**Wu:** OMS HAAAAAAAYYY

 

**Mako:** I swear I did not add you

 

**Korra:** okay, stop joking around and just add her

 

**Korra added Tenzin to group chat “2.0”**

 

**Korra:** shit what

 

**Kuvira:** Tenzin has a phone?

 

**Lin:** I’m surprised too, he’s so bad with them.

 

**Korra:** wait...so why is Asami unable to be added?

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Asami:** I AM SORRY, VARRICK. PLEASE

**Asami:** I AM SORRY

 

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

 

**Asami:** I AM SORRY THAT I ALMOST BROKE YOUR HAND

**Asami:** STOP SENDING ME THESE IMAGES

**Asami:** WHY ARE THEY THROWING UP IN A CUP?????

**Asami:** PLEASE STOP

 

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

**Varrick:** *Texts Photo*

 

**Asami:** VARRICK PLEASE IM SORRY

**Asami:** VARRIIICK PLEASE STOP HACKING MY PHONE

**Asami:** I SAID I AM SORRY

**Asami:** I NEED THIS PHONE FOR WORK!!!!

 

**Varrick:** For the next 24 hours, your phone will be subjugated to these images.

 

**Asami:** I SAID I AM SORRY FOR ALMOST BREAKING YOUR HAND

  
**Varrick:** lolz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else I should add for Group Chat “3.0”? Should I keep as it the original group (Mako, Bolin, Asami, Korra, Opal, and Kuvira) or should I widen it more?
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro-nerd


	13. Ginger Snap!

**Asami created group chat.**

**Asami named group chat as “3.0”**

**Asami added Korra, Opal, Mako, Bolin, Kya, Lin, Toph, and Kuvira to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Mako:** It doesn’t even been 24 hours, what happen?

 

**Opal:** Are you okay, Asami?

 

**Bolin:** it’s 3 in the morning, did Varrick get tired or something 

 

**Korra:** BABY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. ILL KILL VARRICK FOR YOU. I WILL AVENGE YOU MY LADY LOVE

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t think the Avatar should be killing people…

 

**Asami:** I missed you guys so much.

 

**Korra:** I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ASAMI

 

**Mako:** You know you could’ve just gone to her….

 

**Korra:** I’m in a cave right now

 

**Bolin:** That’s what you been doing for the past 12 hours???

 

**Korra:** I was helping some spirits out

**Korra:** BUT THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WORRIED FOR MY BABY CHEEKS

 

**Asami:** KORRA MY LADY LOVE, MY BIG SWOLL BABY CAKES, I MISSED YOU SO SO MUCH. IMMA NEED SO MUCH CUDDLES WHEN YOU RETURN FROM YOUR LITTLE MISSION

 

**Opal:** so what happen? Is your phone okay now?

 

**Asami:** yeah. Zhu Li found out what Varrick was doing and she made him do the thing and he fixed everything. She also took his phone away for a month

 

**Kuvira:** What’s the thing?

 

**Asami:** idk, something that straight couples do

 

**Opal:** no...i think it might be just them

 

**Mako:** what did he do to your phone?

 

**Asami:** he sent me video screenshots of an abomination that should have never been created in the first place

 

**Mako:** ??

 

**Asami:** for future references, if any of you guys need to vomit, please stay as far as you can from me

 

**Korra:** oh….

 

**Opal:** for 12 fucking hours???

 

**Kuvira:** How are you sane?

 

**Bolin:** maybe you should see a therapist, maybe the one Kuvira sees?

 

**Kuvira:** It’s Varrick, remember?

 

**Asami:** Why is he a therapist?

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t know, but he’s actually good at it.

 

**Asami:** ugh…

 

**Korra:** Here’s a treat for you.

**Korra:** [ https://youtu.be/luSB7CstoYo ](https://youtu.be/luSB7CstoYo)

*Author Note: Check that link out, it is real. Dancing Korra!*

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits, Korra!!

**Asami:** I didn’t know you could dance!

 

**Opal:** YAAAAAAAASSSS KORRAAAA

 

**Kuvira:** I thought you said no one says that.

 

**Opal:** Only when my brother says that.

 

**Mako:** Damn, Korra, you need to teach me how to do body rolls

 

**Korra:** it’s in the hips

 

**Toph:** Nice music choice.

 

**Korra:** thanks, what did you think about the dance?

 

**Toph:** well idk what a body roll looks like but ill take everyone’s word that it was good

 

**Korra:** oh….shit my bad….

 

**Kya:** YAAAAAASSSSS KORRRRAAA

 

**Mako:** huh, i thought you two would be asleep

 

**Toph:** I live in a swamp. I do what i want

 

**Kya:** I needed to get some water so here I am

 

**Bolin:** toph, how do you charge your phone?

 

**Toph:** magic

 

**Bolin:** Really?

 

**Toph:** no. I use a solar powered battery pack

 

**Mako:** wow damn

 

**Opal:** I’m so glad you’re in the group chat, grandma 

 

**Toph:** of course my favorite grandchild

 

**Kuvira:** Why do you not like Suyin’s other children?

 

**Toph:** Baatar is self explanatory. The twins are little shits and the emo kid never talks to me anyways.

 

**Opal:** Huan never causes you trouble though, you have to admit

 

**Toph:** True, so he’s my second favorite 

 

**Bolin:** How does Suyin feel about Toph and Lin getting to be in this new group chat

 

**Opal:** idk. I just texted my mom about it

 

**Mako:** at 3 in the morning?

 

**Opal:** yep

 

**Mako:** How does your mom handle you?

 

**Opal:** I’m her only daughter.

 

**Mako:** So?

 

**Opal:** Only a mother with one girl and four boys will understand 

 

**Kuvira:** I was kinda a daughter figure…

 

**Lin:** Can you all shut the fuck up in this chat? It is 3am.

**Lin:** And Kya, can you come back to bed?

 

**Kya:** be there soooooon

 

**Opal:** Imma get a new auntie soon.

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** GUYS I HAVE A PROBLEM

**Bolin:** Do you guys remembered Ginger?

 

**Opal:** nope

 

**Mako:** nada

 

**Korra:** what?

 

**Kuvira:** Who?

 

**Asami:** Is that the actress you acted with in that movie?

 

**Toph:** Oh that skank

 

**Opal:** How did you meet this Ginger?

 

**Toph:** I didn’t. I hated her movies. Hate her voice

 

**Asami:** She still makes movies?

**Asami:** the last time I remember seeing her was at the wedding of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Zhu Li

 

**Bolin:** yeah her! Well, she hmu again and things seem to rekindle

 

**Asami:** no offense bolin but she’s one of those type of girls that are never clear and constantly switch on and off

 

**Mako:** plus if she’s an actress, she’s prolly just using you 

 

**Bolin:** For what? Money? I live with you, Mako

 

**Mako:** I meant….you know

 

**Opal:** this Ginger just wants your D, Bolin

 

**Mako:** oh, so he gets D and I get d?

 

**Asami:** Yeah, get over it.

**Asami:** anyways, bolin, you are free to date whoever you want but I would be careful around this Ginger

**Asami:** if I remember correctly, she really establish a line between reality and fiction

**Asami:** even tho she blurs it

 

**Korra:** You sure know a lot about this Ginger girl

 

**Asami:** I felt threatened by her when I first met her.

**Asami:** As a bottom femme, it is one of my gay traits to analyze my other fellow femme fatales. Gay or not

 

**Mako:** so you think you’re a femme fatale?

 

**Asami:** duh, look at me

**Asami:** *texts photo*

**Asami:** Look at that selfie

**Asami:** You dated me bc i was pretty

 

**Mako:** y-yeah

 

**Korra:** I’m just going to save that, thank you

 

**Opal:** I’m choking at ‘bottom femme’

 

**Korra:** ;)

 

**Asami:** would you like me to say femme uke?

 

**Opal:** oh god stop im dying

 

**Kuvira:** Please stop, I’m serious.

 

**Asami:** Korra is my soft butch top

 

**Kuvira:** Stop.

 

**Asami:** Why? I’m not labeling you

 

**Kuvira:** I really don’t need to know who is a top or a bottom in this chat.

 

**Asami:** What are you?

 

**Kuvira:** No comment. 

 

**Opal:** She’s a top.

 

**Kuvira:** Opal…

 

**Opal:** Sorry, excuse me.

**Opal:** **Alpha

 

**Asami:** I see you two read a lot of those Omegaverse smut 

 

**Kuvira:** Do you have a problem with that?

 

**Korra:** there’s nothing wrong with it

**Korra:** come to think of it, you’re still in prison right?

 

**Kuvira:** Yep.

 

**Asami:** Oh shit, my bad. I forgot to pay off the bail payment.

 

**Kuvira:** it’s fine. Lin says I can get out next week

 

**Asami:** Aw yay!

 

**Opal:** I must say, you and Kuvira’s relationship has improved so much.

**Opal:** just like naruto and sasuke in the end of the series 

 

**Asami:** fuck you

 

**Mako:** Bolin, what was the problem with you and Ginger?

**Mako:** Sorry for changing the subject.

 

**Bolin:** Can I add her to the chat? She wants to join

 

**Asami:** Fuck no.

 

**Korra:** idc

 

**Opal:** sure

 

**Kuvira:** Go ahead

 

**Mako:** yeah

 

**Toph:** I wanna see what she wants with you of all people

 

**Lin:** Go ahead, it is your choice.

 

**Kya:** I wanna see if Asami and this Ginger will bitch fight

 

**Asami:** Okay wow, you guys.

**Asami:** We just got out of a glitchy chat and now we are adding someone we barely know?

 

**Korra:** Bolin is literally the only one that is single (except Toph bc she don’t need no man). Lets just support him by checking out who this Ginger is

 

**Toph:** Fuck yeah, Korra.

 

**Mako:** Worse comes to worse, we will kick her out.

 

**Asami:** Fine but I already have a bad feeling about her

 

**Bolin added Ginger to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Ginger:** Hello all of Bolin’s friends

**Ginger:** Hello Asami~

 

**Asami:** Why did you call me out?

 

**Kuvira:** Hi Ginger

 

**Opal:** Hiyah

 

**Mako:** sup

 

**Korra:** Hello

 

**Lin:** Yo.

 

**Toph:** I hate your movies.

 

**Kya:** Fight Asami please.

 

**Bolin:** Ginger, welcome to the chat

 

**Ginger:** It is nice meeting you all

**Ginger:** Especially you, Asami

 

**Asami:** Excuse me?

 

**Korra:** So Ginger, what made you contact Bolin again?

 

**Ginger:** he’s a decent kisser

 

**Bolin:** Aw shucks

 

**Ginger:** but there’s something else better from him

**Ginger:** *glances at Asami*

 

**Asami:** Is no one going to comment on this?

**Asami:** she just spelled that out

 

**Korra:** I think you and Asami would be great friends! :)

 

**Ginger:** I think so too ;)

 

**Mako:** So is kissing all you like from my brother?

 

**Ginger:** He’s a sweet guy and I felt like I didn’t give him enough of a chance 

**Ginger:** After all, he has some good looking friends

**Ginger:** @Asami

 

**Mako:** Aw thanks!

 

**Korra:** Awwwww

 

**Opal:** You’re making me blush

 

**Kuvira:** What an honor to be called good looking from you.

 

**Lin:** Thank you.

 

**Toph:** Your movies still sucks but thanks

 

**Kya:** You and Asami should bitch fight

 

**Asami:** Why did you @ me???

 

**Opal:** You kinda are the hottest one of the group

 

**Korra:** She wants to be your friend, Asami

 

**Asami:** … um?

 

**Ginger:** Yeah, Asami, I think we would be great friends ;)

 

**Asami:** Stop winking at me.

 

**Opal:** She just wants to be friends with you, Asami

 

**Asami:** no she doesn't

 

**Ginger:** I do. ;)

 

**Bolin:** GUYS We should go on a fivesome couple date!

**Bolin:** You can come along too, Toph

 

**Toph:** I’ll pass

 

**Kya:** Can...we go to a wrestling match and see if Asami and Ginger will fight?

 

**Lin:** I don’t do group dates

 

**Bolin:** come onnnn Lin

 

**Mako:** lets check out a restaurant!

 

**Kuvira:** Lin, will you let me out for a bit for this date?

 

**Lin:** Sure. Whatever.

 

**Korra:** So it’s official?

 

**Opal:** Hell yah!

 

**Ginger:** Let’s go to the Dragon Palace by Eastern Hill.

 

**Toph:** That is high end shit right there damn okay

**Toph:** I’m coming

 

**Ginger:** Good the more the merrier, my treat!

**Ginger:** I hope you will come, Asami~

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Korra:** Come on, babe, it’ll be fun

 

**Asami:** Do you not see this???

 

**Korra:** see what?

 

**Bolin:** Ginger just wants to be friends with you.

 

**Mako:** You two look like you have a lot in common.

 

**Asami:** Just to be clear, Ginger, I am taken.

 

**Ginger:** More the merrier ;)

 

**Asami:** NO ONE SEES THIS???

 

**Kuvira:** All I see is Ginger wanting to be friends with you.

 

**Ginger:** More than friends ;)

 

**Mako:** She wants to be best friends with you

 

**Ginger:** I’ll treat you well

 

**Korra:** What a nice girl :)

 

**Asami:** Please stop

 

**Bolin:** Fun Fact, Ginger, Asami prides herself as a bottom femme

 

**Asami:** Bolin...stfu

 

**Ginger:** Oh? I pride myself as a femme top

 

**Opal:** Oh girl I know. Bolin is such a power bottom

 

**Mako:** You two are perfect for each other.

 

**Ginger:** Yeah, I guess we are.

**Ginger:** I think Asami and I would make a powerhouse femme duo

 

**Asami:** I’m good, thanks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, this is not going to turn into Ginger x Asami. Korrasami is OTP but I still like to perform more fuckery on this shitpost of a fanfiction. For once, Asami isn’t attacked. She’s...loved. 
> 
> Spoiler for next chapter: Asami without makeup is still a goddess.


	14. Back off Ginger

**In a private message:**

 

**Ginger:** Hey Asami

**Ginger:** What are you wearing to dinner tonight? ;)

 

**Asami:** can you stop with the winking?

 

**Ginger:** I have no idea what you are talking about ;)

 

**Asami:** You just did it again…

 

**Ginger:** So what are you wearing to the dinner?

**Ginger:** Going to show some skin?

**Ginger:** ;)))

 

**Asami:** No, the opposite

**Asami:** An entire watertribe outfit for the blistering cold

 

**Ginger:** makes sense, the evenings can be a bit chilly for 80 degree weather.

**Ginger:** I’ll lend you my coat~

 

**Asami:** I am good, gal pal.

**Asami:** Just gal pals being plain and non-sexual gal pals.

 

**Ginger:** Why, of course~

**Ginger:** Although many gal pals like to blur the line

**Ginger:** just an offer

 

**Asami:** No, sorry. I’m a perfectly Korrasexual woman.

 

**Ginger:** So is Korra the only one you officially hit it with?

 

**Asami:** Yeah...

 

**Ginger:** Asami, you’re young

**Ginger:** You should do more daring things ;)

 

**Asami:** I am good, gal person.

 

**Ginger:** Suit yourself~ I’ll make you change your mind.

**Ginger:** We should sit next to each other at dinner and I can give you a personal show of my private collection of jewelry

**Ginger:** I have some secret piercings ;)

 

**Asami:** Nope, I’m good. Taken and very good.

 

**Ginger:** Just give it a chance, Asami-Chu

 

**Asami:** Please do not ever call me that.

 

**Ginger:** You’re right.

**Ginger:** I’ll call you Asachu

 

**Asami:** No...that’s worse

 

**Ginger:** what kind of makeup are you going to wear?

**Ginger:** I know you like lipstick so maybe you should share with me ;)

 

**Asami:** oh….I wasn’t planning to wear makeup

 

**Ginger:** ooo au naturel? ;)

 

**Asami:** NO!

 

**Ginger:** nude lipstick would look great on you

**Ginger:** If you know what I mean ;))

 

**Asami:** …

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Korra:** So how is talking to Ginger?

 

**Asami:** Do we really have to go to this group date?

**Asami:** why are you making me talk to her?

 

**Korra:** I think you two would be very great friends

 

**Asami:** Korra

**Asami:** she is flirting with me

**Asami:** Me. Your gf

 

**Korra:** Really?

**Korra:** Base on the group chat, it doesn’t look like it.

 

**Asami:** *Texts photo*

**Asami:** *Texts photo*

**Asami:** Read those screenshots of the conversation we just had.

 

**Korra:** they look normal to me

 

**Asami:** sigh

**Asami:** Can you bring the heaviest and thickest water tribe clothing when you come here?

 

**Korra:** Asami, it’s going to be 80 degrees

 

**Asami:** Do it or no sex for a month

 

**Korra:** Yes ma’am 

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”:**

 

**Opal:** @Mako, have you ever seen Asami’s face without makeup when you two dated?

 

**Mako:** Never. It’s quite a contrasting difference

 

**Opal:** It is yet she still looks gorgeous 

**Opal:** sooo not fair

 

**Lin:** We are eating dinner, can you guys not text? It’s rude.

 

**Kya:** Honey, you have to admit that Asami looks so different without her makeup

**Kya:** Her face looks like it was blessed and carved by the Fire Goddesses 

 

**Opal:** I am still so convinced that she uses lip fillers

 

**Kya:** Girl, i have seen what lip fillers do but Asami’s lips are au naturel

 

**Opal:** fucking unfair she gets to be this gorgeous 

 

**Kuvira:** Is it just me or is Asami sweating in that outfit?

 

**Mako:** she’s sweating like a pig, tbh

 

**Opal:** I would too if I wore that many layers

**Opal:** what is she thinking? It’s like 80 degrees on a summer evening 

 

**Kya:** she seems nervous

 

**Lin:** I would be nervous too if Ginger kept looking at me like I was a snack.

 

**Kya:** ??

 

**Mako:** ??

 

**Opal:** huh?

 

**Kuvira:** Hmm?

 

**Lin:** Have you guys not seen it?

**Lin:** Ginger has been flirting with Asami since Bolin added her to the chat.

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Opal:** Huh?

 

**Kuvira:** No. Fucking. Way?

 

**Kya:** Oh that’s why I want Asami and Ginger to fight. I wanna see who’s the Alpha femme gay.

 

**Bolin:** WAIT WHAT HUH???

**Bolin:** WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

 

**Lin:** Are you guys serious?

 

**Toph:** It was obvious.

 

**Opal:** Grandma, I can see you texting. How are you doing that?

 

**Toph:** Braille keyboard

 

**Mako:** Wow.

 

**Bolin:** Toph, Lin, you didn’t bother to tell me or any of us!??

 

**Toph:** I wanted free food.

 

**Lin:** I don’t care but I listen to Kya and she wanted to go on this double date.

 

**Kuvira:** Opal, twenty bucks that Lin is a bottom.

 

**Opal:** Thirty for Kya.

 

**Kya:** No, Lin’s a top

 

**Kuvira:** Damn it.

 

**Bolin:** Ok, wait. Are you guys just joking with me about Ginger???

 

**Lin:** I’m a Chief of Police. I knew Ginger was using you the moment you said she wanted to join the chat.

 

**Toph:** She’s a skank. I knew that from the start.

 

**Bolin:** You’re kidding me.

 

**Opal:** Wait, Bolin. Please don’t cry.

**Opal:** ok too late…

 

**Mako:** I’ll go talk to him.

**Mako:** Keep Wu company

 

**Kuvira:** I’m more concern about Asami. She looks like she’s going to pass out…

**Kuvira:** @Korra, get Asami out of there.

 

**Korra:** You sure? I think Ginger can do it since she offered.

 

**Kuvira:** No, Korra. Don’t let Ginger be alone with Asami.

 

**Kya:** Read the rest of the chat. ^^^

 

**Opal:** Spirits, Asami is almost about to rip Korra’s sleeve.

 

**Kuvira:** Either Ginger has perfect timing or she was on to us bc now Korra isn’t looking at her phone.

 

**Toph:** Ah the classic ‘girls go to the bathroom’ card. Asami is screwed if Korra doesn’t figure it out or look at the chat

 

**Lin:** Or you guys can stop looking at your phones and just say something? And mom, can you take your headphones out?

 

**Toph:** No, I don’t want to hear that skank’s voice

 

**Opal:** Kuvira, why did you not finish your sentence…?

 

**Kuvira:** I was going to say something but Ginger gave me a death glare.

 

**Lin:** You conquered almost the entire Earth Kingdom, almost killed us, imprisoned ‘criminals’ in ‘camps’, and was known as the Great fucking Uniter. You can’t speak against a fucking actress?

 

**Kuvira:** I have a weakness for femme fatales.

 

**Opal:** Me too, babe.

 

**Lin:** Are you fucking kidding me?

 

**Kuvira:** Why didn’t you do it?

 

**Lin:** I also have a weakness for femme fatales.

 

**Kya:** I mean, look at me~

 

**Mako:** WOW, YOU ARE ALL USELESS

 

**Bolin:** I’m over Ginger now. This is hilarious.

 

**Korra:** Hey, what’s the ruckus about?

 

**Lin:** The award for dumbest bisexual goes to Korra.

 

**Korra:** What?

**Korra:** Rude.

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Ginger:** Asachu? Where did yah go?

**Ginger:** Did you leave the bathroom? I didn’t even see you leave?

**Ginger:** Asaaaaachu, where are you?

**Ginger:** are you outside?

**Ginger:** Come on cutie, where are you?

**Ginger:** Asaaaachu

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”:**

 

**Korra:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IMMA TELL GINGER A PIECE OF MY MIND FOR TRYING TO HAVE CAHOOTS WITH MY GIRL

 

**Kuvira:** You, of all of us, should have realized it first.

 

**Opal:** Says the one who couldn’t say anything because the femme fatale looked at them

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, point taken.

 

**Korra:** @Ginger @Ginger @Ginger @Ginger

 

**Mako:** KORRA JUST STOP TEXTING AND GET UP AND FIND THEM

 

**Asami removed Ginger from group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** Someone fucking save me!

 

**Korra:** Where are you

 

**Asami:** I’m hiding in the janitor’s closet.

 

**Mako:** Why can’t we just have a nice and normal event?

 

**Opal:** Asami, you can fight. Just beat her up.

 

**Asami:** I think she would like that….

 

**Lin:** The CEO of Future Industries beating up a C-Rank Actress over one sided love won’t look well in the newspaper.

 

**Kya:** makes for a decent movie plot

 

**Bolin:** Asami, where is the janitor’s closet?

 

**Asami:** shit idk….

 

**Kuvira:** Just peek out and see.

 

**Asami:** She’s hovering near my area, I can see her hair.

 

**Toph:** This would make a very good horror movie.

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Ginger:** I see you.

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”:**

 

**Lin:** You, former Team Avatar, are all useless adults.

**Lin:** You guys saved the world like four times but can’t deal with this?

 

**Mako:** But we DID save the world like four times and that is what matters.

 

**Bolin:** Totally.

 

**Opal:** You got over Ginger really fast, Bolin.

 

**Bolin:** Seeing Asami confront Ginger about her flirting with her made my day

 

**Kuvira:** Either she’s a good actress or she’s a liar.

 

**Kya:** Oh, she’s lying. She’s so gay for Asami.

**Kya:** She just wants to be the Alpha femme gay.

 

**Lin:** I’m not ignoring the fact that Korra literally tackled her.

 

**Mako:** That was hilarious.

 

**Toph:** So is that redhead girl gay or not? I’m confused. She said she’s straight.

 

**Kya:** If someone has to say they are straight, they are most likely gay. The most secretly in the closet gays are the ones that flaunt it but deny it.

 

**Opal:** I would watch a movie where the seemingly straight girl denies her sexuality, even a bit homophobic at times, but is always flaunting it and then finally comes to terms with her sexuality.

 

**Kuvira:** Ginger would easily become an A-Rank celebrity.

 

**Asami:** Where are you guys?

 

**Mako:** Bolin and I are at home now.

 

**Kuvira:** Back in my cell.

 

**Opal:** Home.

 

**Lin:** Kya and I are home

 

**Toph:** In my swamp.

 

**Asami:** You guys left that quickly?

 

**Lin:** No one wants to join your weird love triangle.

 

**Asami:** Well, you’re welcome. I had to pay the bill.

 

**Kuvira:** Well, that’s assumed since you denied Ginger.

 

**Asami:** Actually, she ran off with some A-Rank director.

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Opal:** Is it a female?

 

**Asami:** She locked eyes with this woman who was an A-Rank director and then they ran off

 

**Kya:** I knew it, she is gay

 

**Lin:** I am never doing these stupid group dates with you guys again.

 

**Korra:** @Mako

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Asami:** You left Wu here.

 

**Mako:** Oh fuck...

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People interpret certain texts in different ways, hence why there is so much miscommunication.
> 
> OR
> 
> Korra is bad at reading the mood. Kuvira and Lin are wusses in front of beautiful women. Everyone is just useless and likes to watch the fuckery happen. Asami needs a vacation for all the bullshit (I put her through) she goes through.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	15. Booty Booty Booty rocking everywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t apologize at how inappropriate this chapter will get. Everyone loves booty.

**Lin:** @Kuvira

**Lin:** Normally, when someone is released from prison, they usually don’t come back. If they do, it usually takes, at minimum, a month for them to get sent back to prison.

**Lin:** Never, in my entire career, have I seen someone go back to prison as quickly as you.

**Lin:** Six hours, Kuvira. You were free for six hours.

**Lin:** How the actual fuck did you get sent back to prison in six hours?

 

**Kuvira:** My life was in danger and prison was my only sanctuary.

 

**Lin:** So you kidnap a fucking child to get sent back to prison?

 

**Kuvira:** Suyin was trying to murder me in broad daylight, but go off on me. I guess...

**Kuvira:** Opal and I took care of the kid and the parents were honestly chill about it. They even asked if I could babysit him in the future.

**Kuvira:** I honestly just had to wait until Mako ‘reported’ me and send me in.

**Kuvira:** Thanks for that Mako, I owe you.

 

**Mako:** I got you.

 

**Lin:** Mako…

**Lin:** Why do you work for me?

 

**Mako:** I’m not bad at my job but I can say I’m pretty decent.

 

**Bolin:** Suyin really was going to kill Kuvira. You should have seen it.

 

**Lin:** Kuvira, you can’t fight her back?

 

**Kuvira:** Must violence always be the solution?

 

**Lin:** Can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss the old Kuvira that would take on the Avatar so she didn’t waste her soldier’s time.

 

**Opal:** If you weren’t so busy eating Kya’s booty, then you could have stopped my mom.

 

**Kya:** What can I say? Lin loves my booty. ;)

 

**Lin:** I was not doing any of that, I was doing my fucking job of filling out paperwork that you all have caused in the recent events.

**Lin:** Also, why the fuck are you in prison? @Opal

 

**Opal:** I’ve always wanted to be a prison wife.

**Opal:** And I wasn’t going to leave Kuvira all alone in prison while my mom rampages outside.

 

**Toph:** This is the most hilarious family drama I have ever seen. 

**Toph:** Yes. I know. I’m blind.

 

**Lin:** You’re not helping mom…

**Lin:** @Asami @Korra

**Lin:** How fucking convenient that you two left on a vacation three hours before Kuvira sent herself back to prison?

 

**Asami:** When I saw Suyin build that humanoid metal creature, it reminded me that I have always wanted to go to the spirit world.

 

**Korra:** It’s the perfect place for our first vacation.

 

**Lin:** HOW?

 

**Asami:** It just did, okay??

 

**Lin:** Okay no...that makes no sense

 

**Asami:** I don’t need to explain it to you.

 

**Lin:** Yes. You do. 

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Lin:** Asami, Kuvira is back in jail after kidnapping a child.

 

**Kuvira:** The kid is fine.

 

**Lin:** My sister is raging among Republic City

 

**Toph:** She might have gotten that anger issues from her father.

 

**Lin:** I have phone calls ringing through the office and Mako and Bolin aren’t here!

 

**Mako:** Bolin and I are eatin dah noodles.

 

**Lin:** And you force the Avatar to take you on a fucking vacation right when I need her during a time of possible crisis?

 

**Korra:** It’s not forced if I agreed and encourage it.

 

**Lin:** Of all the fucking times you could possibly want a vacation, it had to be now??

 

**Asami:** Maybe, Lin. Just maybe….

**Asami:** I am sick and tired of people in general. No offense everyone.

**Asami:** there is a nude drawing of me and iroh II that is constantly being brought up to my vision

**Asami:** I get called Sasuke whenever i get mad

**Asami:** my dad knows i like being spanked 

**Asami:** i have had my nose broken during a stupid stakeout

**Asami:** Varrick fucking forced me to see clips of two girls throwing up in a cup in some sick abomination 

**Asami:** my own mother likes to fuck around with my life by making fun of me.

 

**Yasuko:** With love of course <3

 

**Mako:** shit i guess the dead can really do whatever they want now...

 

**Asami:** i was almost molested by some C-Rank actress with ginger dyed hair

**Asami:** Maybe Lin, just fucking maybe...

**Asami:** I just wanted to get away from all the bullshit for once and just get my ass eaten out in the spirit world and have crazy sex like animals do on the nature documentaries

**Asami:** What do you fucking think Lin???

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHA OMS ASAMI STOP AAAAHHHH

 

**Kya:** YOU GO GIRL

 

**Korra:** Spirits I love it when she gets sassy

 

**Mako:** I’m dying oh my spirits im choking

 

**Bolin:** Asami deserves this tbh, shes been through so much bullshit from us and the world

 

**Kuvira:** She’s a true femme bottom.

 

**Toph:** This is why Asami is my favorite non-bender.

 

**Lin:** I fucking hate all of you guys.

 

**Lin left group chat “3.0”**

**Kya added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

**Lin left group chat “3.0”**

**Kya added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** Stop, I don’t wanna be here.

 

**Lin left group chat “3.0”**

**Kya added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** Honey, please stop.

 

**Kya:** Nope <3

 

**Lin left group chat “3.0”**

**Kya added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** Please.

 

**Kya:** Nope <3

 

**Lin left group chat “3.0”**

**Asami added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** You will suffer what I have suffered you son of a bitch.

 

**Lin:** Fuck you.

 

**Asami:** Is that a threat or an invitation you sour old lady?

 

**Kya:** Oh shiiiiiiiiiit

**Kya:** Kill’em oh kill’em Asami

 

**Lin:** A threat.

 

**Asami secured Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Kya:** Oooooo she just did that!!

 

**Lin:** What the fuck did you just do?

 

**Asami:** You can not leave this damn chat anymore, Lin Bei-fucking-Fong.

 

**Kuvira:** That’s a thing?

 

**Asami:** Did you guys think I wouldn’t get my revenge on Varrick and force him to teach me some secrets about group chats?

 

**Asami made Asami ‘Admin’ of group chat “3.0”**

 

**Mako:** did….Asami just take the entire control of the chat?

 

**Bolin:** aw man this is great, i love this new asami

 

**Opal:** Why is this turning me on?

 

**Kuvira:** You have a thing for women in power.

 

**Opal:** explains why I’m attracted to you. <3

 

**Kuvira:** <3

 

**Korra:** I get to eat that powerful woman’s booty out later.

 

**Asami:** You sure will and I will enjoy it, my lovable baby cheeks.

 

**Mako:** when did we get so close that we now know who eats whose booty?

 

**Kuvira:** You all somehow dated each other and remained as friends. That’s why.

 

**Bolin:** idk what happen to old asami but new Asami is a great upgrade.

 

**Kya:** Gay power rules us all.

**Kya:** and then there’s bolin, our straight ally

 

**Bolin:** No one hurts my gay babies.

 

**Lin:** I want to send all of you guys in jail.

 

**Korra:** That’s abusing police power.

 

**Lin:** Fuck.

 

**Asami:** Now, if you all don’t mind. Korra and I are going to be mia on our vacation so have fun dealing with Suyin. Toodles~

 

**Korra:** Daddy is getting laid tonight ;)

 

**Asami added Suyin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** oh my fucking spirits….

 

**Suyin:** sup bitches, I’m still here

 

**Kuvira:** Can you, like, not kill me? Thanks.

**Kuvira:** :)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it feels a bit shorter than usual but Asami deserves to be the one to have all the power. I put her through so much shit.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	16. Everyone hates Suyin

**Lin:** I am ashamed to be your sister.

 

**Suyin:** That makes two of us.

 

**Lin:** Can you not destroy half of Republic City with your rampaging?

 

**Suyin:** I stopped, didn’t I?

 

**Kuvira:** Only because I’m in prison.

 

**Lin:** You’re not in prison anymore, you have officially been released. You’re wasting taxpayer’s money now!

 

**Suyin:** I’ll pay for her to stay in there for the rest of her damn life.

**Suyin:** Except you, Opal. You come out.

 

**Opal:** Nah, I’m good. The other prisoners are arranging a dinner date for Kuvira and I.

 

**Bolin:** Is Wan Shan there!??? He’s sooooo good at making dumplings 

 

**Opal:** HE IS! He’s so sweet and such a good cook.

 

**Mako:** Is he the one who robbed a house at 4 am on the hills?

 

**Bolin:** Yeah! He made us tempura after.

 

**Mako:** Dude, that guy is great!

 

**Lin:** Can you guys not?

 

**Suyin:** Opal, you’re leaving that prison.

 

**Opal:** Nah, I’m good.

 

**Suyin:** OPAL

 

**Opal:** Nope

 

**Lin:** Both of you guys will come out!!!!

 

**Suyin:** No, we are leaving Kuvira in.

 

**Lin:** We are not. Kuvira has been released.

 

**Suyin:** WHY?

 

**Lin:** She’s actually the most stable person in this idiot group. She has shown great improvement on her mentality. Korra vouches for her. Asami paid her bail. Kuvira is more than free to leave.

 

**Kuvira:** I would like to leave without someone trying to kill me.

 

**Suyin:** YOU STAY IN THERE

 

**Opal:** NEEEEOOOOOPPPPEE

 

**Suyin:** Spirits, Opal you can’t date a criminal.

 

**Opal:** But mama I'm in love with a criminal

**Opal:** And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical   
**Opal:** Mama please don't cry, I will be alright   
**Opal:** All reason aside I just can't deny, I love the gal.

 

**Suyin:** What?

 

**Bolin:** Did you just used song lyrics?

 

**Mako:** spirits, i love family drama.

 

**Kuvira:** Am I part of the family now?

 

**Toph:** YES

 

**Lin:** technically if you marry opal

 

**Suyin:** FUCK NO

 

**Kuvira:** I got a ⅔ of the Beifong votes.

 

**Suyin:** There’s more of us who do not agree!

 

**Toph:** Um, I’m still the matriarch of the family so fuck you.

 

**Suyin:** You live in a swamp and you barely visit us.

 

**Toph:** I’m still alive.

 

**Lin:** She’s not wrong.

 

**Suyin:** You’re not helping 

 

**Lin:** You were a criminal once!

 

**Suyin:** I was a teenager!

 

**Lin:** STILL

**Lin:** I STILL HAVE TWO SCARS ON MY DAMN FACE

 

**Kya:** Sexy af tho

 

**Suyin:** You were the one who used force on me.

 

**Lin:** You tried to walk away from the scene of a crime.

 

**Suyin:** No one died.

 

**Lin:** Robbery is a crime.

 

**Suyin:** You’re not wrong.

 

**Lin:** Then stop being a hypocrite!

**Lin:** Who cares if Opal dates Kuvira?

**Lin:** At least Kuvira owns up to what she did!

**Lin:** Unlike you!

 

**Suyin:** I did own up to it! Mom and I reconciled it but you were too bitter to come to the family reunion!

 

**Lin:** Spirits, I thought we got over this.

 

**Suyin:** Apparently not, you brought it up!

 

**Toph:** You did kinda brought it up, Lin.

 

**Lin:** This is why no one likes you, Suyin.

 

**Suyin:** Excuse me?

 

**Lin:** No.

**Lin:** One.

**Lin:** Likes.

**Lin:** You.

 

**Suyin:** Says the bitter lonely woman.

 

**Kya:** Just like how I like my coffee.

 

**Lin:** At least, Kya has my back…

**Lin:** What happen to the rest of you guys?

 

**Opal:** Watching my family tear itself apart and dinner.

 

**Kuvira:** Eating some damn good dumplings.

 

**Mako:** Watching your family fight.

 

**Bolin:** Ditto

 

**Asami:** Getting fucked.

 

**Lin:** You’re still here?

 

**Asami:** I never left. I own this chat.

 

**Opal:** What are you and Korra doing?

 

**Asami:** Korra is fucking me as we watch this chat blow up.

 

**Opal:** Nice~

 

**Suyin:** Is this really the Avatar Team that saved my family?

 

**Mako:** One and only.

 

**Bolin:** You won’t get anyone else but us.

 

**Opal:** I kinda came in late but here I am.

 

**Asami:** We’re like only in our early 20’s, cut us some slack.

 

**Suyin:** You’re a CEO…

 

**Asami:** So? CEOs can be fucked in the spirit world.

 

**Suyin:** ….

**Suyin:** Lin, is this really what you deal with?

 

**Lin:** Much worse, sometimes.

 

**Suyin:** ….

**Suyin:** You know what.

**Suyin:** Kuvira, you’re walking on thin ice. Just know that. Okay?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m not sure why you’re surprised, we had a kaomoji battle, but okay.

 

**Bolin:** *Emoji

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off, Bolin.

**Kuvira:** Anyways, can I leave prison?

 

**Suyin:** Sure.

**Suyin:** You’re still not invited to family reunions.

 

**Opal:** Lol, sure.

**Opal:** But why the sudden change, mom?

 

**Suyin:** I just lost so much respect for Asami.

 

**Asami:** No one likes you.

 

**Bolin:** At least we know Suyin ‘use’ to respect you out of all of us.

 

**Suyin removed Suyin from group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** I think I broke her faith in us.

 

**Opal:** It’s fine. No one likes her anyways.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No hate for Suyin but she’s THAT kind of person.
> 
> Sorry, this may not be my best work, but it made me chuckle.
> 
> So....road trip fuckery??
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	17. Road trip Part 1

**Bolin:** GUYS

**Bolin:** Two words

**Bolin:** Road Trip

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Opal:** No, thank you.

 

**Korra:** Not really interested

 

**Mako:** Meh.

 

**Lin:** I have work piled up

 

**Kya:** Sure.

 

**Toph:** No.

 

**Bolin:** WOW

**Bolin:** Just Kya?

 

**Asami:** Yeah, have fun!

 

**Bolin:** Guys, come on! Kuvira is released from prison and Korrasami is back from their vacation. We need to celebrate Kuvira coming back to society.

 

**Korra:** Korrasami? So we are just one person now?

 

**Mako:** With how open you two are with your sex lives, yeah you are one person.

 

**Korra:** wow, jealous much?

 

**Bolin:** It would be fun to go on a road trip!

**Bolin:** Just travel around and sight see

 

**Asami:** We have done a lot of that when we were searching for airbenders

 

**Bolin:** W/O having to do some task, okay? Pure fun.

 

**Opal:** I don’t really see a point for a road trip 

 

**Korra:** besides, i have shit to do

 

**Mako:** You really haven’t done much for a long time

 

**Korra:** um yes i have

 

**Mako:** No, you haven’t. U just help spirits

 

**Korra:** that’s work for me

 

**Mako:** you know what’s work? Try being a detective

 

**Asami:** No offense...you’re not that good at it

 

**Mako:** didn’t ask for your opinion

 

**Korra:** spirits, you have such a stick up your ass today

 

**Mako:** no i don’t

 

**Opal:** yeah you do

 

**Mako:** no i dont

 

**Bolin:** I can see you furiously typing on your phone. You are visibly mad.

 

**Lin:** Mako, please stop throwing your stapler at Bolin.

 

**Kuvira:** Mako, is something wrong?

 

**Mako:** No

 

**Opal:** ….

 

**Asami: ….**

 

**Korra: ….**

 

**Bolin: ….**

 

**Kuvira: …..**

 

**Kya: …..**

 

**Toph: …..**

 

**Mako:** Fuck off

 

**Asami:** Rude.

 

**Korra:** Mako, something is bothering you. It’s okay to tell us. We won’t tease you.

 

**Mako:** No

 

**Bolin:** Mako…

**Bolin:** I will chase you down in this office.

 

**Lin:** Please don’t.

 

**Mako:** FINE

**Mako:** Wu and I are kinda on a break.

 

**Asami:** Oh, I’m sorry.

 

**Korra:** What happen?

 

**Mako:** He got mad when I didn’t realize we were actually officially a couple.

 

**Asami:** Yeah, I don’t feel sorry for you anymore.

**Asami:** Everytime he is interviewed, he says you are his boyfriend.

 

**Korra:** He also doesn’t stop talking to you.

 

**Opal:** like ever

 

**Mako:** I’M SORRY I THOUGHT HE MEANT AS GUY FRIENDS

 

**Kya:** WHAT KIND OF MAN REFERS TO HIS BOYFRIEND AS GUY FRIENDS?

 

**Bolin:** Honestly, you deserve it.

 

**Mako:** Fuck all of you.

**Mako:** Now I’m mad and sad

 

**Asami:** You’re always mad and sad

 

**Mako:** then be decent friends and help me out

 

**Asami:** no

 

**Bolin:** Road Trip! It will help!

 

**Korra:** No

 

**Bolin:** WHY? Come on, give me a reason people

 

**Asami:** We just don’t want one, okay?

 

**Mako:** You know what? Just for not helping me, we are ALL going on a road trip

 

**Kya:** YAY

 

**Lin:** No…

 

**Asami:** How the fuck are you going to make us go?

 

**Mako:** Asami, you’re providing everything

 

**Asami:** No I’m not.

 

XXX

 

**In a private massage:**

 

**Mako:** *texts photo*

**Mako:** Remember this?

 

**Asami:** You son of a bitch

**Asami:** You swore to never bring that up

**Asami:** How dare you have a photo of it.

 

**Mako:** We are going on a road trip.

 

**Asami:** Fine.

**Asami:** But burn that picture 

 

**Mako:** We will see.

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”:**

 

**Asami:** We are ALL going on the road trip.

 

**Korra:** Sure.

 

**Opal:** Alright.

 

**Kuvira:** Fine by me

 

**Lin:** Whatever.

 

**Kya:** YAY

 

**Mako:** Perfect.

 

**Toph:** Guess we are going.

 

**Bolin:** Oh, so when Asami says it, we all go now. Wow.

 

**Opal:** Why did you change your mind?

 

**Asami:** I suddenly wanted to, okay?

 

**Lin:** You have been taking a lot of vacations for a CEO…

 

**Asami:** No one questions it because I am the CEO

**Asami:** And my dad is my dad.

 

**Hiroshi:** Stop abusing your power.

 

**Asami:** Oh spirits you finally learn how to come back to chats…

 

**Opal:** Wow, long time no see Mr. Sato.

 

**Korra:** What’s good?

 

**Bolin:** Your wife has been messing with us from time to time.

 

**Hiroshi:** I know, she tells me about it.

**Hiroshi:** Asami, you really shouldn’t be using your authority to get away with vacations.

 

**Asami:** At least I didn’t give weapons to the Equalists and aided them, ruining the Sato name and Future industries that I ALONE had to rebuilt in three years while the love of my life contacted me through letters and I had anxiety of her never coming back. 

 

**Opal:** Spirits….

 

**Kuvira:** She does have a point.

 

**Hiroshi:** Fair...point.

**Hiroshi:** Then, I guess, have fun on this trip.

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Yasuko:** Asami, what’s this?

**Yasuko:** *texts photo*

 

**Asami:** How?

**Asami:** This can’t not be logical.

 

**Hiroshi:** Spirits….Asami

**Hiroshi:** I expect this out of maybe Bolin or Mako but not out of you

 

**Asami:** So now you guys can just see through my other messages?

 

**Yasuko:** Being dead has so many perks.

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits…

**Asami:** I was drunk then…

 

**Hiroshi:** Underage drinking????? ASAMI!

 

**Asami:** Excuse me, Mako was going back and forth between Korra and I, so I made dumb decisions by drinking in secret

 

**Hiroshi:** You know better than to drink when you’re underage!

 

**Yasuko:** This is hilarious.

 

**Hiroshi:** What in the world are you wearing?

 

**Asami:** Mako got it as a gag gift and when I was drunk, I put it on

 

**Yasuko:** It was definitely meant for guys so how is it sticking out?

 

**Asami:** I stuff socks in there.

 

**Hiroshi:** Is this what Mako blackmail you with?

 

**Asami:** Y-yes…

 

**Hiroshi:** You deserve it.

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Yasuko:** Have fun on the road trip!

 

**Asami:** You two aren’t going to help me out of this?

 

**Hiroshi:** No.

**Hiroshi:** This will teach you a lesson about underage drinking

 

**Asami:** It’s not like I can do it again! I’m 22!

 

**Yasuko:** True but it’s still hilarious!

 

XXX

 

**In private message:**

 

**Asami:** just once, I would like to NOT to be the victim 

 

**Korra:** Huh?

**Korra:** Does this have something to do with the sudden decision change?

 

**Asami:** Korra, just know that I love you and I made mistakes

 

**Korra:** ???? Asami?

 

**Asami:** Those mistakes don’t reflect on who I am as a person now

 

**Korra:** Asami, you’re kinda scaring me….

 

**Asami:** alright so which Satomobile should I supply? The new ones or the older versions?

 

**Korra:** Excuse me???

 

**Asami:** I’ll go ask in the group chat.

 

**Korra:** What…

**Korra:** you’re just not going to tell me?

**Korra:** hello?

**Korra:** you will drive...right? 

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Opal:** Did you say something to Asami or??

 

**Mako:** I just kindly told her that she owed me a favor

 

**Opal: …**

 

**Mako:** i think it’s a great idea for the group to go on a vacation without Wu

 

**Opal:** It’s not like we let Wu in the group chat…

 

**Mako:** Just let me have this.

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Lin:** Is it just me? Or does something doesn’t feel right?

 

**Kuvira:** When has this group ever felt normal to you?

  
**Lin:** Touché.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone guess what Asami was wearing?
> 
> Also, should I title my chapters now? Would that be easier to navigate bc I didn’t think I make it last this long? Let me know.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	18. Road trip part 2

**Opal:** Alright, I’m going to say it.

**Opal:** Something feels fishy between Asami and Mako.

 

**Asami:** No clue what you’re talking about

 

**Mako:** No clue.

 

**Korra:** asami, you texted me about making mistakes and about being a victim

 

**Asami:** I was letting off steam

 

**Opal:** Mako, I think you’re just trying to run away from Wu problems now

 

**Mako:** lol no

 

**Lin:** What is going on?

**Lin:** It’s obvious that something is going on.

 

**Bolin:** More importantly!

**Bolin:** Who will go into each car?

 

**Opal:** Really not important

 

**Asami:** Kuvira, Lin, and I can drive.

**Asami:** Korra is with me.

 

**Kuvira:** Opal has to be with me.

 

**Kya:** I go with Lin

**Kya:** Toph can come with us

 

**Toph:** Tight.

 

**Asami:** That leaves Mako and Bolin. You guys can pick whatever car you want

**Asami:** Although Mako stays with Korra and I

 

**Korra:** You’re not giving Mako a choice?

 

**Mako:** Fine by me

 

**Bolin:** I’ll hop with Kuvira and Opal

 

**Opal:** Sure.

 

**Bolin:** So it’s all set? We leave in an hour?

 

**Asami:** Yeah

 

**Lin:** Alright…

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** Isn’t this nice guys? The sun in our faces. The wind blowing in our hairs.

 

**Toph:** It’s only been an hour since we left. Shut up.

 

**Opal:** It has been nice, though. It’s kind of calming.

 

**Bolin:** It helps that Kuvira is a good driver.

 

**Toph:** Lin isn’t too bad.

 

**Kya:** She’s great~

**Kya:** @Korra @Mako, how about you guys?

 

**Korra:** We are going to die.

 

**Opal:** Wat

 

**Bolin:** lol why?

 

**Korra:** Asami and Mako have been bickering since we left

**Korra:** I have no idea what they are talking about.

**Korra:** But it distracts Asami and she almost swerved off the road.

 

**Bolin:** @Mako, yo bro. Don’t piss off your driver

 

**Mako:** She started it!

 

**Korra:** You kept telling her about a photo you have and she keeps trying to slap you

 

**Kya:** I knew there was something going on

 

**Opal:** A photo? Like a nude?

 

**Asami:** EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT UP

 

**Kya:** Asami, don’t text and drive

 

**Korra:** don’t worry i took the phone away.

 

**Mako:** She doesn’t need to be such a douche

 

**Toph:** For what?

 

**Mako:** she knows

 

**Opal:** are you that mad that we didn’t help you with your love life?

**Opal:** You were totally at fault.

**Opal:** How do you not know that you’re Wu’s boyfriend when he says it all the time?

 

**Mako:** Shut up, leave me alone

 

**Bolin:** Ugh you’re so difficult bro

 

**Kya:** So you take it out on Asami?

 

**Mako:** she was the rude one

 

**Korra:** Alright, to be fair, he is right. She kinda dismissed it first.

 

**Mako:** Thank you, Korra

 

**Bolin:** We are still doing the road trip right?

 

**Korra:** Well, yeah but now I got to get Mako and Asami to reconcile 

 

**Yasuko:** *texts photo*

 

**Mako:** FUCK

 

**Opal:** What the actual fuck is Asami wearing?

 

**Korra:** Oh damn….is that an underwear for guys?

 

**Mako:** It was a gag gift from a buddy of mine.

 

**Bolin:** LMAO ASAMI WTF

 

**Opal:** Kuvira almost crashed when I showed her.

 

**Kya:** Same with Lin.

 

**Asami:** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MOM???

 

**Opal:** How is Asami texting?????

 

**Korra:** She grabbed it and now she and Mako are verbally fighting 

 

**Toph:** Look, I find this hilarious, but please don’t die

**Toph:** Also describe what is on the photo

 

**Opal:** Asami is wearing nothing but a lace bra and some elephant underwear where the trunk is where the dick goes

**Opal:** it looks like she stuffed it

 

**Toph:** wtf….

 

**Kya:** She looks drunk

 

**Opal:** And yet she still looks hot

 

**Bolin:** Was this really what mako and asami were fighting about?

 

**Opal:** At this point, this photo doesn’t really surprise me. Idk why asami was so freaked out

 

**Korra:** It’s called shame

**Korra:** Btw I made them pull over.

**Korra:** Asami is kicking Mako’s ass

 

**Opal:** lol have fun with that

 

**Bolin:** We’ll meet you at the beach!

 

**Kya:** So are we ignoring that it was her mom that sent it?

 

**Yasuko:** I want to see drama, being dead can be pretty boring.

**Yasuko:** plus i like seeing asami fight 

 

**Opal:** is there no afterlife?

 

**Yasuko:** There is but I kinda don’t feel like crossing over

 

**Toph:** Mother of the year award goes to Yasuko

 

**Kya:** You get second place, mother in law

 

**Toph:** First is the worst

**Toph:** Second is the best

 

**Kya:** Touché 

 

**Korra:** Alright i think they stopped fighting.

 

**Asami:** Idk why I even let Mako blackmail me…

 

**Mako:** tbh i didnt send it

 

**Asami:** mom we are having a talk when we get to location

 

**Yasuko:** Oh loook going to cross over

 

**Asami:** Don’t you dare!

 

**Lin:** You are all such petty children!

 

**Kya:** DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day? Yeah, I did that.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	19. Road trip part 3

**Kuvira:** @Asami @Korra

**Kuvira:** It’s 4 in the morning.

**Kuvira:** This cabin doesn’t have thick walls.

 

**Asami:** You and Opal were at it at midnight.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah and we stopped so we can sleep.

**Kuvira:** How are you awake? You drove the entire time.

 

**Asami:** My booty doesn’t need sleep.

 

**Opal:** Then can you two be quieter!

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Bolin:** I brought earplugs if you need some.

 

**Opal:** How...prepared, Bolin...

 

**Bolin:** We have three couples in the group, of course you were all going to go at it.

 

**Toph:** GIVE ME SOME

**Toph:** MY ROOM IS NEXT TO LIN AND KYA

 

**Opal:** Really? They’re going at it? I barely hear them

 

**Toph:** It’s not about the volume. It’s about the content.

**Toph:** GIVE ME SOME NOW

 

**Bolin:** Alright I’m dropping them off

 

**Kuvira:** Asami, you did that on purpose.

 

**Asami:** Sorry not sorry, Korra was being a bit rough.

 

**Opal:** You’re texting through it?

 

**Asami:** Yep

**Asami:** Korra kinda likes it.

 

**Bolin:** Korra has got some weird kinks.

 

**Korra:** Don’t kinkshame me.

 

**Kuvira:** Are you done?

 

**Korra:** I might keep going to piss you off.

 

**Kuvira:** Bolin! Opal and I are going to need ear plugs too.

 

**Bolin:** Coming right up!

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** SHUT UP YOU TWO

 

**Asami:** Make me!

**Asami:** Vanilla little shit

 

**Opal:** Oh fuck you!

 

**Kuvira:** Opal and I have done a bit of spanking, thank you very much.

 

**Asami:** Vanilla couple.

 

**Opal:** Nothing wrong with that!

 

**Korra:** It is when you’re giving us shit.

 

**Kuvira:** It’s five in the morning

 

**Opal:** WHY ARE YOU TWO TEXTING DURING SEX???

 

**Asami:** oh we done now

 

**Kuvira:** Finally.

**Kuvira:** Okay, Korra, I know that was you banging on the walls.

 

**Korra:** So what if it was me?

 

**Kuvira:** I will fight you.

 

**Korra:** I beat you once.

 

**Kuvira:** No, I forfeit.

 

**Korra:** Okay, Kuvira.

**Korra:** I totally spiritbended your ass

 

**Kuvira:** Oh fuck you.

 

**Asami:** Oooo, Kuvira is actually getting mad

 

**Kuvira:** You guys won’t like me when I’m angry.

 

**Asami:** We dealt with it and won.

 

**Kuvira:** I killed your dad.

 

**Asami:** Don’t bring my dad into this.

**Asami:** Like don’t. He’s been an ass to me lately.

 

**Kuvira:** That’s what you like, though. Butt stuff.

 

**Asami:** So what if I do?

 

**Kuvira:** I will rip you a new hole if you would just let me sleep.

 

**Korra:** Okay calm down Kuvira.

 

**Opal:** Roast them, babe.

 

**Kuvira:** Control your girlfriend, Korra.

 

**Korra:** Cut her some slack, she’s been through enough.

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll put her through more if you two just go to sleep.

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** What happen to the cabin?

**Lin:** Where’s @Korra and @Kuvira?

**Lin:** @Asami @Opal??

 

**Opal:** They are fighting for our honor.

 

**Asami:** We’re in our early twenties. What are we doing with our lives?

 

**Opal:** Idk, i forgot what we were fighting about

 

**Lin:** Where are you two?

 

**Asami:** On some sea stack in the middle of the coastline. Idk

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Opal:** On a big rock in the middle of the sea.

 

**Lin:** HOW?

 

**Kya:** I see you two!

 

**Bolin:** Where’s Mako? And why is half of our room missing?

 

**Kya:** Oh I see him.

**Kya:** He’s swimming towards Asami and Opal

**Kya:** Why aren’t you two letting him on?

 

**Asami:** Girls only.

 

**Opal:** Girl’s rock only.

 

**Lin:** WHY?

**Lin:** LET HIM ON

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Kya:** I got him, I got him.

 

**Lin:** Why are you guys like this?

 

**Asami:** Horny

 

**Opal:** Lack of sleep.

 

**Kya:** Top two of three gay problems.

 

**Bolin:** Where’s Korra and Kuvira?

 

**Asami:** idk, imma nap

 

**Opal:** me too girl

 

**Lin:** It’s 9 am…

 

**Asami:** nighty night.

 

**Opal:** I’ll airbend us back when we wake up

 

**Lin:** I swear to spirits….

 

**Toph:** I just woke up. Why is my bed in the middle of water?

 

**Kya:** Spirits, Bolin. Those were some good ear plugs...

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** Hey, Kuvira and I are stranded on a small island. Can you guys pick us up?

 

**Lin:** Stay there and never come back.

 

**Kuvira:** Rude. I have sand in areas that I don’t want sand.

 

**Kya:** How did you guys get there?

 

**Korra:** Idk, i was in the avatar state the whole time

 

**Kuvira:** everything was a blur

 

**Korra:** Then we konked out and woke up.

 

**Lin:** @Asami, please let me leave the chat

 

**Asami:** bitch you ruin my beauty sleep

**Asami:** and no

 

**Opal:** Thanks auntie, i was having a nice dream

 

**Lin:** WHY ARE YOU TWO STILL ON THE ROCK?

**Lin:** IT’S 2PM

 

**Mako:** FUCK YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME ON

 

**Asami:** lol

 

**Toph:** Best road trip ever.

 

**Kuvira:** So...do we have to come back on our own?

 

**Lin:** Kuvira, please don’t be tainted by these idiots.

 

**Opal:** She’s here, she will be queer, and she will be a part of the fuckery.

 

**Bolin:** Look at how much we are bonding.

 

**Lin:** I should have let you guys fend for yourselves.

 

**Kuvira:** We would do a better job without you. I might have never left Zaofu.

 

**Opal:** damn….

 

**Kya:** OUCH

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits, I hate you all.

 

**Toph:** Except Kya

**Toph:** Can I just say you have some major daddy issues, Lin?

 

**Lin:** Whose fault is that?

 

**Toph:** Lol

 

**Asami:** daddy issues are normal and valid

 

**Lin:** FUCK YOU ASAMI

 

**Kya:** That’s how you get more rough, Lin. I knew you had it in you.

 

**Toph:** As much as I find this hilarious, can anyone please pick me up? I’m still in the middle of the ocean.

  
**Lin:** Oh shit, my bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two w|w couples were bound to get mad, tired and horny.
> 
> Also....Opal roasting next chapter??
> 
> ;)


	20. Road trip part 4

**Opal:** You guys are immature.

**Opal:** We have a new cabin with bigger rooms.

**Opal:** We had a fun and peaceful past few days on this beach.

**Opal:** There is no reason to lock Kuvira out from the cabin.

**Opal:** I don’t like that she’s naked in the open.

 

**Asami:** Wait, what?

 

**Korra:** idk who was responsible but that’s hilarious 

 

**Opal:** So...you guys aren’t inside the cabin?

 

**Asami:** Korra and I are on a private beach.

 

**Mako:** Bolin and I are swimming by the reef down south

 

**Bolin:** so...why is kuvira naked…?

 

**Kuvira:** Someone took my clothes but luckily I had my phone with me.

 

**Opal:** my clothes barely fit her

 

**Mako:** why did you take off your clothes?

 

**Opal:** To have sex, duh.

 

**Kuvira:** Asami said we are too vanilla so we had sex outside.

 

**Asami:** Still amateurs

 

**Lin:** We are gone for an hour to get food and this is what happens?

 

**Kya:** I wish I could take credit for this. This is hilarious.

 

**Lin:** oh spirits, i don’t want to come back to see Kuvira butt naked

 

**Kuvira:** You’re just jealous that I have an 8-pack.

 

**Asami:** Okay, show off….

 

**Korra:** WE are ALL jealous about that…

 

**Lin:** Just try to cover yourself off when we come back.

 

**Kya:** please show off your stomach tho

 

**Kuvira:** Alright.

 

**Lin:** No.

 

**Opal:** the only other person who might have done it is grandma

 

**Toph:** Lin left me in the car when they went shopping

**Toph:** Ungrateful daughter

 

**Lin:** You would be less trouble if you stayed in the car

 

**Kya:** Don’t worry, I left the air conditioner on and some music

 

**Toph:** Why couldn’t Kya have been my daughter…? She treats me right.

 

**Lin:** WOW

 

**Toph:** so I’m a bit concerned on who took Kuvira’s clothes.

 

**Opal:** I’ll worry about it once we are inside the cabin. In which Kuvira will just metal bend inside

 

**Lin:** Don’t ruin the door! We just paid for the last cabin.

 

**Asami:** I payed for it, bitch.

 

**Lin:** Where’s your key, Opal?

 

**Opal:** It was in Kuvira’s clothes.

 

**Lin:** oms…..

 

**Mako:** I just realize that the Beifongs are quite open with their ‘personal’ lives…

**Mako:** We have a Grandma, aunt, and niece in this group

 

**Lin:** No, everyone is just nosy.

 

**Opal:** I really stop giving a flying fuck.

 

**Asami:** Remember when Opal was so shy and nervous all the time?

 

**Lin:** Those were such good old days.

 

**Opal:** You made me cry you heartless shit.

 

**Kya:** LOL

 

**Toph:** When did Opal become such a little shit?

**Toph:** A lovable little shit.

 

**Opal:** Since I let a criminal bone me.

 

**Kuvira:** This criminal is freezing right now. Can I metalbend the door open?

 

**Lin:** NO

 

**Kuvira:** I’m going to ignore you.

 

**Lin:** Spirits…

**Lin:** I will kick you out if you break the door down.

 

**Bolin:** Just let her break it down, we’re benders for fuck sake

 

**Lin:** Let's be mundane citizens for once…

 

**Asami:** It’s boring, don’t recommend it.

 

**Kuvira:** Are you really going to make me wait for you while naked?

 

**Lin:** Just cover yourself with Opal’s clothes.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira is a fucking hunk, auntie. She can barely covers her lower half with my shirt.

 

**Mako:** Would that make Opal a twink?

 

**Opal:** Excuse me?

 

**Mako:** A twink. Usually the bottom of the relationship.

 

**Asami:** Twinks who are tops are valid and have big dick energy.

 

**Opal:** EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME, MAKO?

 

**Asami:** Mako insinuated that you are a twink of the relationship. Now fight.

 

**Lin:** ASAMI

 

**Asami:** LET ME HAVE THIS.

 

**Opal:** I AM A TWUNK!

 

**Korra:** LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO

 

**Mako:** What the fuck is a twunk!?

 

**Opal:** NOT A TWINK

 

**Bolin:** Look, I might not be an expert on this but a twunk sounds like a combination of twink and hunk

 

**Asami:** He’s right. Now fight.

 

**Mako:** You’re a twink, Opal. Or equivalent of one.

 

**Opal:** I’m a fucking woman! That slang is for gay men.

 

**Mako:** Okay, uke.

 

**Opal:** AGAIN THAT IS USED FOR MALES

 

**Mako:** SAME THING 

 

**Opal:** FUCK YOU AND YOUR TINY DICK

 

**Mako:** IT IS NOT TINY, IT IS AVERAGE 

 

**Opal:** COMPARED TO WU MAYBE

**Opal:** WU IS A TWINK

 

**Mako:** THAT MAKES ME A HUNK

 

**Opal:** YOUR A TWUNK

 

**Mako:** I AM A TWUNK

**Mako:** FUCK I MEANT HUNK

 

**Asami:** *texts photo*

**Asami:** Got the screenshot before you corrected yourself.

**Asami:** Now fight please.

 

**Opal:** FYI MAKO. I AM A FUTCH

 

**Mako:** THATS EQUIVALENT TO A TWUNK

 

**Opal:** JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GETTING ANYTHING FROM WU DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN USE ME AS A REPLACEMENT OF A TWINK

 

**Bolin:** LMAO PLS STOP AAAAHHHH

 

**Korra:** oh my spirits, i have never seen opal get so triggered.

 

**Asami:** Opal has some femininity issues apparently 

**Asami:** Even tho she is perfectly valid no matter how she dresses or acts in the relationship 

**Asami:** but keep fighting

 

**Mako:** I am not replacing Wu with you!

**Mako:** I’m not into girls with short bowl cuts

 

**Opal:** FUCK YOU

**Opal:** SORRY THAT I AM NOT ASAMI OR KORRA

 

**Korra:** wow….opal is triggered af

 

**Bolin:** Mako has been such an ass since he and Wu are on break.

 

**Opal:** SHOVE A STICK UP YOUR ASS MAKO

**Opal:** MAYBE YOU’LL BE THE UKE AFTER ALL

 

**Mako:** I AM A SEME

**Mako:** ACCORDING TO THOSE YAOI MANGAS

 

**Asami:** I’m screaming! Ahhhh

 

**Korra:** spirits we need to trigger Opal more

 

**Bolin:** bro you’re such a useless gay

 

**Kuvira:** You do realize that most yaoi mangas are usually catered for straight women?

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Opal:** NEWSFLASH MAKO

**Opal:** THE BUTTHOLE DOESN’T LUBRICATE ITSELF

 

**Mako:** Wait are you being serious or just yelling at me?

 

**Asami:** jhafkjhsdjfhaksjfhakjskfhskhfkjs

 

**Korra:** Mako, the anus can’t lubricate itself.

 

**Mako:** Are you guys serious?

 

**Toph:** God I love this phone and how it caters to my disability

**Toph:** This chat sounds even funnier when it is spoken out loud on speaker.

 

**Lin:** I CAN HEAR IT FROM THE STORE, TURN IT DOWN, MOM

 

**Kya:** oh spirits, mako you are dumb af

 

**Opal:** Mako, please don’t tell me that you shove it in.

 

**Mako:** We haven’t gone that far…

 

**Opal:** WELL DON’T OKAY U DUMB UKE

 

**Mako:** I AM A SEME

 

**Asami:** *texts photo*

**Asami:** You do not pull a man’s butt cheeks apart and expect it to be already wet like a pussy, like this screenshot of this doujinshi 

 

**Korra:** STOP I AM CRYING SO MUCH AAAAHHHH

 

**Bolin:** ASAMI YOU ARE MAKING THIS SO MUCH BETTER THANK YOU ADMIN ASAMI

 

**Opal:** Thank you Asami for proving my point~

 

**Mako:** I will fight you!

 

**Opal:** FIGHT ME TWINK

 

**Mako:** I AM A HUNK

 

**Opal:** GET BENT U FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

 

**Kuvira:** Can we find my clothes first?

 

**Lin:** DON’T YOU DARE FIGHT YOU USELESS CHILDREN!

 

**Opal:** MEET ME HALFWAY U TWINK

 

**Mako:** On my way!!

 

XXX

 

**Asami:** WHY IS KUVIRA STILL NAKED??

 

**Bolin:** Where are you?

 

**Asami:** Behind you, we’re waving

 

**Korra:** Bolin, give her some clothes!!!!! You have a bag next to you 

 

**Kuvira:** They got wet when Mako raced to fight Opal.

 

**Lin:** STOP FIGHTING

 

XXX

 

**Kya:** Where are you guys?

 

**Kuvira:** Naked and afraid.

 

**Lin:** WHY ARE YOU STILL NAKED?

 

**Kuvira:** I barely fit in anyone’s clothes.

**Kuvira:** Even Korra’s clothes is a tight fit.

 

**Korra:** Why did you lock the cabin, Lin? We couldn’t get in and you didn’t want us to break in.

 

**Lin:** THERE ARE LIKE 4 KEYS??????

 

**Asami:** we lost them all

 

**Lin:** OMFSSSSS WTF

 

**Toph:** I found Kuvira’s clothes

 

**Kya:** Where?

 

**Toph:** Under some log.

 

**Kuvira:** Oh, that’s right. I forgot I did that to secure them down so they won’t blow away in the wind.

 

**Asami:** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU HAVE BEEN NAKED ALL THIS TIME AND THEY WERE UNDER A LOG WHERE YOU AND OPAL SCREWED??

 

**Kya:** Why are you screaming in chat, aren’t you guys together?

 

**Asami:** I wanted to reiterate to everyone in chat. 

 

**Kuvira:** It looked like you didn’t seem to mind too much, Asami.

 

**Korra:** Kuvira, your ass is fucking toned as fuck. I’m jealous.

 

**Kuvira:** I work hard on that. :)

 

**Bolin:** @Lin, Korra is naked too btw

 

**Lin:** WHY KORRA???

 

**Korra:** I didn’t want Kuvira to feel alone so I joined in to make her feel better.

 

**Lin:** WHAT

**Lin:** SPIRITS YOU ARE SUCH A WEIRDO

 

**Korra:** I’m a good friend, thank you very much.

 

**Kya:** So that’s why Asami ‘didn’t mind too much’.

 

**Asami:** I may or may not be naked too….

 

**Lin:** WHY?

**Lin:** WHYYYY????

 

**Asami:** I support my lady love and her really toned af friend.

 

**Kuvira:** :)

 

**Bolin:** I’m also half naked too but I kept my swimming trunks on to be respectful.

 

**Kya:** You guys are all so supportive! :)

 

**Lin:** You fucking turn the beach to a nude beach….

 

**Toph:** Bolin is in the dream spot for all straight males.

 

**Bolin:** That’s true but I’m kinda concerned for Mako right now

 

**Asami:** Opal is whipping Mako’s ass

 

**Korra:** Air beats fire, especially over the water

 

**Lin:** STOP THEM

 

**Kuvira:** No.

 

**Lin:** Please.

 

**Kuvira:** Fine, since you said please.

 

**Kya:** Wow, Kuvira really is toned.

 

**Lin:** Kya! Where are you?

 

**Kya:** I found them!

 

**Lin:** You’re a waterbender, stop them!!!

 

**Kya:** Let me enjoy Kuvira’s body a bit more.

**Kya:** She can be one of those fit models.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Asami:** Lin, you have to see it. Even coming from me, Kuvira puts us all to shame.

 

**Korra:** Opal chose well.

 

**Toph:** I’m just chillin

**Toph:** On this log that I claim.

 

XXX

 

**Toph:** Are you guys back yet?

 

**Lin:** Please do not tell me you are still at that damn log?

 

**Toph:** You are such an ungrateful child.

 

**Kya:** We are back. Got back about 2 hours ago.

 

**Kuvira:** It’s nice to wear clothes again.

 

**Bolin:** I’m pretty sure you enjoyed being a nudist.

 

**Opal:** I wouldn’t mind.

 

**Asami:** I thought you were asleep, Opal.

 

**Opal:** @Mako is banging on my wall to piss me off.

 

**Mako:** I won fair and square.

 

**Korra:** Shut up and go to sleep.

 

**Mako:** It’s hard when your legs are fucking broken.

 

**Kuvira:** You deserve it.

 

**Toph:** Why are his legs broken?

 

**Bolin:** Opal lifted Mako over the water so high and he was like ‘Do it. Drop me. You wouldnt’

 

**Asami:** Then Opal dropped him.

 

**Opal:** Don’t fucking test me.

 

**Mako:** @Kya, heal my legs

 

**Kya:** Eating s’mores with my boo~

 

**Mako:** You guys are eating s’mores without us????

 

**Kuvira:** I’m coming to you with them, Opal.

 

**Opal:** Thanks babe~~

 

**Mako:** Fuck you all.

 

**Lin:** FUCK YOU, MAKO. YOU STARTED ALL OF THIS

 

**Mako:** and I regret it

 

**Asami:** Not surprised.

 

**Korra:** Toph, no offense, but you are more than capable to walk back.

 

**Toph:** You’re right, Korra. But maybe I just want Lin to treat me like a mother for once and walk me back.

 

**Lin:** FUCK YOU

 

**Bolin:** Totally going to bring it in but tell us about Kanto.

 

**Toph:** He was a one time thing.

 

**Kya:** Lol, Toph, Lin is chasing Bolin across the beach hahaha

 

**Toph:** She’s so sensitive 

 

**Korra:** Was your second husband, johto?

 

**Toph:** My other fuck boys were Sinnoh and Hoenn

 

**Asami:** oh my spirits hahaha

 

**Mako:** Was Sokka ever on that list?

 

**Toph:** Go to sleep you piece of shit.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry. My fuckery is out of control...
> 
> Next chapter: I’m on Team Mystic, what are you?


	21. Pokemon go go goooo

**Opal:** @Asami

**Opal:** Where are you?

 

**Lin:** This chat was quiet for one week. Why did you have to ruin it?

 

**Kuvira:** Because Raiko is wondering where Asami is.

 

**Mako:** Lol what?

 

**Bolin:** Maybe her sanity went overboard.

 

**Kuvira:** Don’t joke about that…

 

**Korra:** She’s playing pokemon go

 

**Kuvira:** What team?

 

**Korra:** She is on team fucking Valor…

**Korra:** I couldn’t convince her to join mystic….

 

**Kuvira:** Are you kidding me?

 

**Opal:** YES ASAMI VALOR FOR THE WIN

 

**Kuvira:** Mystic for the win, excuse me.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Kya:** Team mystic!

 

**Korra:** YES KYA

 

**Bolin:** Valor

 

**Opal:** YES BOLIN

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** Valor…

 

**Toph:** Pussy

**Toph:** Mystic team here.

 

**Bolin:** How???

 

**Toph:** Valors are pussies

 

**Bolin:** No, how are you playing?

 

**Toph:** Luck and skill.

 

**Mako:** Team Instinct.

 

**Asami banned Mako from group chat “3.0”**

 

**Opal:** I’m dying omg hahahahahah

 

**Asami:** He will never be allowed back.

 

**Lin:** Asami, Raiko is looking for you.

 

**Asami:** I don’t want to talk to him.

 

**Lin:** Why?

 

**Asami:** He’s team Instinct.

 

**Lin:** ….

 

**Opal:** That’s understandable.

 

**Korra:** Fuck instinct 

 

**Kuvira:** Mystic is the best!

 

**Asami:** Fuck you two, it is team Valor!!

 

**Korra:** You just chose it bc you love the color red!

 

**Asami:** YOU DID THE SAME

 

**Kuvira:** Articuno is better and stronger than Moltres.

 

**Opal:** 3 is bigger than 1

 

**Bolin:** ROASTED

 

**Lin:** spirits, i didn’t want this shit 

**Lin:** I didn’t even want to play, Kya made me.

 

**Kya:** I really didn’t think you would betray me…

 

**Korra:** Okay, Lin, why the fuck did you conquer a gym at 3 am in the morning??

 

**Lin:** HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

 

**Korra:** BC IT WAS MYSTIC’S GYM YOU STOLE

 

**Lin:** Spirit are you guys doing this at 3 AM?

 

**Kuvira:** What were you doing…?

 

**Lin:** No comment.

 

**Toph:** *texts photo*

**Toph:** What did I just catch?

 

**Asami:** You caught a fucking Dragonite?

 

**Korra:** HOW? WHAT?

 

**Kuvira:** It’s a shiny…

 

**Bolin:** UNFAIR

 

**Opal:** GRANDMA TRADE WITH ME

 

**Toph:** Sure.

 

**Korra:** TRAITOR

 

**Toph:** She’s my favorite grandchild. 

 

**Opal:** HAHAHA FUCK YOU MYSTIC

 

**Asami:** HAHAHA BETRAYED BY YOUR OWN KIND

 

**Kuvira:** You are banned from Team Mystic

 

**Toph:** I also have a shiny and special Blastoise with sunglasses.

 

**Kuvira:** T-trade with me?

 

**Korra:** WOW KUVIRA

 

**Toph:** I have two.

 

**Korra:** Trade me.

 

**Toph:** Sure.

 

**Bolin:** HOW?

**Bolin:** HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?

 

**Toph:** Luck and skill.

 

**Lin:** In all seriousness, Raiko still needs to talk to you, Asami.

 

**Asami:** Raiko can fuck himself with team instinct 

 

**Lin:** oh my spirits stop

 

XXX

 

**Mako:** WTF ASAMI

**Mako:** REALLY?

**Mako:** YOU BANNED ME

**Mako:** YOU ARE SO FUCKING IMMATURE

**Mako:** YOU THINK YOU ARE THE SHIT WITH VALOR

**Mako:** YOU AINT

**Mako:** ASAMI ADD ME BACK IN

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** ASAMMMIIIII

**Mako:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**Mako:** COME ON

**Mako:** ASAMMMIIIII

**Mako:** I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** SALAMI BREATH

**Mako:** ASSSSSAMI

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** ASAMI

**Mako:** LET ME BACK IN

**Mako:** ASAMI FUCKING SATO

**Mako:** Okay ill make you a peace offering

**Mako:** I have a shiny Tyranitar that I am willing to trade 

 

**Asami:** Now we are talking.

 

XXX

 

**Asami unbanned Mako from group chat “3.0”**

 

**Opal:** How could you, Asami?

 

**Asami:** I have a shiny tyranitar bc of him

 

**Opal:** Wise trade off my fellow Valor

 

**Bolin:** You’re on thin ice, bro

 

**Mako:** I’m just hatching my eggs, okay? Leave me alone.

 

**Korra:** Ugh, you really are an Instinct 

 

**Kuvira:** Disgusting.

 

**Toph:** I think I won a gym battle.

 

**Bolin:** HOW?

**Bolin:** HOWWWW?????

 

**Asami:** Really toph? I just claimed that gym

 

**Opal:** How are you so good, grandma?

 

**Toph:** Luck and Skill.

 

**Lin:** I am really having a hard time understanding how my mom is doing so well on this game….shes blind...

 

**Korra:** Mystic powers are helping her.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck yeah.

 

**Bolin:** Fuck mystic.

 

**Kya:** Fuck Valor

 

**Asami:** We conquered more gyms than you guys.

 

**Korra:** We have the Air temple.

 

**Opal:** We have Avatar Park

**Opal:** ALL 5 GYMS THERE

 

**Kuvira:** We got all of the northern part of Republic city

 

**Toph:** We got the south

 

**Lin:** Police station is Valor’s

 

**Kya:** East side are mystics 

 

**Bolin:** West side are valor’s

 

**Mako:** I got the one at Cabbage corps.

 

**Asami:** Lol

 

**Opal:** hahahah hahahah

 

**Korra:** good job, mako. 

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll go conquer it.

 

**Opal:** NOT IF I GET THERE FIRST

 

**Korra:** KUVIRA GO

 

**Asami:** OPAL GOOOO

 

**Mako:** I JUST GOT IT WOW LET ME HAVE THIS ONE

 

**Bolin:** GO OPAL GOOOOO

 

**Toph:** YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE FAMILY IF YOU DON’T GET IT KUVIRA.

 

**Lin:** Go opal, go.

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** ASAMI PLEASE BAN MAKO AGAIN

 

**Kuvira:** I DON’T EVEN WANT IT ANYMORE

 

**Asami:** Why?

 

**Opal:** HE PUT A FUCKING MAGIKARP IN THE GYM

 

**Mako:** I WANTED MORE POKECOINS

 

**Korra:** YOU ARE SUCH AN INSTINCT

 

**Mako:** INSTINCT ISN’T THAT FUCKING BAD

 

**Toph:** You are literally the embodiment of the reason why that team sucks.

 

**Kya:** I think we can all agree on that.

 

**Bolin:** Ditto

 

**Mako:** Wu is on team Instinct too so stfu and leave me alone

 

**Asami:** ugh, you two would be that type of couple.

 

**Opal:** Glad you two worked it out

**Opal:** BUT FUCK TEAM INSTINCT

 

**Mako:** YOU GUYS TAKE THE GAME WAY TOO SERIOUSLY

 

**Korra:** You don’t take it seriously enough. 

 

**Mako:** Spirits, you guys are a lost cause.

 

**Asami renamed “Mako” to “Zapdouche”**

 

**Zapdouche:** Very mature….

 

**Opal:** Shut up, Spark’s bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for any Intinct players I may have offended with Mako...Not really. *runs*
> 
> In case you got confused:
> 
> Kuvira, Korra, Toph, Kya- Mystic 
> 
> Opal, Asami, Bolin, Lin- Valor
> 
> Mako (Also Wu and Raiko)- Instinct
> 
> More of this type or something else? Let me know!
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	22. Name changing fuckery

**Assami’s Eater:** Asami, why did you want me to text in the group chat?

**Assami’s Eater:** Oh

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Tee hee

 

**Assami’s Eater:** I’m dying, babe. This is hilarious.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Just wait until you see what I did for everyone else.

 

**Futch Queen:** Omg you two

**Futch Queen:** Oh fuck yess asami, you rock

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** I got you girl.

 

**Buns of Steel:** …

**Buns of Steel:** I take great pride in my new name now.

 

**Futch Queen:** OMG ASAMI I LOVE KUVIRA’S

**Futch Queen:** Spirits I’m dying ahahahahahha

 

**Buns of Steel:** At this point, I guess everyone has seen my ass.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** I’m serious, Kuvira. What’s your routine?

 

**Buns of Steel:** I don’t think Opal would want me to tell you.

 

**Futch Queen:** If Asami gets to have a woman with a great upper torso, then I get to have the woman with a great bottom half.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Okay but Korra doesn’t have a fucking 8-pack.

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Ever since she saw Kuvira’s, she has been grinding her stomach away.

 

**Buns of Steel:** You can get a hernia if you’re not careful.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** What’s that?

 

**Buns of Steel:** When your stomach lining is rubbed too thin that it makes a hole and your guts kinda spill out.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** ….

 

**Assami’s Eater:** Oh spirits that’s fucking terrifying.

 

**Buns of Steel:** They can be kinda small at first but they can get pretty big. It depends on how much damage you caused on your stomach lining.

 

**Futch Queen:** My baby is so smart <3

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** How the fuck am I supposed to remember who is who?

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Are you actually fucking kidding me?

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** This isn’t fucking funny, Asami. 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** How the fuck do I change it!?

 

**Futch Queen:** I laughed so hard that I almost fell over Juicy hahahahahah

 

**Buns of Steel:** I coughed up my coffee. Spirits, Asami, that is hilarious.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** AAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU ASAMI

**Gay Mother Nature:** OOOOO I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE ASAMI

**Gay Mother Nature:** OH GOODNESS THIS IS GREAT

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** You are all welcome.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** I can’t. Asami this is so great.

**Bara Hunk Brother:** OH SPIRITS YES

 

**Futch Queen:** ASAMI STOP YOU’RE LITERALLY KILLING ME OMS OMFS

 

**Buns of Steel:** That suits him way too well.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** This is the best chat ever

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Can you please change my name???

 

**Futch Queen:** Bolin, If you are interested, I got some brothers who would be into men like you.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** Wait what!?

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** I see Opal and Bolin has had some nice deep talk-to-talk conversations about sexualities...

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Was Bataar Jr the only straight child?

 

**Futch Queen:** Yeah, that’s why we truly hate him.

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Even Huan?

 

**Futch Queen:** I think he says he’s asexual. Either way, he’s valid.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** Honestly, I’ll consider it if it’s either Wing or Wei.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** OMS WE ALL GOING TO BE GAY

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** …

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** I guess Bolin is a little better than Kuvira…

 

**Buns of Steel:** Rude.

 

**Futch Queen:** I’ll go talk to them when I see them.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** What if Bolin gets both?

 

**Futch Queen:** I’ll worry about it when I talk to them.

**Futch Queen:** Although might be unlikely bc I think one of them might be talking to someone.

**Futch Queen:** We’ll see.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** This has been the best decision of my life.

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** I love being admin

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** OMS, I WANNA SEE MAKO’s

 

**Hop’n Toph:** Sorry, I’m late. I was laughing so hard at your names that I couldn’t respond.

**Hop’n Toph:** Oh thank spirits…

**Hop’n Toph:** Thank you, Asami, for not making mine overly sexual

 

**Futch Queen:** That’s so cute!

 

**Assami’s Eater:** Awww

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** It suits you, Toph.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** Oh mother, it’s so adorable 

 

**Buns of Steel:** Oh? Mother huh?

 

**Hop’n Toph:** You can call me grandmama

 

**Buns of Steel:** YES!

 

**Hop’n Toph:** You can only call me that in front of Baatar Jr.

 

**Buns of Steel:** DEAL.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Toph, it was either that name or GILF

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** WE WILL NOT CALL HER THAT

 

**Hop’n Toph:** WAIT CHANGE MY NAME TO THAT, ASAMI!

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** DO NOT, ASAMI!

 

**Asami renamed “Hop’n Toph” to “GILF”**

 

**GILF:** Fuck yeah.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** YES!!!

 

**Buns of Steel:** Oh spirits, I’m dead.

 

**Futch Queen:** THIS IS WHY THE BEIFONG FAMILY IS THE BEST.

**Futch Queen:** No offense, Kya.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** None taken, my family is boring. Tenzin can barely use a phone and Bumi somehow breaks all of his phones that he gave up.

**Gay Mother Nature:** Although I am teaching my mom to use a phone.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** OMS GRANDMA KATARA???

 

**Futch Queen:** I forget that you are literally one of the previous Avatar’s children.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** I KNOW. MY FAMILY IS SO BORING.

**Gay Mother Nature:** I think she’s getting the hang of it.

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** We are not adding her to the chat. I can’t even get out of it…

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Um?? I’m the fucking admin so stfu I will do anything I want

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Fuck me.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** Okay. 

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Not what I meant!

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** Well you can’t just say that and not expect that answer.

 

**GILF:** Hahaha, he’s right.

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** Please...don’t text in this chat anymore.

 

**GILF:** Do

**GILF:** Not 

**GILF:** Tell 

**GILF:** Me 

**GILF:** What 

**GILF:** To 

**GILF:** Do.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** Hhahahahahhaha this is great

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** spirits, i can’t keep track of who is who

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** I’m Asami.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** Korra here.

 

**Buns of Steel:** Kuvira.

 

**Futch Queen:** Opal <3

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** Bolin.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** Your lady love.

 

**GILF:** Your mother you ungrateful child.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** I see Asami has been using her power as admin a little too much.

**Tiny Dick Twink:** Fuck you, Asami.

**Tiny Dick Twink:** Seriously, fuck you.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** MAKO ALWAYS HAS SUCH GREAT TIMING

 

**Futch Queen:** I’m crying oms oms oms ahahahhahahah

 

**Buns of Steel:** There’s really nothing wrong with being a twink.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** I AM A HUNK.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** Keep telling yourself that, Mako.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** I’m so glad Wu isn’t in this chat.

 

**Korra’s Uke Femme:** Excuse me, WE do not want him in the chat. WE chose to not include him.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** He’s really not all bad once you get to know him.

 

**Assami’s Eater:** K.

 

**Buns of Steel:** Sure.

 

**Kya’s Little Hoe:** I prefer my mom than Wu.

 

**Bara Hunk Brother:** yeah, Wu is kinda bleh.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** Yeah true.

 

**Futch Queen:** Some bf you are.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** I’m his bf i can say that.

 

**Gay Mother Nature:** You guys are such an odd couple but okay.

 

**Tiny Dick Twink:** Thanks…

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Katara:** Hi Toph, long time no ‘see’. ;) I can finally use a phone now. Hope we can chat soon. 

 

**Toph:** Did you just...oh my spirits you used my joke before me...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! Suggestions on Bolin’s situation? I’m not familiar with the ships with the Beifong Twins. Which twin is Bolin usually paired with? Both? Idk, let me know.
> 
> Also, I laughed so hard writing this. Oh my spirits, I laughed so hard.
> 
> Katara is finally making her appearance. Grandma vs Grandma?


	23. Katara get out before you lose your sanity

**Asami added Katara to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Toph:** FUCK NO

 

**Lin:** Thank you for changing the names.

 

**Asami:** It would be easier on Katara.

 

**Katara:** Hello, everyone! :)

 

**Korra:** Hi Grandma Katara

 

**Bolin:** Hey!

 

**Kuvira:** Yo.

 

**Toph:** Fuck off, Katara

 

**Kya:** Wow…

 

**Mako:** Rude.

 

**Bolin:** Bruh, why are you so against this?

 

**Toph:** There can be only one grandma in this chat and that is me.

 

**Asami:** Um?

**Asami:** I didn’t know that there was a one grandma rule?

 

**Katara:** Oh, Toph. So rowdy and grumpy as usual. *sighs*

 

**Korra:** So what have you been up to lately?

 

**Katara:** Just chillin. Doing watertribe things.

 

**Korra:** Mood.

 

**Asami:** This is one thing I never understand about the Water tribes, what in spirits do they do at the poles?

 

**Toph:** They’re boring little fuckers with nothing else to do except eat ice.

 

**Korra:** Don’t knock until you try it...

 

**Katara:** You just hate the cold.

 

**Toph:** So what if I do?

 

**Katara:** Did you guys know that my brother’s girlfriend rescued Toph from the water and Toph kissed her?

 

**Mako:** HAHAHA

 

**Bolin:** Toph can’t swim?

 

**Toph:** You try swimming in the dark and see if you last five minutes.

 

**Katara:** Ah, those were great times.

 

**Toph:** Yeah, cute. Can you leave the chat?

 

**Asami:** Why do you not want Katara in the chat? Isn’t she part of the original Avatar gang with you back in the day?

 

**Toph:** I’m the better grandma so this is my reign.

 

**Korra:** Since when did Toph gain some kind of territory with us?

 

**Kuvira:** It’s kinda an Earthbender thing.

 

**Asami:** Not as bad as the Fire Nation.

 

**Opal:** It all changed when they attacked.

 

**Asami:** With our damn hot fire looks and nice asses.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, chill Asami.

 

**Bolin:** You have like a quarter Earth blood in yah.

 

**Asami:** y’all just jealous

 

**Mako:** Guys, all we need to do is add Zuko and we have most of the surviving original Avatar team.

 

**Katara:** Oh fuck no.

 

**Toph:** Don’t you guys dare!

 

**Korra:** Spirits….

 

**Lin:** They have always been like this.

 

**Kya:** I never really understood why they never hang out or something.

 

**Katara:** Do you know how hard it was dealing with ‘shipping wars’ between me, Aang and Zuko?

 

**Toph:** It’s even worse with Sokka and people thinking that he’s Suyin’s dad.

 

**Bolin:** So….?

 

**Toph:** Fuck off.

 

**Asami:** That was a thing in your time?

 

**Katara:** Honey, shipping wars have been a thing forever. Just get a scroll and anyone can write fanfics.

**Katara:** I have nothing against the gays but do you know how weird it was finding a scroll about Sokka and Aang? Especially when I already had Kya and was on my way with Bumi?

 

**Kuvira:** Oh goodness.

 

**Toph:** Twinkles Toes was always paired off with everyone. It’s so weird.

 

**Opal:** I mean, we are pretty familiar with the fanfics that are written about us.

 

**Katara:** Easy for you to say. It’s nicer that people have ID names and aren’t accidently rolling an erotic scroll at your feet.

**Katara:** I wish there was a fine line between reality and fiction back in my day.

 

**Asami:** YES. THIS.

 

**Toph:** I agree. Now can you leave?

 

**Katara:** Oh come on, Toph. We haven’t spoken for ages.

 

**Toph:** I literally had tea and dumplings with you last week.

 

**Katara:** A week is a long time. I’m not getting any younger. I could die tomorrow.

 

**Kya:** Spirits...mom…

 

**Katara:** It’s true. So please make babies with the grumpy green woman.

 

**Toph:** It’s Lin.

 

**Lin:** Yep…

 

**Katara:** Lin is such a spitting image of you.

 

**Toph:** I could say the same for Kya.

 

**Katara:** I remember reading a fanfiction where our kids got together. This was before we even had any kids.

 

**Toph:** Oh so you did read them?

 

**Katara:** Some people are great writers.

 

**Opal:** True.

 

**Kuvira:** Ditto.

 

**Mako:** Ditto

 

**Asami:** Ya’ll are weird.

 

**Korra:** Says the one who keeps nsfw artwork of us…

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Mako:** lol what?

 

**Asami:** You do the same…

 

**Korra:** Only the ones that draw me with an eight pack

 

**Asami:** I swear you would sacrifice yourself for death for an eight pack like Kuvira’s.

 

**Korra:** Okay, you would do the same for an artwork of us having sex with my water bending skills

 

**Asami:** I need inspiration when I’m horny.

 

**Opal:** You two are fucking nasty

 

**Asami:** Okay vanilla girl.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira and i are still experimenting okay?

 

**Katara:** You guys are such newbies.

**Katara:** Ever heard of bloodboner?

 

**Mako:** I don’t ever want to hear that again.

 

**Bolin:** dear spirits...

 

**Kuvira:** You know how many artists can’t get my fucking eyebrows right?

**Kuvira:** Then they draw me looking like I have curves that make me too skinny.

**Kuvira:** I swear they draw my waist so small that I think I could break in half.

**Kuvira:** Also, there’s not enough artwork of Opal and I…

 

**Opal:** Homophobic…

 

**Asami:** At least you aren’t drawn oversexualized.

 

**Mako:** I like the artwork of mine

 

**Korra:** bc they give you a big dick.

 

**Mako:** so what….i don’t mind.

 

**Lin:** You guys are so fucking weird…

 

**Katara:** You guys do not want to know what I have been shipped with. Let’s just say I have been shipped with EVERYONE.

 

**Mako:** Even…?

 

**Katara:** Yes.

 

**Bolin:** Dear spirits…

 

**Toph:** cool. Now leave.

 

**Katara:** Why do you want me to leave?

 

**Toph:** I am the Alpha grandma of this pack.

 

**Asami:** What?

 

**Korra:** Huh?

 

**Opal:** Grandma is territorial...wow

 

**Kuvira:** Okay…

 

**Mako:** Can you not refer us as a pack?

 

**Bolin:** Legends against legends. Wow! I can’t believe I get to see this!

 

**Toph:** You know what legends get?

**Toph:** A nice, gorgeous, well made statue of us.

 

**Katara:** Oh my spirits...don’t you dare…

 

**Toph:** I love my statue. It looks amazing and heroic.

**Toph:** Aang has a nice one too.

**Toph:** Even Korra looks decent too.

 

**Asami:** You’re welcome, Korra.

 

**Korra:** Thanks babe.

 

**Toph:** Even Sokka has one.

**Toph:** You know who also has one?

 

**Katara: …**

 

**Toph:** The cabbage man.

 

**Katara left group chat “3.0”.**

 

**Korra:** I literally just got a text from my mom that Katara threw her phone after mucking about a stupid blind bitch.

 

**Kya:** I just bought her that phone…

 

**Lin:** That was harsh, chief. You know that triggers Katara a lot.

 

**Toph:** I am the Alpha GILF here.

 

**Lin:** No stop.

 

**Bolin:** HAHAHAHAHAH please stop...

 

**Kuvira:** I have no idea what just happen…?

 

**Asami:** I’m kinda sad...I was hoping she would stay in the chat.

 

**Toph:** Fuck no. 

 

**Korra:** We are never putting you two in a chat ever again.

 

**Opal:** Okay but like...you guys really had shipping wars in your days, grandma?

 

**Toph:** Luckily I don’t need to physically see it but everyone else did.

 

**Mako:** People are weird and creative.

 

**Asami:** *texts photo*

**Asami:** Here’s something to ruin your day, Mako.

 

**Mako:** FUCK YOU ASAMI.

**Mako:** I WILL NOT UNSEE THAT FUCK YOU

**Mako:** WHY DO YOU KEEP HATING ON ME LIKE THIS?

 

**Asami:** I have been through enough shit. Time to pass the torch.

 

**Mako:** Pass it to fucking Opal.

 

**Opal:** Fuck no!

 

**Mako:** *texts photo*

**Mako:** Everyone draws you like a twink.

 

**Opal:** first of all, that’s weird that you took the time to look up fanart of me

**Opal:** second, FUCK YOU I AM NOT A TWINK MAKO

**Opal:** Pass the torch to Lin, Korra, Bolin, or even Kya.

 

**Kya:** Oh Lin has been through enough. Pass it to Korra.

 

**Asami:** True...she hasn’t really been roasted.

 

**Bolin:** So has Kya.

 

**Kuvira:** And Bolin.

 

**Korra:** You guys are just easy to roast.

 

**Asami:** Unfair.

 

**Korra:** Love you~

 

**Kuvira:** Roast me?

 

**Lin:** Your eyebrows suck.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck you, I’m banging your niece.

 

**Lin:** This is why I don’t even try.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even Katara can’t handle the fuckery for five minutes and Toph is a pretty territorial grandma...
> 
> Everyone accepts and knows that their is fanfiction and fanart of them
> 
> Also this is, by no means, shaming any artists or writers. Purely what I think their reactions would be.
> 
> UPDATE: I forgot that Bumi is the oldest and not Kya. Just pretend that Katara forgot who came out first.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	24. Yeet

**Mako:** @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami

 

**Asami:** Oh my fucking spirits what!?

 

**Mako:** Korra wanted me to ask if you wanted anything for lunch?

 

**Asami:** ?? Why couldn’t Korra tell me herself? Or text/call me?

 

**Mako:** Korra is in the hospital.

 

**Asami:** Excuse me? What?

 

**Mako:** I mean, I’m happy about it. Bolin now owes me 20.

 

**Asami:** No, back up. Korra is in the hospital?

 

**Bolin:** So is Kuvira.

**Bolin:** @Kuvira why the fuck would you lose?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m sorry, I didn’t think Korra was stupid enough to just fucking stand there and let a ship drop on her.

 

**Asami:** Excuse me what??!!

 

**Bolin:** This is the same girl who spiritbended to save your life. The same stubborn avatar that would fight you one on one in front of your entire army.

 

**Kuvira:** She’s so stubborn that she would torment me into dropping that ship on her.

 

**Korra:** Worth it.

 

**Asami:** babe what the fuck happen?

 

**Bolin:** How are you texting? Kuvira broke all your bones.

 

**Korra:** Kya healed my hands and she’s working on my legs, I’m good.

 

**Mako:** @Asami, do you still want anything for lunch?

 

**Asami:** WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME THAT?

 

**Mako:** I’m at the noodle place right now.

 

**Asami:** Oh, then I want pork ramen.

 

**Korra:** Get me the deluxe noodles with lots of meat.

 

**Mako:** Sure, anyone else?

 

**Kuvira:** Can I get the pho with veggies?

 

**Mako:** Got it.

 

**Bolin:** i just want their rice plate with egg rolls

 

**Mako:** On the list.

 

**Opal:** Get me their bok choy special.

**Opal:** I’m at the drink place on market street. What do you guys want?

 

**Korra:** Get me the papaya drink.

 

**Asami:** Same.

 

**Bolin:** Ditto

 

**Mako:** Ditto.

 

**Korra:** Kya wants the vegetarian egg noodle soup with avocado drink.

 

**Opal:** Got it.

 

**Mako:** Sure.

**Mako:** @Toph you want anything?

 

**Toph:** I’m good thanks.

 

**Lin:** I’m sorry. The ports are all crushed because Kuvira thought it was a fucking great idea to raise an abandon ship over Korra and dropping it on her. I have phone calls through the roof. Korra had all of her bones broken and Kuvira pulled a muscle in her back. How are you all just fucking ordering lunch right now?

 

**Asami:** I want to have lunch. I’ve been working all morning since 4am. Now i want to know what happen to land korra in the hospital.

 

**Opal:** Asami, it was hilarious. Oh my spirits.

 

**Korra:** I really did not think you were going to do it, Kuvira.

 

**Kuvira:** I was once the Great Uniter. Why would you think I wouldn’t stay true to my words?

 

**Lin:** You destroyed thousands of money of property damages!!

 

**Mako:** Worth it for my 20 bucks. Thanks Kuvira.

 

**Kuvira:** No problem.

 

**Bolin:** Fuck you, bro.

 

**Asami:** What did happen?

 

**Opal:** So Kuvira and Korra hung out, later me, mako and bolin came, and they started practicing their metalbending. Soon they had a competition to see who can lift the heaviest metal object. Long story short, they got around to an abandon ship.

**Opal:** Hold on, I got the video.

 

**Mako:** NICE YOU RECORDED IT!

 

**Lin:** You do realize I can use this in court?

 

**Kuvira:** Worth it.

 

**Opal:** *texts video*

 

**Asami:** Oh my fucking spirits…

**Asami:** KUVIRA I HAVE A NEWFOUND RESPECT FOR YOU LITTLE SCAMP

 

**Lin:** Are you fucking kidding me?!

 

**Toph:** I’m sorry, oms. Did Kuvira really say, “This bitch empty. Yeet.”?

 

**Korra:** It was beautiful! She waved the boat over me, said ‘this bitch empty’ in the most calmest tone. And then says yeet with a smirk and drops it.

**Korra:** A masterpiece

 

**Kuvira:** Thank you, everyone. I’m here all week.

 

**Mako:** Spirits, it’s more hilarious when she even looks at the camera and does the eyebrow wave!

 

**Bolin:** Okay, this was worth losing 20 bucks.

 

**Lin:** I can’t believe this…

**Lin:** You are all adults! Can’t you guys act like one!?

 

**Asami:** Okay, for once, I’m not involved in this. I had work.

 

**Lin:** You are enjoying it way too much with that fucking video.

 

**Asami:** Wow, CEOs can laugh and have fun too.

 

**Lin:** You are one wild and dangerous CEO…

 

**Asami:** I mean, what do you expect from us? We are all in our early twenties. Do you know what people usually do in their 20s? College.

 

**Mako:** What the fuck is that?

 

**Bolin:** Never heard of it.

 

**Opal:** Sounds boring.

 

**Lin:** Oh, okay Asami. Stop showing off that you didn’t go to college and got to be CEO bc of your dad.

 

**Asami:** Actually I did. I have a masters and everything. I’m actually very capable to be an engineer and a CEO. In fact I’m overqualified.

 

**Kuvira:** Same I went to college too.

 

**Opal:** Wtf? Really?

 

**Korra:** How did you go to college?

 

**Asami:** my dad just enrolled me into college courses when I was like 12 and then finished by the time i was 18.

 

**Kuvira:** I got into this program that allowed me to take college courses as I grew up.

 

**Bolin:** Weren’t you a dancer?

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah?

 

**Bolin:** So you danced and studied college classes?

 

**Kuvira:** Yep.

 

**Bolin:** All before you met us???

 

**Kuvira:** Correct.

 

**Mako:** Mind blown.

 

**Kuvira:** Did you guys think I was prancing around Zaofu in a tutu before becoming the Great Uniter?

 

**Bolin:** Yeah.

 

**Kuvira:** Wow, did you guys think I just left and made an army out of thin air?

 

**Bolin:** Yeah.

 

**Kuvira:** You were with me…

 

**Bolin:** Hey, i didn’t go to college.

 

**Opal:** wow. We learn new things everyday! Asami and Kuvira went to college.

 

**Korra:** Okay but I trained to become the Avatar my whole life so...that’s college like.

 

**Lin:** No. It isn’t.

**Lin:** Well, Kuvira, since you claim you went to college, Why the fuck are you so fucking brash and throwing ships at Korra?

 

**Kuvira:** First of all, it was a dare. Second of all, Mako had money on me and I wasn’t going to let a homie down. Third, I am a noble woman of my word. Fourth, it was for the memes.

 

**Lin:** What the fuck is a meme?

 

**Kuvira:** A meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture—often with the aim of conveying a particular phenomenon, theme, or meaning represented by the meme. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols, or practices, that can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals, or other imitable phenomena with a mimicked theme. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate, mutate, and respond to selective pressures. 

 

**Mako:** I lost you at ‘meme’.

 

**Bolin:** Wow, she really did go to college.

 

**Asami:** I would like to add.

**Asami:** Proponents theorize that memes are a viral phenomenon that may evolve by natural selection in a manner analogous to that of biological evolution. Memes do this through the processes of variation, mutation, competition, and inheritance, each of which influences a meme's reproductive success. Memes spread through the behavior that they generate in their hosts. Memes that propagate less prolifically may become extinct, while others may survive, spread, and (for better or for worse) mutate. Memes that replicate most effectively enjoy more success, and some may replicate effectively even when they prove to be detrimental to the welfare of their hosts. 

 

**Korra:** Huh?

 

**Opal:** If this is college, then this is way too hard to understand.

 

**Kuvira:** Excellent addition, Asami. I would conclude.

**Kuvira:** A field of study called memetics arose in 165AG to explore the concepts and transmission of memes in terms of an evolutionary model. Criticism from a variety of fronts has challenged the notion that academic study can examine memes empirically. However, developments in neuroimaging may make empirical study possible. Some commentators in the social sciences question the idea that one can meaningfully categorize culture in terms of discrete units, and are especially critical of the biological nature of the theory's underpinnings. Others have argued that this use of the term is the result of a misunderstanding of the original proposal.

 

**Lin:** I have a headache.

 

**Kya:** Guys, Asami and Kuvira are literally copy and pasting from the Biki. I’m reading the page right now.

 

**Asami:** College is a great place to learn how to find, master, and use the easy way out.

 

**Lin:** No, it’s fucking cheating.

 

**Kuvira:** Sounds like someone didn’t get on the Dean’s list.

 

**Lin:** Fuck you.

**Lin:** And I’m going to have to bring you to court before the public for causing so much property damages.

 

**Opal:** You do realize that the video is online and everyone loves it.

 

**Lin:** Excuse me, what?!

 

**Opal:** I posted it online and it already has a million views.

 

**Mako:** Kuvira is a star.

 

**Korra:** the people at the port found it hilarious. They say that it was worth it and don’t mind.

 

**Lin:** What…

 

**Bolin:** Dude, even Raiko shared it on his page. He got a kick out of it.

 

**Mako:** So we are good, no one is getting sued?

 

**Asami:** sure looks like it.

 

**Lin:** So that’s it!? Kuvira and Korra ruin a port with their stupid dare and no one is sued?

 

**Kya:** Yep.

 

**Lin:** I can’t fucking believe this.

 

**Toph:** Back in my day, you would get your hands chopped off so this is a great improvement.

 

**Lin:** I swear to god, Kuvira, if we lived in my mom’s times, I would fucking choke you.

 

**Kuvira:** Yes, mommy. Choke me harder.

 

**Opal:** STOP STOP AHHHH OMGS I SPILLED OUR DRINKS AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

**Mako:** KUVIRA OMS PLEASE MY STOMACH HURTS

 

**Kya:** I AM DEAD AAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

**Korra:** I AM SO GLAD SHE IS RELEASED FROM PRISON. SHE’S THE BEST ADDITION TO THE TEAM.

 

**Asami:** AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA KUVIRA I AM SCREAMING

 

**Bolin:** AFJJHKJFHLKSHFJHLSFUWIHSDGKJ

 

**Toph:** This group is fucking weird. I love it.

 

**Lin:** @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami @Asami

**Lin:** LET ME LEAVE THIS FUCKING HELL.

 

**Asami:** Nope. This is hilarious.

 

**Kya:** I love you guys so much.

 

**Mako:** I just walked by the police station and I think Lin threw her phone at the wall.

 

**Korra:** We broke her.

 

**Asami:** Kuvira broke her.

 

**Kuvira:** She’s the one with poorly chosen words.

 

**Opal:** Can we get married so you can ruin my mom’s life too?

 

**Kuvira:** I think we would ruin it by getting married.

 

**Kya:** Oh I love weddings!

 

**Opal:** Kya, be our flower girl.

 

**Kya:** YAY

 

**Toph:** Finally, more Beifongs.

 

**Asami:** I’m surprised you really want more, Toph.

 

**Toph:** I gotta show Katara who has the better family. Now it would be even better if Kya and Lin marry and I can rub it in Katara’s face when Kya becomes an official Beifong.

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Suyin:** What in the world is your Auntie so mad about? She called on our landline and screamed for 4 hours and I still have no idea what she’s talking about.

 

**Opal:** Oh nothing.

**Opal:** By the way, Kuvira and I are getting married and Kya is our flower girl.

  
**Suyin:** WHAT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because Lin broke her phone doesn’t mean she is going to escape...
> 
> Biki = Wiki
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	25. Izumi’s daughter who?????

**Asami added Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami secured Lin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** No. Please. I just got a new number to avoid this.

 

**Asami:** lol

 

**Kya:** Too bad, honey.

 

**Toph:** Beifongs stick together.

 

**Lin:** I do not want to hear that from you of all people.

 

**Kuvira:** What’s up, Lin?

 

**Lin:** Fuck you.

 

**Kuvira:** Alright. *spreads legs*

 

**Opal:** auntie, you literally set that up for yourself.

 

**Lin:** Please stop.

 

**Mako:** hahaha, this is gold

 

**Lin:** You know what. I’m going to be calm. We have the Fire Lord visiting Republic City today and I will be escorting her. So can you all do yourself a favor and not cause a scene.

 

**Korra:** We will try. No promises.

 

**Lin:** I guess I’ll accept that…

 

**Toph:** Oh? Izumi is coming? Wow, I haven’t seen that girl in so long.

 

**Mako:** You can’t see.

 

**Toph:** Fuck off.

 

**Opal:** Oh, is that Iroh II’s mother?

 

**Lin:** Correct and she is not a woman that enjoys making stupid jokes and causing havoc. So behave.

 

**Kuvira:** Meh. We can try.

 

**Kya:** Doesn’t she have a daughter?

 

**Asami:** I guess she’s not memorable.

 

**Mako:** *texts photo*

**Mako:** I tried looking it up. There’s no photo of her and all it says is Izumi’s daughter.

 

**Korra:** Wow. The Internet doesn’t find her interesting.

 

**Mako:** Has anyone seen her?

 

**Asami:** Strangely no...

 

**Opal:** Yet there are many articles about her?

 

**Kuvira:** What is with unmentioned parents and children?

 

**Lin:** @Toph

 

**Toph:** Why do you care who Suyin’s father is? At least you know your father’s name is Kanto.

 

**Lin:** Sigh.

**Lin:** Well, I have to go but please don’t cause any scenes while she’s here. She’s actually one of the more respected leaders and I don’t need her looking down at us.

 

**Mako:** Zuko is her dad, right?

 

**Lin:** Yes?

 

**Mako:** Out of all the original Avatar’s children, she came out on top. Huh?

 

**Opal:** WOW THAT WAS MEAN

 

**Mako:** *shrugs*

 

**Kya:** You almost made Lin break her phone again. You’re lucky I stopped her. I am getting tired of buying new phones.

**Kya:** And rude. Izumi isn’t all that great.

 

**Asami:** You dated her, huh?

**Asami:** I can literally hear your gay sarcasm through that last text.

 

**Kya:** It was one date and she ruined it.

 

**Korra:** How?

 

**Kya:** She knows what she did and I prefer not to share.

 

**Kuvira:** Suit yourself.

 

**Bolin:** GUYS

 

**Mako:** Look who’s late to the party.

 

**Bolin:** I just read something mind blowing!

 

**Asami:** Anything blows your mind. How else were you the last person to think Kuvira was a douche tyrant dictator?

 

**Kuvira:** I thought we got over those times…

 

**Bolin:** I read a crazy theory that Kuvira and Asami could be related because they have the same part in their hair.

 

**Asami:** That is stupid.

 

**Kuvira:** Idiocy.

 

**Bolin:** AND both women have great looks, with great eyebrows. They are both smart. And with chances that Asami has Earth blood in her, it’s not too far fetch that they could be cousins or distant family.

 

**Kuvira:** Huh. Keep going.

 

**Asami:** UM? No. We are not related.

 

**Korra:** Sounds convincing to me.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira, what do you remember of your parents?

 

**Kuvira:** Literally nothing. I was so young.

 

**Mako:** I really don’t think Asami and Kuvira are related. They are two almost vastly distinct nationalities.

 

**Kya:** Um? Have you seen yourself and your own brother?

 

**Mako:** Oh….okay….that changes a lot of things.

 

**Korra:** Even if Kuvira and Asami had a slight chance that they are related, it wouldn’t solve who were Kuvira’s parents.

 

**Asami:** To be clear, my parents were only childs.

 

**Kuvira:** Oh darn.

 

**Bolin:** Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

**Bolin:** Hey, did you guys know that the fire lord is coming?

 

**Korra:** Yeah that has been already established.

 

**Bolin:** OH MY SPIRITS ANOTHER THEORY

 

**Toph:** Please stop.

 

**Bolin:** What if Kuvira is Fire Lord Izumi’s daughter??!!

 

**Korra:** This is, by far, the stupidest thing you have ever said.

 

**Asami:** Truly the dumbest. 

 

**Bolin:** HEAR ME OUT

**Bolin:** No one knows who Izumi’s daughter looks like, nor her name, nor anything about her.

**Bolin:** Izumi was the only one that was against taking her people to fight Kuvira. The only one.

**Bolin:** Kuvira having no parents?

**Bolin:** And news and questions of Izumi’s daughter sprung out of nowhere.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m an Earthbender, Bolin.

 

**Bolin:** HOLD ON

**Bolin:** What if that was the reason and that’s why she abandoned you?

**Bolin:** What if she didn’t want an Earthbender as a daughter and casted you out.

**Bolin:** But the guilt of abandoning her daughter was so strong that she casually established that she had one

**Bolin:** No one questioned her bc she’s badass and hence we have the title ‘Izumi’s daughter’

 

**Opal:** This Izumi sounds like a dick.

 

**Kya:** Well, the past Fire Lords before Zuko have been dicks…

 

**Bolin:** Then when Kuvira rose to power, Izumi was like ‘oh shit’

**Bolin:** ‘That’s my kid. I abandoned her years ago. Fuck.’

**Bolin:** ‘Well, they are going to ask me to fight her and I don’t wanna fight my only daughter.’

**Bolin:** Boom. The true reason why she wasn’t willing to fight against Kuvira.

 

**Asami:** this is ridiculous.

 

**Korra:** She was the only one that didn’t want to fight Kuvira…

 

**Asami:** You’re actually buying this?

 

**Opal:** It’s entertaining.

 

**Korra:** Well, it’s not like we are just going to walk up and ask her.

 

XXX

 

**Kuvira:** @Lin, before you get mad at me. (Because you always pick me to yell at.) None of us thought Bolin would just walk up and ask her.

 

**Lin:** I want to put you guys under the knife and study how your brains function to be so fucking stupid.

 

**Asami:** Excuse me, it was just bolin who did it.

 

**Kya:** Do you have a medical kink, Lin?

 

**Lin:** Why am I dating you…?

 

**Kya:** Cuz im so fucking cute.

 

**Mako:** her face was hilarious when Bolin straight up asked if Kuvira was her daughter.

 

**Opal:** And then her actual daughter was right there, gawking at him

 

**Asami:** Of all the times she finally appears, it’s when we question her validity.

 

**Korra:** aw man, i love bolin and his lack of shame

 

**Bolin:** Hey, someone had to ask.

 

**Lin:** Base on a stupid theory of yours? No.

 

**Bolin:** Um, she got a kick out of it. Told me that was far fetched but would make for an interesting story line.

 

**Toph:** She’s a really chill person underneath her cold exterior.

 

**Kya:** Sure…

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Izumi:** Hey? Kya? Was that really you at the event?

 

**Kya:** How dare you have the audacity to contact me when you haven’t for over 40 years. Not that I even want to talk to you again.

 

**Izumi:** Kya, I’m sorry, but we are older and mature women. I’ve changed.

 

**Kya:** No. Once you do that, you can never be respected again. You’re lucky it was me and I don’t go spreading the truth around.

 

**Izumi:** Are you really going to hold a grudge against me? 

 

**Kya:** Yes I can and I will.

 

**Izumi:** Can’t we at least be friends?

 

**Kya:** Why would I want to be friends with a woman that wore socks and sandals on a first date?!

 

**Izumi:** I thought it was a good look at the time.

 

**Kya:** No one does that! It beats the purpose of wearing sandals!

 

**Izumi:** Spirits, I’m guessing Lin doesn’t do that.

 

**Kya:** Lin has class.

 

**Izumi:** Okay, you’re not wrong.

**Izumi:** I’m happy for you two. :)

 

**Kya:** Thank you…

 

**Izumi:** Can’t we at least catch up? You can bring Lin.

**Izumi:** Remember when the three of us hung out?

**Izumi:** Fun times. :)

 

**Kya:** Maybe.

 

**Izumi:** Yay! :)

**Izumi:** I can bring boxed wine.

 

**Kya:** Excuse me?

 

**Izumi:** You know, boxed wine?

**Izumi:** We can save on cups.

 

**Kya: …**

 

**Izumi:** I’ll need a straw for mine. I can’t drink wine without a straw.

 

**Kya:** Let's just have water in a cup. Okay?

 

**Izumi:** Sure, whatever you want.

**Izumi:** By the way, why was Lin looking so stressed and mad at the event today?

 

**Kya:** She deals with a horny millionaire CEO, the Avatar that is dumb and oblivious, her niece that is sleeping with a criminal, a criminal that has a really nice looking ass, a dumb firebender that doesn’t understand how being gay works, her own mom that guilt trips her, and a Earthbender that has no shame. And there’s me, her girlfriend.

 

**Izumi:** That’s rough, buddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need more info on Izumi and her unarmed daughter because I love them so much.
> 
> Anyways, I won’t be able to update for a long time around the beginning of August, due to vacations and other work obligations, so I’ll try my best to squeeze a few more chapters before then. 
> 
> Speed Round: Who else should I add that I haven’t add bc I suck at remembering to add them?


	26. Desna and Eska are weird af

**Opal:** Yo, Bolin.

**Opal:** What the actual fuck?

**Opal:** You are messing with me, right?

**Opal:** Kuvira and I can see you. 

**Opal:** Bitch you did me dirty.

 

**Asami:** What’s up suga?

 

**Opal:** So you know how I offered my brothers for Bolin?

 

**Korra:** Yah?

 

**Mako:** He was talking to them, right?

 

**Opal:** Yeah, he is. 

**Opal:** Now usually, I’m not one to intervene with one’s dating life but 

**Opal:** @Bolin WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WOMAN YOU’RE ON A DATE WITH?

 

**Korra:** Describe her.

 

**Opal:** She looks like you if you were emo.

 

**Korra:** Oh fuck...Eska?

**Korra:** My cousin?

 

**Asami:** Woah…

 

**Mako:** dude, Opal, did you know she was his fiancé once?

 

**Opal:** Da faq?

**Opal:** Is that her sister next to her?

**Opal:** *texts photo*

 

**Korra:** Oh that’s Desna.

 

**Opal:** So sister?

 

**Korra:** Well, he’s actually male but he might be androgynous and identify as non-binary? Idk. I don’t really talk to them as much.

 

**Opal:** @Bolin, are you dating them both?

**Opal:** bc like come on, my brothers are better looking than them.

**Opal:** No offense Korra

 

**Korra:** I’m just as shock that Bolin is on the date with them…

 

**Asami:** @Bolin? What are you thinking? Eska is terrifying.

 

**Bolin added Desna and Eska to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Bolin:** Sorry, they took my phone.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, again. Friends of Bolin.

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, cousin Korra.

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, Korra’s sexy femme slut.

 

**Asami:** Wait...what?

 

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, eyebrow freak, brother of our darling Bolin.

 

**Mako:** Um...hi?

 

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, bowl head gem.

 

**Opal:** It’s Opal. It’s just Opal.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Hello, ex-girlfriend boss of Bolin.

 

**Kuvira:** Is that me?

 

**Desna and Eska:** Who else?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m sorry, I didn’t date Bolin.

 

**Bolin:** Oh, they mistaken you as my girlfriend when I worked under you.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Kuvira. We are intimidated by your muscular frame and hunk body. Please do not engage yourself closer to us. Keep to the other side of the restaurant.

 

**Kuvira:** Thanks? And okay? I’m just eating my noodles...

 

**Opal:** You two act as if we will sabotage your date…

 

**Desna and Eska:** We will not risk any harm to our turtle dove.

 

**Asami:** Is no one going to mention that these two share one phone number?

 

**Desna and Eska:** Asami Sato, Korra’s concubine, we would like to ask you to refrain physical contact with Bolin from now on, since we are engaging in a date for the potential rekindle of our love.

 

**Korra:** That’s my girlfriend, not my concubine.

 

**Asami:** Rude little shits…

 

**Mako:** Bolin, please reconsider…

 

**Desna and Eska:** Bolin is busy with eating. We prefer peace and solitude while we feast. Obviously it was ruin by the twink monkey in the room.

 

**Opal:** I’m sorry, what? Excuse me!?

 

**Desna and Eska:** We know you had a previous relationship with our dear Bolin.  We have no desire to be kind to you, twink monk.

 

**Opal:** Okay, I’m sorry that I was taken aback by Bolin dating you two but he’s my friend so you’re going to have to deal with that.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Friends from lovers? That just spells out needy, little naked mole rat.

 

**Opal:** Maybe we can be tolerate of each other if you stop calling me names.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Okay, weakest member of the Beifong family.

 

**Opal:** …

 

**Desna and Eska:** Anyone can blow air and wave it around. It would be much cooler if you could metalbend like the rest of your family.

 

**Korra:** Okay, not true. Airbending is pretty badass...

 

**Opal:** Correction, Bataar Jr is a non bender so I feel like I can’t be the weakest.

 

**Desna and Eska:** He was with the hunk of Kuvira, he had more power than you.

 

**Opal:** I’m dating Kuvira now…

 

**Desna and Eska:** A poor choice on her part.

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** I CAN’T EVEN TAKE A FUCKING VACATION WITHOUT YOU GUYS FUCKING UP??

 

**Asami:** Okay, wow! Blame it on all of us, I guess.

 

**Korra:** It was literally just Opal, Desna and Eska, me, Bolin, and Mako.

 

**Lin:** WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING KUVIRA?

 

**Kuvira:** Wow, okay. Yell and call me out…

**Kuvira:** I was eating my noodles.

 

**Lin:** So you couldn’t fucking stop your girlfriend from rampaging on those water tribe twins?!

 

**Kuvira:** My dear Opal was insulted and she had every right to defend herself.

**Kuvira:** She even encouraged me to finish my noodles before she ran off.

 

**Opal:** I wasn’t going to pull my baby from her meal. That would be rude of me.

 

**Kuvira:** You’re so considerate, Opal. <3

 

**Opal:** <3 Anything for you, Vee~

 

**Kya:** I can’t stop laughing at this.

**Kya:** Opal, hanging the twins off the highest building of Republic City is fucking gold.

 

**Lin:** Kya, please don’t encourage her…

 

**Desna and Eska:** We have underestimated you, Opal, ex-lover of Bolin.

 

**Lin:** Why are you two texting while hanging?

 

**Desna and Eska:** There is nothing else to do up here.

 

**Lin:** Can you get down?

 

**Desna and Eska:** We can but…

 

**Lin:** But what?

 

**Desna and Eska:** We have a fear of heights and we are tied up quite well.

 

**Lin:** Opal, please take them down.

 

**Opal:** No.

 

**Lin:** Oh my fucking spirits…

 

**Mako:** Can we just leave them up there?

 

**Korra:** I can easily find another chief for the watertribe.

 

**Asami:** Opal, where did you learn those rope tying skills? You really secured them.

 

**Opal:** I’ve been practicing from this book I found.

 

**Asami:** Oh? Have you found an interest in rope bondage?

 

**Opal:** I have but Kuvira is trying to get a handle of it.

 

**Kuvira:** It’s easier with metal wirings but those will hurt Opal’s skin.

 

**Opal:** So I’m trying to learn so I can teach her.

 

**Asami:** Well, I’m proud you two are branching out.

 

**Opal: :)**

 

**Lin:** This really isn’t the fucking time for this.

 

**Kya:** The twins are fine, they are just chilling up there.

 

**Desna and Eska:** No, we are not. Please let us down.

 

**Lin:** We will. I’m so sorry about this.

 

**Bolin:** Can you leave them there a little longer?

 

**Mako:** Why did you go on a date with them?

 

**Bolin:** Look, I never even consented. They just threaten me…

 

**Korra:** That’s not new with them…

 

**Asami:** I’m sure they’ll learn their lesson if we let them hang.

 

**Desna and Eska:** Please let us down. We are terrified and oddly aroused.

 

**Asami:** Damn, Opal, you did good.

 

**Opal:** ;)

 

**Toph:** I regret taking my nap because I missed so much goodness.

 

**Lin:** You were asleep the entire time?

 

**Toph:** I’m fucking old, I need my naps to keep up with this group’s fuckery.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Kuvira:** Hey, Eska, don’t struggling or you’re going to slip.

 

**Desna and Eska:** I am Desna.

 

**Mako:** How can we tell? You two share the same damn phone…

 

**Asami:** My workers are getting a kick out of this.

 

**Lin:** CAN ANY OF YOU GUYS JUST HELP THEM DOWN OR HELP ME GET THEM DOWN?

 

**Korra:** Oops, sorry. I’m already on the other side of the city.

 

**Bolin:** Just bought a one way ticket to Zaofu.

 

**Mako:** On a date with Wu.

 

**Asami:** Back to work.

 

**Toph:** Taking my second nap.

 

**Opal:** Finishing my lunch date with Vee.

 

**Kuvira:** Eating my noodles.

 

**Kya:** I’ll help.

 

**Lin:** Oh my fucking spirits you guys are so insane…

 

**Desna and Eska:** We can not feel circulation in our arms. Please hurry.

 

**Kya:** I’m surprised you can even text with your arms twisted up like that…

 

**Opal removed Desna and Eska from group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** Opal…

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Lin:** Why are you like this?

 

**Opal:** Why are you so cranky?

 

**Korra:** Just shove needles in her and she’ll be fine.

 

**Kya:** I’m trying, give me more time.

 

**Lin:** KYA

 

**Kya:** Tee hee.

 

**Asami:** Kinky…? 

 

**Mako:** No, that’s morbid.

 

**Kya:** Sorry, bad timing.

 

**Bolin:** Dude, just saw Raiko. He saw the twins and then turned around and left.

 

**Korra:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

**Lin:** HE IS DONE WITH YOUR GUY’S BULLSHIT

 

**Asami:** He has every right to be.

 

**Lin:** Why can’t you guys be normal fucking adults?

 

**Kuvira:** We are fucking, you’re not wrong.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits...not what I meant.

 

**Korra:** Okay but you put the word in there.

 

**Lin:** Why can’t you guys try to be normal adults?

 

**Opal:** We have to try? 

 

**Mako:** Sounds too tiring.

 

**Kya:** It is.

 

**Korra:** We saved the world so much, cut us some slack.

 

**Lin:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN HANG POLITICAL LEADERS OFF THE BUILDING IN SOME ROPE FETISH STYLE

 

**Korra:** Desna and Eska are far from being called political leaders.

 

**Asami:** And don’t kinkshame rope bondage. It’s fun when it’s done right.

 

**Kya:** Oh babe, don’t cut the rope from there.

**Kya:** Nevermind.

 

**Toph:** Wow, Desna can moan. I heard that from my swamp.

 

**Asami:** I have never seen Lin’s face grow that red.

**Asami:** Oh, I see her coming down.

**Asami:** *texts photo*

 

**Opal:** Auntie Lin looks so done.

 

**Kuvira:** She knows she has to suck it up and come back up to get them down.

 

**Mako:** I know. Lol.

 

**Lin:** If anyone needs me, I’ll be getting an acupuncture.

 

**Korra:** We know that’s code for “I’m going to have sex with Kya to release some steam”

 

**Lin:** Fuck off.

 

**Kya:** FINALLY

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to bully Lin a bit more...
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	27. Sleepover fuckery

**Bolin:** Why can’t we come?

 

**Opal:** Quit whining, omfs

 

**Mako:** Why do you guys get to have a party?

 

**Asami:** For the hundredth fucking time, it’s a GIRL’S sleepover. Not a party.

 

**Bolin:** Sexist.

 

**Asami:** It’s not sexist. I’m sure you and Mako have a night with your bros

 

**Mako:** sure but like, why does toph get to come?

 

**Korra:** Bc she’s a girl?

 

**Bolin:** Wow, don’t just assume her gender. Maybe I’m a girl too.

 

**Toph:** I’m a fucking woman you whiny shits.

 

**Kuvira:** Bolin, you are more than welcome to identify yourself as a woman but do you really feel like you are a woman?

 

**Bolin:** No…

 

**Mako:** Don’t you think it’s weird that your grandma is having a sleepover with you, Opal?

 

**Korra:** Um?

**Korra:** This ain’t just any regular grandma.

**Korra:** It’s Toph fucking Beifong. Part of the original Team Avatar.

 

**Toph:** That’s my name, don’t wear it out.

 

**Asami:** Mako, I would be more than welcome to invite your grandma to sleepover if that makes you feel better.

 

**Mako:** Please no. My grandma is a pure cinnamon roll. You’ll all taint her.

 

**Opal:** Wow, we aren’t that bad.

 

**Bolin:** What makes a girl’s sleepover different from a regular sleepover.

**Bolin:** Like, we all had sleepovers before.

 

**Asami:** When our lives were constantly in danger and we had to protect Korra. I wouldn’t say we can call it sleepovers.

 

**Mako:** But we slept within a radius of each other so it kinda counts?

 

**Korra:** Not really.

 

**Kuvira:** Do you two really want to be around when we talk about girl stuff?

 

**Bolin:** We know you guys bleed every month. It’s nothing new.

 

**Asami:** Yet you wouldn’t grab me a tampon from my purse when I asked for one…

 

**Korra:** Or the time you two scream at a unused pad on the ground…

 

**Kuvira:** And the period of time you thought the tampon goes in the nose.

 

**Opal:** I have no idea why on earth you two would think that.

 

**Mako:** We’ve grown since.

 

**Asami:** Well if it makes you feel better, Lin and Kya aren’t coming.

 

**Lin:** Bc I don’t want to come. I need a vacation away from all of you guys.

 

**Kya:** I’ll miss you girls but I wanna spend quality time with my bae.

 

**Bolin:** Okay but like, can’t we drop by?

 

**Asami:** Why are you two so obsessed with us?

 

**Korra:** Like...chill

 

**Mako:** We’re bored.

 

**Opal:** You have Wu and Bolin has Pabu

 

**Bolin:** Pabu is just Pabu

 

**Mako:** Wu has work to do.

 

**Kuvira:** He works?

 

**Korra:** Lol okay Mako

 

**Mako:** fine, you know what. Enjoy your night. Have fun. We’ll see you tomorrow.

 

**Bolin:** Uh okay? Bye?

 

**Asami:** Thanks~

 

**Korra:** Have fun you two.

 

**Opal:** Later.

 

XXX

 

**Mako created group chat.**

 

**Mako added Lin, Kya, and Bolin to group chat.**

 

**Mako named group chat as “Sabotage”**

 

**Lin:** Oh hell no.

 

**Mako:** Hell yes.

 

**Bolin:** LOVE THIS

 

**Kya:** OMS YES

 

**Lin:** Um??? No. We are not going to do anything.

 

**Mako:** You don’t even know what I’m going to do.

 

**Lin:** Base on that fucking title, I have a good idea of what.

 

**Mako:** Hear me out.

 

**Bolin:** I’m so ready.

 

**Kya:** EEEEE

 

**Mako:** Lube and balloons

 

**Kya:** Already love it.

 

**Bolin:** hahahahahah yes yes

 

**Lin:** Where the fuck are you getting lube?

 

**Mako:** I know a guy.

 

**Kya:** It’s Varrick, huh?

 

**Mako:** No

 

**Bolin:** He’s calling Varrick.

 

**Lin:** Why the fuck would Varrick have lube laying around his house?

 

**Kya:** this is Varrick, why would he not?

 

**Mako added Varrick to group chat “Sabotage”**

 

**Varrick:** If it’s lube you need, I got gallons of it.

 

**Lin:** I’m afraid to ask but...why??

 

**Varrick:** How else do I stop the gears to squeak??

 

**Kya:** Just take that answer, honey. 

 

**Lin:** Fine.

**Lin:** But I want no part of this.

 

**Mako:** Come on, Lin. 

**Mako:** Haven’t you ever just want to get back at the girls?

 

**Lin:** Yeah but not like this.

 

**Bolin:** It’s not illegal, it’s silly, and you get to ruin Asami’s hair.

 

**Lin:** Why the fuck would I care about ruining Asami’s hair?

 

**Mako:** Have you seen her hair?

 

**Kya:** It’s like she was blessed by the Fire Hair Gods.

 

**Lin:** The what?

 

**Bolin:** You do know Asami was placed as first as Republic City’s Sexiest Hair for Females.

 

**Lin:** That’s a thing?

 

**Mako:** What do you do for fun…?

 

**Lin:** I work like a law abiding citizen.

 

**Varrick:** Okay but less of that and have more fun. Besides it’s a harmless prank. It’s not like we are lighting people on fire.

 

**Bolin:** Imagine Korra trying to fight back but the lube makes it harder. She’ll be slipping and sliding everywhere.

 

**Kya:** Or Kuvira trying to metal bend but she’s slipping and sliding.

 

**Mako:** As well as Opal.

 

**Lin:** WHY?

 

**Varrick:** Aren’t you tired of being disrespected? Cursed at? Humiliated at? Just once, don’t you want to get the girls back and show them that you aren’t the butt of the joke?

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** When do we start?

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** VERY FUCKING MATURE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, LIN

 

**Opal:** AUNTIE LIN WHYYYY

 

**Toph:** YOU FUCKING TRAITOR 

 

**Kuvira:** YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF THE BEIFONG FAMILY.

 

**Korra:** HOW COULD YOU, LIN?

 

**Lin:** WHY IS EVERYONE ATTACKING ME?

 

**Asami:** I expected it from Mako and Bolin!

 

**Korra:** AND EVEN VARRICK

 

**Toph:** Kya would follow along.

 

**Opal:** BUT YOU?

 

**Kuvira:** Fucking traitor.

 

**Lin:** I don’t want to hear that from you of all people!

 

**Asami:** You ruin my fucking hair!

 

**Opal:** You ruin Asami’s hair!

 

**Korra:** Asami’s hair is ruin!

 

**Kuvira:** Why the hair? It was innocent.

 

**Toph:** The silky hair is now a lump of lube.

 

**Lin:** oh my fucking spirits….

 

**Asami:** How the fuck am I supposed to get all this lube out?!

 

**Korra:** Yeah Lin!

 

**Lin:** Wash it, omfs….

 

**Opal:** Actually, I think lube can actually make your hair even sleeker.

 

**Asami:** Oh really? Then I’ll go wash up and see to it.

 

**Korra:** Can I join?

 

**Kuvira:** Gay.

 

**Korra:** Shut the fuck up, I know you’ve been groping Opal when you think we aren’t looking.

 

**Toph:** I’m so glad I can’t see.

 

**Kya:** Hey, where’s Mako, Bolin and Varrick?

 

**Kuvira:** I contained them.

 

**Lin:** You guys aren’t going to yell at Kya?

 

**Opal:** Why would we?

 

**Kuvira:** That’s like yelling at an innocent child?

 

**Korra:** We aren’t that fucked up. Wow.

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Kya:** You locked them up?

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, in a cage I made.

 

**Kya:** What are you guys going to do with them?

 

**Opal:** Not sure but we’ll get them back.

 

**Kya:** Well, I have an idea.

 

**Korra:** Spill it.

 

**Lin:** Kya, you’re switching sides?

 

**Kya:** Yeah.

 

**Lin:** ???

 

**Kya:** :)

**Kya:** Anyways, ketchup and tampons and pads.

 

**Opal:** Oh spirits, they hate that.

 

**Kya:** I’ll go get ketchup.

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll get the pads.

 

**Toph:** You’re lucky I’m not throwing you in the cage, Lin.

 

**Lin:** UM? THANKS

 

**Asami:** *texts photo*

**Asami:** Guys, my hair does look even more sleeker and shinier.

 

**Opal:** fucking jealous.

 

**Korra:** Going to save that picture, thaaank you.

 

**Kuvira:** Gay.

 

**Korra:** So are you.

 

**Lin:** I’m leaving.

 

**Asami:** Oh hell no you are not.

 

XXX

 

**Mako:** FREEDOM

 

**Bolin:** WE HAVE ESCAPED

 

**Asami:** Finally, it’s been three hours.

 

**Korra:** Took you guys long enough.

 

**Mako:** WHAT YOU GIRLS DID WAS NASTY AF

 

**Opal:** We just put ketchup on pads and tampons and created a circle around the cage. It didn’t even touch you.

 

**Kuvira:** For the record, Varrick screamed the highest out of you all.

 

**Kya:** You guys are such babies.

 

**Mako:** Kya you traitor

 

**Kya:** I never said i was on your side. I just like having fun.

 

**Bolin:** She’s...not wrong...damn it

 

**Mako:** Where’s Lin?

 

**Lin:** In pure hell.

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits you’re so dramatic.

 

**Mako:** What did you guys do to her?

 

**Korra:** Asami just put makeup on her and Opal made her dress up while Kuvira and I threaten her to not leave.

 

**Kya:** I just had tea with my future mother-in-law

 

**Toph:** If I knew dressing Lin up would make her shut up, I would’ve done it ages ago.

 

**Kya:** *texts photo*

**Kya:** But look! Asami did such a great job on Lin

 

**Bolin:** Wow.

**Bolin:** Lin could have become a movie star or a model.

 

**Kya:** Right??

 

**Mako:** Wow. Chief, you look completely different.

 

**Lin:** Shut the fuck up, all of you.

 

**Opal:** This has been quite a fun sleepover.

 

**Kuvira:** Without the fact we got plummeted by lube balloons

 

**Bolin:** Or threaten with pads and tampons.

 

**Asami:** I hate to ruin the nice moment but does anyone else smell smoke?

 

**Mako:** Oh fuck…

 

XXX

 

**In a private message:**

 

**Mako:** WHY

 

**Varrick:** ASAMI REFUSED TO LOAN ME A SMALL LOAN OF A MILLION YUANS

 

**Mako:** A MILLION FUCKING WHAT

 

**Varrick:** PLUS ASAMI CALLED ME A LUNATIC IN THE LATEST INTERVIEW SHE DID

 

**Mako:** SHE’S NOT WRONG

**Mako:** YOU SAID YOU WOULD NOT BE PUTTING SOMEONE ON FIRE!

 

**Varrick:** SOMEONE, NOT SOMETHING

 

**Mako:** WHY THE FUCK DOES ZHU LI NOT HAVE A TIGHTER LEASH ON YOU?

 

**Varrick:** BECAUSE SHE’S HELPING ME

 

**Mako:** WHAT?

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** I am not even surprised at this point.

**Asami:** But perfect timing, I’ve been meaning to get rid of that old patio. So it’s great that Varrick decided to burn that.

 

**Lin:** He committed arson…

 

**Asami:** And I really don’t care, we got you in a nice pink dress.

 

**Lin:** Let me leave the room.

 

**Asami:** No, you’re trapped in there until we let you out.

 

**Lin:** I don’t want to hear this fucking gummy bear song...

 

**Korra:** If you metalbend your way out, we’ll just send the photo of you to the biggest publishing companies of Republic City.

 

**Lin:** You are all evil.

 

**Opal:** Um, you’re the one who threw lube balloons at us.

 

**Kya:** She’s not wrong.

 

**Lin:** Why does Kya get away with this?

 

**Kuvira:** Because we aren’t that evil.

 

**Toph:** Lol, have fun in there.

 

**Mako:** Don’t worry chief, we’ll be right here to suffer with you.

 

**Bolin:** Bros for life.

 

**Lin:** help.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really got to stop bullying Lin...
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	28. Azula, turn your caps lock off

**Azula:** AH HAH! I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT. I HAVE FINALLY CONQUERED THE THING CALLED TEXTING. NOW I WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD AND LET YOU ALL ROT IN YOUR SHAME. I WILL BECOME THE TRUE FIRE LORD AND GET MY REVENGE ON EVERYONE

 

**Asami:** Who

 

**Korra:** The

 

**Opal:** Fuck

 

**Bolin:** Are

 

**Mako:** You?

 

**Kuvira:** It’s 3 am…

**Kuvira:** Haven’t had this deal in a long time.

 

**Kya:** Hey, you’re Azula. Uncle Zuko’s sister.

 

**Azula:** IT IS I, AZULA, THE TRUE FIRE LORD. I DEMAND THAT YOU ALL BOW DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND SUBMIT TO ME.

 

**Asami:** I don’t consent.

 

**Korra:** I’m good, bye.

 

**Mako:** lol

 

**Bolin:** Too tired lol

 

**Opal:** Nah.

 

**Kuvira:** No thank you.

 

**Lin:** Wow. It’s been a while since one of the dead came to talk to us via texting.

 

**Azula:** I AM THE FIRST TO ACCOMPLISH IT. NOW FEAR ME AND I WILL CONSIDER SPARING YOUR PUNY LIVES.

 

**Asami:** Actually, my dad did it first.

 

**Opal:** Then her mom, Yasuko.

 

**Yasuko:** Hey bitches, how y’all doing?

 

**Asami:** huh, you didn’t cross over?

 

**Yasuko:** No, just spending some time with your dad on a long spirit vacation.

**Yasuko:** Why? You miss me?

 

**Asami:** debatable.

 

**Hiroshi:** Ungrateful child.

 

**Asami:** Abusive father who threw me in jail and then tried to kill me.

 

**Korra:** OH shiiiiiittttt

 

**Opal:** Sleepy Asami is a sassy Asami!!!

 

**Azula:** I WILL NOT BE IGNORED. I COMMAND THAT YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO.

 

**Asami:** Shut up.

 

**Azula:** YOU SHUT UP

 

**Asami:** Make me.

 

**Azula:** I WILL RELEASE THE INAPPROPRIATE PICTURES OFF OF YOUR MAGIC DEVICE THINGY

 

**Asami:** Everyone has seen me naked.

 

**Kuvira:** Me too as well.

 

**Korra:** I guess me too.

 

**Mako:** Me four

 

**Bolin:** Me five.

 

**Opal:** weirdos

 

**Azula:** I DEMAND THAT YOU RESPECT ME YOU LITTLE SLUT

 

**Asami:** You’re just jealous that I have a hotter body than you.

 

**Azula:** NO I DON'T

 

**Asami:** Okay, then stop scrolling through my nudes. I can see you swiping at my phone.

 

**Azula:** SHIT YOU CAN SEE THAT?

 

**Yasuko:** They can see anything that we do to their phones.

 

**Azula:** WHAT IS A PHONE?

 

**Kuvira:** The ‘device magic thingy’ that you’re possessing.

 

**Toph:** HEY WHAT IS UP FIRE HOE? Wow, you’re still lingering on this plane? Hahaha, what’s good bitch?

 

**Azula:** WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

 

**Toph:** Okay, rude, I was with the Avatar and part of the team?

 

**Azula:** THE BLIND ONE?

 

**Toph:** That’s me, bitch.

 

**Azula:** YOU TAKE SHITTY PHOTOS ON YOUR PHONE.

 

**Toph:** No shit you dumbass blueballs. I’m blind

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU, I WILL CURSE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN

 

**Lin:** We are already cursed, thank you.

 

**Azula:** WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

 

**Kya:** Now you ask that?

**Kya:** Lin and I are children of the original avatar members

 

**Opal:** I’m Toph’s granddaughter

 

**Azula:** WTF ARE YOU TELLING ME I AM IN A DIFFERENT TIME?

 

**Korra:** Yep.

**Korra:** Btw, I’m the new avatar 

**Korra:** *texts photo*

**Korra:** That’s me on the right.

 

**Opal:** Really? Whatever you two do in bed is fine but did you seriously just take a selfie just now? I don’t need to see Asami’s bare chest at 3 in the morning.

 

**Asami:** Okay, like you’re not in the same position with Kuvira.

 

**Kuvira:** I am in my jammies, thank you very much.

 

**Azula:** WHY ARE YOU A WATER TRIBE GIRL?

 

**Toph:** Oh my spirits, Azula, you can’t just ask people if they are a water tribe member.

 

**Azula:** I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT BECAME OF MY BROTHER

 

**Bolin:** He’s around, flying on a motherfucking dragon.

 

**Mako:** His daughter is the firelord

 

**Azula:** EW HE MADE A KID?

 

**Asami:** How old are you?

 

**Azula:** OLDER THAN YOU, WHORE, I AM 20

 

**Mako:** Wow, you died young

 

**Asami:** Bitch, I’m 22, get on my fucking level.

 

**Toph:** What happen to you? You disappeared off the face of the earth.

 

**Azula:** THAT DOESN’T MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I AM FINALLY HERE NOW AND I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD

 

**Kuvira:** I tried that with the Earth Kingdom and that didn’t go so well.

 

**Azula:** YOU DID IT WRONG THEN

 

**Toph:** Idk, she did a pretty good job for a while.

 

**Azula:** SHUT UP

 

**Lin:** Spirits, you’re annoying…

 

**Azula:** JUST WAIT YOU WILL SEE THAT I WILL BECOME FIRE LORD AGAIN

 

**Korra:** hahahha okay good luck

 

**Kya:** So what did happen to you?

 

**Azula:** I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

 

**Opal:** I bet you died in a stupid way

 

**Azula:** NO I DIDNT SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

**Yasuko:** She died by slipping on her own feet and into a volcano

 

**Mako:** Spirits….

 

**Bolin:** morbid but hilarious 

 

**Asami:** dumb bitch ahahha

 

**Toph:** I’m not surprised.

 

**Kya:** guys, even Lin laughed at that 

 

**Kuvira:** Congrats, Azula! You are the first to make Lin laugh.

 

**Opal:** How did you find out, Yasuko?

 

**Yasuko:** I’m literally at the place she died. 

 

**Hiroshi:** We can see how she died and it’s really funny.

 

**Bolin:** Dude, the dead have such great perks.

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah it basically looks like she just tripped on her own feet.

 

**Korra:** Hahahahahah oms hahahahah

 

**Toph:** I can’t wait to tell Zuko this

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU ALL. I WILL MAKE YOU ALL SUFFER AND REGRET EVEN BEING BORN

 

**Mako:** Are you going to push us in a volcano?

 

**Opal:** Or trip us?

 

**Korra:** Or yell at us until our ears bleed?

 

**Azula:** I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET MOCKING ME SO MUCH THAT YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION.

 

**Asami:** Shut up, omfs, you’re so annoying.

 

**Azula:** I WILL END YOU FIRST, YOU LITTLE FIRE SLUT

 

**Asami:** Just don’t trip, sweetie.

 

**Azula:** I WILL FUCK YOU UP

 

**Asami:** Mmmhh, harder mommy.

 

**Korra:** HAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA KJFSDHSKSHGKLSDG

 

**Toph:** YES GET HER ASAMI

 

**Azula:** I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOUR ASS.

 

**Asami:** Fist me, mommy, in my ass.

 

**Opal:** stoooopp ahahahahahahahah im dying

 

**Kya:** Lin is literally crying with laughter oms

 

**Azula:** WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

 

**Asami:** Bc I’m your slut, mommy.

 

**Toph:** You did call her a slut, Azula.

 

**Azula:** YOU ARE DISGUSTING

 

**Asami:** I am a whore for you, mommy.

 

**Mako:** You did call her a whore, Azula.

 

**Azula:** WOMEN SHOULDN'T BE THIS DISGUSTING

 

**Asami:** I can still see you swiping at my photos.

 

**Azula:** FUCK

 

**Bolin:** Can she stay? 

 

**Lin:** Yeah, we need a new scapegoat.

 

**Azula:** I AM NOBODY’S SCAPEGOAT.

 

**Korra:** You really just set yourself up as one.

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

 

**Kya:** The one who tripped into a fucking volcano.

 

**Azula:** I AM A PRINCESS I AM FIRE LORD OZAI’S DAUGHTER AND TRUE HEIR TO THE FIRE LORD TITLE

 

**Asami:** And I am the princess’ slut.

 

**Azula:** YOU ARE NOT FUCK OFF

 

**Asami:** You’re the one who called me a slut and a whore so own up to it.

 

**Azula:** I REGRET IT SO SHUT UP

 

**Kuvira:** Are you always this angry?

 

**Azula:** I AM NOT ALWAYS ANGRY

 

**Mako:** Then turn your caps lock off

 

**Azula:** HOW DO I DO THAT

 

**Bolin:** Nah let her figure it out herself

 

**Azula:** I WILL FUCKING END YOU ALL

 

**Korra:** you need to get laid

 

**Opal:** Like big time sheesh

 

**Asami:** With the way she addresses me, I think she still has her purity intact

 

**Azula:** NO I DONT FUCK YOU

 

**Toph:** Who the fuck would sleep with you?

 

**Azula:** NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS 

 

**Mako:** If you can’t tell us, then we won’t believe you

 

**Bolin:** Not that there’s anything wrong with being a virgin.

 

**Azula:** I AM NOT A VIRGIN

 

**Kuvira:** Tell us who you were with and we will believe you.

 

**Azula:** NO

 

**Asami:** It was with another woman, huh?

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU, NO IT WASN’T

 

**Asami:** Sure it wasn’t.

 

**Azula:** I AM NOT INTO OTHER WOMEN

 

**Asami:** I CAN STILL SEE YOU SWIPING AT MY PHOTOS

 

**Azula:** I AM NOT! FUCK YOU

 

**Kuvira:** Then can you stop swiping at mine?

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS GOLD FUCKING GOLD HAHAHAH

 

**Korra:** We are all gay, expect Toph and maybe Bolin, so it’s fine to come out.

 

**Azula:** WOMEN ON WOMEN IS WRONG. I WOULD NEVER SLEEP, NOR KISS, NOR HAVE ANY ROMANTIC DESIRES WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. I AM NOT GAY.

 

**Ty Lee:** YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITICAL BASTARD

 

**Toph:** Oh my spirits, I knew it.

 

**Korra:** So who are you?

 

**Ty Lee:** I am the woman she kissed!

 

**Toph:** I KNEW IT. OH MY SPIRITS, KATARA OWES ME MONEY NOW

 

**Azula:** YOU’RE DEAD?

 

**Ty Lee:** Well, of course. I can’t live forever. 

 

**Asami:** Wait you just kissed this woman?

 

**Ty Lee:** Yeah we just kissed but it was hot.

 

**Asami:** Oh then you are a virgin, Azula. 

 

**Azula:** KISSING STILL MEANS LOSING MY PURITY

 

**Asami:** We have very different definitions of that.

 

**Toph:** Ty Lee, what’s up? I haven’t talked with yah in forever.

 

**Ty Lee:** I actually died a couple of hours ago.

 

**Toph:** Oh, tight. Glad you can join us in this chat then as a dead spirit.

 

**Asami:** Oh. I’m so sorry.

 

**Korra:** Rest In Peace?

 

**Ty Lee:** Aw, thanks. I mean my time was going to come to an end.

**Ty Lee:** what’s nice is that I can revert to my younger form, which is so cool

**Ty Lee:** But right now, let me address the elephant in the room.

**Ty Lee:** YO AZULA, YOU GOING TO PRETEND YOU WEREN’T CUTTING YOUR NAILS JUST FOR ME?

 

**Kya:** Lin is dying of laughter. Please stop before someone else dies.

 

**Azula:** I THOUGHT YOU HATED ME WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME OUT?

 

**Ty Lee:** I don’t hate you. I just don’t fear you. I mean, you were an ass but I still cared for yah. I did wonder what the hell happen to you.

 

**Yasuko:** She tripped and fell into a volcano.

 

**Ty Lee:** lol that would be how she died.

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU

 

**Ty Lee:** YOU ALREADY DID PRINCESS

 

**Korra:** Kissing doesn’t mean fucking, oh my spirits…..

 

**Ty Lee:** I know. I just like to bully her.

 

**Asami:** My bad, I didn’t mean to bully your gf.

 

**Azula:** SHE IS NOT MY GF

 

**Ty Lee:** Azula does suck at expressing herself so it’s fine

**Ty Lee:** AND OKAY AZULA BUT YOU STILL KISSED ME IN THAT HALLWAY

 

**Bolin:** idk what happen to the chat but mako and i can’t stop laughing

 

**Opal:** me too. Kuvira and i are literally crying.

 

**Korra:** Best late night convo ever

 

XXX

 

**Toph made group chat.**

 

**Toph added Zuko and Katara to the group chat.**

 

**Toph named group chat as “Azula and Ty Lee were totally smooching it up when we were teens”**

 

**Toph:** *texts photo*

**Toph:** *texts photo*

**toph:** *texts photo*

 

**Zuko:** We made that bet like thirty years ago...

 

**Katara:** okay but you’re her brother, you, of all people, should have known

 

**Zuko:** I don’t stare at my sister’s nails, okay?

 

**Toph:** You owe me money. Zuko, you have to pay for Sokka’s share and Katara, you pay me for Aang’s share.

 

**Azula:** YOU GUYS MADE A BET ON THIS?

 

**Ty Lee:** Hahaha, why didn’t you guys just ask me?

 

**Zuko:** I have my honor.

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOUR HONOR ZUKO YOU PIECE OF SHIT

 

**Zuko:** Spirits…

 

**Katara:** What happen to you?

 

**Toph:** She tripped and fell into a volcano.

 

**Azula:** SHUT UP AND STOP TELLING EVERYONE THAT.

 

**Katara:** You’re a firebender, that is the most ridiculous way to die.

 

**Zuko:** That’s rough, sis.

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU.

 

**Katara:** Wait? The dead can text???

 

**Zuko:** holy shit….

 

**Toph:** oh yeah, I forgot you two are still new to phones now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Azula talks big but she’s surprisingly really pure, so pure that she thinks she lost her virginity by kissing.
> 
> Wow, I shoved three new characters into this chapter. You’re welcome?
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	29. The One Who Out-Fuckery Team Avatar

**Lin:** Hey, guys? Where are all of you? A spirit is raving havoc around the northern part of Republic City. Could really use some assistance.

 

**Mako:** We’re at a pole dancing class.

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Bolin:** We’re all at a pole dancing class.

 

**Lin:** HUH?

 

**Kya:** WE’RE

 

**Asami:** AT

 

**Korra:** A

 

**Kuvira:** POLE

 

**Opal:** DANCING

 

**Toph:** CLASS

 

**Azula:** YOU ARE ALL SO NASTY

 

**Asami:** Oh spirits, you haven’t crossed over with your new gf?

 

**Azula:** TY LEE ISN’T MY GIRLFRIEND

 

**Ty Lee:** You’re so cute when you lie.

 

**Azula:** SHUT UP…

 

**Lin:** Kya? You’re with them too???

 

**Kya:** We invited you.

 

**Lin:** NO?

 

**Kuvira:** We literally came up to ask you if you were busy during your lunch break.

 

**Lin:** Okay, you didn’t say you guys were going to a fucking pole dancing class. 

 

**Opal:** Well, that’s where we are so you’re still welcome to come by.

 

**Korra:** We can get you a senior discount.

 

**Lin:** Thanks….? I think…

**Lin:** Mom...you’re there too?

 

**Toph:** So are Tenzin and the kids

 

**Lin:** What…

 

**Mako:** Kids under 18 get free lessons today.

 

**Azula:** NASTY

 

**Asami:** Shut up…

 

**Kya:** So my little bro has a phone now. 

**Kya:** I’m going to add him.

 

**Lin:** I feel like you’re all going to ruin him before he even gets through 1 minute of this chat.

 

**Korra added Tenzin to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Kya:** Well he’s pole dancing right now.

 

**Lin:** Really??

 

**Asami:** *texts video*

**Asami:** Look at him go!

 

**Lin:** Wow…

 

**Opal:** Aw cool!

**Opal:** Too bad they had to separate us into different groups. I hate our teacher.

 

**Korra:** Who do you have?

 

**Kuvira:** Suyin…

 

**Asami:** Wait??? Suyin teaches pole dancing???

 

**Mako:** Yeah, it’s going fine but she’s trying to make Kuvira perform reckless moves and hoping she breaks a bone.

 

**Bolin:** She might be doing it on purpose...

 

**Toph:** Suyin is the leader of Zaofu...why does she teaches pole dancing at Republic City?

 

**Kuvira:** she’s helping your group’s teacher assist with the massive income of people who want to try pole dancing today.

 

**Opal:** Who do you guys have?

 

**Asami:** Huan.

 

**Opal:** HUAN?

 

**Korra:** Yeah Huan.

 

**Opal:** When did he start pole dancing???

 

**Toph:** He says it’s a part of his individuality.

**Toph:** he’s actually really good at it

 

**Mako:** how can you tell?

 

**Toph:** the kids are enjoying it so he can’t be that bad

 

**Opal:** Huh. I learn new things about my brothers everyday.

**Opal** : they both came here and didn’t tell me sooner??

 

**Asami** : it prolly doesn’t help that you date and hang with kuvira 24/7

 

**Opal** : okay true 

 

**Kuvira:** Your mom is being a fucking bitch.

**Kuvira:** She knows that I can’t bend my legs that far.

 

**Opal:** Bend me, babe. ;)

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll bend you over my lap. ;)

 

**Korra:** GAAAAYY

 

**Mako:** GAYYYY

 

**Bolin:** GAAAYYY

 

**Kya:** GAAYYY

 

**Azula:** SHAMEFUL

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off.

 

**Ty Lee:** I’m trying.

 

**Opal:** ksafhlkshflashfkahklf ahahahhaha

**Opal:** I’m so happy you two haven’t crossed over. Please stay in this chat.

 

**Ty Lee:** :) YAY

 

XXX

 

**Mako:** What’s with all the thumping in your guy’s classroom??

 

**Toph:** According to all the screams and cries of frustration, Asami can’t pole dance.

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** She’s trying, guys.

 

**Opal:** Why is she just jumping onto the pole???

 

**Korra:** Well, she barely could hang onto the pole so she thought a running start might work.

 

**Kuvira:** All she has to do is grip it.

 

**Korra:** IDK EITHER she can’t get a handle of it

 

**Opal:** Wow, something that Asami can’t do…

 

**Mako:** Well, this is surprising. 

 

**Korra:** *texts video*

**Korra:** the kids are trying to show her.

 

**Mako:** Oms, Meelo saying ‘be the leaf’ made me choke.

 

**Opal:** Tell her to try and be a sexy leaf.

 

**Kuvira:** Can we switch teachers? Suyin is literally trying to break me apart with the pole.

 

**Korra:** Knowing that you had a childhood crush on her, I feel uncomfortable with that text.

 

**Kuvira:** My bad. 

**Kuvira:** Suyin just metalbend the pole and is trying to hit me with it.

 

**Korra:** What?

 

**Opal:** It’s true. Our pole dancing class turned into a wrestling match.

 

**Mako:** I’m more impressed with how Kuvira is able to text while she fights.

 

**Kuvira:** ;)

 

**Lin:** I’m glad you guys are having fun but…

**Lin:** I HAD TO TAKE DOWN A RAMPAGING SPIRIT ALL BY MYSELF SO THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.

 

**Korra:** Oh cool, thanks.

 

**Kya:** Good job.

 

**Mako:** Good work, Chief. 

 

**Lin:** WHY DID YOU GUYS NOT HELP?

 

**Opal:** You didn’t ask.

 

**Lin:** I DID.

 

**Mako:** You weren’t specific.

 

**Lin:** I HAVE TO BE SPECIFIC??

 

**Bolin:** Duh.

**Bolin:** You know Korra and Kuvira get competitive to show off to their girls so it’s better if they don’t fight together.

**Bolin:** Asami can’t fight well with Mako since he accidently burn a part of her eyebrow off.

**Bolin:** Mako and Opal barely agree on how to work together without getting into their ‘twink’ argument.

**Bolin:** I work well with everyone.

 

**Lin:** Oms…..

 

**Asami:** You think you got problems? I can’t pole dance.

 

**Lin:** That’s really just a personal problem….

 

**Asami:** It’s not personal when everyone is here, cheering for me.

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Korra:** She’s trying and I support.

 

**Kuvira:** Suyin finally stop attacking me in order to help Asami.

 

**Opal:** Huan gave up.

 

**Lin:** I miss when you guys were doe-eyed teens that use to respect me.

 

**Korra:** hahahah ahahha

 

**Mako:** That’s funny Chief

 

**Bolin:** jjhkhalkshfkhskfhkshjahahahahhahahahahahhahah

 

**Opal:** Okay, auntie. Whatever you say.

**Opal:** *text video*

**Opal:** Look, Asami did it

 

**Asami:** I FINALLY DID IT

 

**Lin:** Good for you.

**Lin:** Now I’m going to take a hard nap to let off some stress and ignore you all.

**Lin:** A long one.

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Korra:** OMFS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH TENZIN OMS

 

**Bolin:** HE JUST PULLED OUT SUNGLASSES OMS HAHAHA

 

**Asami:** OMS HAHAHAHAH STOP LOL

 

**Opal:** AAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

 

**Kuvira:** Why didn’t he get a phone earlier? He’s fucking gold.

 

**Kya:** WHEN DID MY BROTHER BECOME SUCH A RIOT???? HAHAHAHAHA

 

**Toph:** oh my spirits hahaha

 

**Lin:** @Asami, let me out of this chat!

 

**Asami:** NO.

 

**Opal:** @Kuvira. Babe, watch out on your right. My mom is coming.

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Asami:** …

 

**Kya:** …

 

**Toph:** ...

 

**Mako:** …

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Opal:** I’ll give it to him because that made me chuckle.

 

**Azula:** SHAMEFUL

**Azula:** YOU ARE ALL NASTY AF

 

**Lin:** I will shove this fist in your ghost body if you won’t shut up, Azula.

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Lin:** I WILL FUCKING SPEAR YOU, TENZIN!

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Kya:** Honey, you’re literally setting yourself up.

**Kya:** Just stop pushing it and let it go.

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Kya:** OH FUCK YOU TENZIN

 

**Korra:** Tenzin, relax…

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Mako:** Stop pushing it!

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Opal:** It’s too much, stop.

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Bolin:** You’re going too fast with it!

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Kuvira:** Stop trying to fit it into everything!

 

**Tenzin:** That’s what she said.

 

**Asami kicked Tenzin out of group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami:** Did he just..out-fuckery us?

 

**Kuvira:** What a legend.

 

**Korra:** Mad respect.

 

**Mako:** For the sake of our sanity, he had to leave.

 

**Bolin:** I’ll never forget him.

 

**Kya:** I’ll never bully him again.

 

**Toph:** Wow….that was a lot to take in.

 

**Azula:** THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

 

**Lin:** STOP IT!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here lies Team Avatar. Death by ‘That’s What She Said’ -Tenzin.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	30. When They Are Serious

**Spear Mi Lin Lins:** As much as I enjoyed the silence of this chat, I regret that I require assistance from you all.

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** …

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** I’m not even going to ask.

 

 **Assami Slithers:** We waited 36 hours for you to type in the chat and it was worth it!

 

 **Metal Vee Gina:** We had too much fun making stripper names for all of us.

 

 **Ma Koko Nuts:** You looking a little red Chief. Bolin and I can see you trying not to laugh.

 

 **Opal Gropal:** laugh you coward.

 

 **Fuckatar:** We refrain ourselves from texting in the chat so laugh, damn it.

 

 **Big Ball Bols:** We worked hard to think up our own stripper names.

 

 **Kyagasm:** Laugh bitch.

 

 **Going In Dry:** Laugh, you ungrateful child.

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** Okay, some of you have actual decent stripper names, some of you just tried to rhyme, and some of you didn’t even try.

 

 **Big Ball Bols:** I saw you chuckle! We won!

 

 **Fuckatar:** FUCK YES!

 

 **Opal Gropal:** I thought you would never text in the chat.

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** You guys purposely didn’t text in the chat until I did? Just for this?

 

 **Metal Vee Gina:** Worth it.

 

 **Assami Slithers:** Fuck yeah.

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** Do you guys do anything else except devote your time and energy into this chat?

 

 **Opal Gropal:** We bend and stuff.

 

 **Ma Koko Nuts:** eat and sleep

 

 **Fuckatar:** sex

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** You, Korra, have the least well thought stripper name.

 

 **Fuckatar:** Asami likes it.

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** Of course she would.

 

 **Assami Slithers:** You’re not hating on ‘Going In Dry’?

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** I don’t want to talk to my mother with that name, okay?

 

 **Going In Dry:** Coward.

 

 **Azula:** NASTY

 

 **Metal Vee Gina:** Shut up.

 

 **Spear Mi Lin Lins:** Spirits, she’s still here…

 

 **Assami Slithers:** Yeah, the dead can do whatever they want. I can’t touch them.

 

 **Opal Gropal:** I like Ty Lee and Azula.

 

 **Ty Lee:** Thaaaanks~

 

 **Azula:** TY LEE WON’T LET ME ESCAPE THIS HELL

 

 **Ma Koko Nuts:** Can we change back? I’m already lost on who is who.

 

 **Assami Slithers:** Yeah sure, give me a sec

 

**Asami reset names to default in group chat “3.0”**

 

**Korra:**

**Korra:** Okay, since we are all here. Asami and I have a legit question.

 **Korra:** How would Naga wear pants?

 

 **Asami:** We agreed that it’s obviously on just the rear legs and around her waist.

 

 **Mako:** Yeah I agree

 

 **Kya:** Me too.

 

 **Toph:** I don’t care, I’m blind.

 

 **Opal:** Yeah, it makes sense that it would be the second one.

 

 **Kuvira:** No, I think it’s the first one.

 

 **Bolin:** Huh?

 

 **Korra:** Kuvira, you’re wrong. Why would Naga wear the pants that covers all four legs?

 

 **Kuvira:** If you’re talking about pants, it covers the legs, right? So if Naga wears pants, then she would need a pair that covers all four legs.

 

 **Asami:** That looks stupid, it’s the second one.

 

 **Opal:** Okay, I can see where Kuvira is going at.

 **Opal:** If the pants are made to cover the legs, then Naga would wear the pants that covers all four legs.

 

 **Korra:** Okay, no. Naga would wear pants that covers her hind legs and stops at her waist.

 

 **Kuvira:** No, that’s dumb.

 

 **Korra:** Why is that dumb?

 

 **Kuvira:** How would a dog be able to wear pants like that? It’ll slide off.

 

 **Korra:** Oh? So your way is smarter? Naga wouldn’t wear pants up to her chest. That’s stupid.

 

 **Kuvira:** Then they aren’t pants.

 

 **Korra:** Okay, how about this?

 

 **Lin:** How did we get from stripper names to this stupid argument?

 

 **Kya:** Quiet, babe. I wanna see how this plays out.

 

 **Korra:** If Naga were to walk on two legs, then it’s her hind legs that need the pants, not the front legs.

 

 **Kuvira:** You’re an animalcist.

 

 **Mako:** A what?

 

 **Kuvira:** You’re being prejudice towards animals.

 

 **Korra:** HOW?

 

 **Kuvira:** It’s awfully bold of you to put Naga onto standing on just her hind legs. She would break them under her own weight if she’s not careful.

 **Kuvira:** Naga isn’t human. She can’t just get up and walk on two legs. Your example is just favored towards your thinking.

 

 **Korra:** It’s just a simulation example to explain the pants.

 

 **Kuvira:** It’s a poor choice.

 **Kuvira:** Pants are outer garment that covered each leg individually. So if Naga wore pants, it would be the first image. On all four legs.

 

 **Asami:** Okay, you’re way is just too unlikely. How would Naga even lift her pants up? It’ll be liking wearing pants on our chests.

 

**Kuvira:**

 

 **Mako:** That’s not pants. That’s a dress with leggings.

 

 **Kuvira:** Oh my goodness, do you hear yourself?

 

 **Bolin:** That’s just ridiculous.

 

 **Kuvira:** I’m not wrong.

 

 **Asami:** That’s not pants.

 

 **Kuvira:** You guys are thinking like humans. Think like a dog. Dogs don’t have arms like us.

 **Kuvira:** Korra, you don’t go to your dog and ask Naga to bring you something with her arms.

 

 **Korra:** You made no sense!

 

 **Kuvira:** Have you ever referred to Naga’s legs as arms? No. No one looks at a dog and think, ‘Hey, that dog has arms.’

 

 **Opal:** Okay, you have a point.

 **Opal:** But it really depends on the owner.

 

 **Korra:** Naga is a polar bear dog, by the way.

 

 **Kuvira:** Then my mistake, but I still stand on my decision. Naga would wear pants like the image I posted.

 

 **Bolin:** It’s not natural.

 **Bolin:** It’s so weird.

 

 **Kuvira:** We’re not natural.

 

 **Asami:** Us?

 

 **Kuvira:** Humans are the most fucked up creatures in terms of growth and evolution. We got the worst end of the developing growth. Standing on two legs have caused major issues with our spines.

 **Kuvira:** You know how we have back problems. It’s because we stand on only two legs. Our evolution has fucked us up.

 

 **Mako:** Sources?

 

 **Kuvira:** Mako, do your own research you uneducated detective.

 

 **Bolin:** Why don’t you do your own?

 

 **Kuvira:** I did. I went to college.

 

 **Korra:** Not enough.

 

 **Kuvira:** I have more credibility over you, Korra.

 

 **Asami:** It doesn’t support your reasoning on why Naga should wear pants that cover all four legs.

 

 **Kuvira:** I refuse to sink down to your level of thinking. I am thinking in the mindset of a dog, not a human.

 

 **Asami:** It would be hard for a dog to walk in those pants you favor.

 

 **Kuvira:** I don’t know, that dog looks pretty happy in it.

 

 **Asami:** It’s just one dog.

 

 **Kuvira:** And that one dog is proving my standings is reasonable and credible.

 

 **Lin:** You guys will call Raiko a ‘mustache tickler little shit’ last week but you’ll act like politicians over this stupid argument?

 

 **Kya:** This is like the first time that everyone is having a decent and reasonable debate. Don’t ruin it, Lin.

 

 **Korra:** Then what’s your standing, Lin?

 

 **Lin:** Dogs shouldn’t wear pants anyways.

 

 **Kuvira:** Shut up, Lin. Your opinion doesn’t help this debate.

 

 **Asami:** You’re not helping, Lin.

 

 **Korra:** Not helping at all.

 

 **Opal:** Spirits, don’t butt in unless you have something to contribute.

 

 **Mako:** At least have sources.

 

 **Bolin:** Duh.

 

 **Lin:** WHY DO I FUCKING EVEN TRY?

 **Lin:** I JUST WANTED EXTRA HELP WITH CLEANING MY OFFICE.

 

 **Korra:** We’re going to be busy.

 **Korra:** @Kuvira, you’re coming to Avatar Park and we are going to observe, talk, and calculate how dog and their owners prefer their pet to wear the pants.

 

 **Kuvira:** You’re on!

 **Kuvira:** I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

 

 **Mako:** Coming too!

 

 **Bolin:** Me too!

 

 **Asami:** I’ll come pick you up, Korra.

 

 **Opal:** I’ll swing by.

 

 **Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

XXX

 

 **Azula:** QUESTION. IS KETCHUP TECHNICALLY A SMOOTHIE?

 

 **Korra:** It isn’t

 

 **Kuvira:** It is.

 

 **Korra:** Alright, Kuvira, I got my sources ready.

 

 **Asami:** I got you babe!

 

 **Kuvira:** I’m ready. Here we go.

 

 **Opal:** I’m so ready.

 

 **Mako:** Kuvira is going to somehow win this.

 

 **Bolin:** Or Korra might be able to counter.

 

 **Lin:** WHY? STOP WASTING YOUR ENERGY ON THESE DUMB DEBATES.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only time they get serious....
> 
> Ok, adding pictures was so hard but I finally did it. Maybe I’ll try to incorporate more images if I have the patience and time but this is a start!
> 
> I’ll be busy for a long time so I don’t know when I’ll get another update in. I’ll squeeze one in, if I can.
> 
> okie, byeeee
> 
> ALSO, Images are not mine at all.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	31. Kya no...

**Opal:** This is all your fault, Mako.

 **Opal:** Everyone, Run.

 

 **Mako:** I didn’t think Kya’s necklace was there.

 

 **Asami:** You fucked up. Badly.

 

 **Korra:** Bye, Mako.

 

 **Bolin:** Nice knowing you.

 

 **Toph:** I don’t know what he did but if you made Kya mad, then rest in peace.

 

 **Mako:** You guys were all there!

 

 **Asami:** But we didn’t accidentally burn Kya’s necklace. So…

 

 **Lin:** You guys did what?!

 

 **Toph:** HAHA, NOW I WISH I CAN SEE

 

 **Lin:** As much as I’m happy to not be there, I’m now actually worried for you all.

 

 **Korra:** It was all Mako’s fault.

 

 **Mako:** EXCUSE ME, KUVIRA WAS THERE TOO. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED MY HAND.

 

 **Kuvira:** Don’t pin this on me.

 **Kuvira:** I’m just the better fighter.

 

 **Lin:** WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?

 

 **Korra:** Mako burned Kya’s necklace during a skirmish with Kuvira

 

 **Opal:** Look, the Air Temple has a lot of hiding areas so we should be safe.

 

 **Lin:** Oh no..

 

 **Asami:** R.I.P. Mako

 

 **Mako:** Where did you guys go?!

 

 **Korra:** Hiding so shut up.

 

 **Lin:** I can not believe you guys accidently burned up Kya’s necklace.

 

 **Mako:** Can I just buy her a new one??? Or replace it? Make her one?

 

 **Lin:** No.

 **Lin:** Kya may joke around with her necklace and saying it’s to keep the men away.

 **Lin:** But she’s terrifyingly territorial with that necklace.

 **Lin:** Trust me, I accidently almost tore it when we were busy and I thought I saw the other side.

 

 **Toph:** I got popcorn. This will be good if Lin is scared.

 

 **Lin:** Just because the rest of you all are hiding and claiming that you didn’t have anything to do with it. Kya is going to get you.

 

 **Asami:** What?

 

 **Korra:** You’re joking right?

 

 **Kuvira:** …

 

 **Lin:** You guys should just say your prayers now.

 

 **Mako:** Oh Shit...I can hear her.

 

 **Korra:** I don’t hear anything...

 

 **Opal:** You know. Maybe it wasn’t smart to talk about this on the same group chat that we share with Kya.

 

 **Asami:** That was all on you. You texted in the chat first.

 

 **Kuvira:** I’ll protect my Opal!

 

 **Opal:** My strong and powerful gf~~

 

 **Mako:** FUCK YOU IM THE ONE SHE’S GOING TO KILL FIRST

 

 **Opal:** As long as it gives me time to get out of this place.

 

 **Korra:** You’re taking us with you!

 

 **Opal:** Sorry, I only take metalbenders.

 

 **Korra:** I can metalbend!

 

 **Opal:** Man, I’m really off my game today.

 

 **Bolin:** I JUST HEARD KYA SCREAM! SHIT SHIT

 

 **Asami:** STOP TEXTING IN THE CHAT

 

**Kya:**

 

 **Lin:** Well, it was nice knowing you guys.

 

 **Toph:** Hhahahahahahahah

 

 **Asami:** @Kya, it was Mako who did it. 

 

 **Kya:** @Asami 

**Kya:**

 

 **Asami:** I am so sorry, Kya. Please understand that I couldn’t stop it in time. I’m so so sorry.

 

 **Bolin:** Shit....Even Asami can’t get out of it....

 

 **Kya:** @Bolin 

**Kya:**

 

 **Bolin:**  I LITERALLY WAS SITTING BY THE SIDELINES. I DID NOTHING.

 

 **Kuvira:** Kya, we are more than happy to try and replace it.

 

 **Kya:** @Kuvira

**Kya:**

****

 

 **Kuvira:** Opal, you’re on your own.

 

 **Opal:**  Shit....

 

 **Kya:** @Opal

**Kya:**

****

 

 **Opal:** Fuck...flashbacks...

 

 **Lin:** This picture is you guys right now and I’m living!

**Lin:**

 

 **Asami:** oh spirits i hate that photo of me...

 

 **Korra:**  As the Avatar, I will handle this. Let’s talk, Kya. We will pay for a new one.

 

 **Kya:** @Korra

 **Kya:** *texts link*

 

 **Korra:**  ...

 

 **Asami:** It should be illegal to be writing those kinds fanfics.

 

 **Korra:**  I’m fucking scared.

 **Korra:** Kya knows how fucked up those fanfics are. It's terrifying that people enjoy Amon doing that to me.

 **Korra:**  She’s really angry.....

 

**Kya:**

****

 

 **Mako:**  Oh spirits....Kya is really angry....

 

 **Kya:** @Mako

 **Kya:** I wish Koh upon you.

 

 **Mako:** Fuck....

 

 **Asami:** That’s the worse you can wish onto someone...getting their face stolen...

 

 **Korra:**  Alright, so we should prolly run now..

 

 **Opal:**  See yah bitches, I’m out. 

 

 **Lin:** None of you guys will survive

 

XXX

**Kya:**

****

**Kya:** Even when she cries, she still looks beautiful.

 

 **Lin:** Asami is out.

 

 **Korra:** HOW DARE YOU FILM ASAMI CRYING!

 

 **Bolin:** What did you do....?

 

 **Kya:**  Sent all her nudes to Varrick.

 

 **Kuvira:**  WHY?

 

 **Kya:** Bc Varrick is also a huge Naruto fan and he’s good at photoshop.

 

 **Lin:** HAHAHAHAHAHA oh he would he would

 

 **Korra:**  I AM THE AVATAR KYA HEAR ME ROAR

 

XXX

 

**Kya:**

****

**Kya:** She accidently knocked herself out so that's all on her.

 

 **Kuvira:** She would do that...

 

 **Bolin:** Oh no....Asami and Korra are already down.

 

 **Kya:** You’re next.

 

 **Bolin:** SHIT

 

XXX

**Kya:**

**Kya:** Deleted all of his favorite Pabu photos.

 

 **Lin:**  Really? that’s what broke him?

 

 **Mako:** He cried for 10 hours straight when we lost Pabu once.

 **Mako:** Okay bye, I’m gone.

 

 **Kuvira:** All right. I’m not going to run. I was partly responsible so I’ll just face Kya.

 

 **Opal:**  I wish you luck babe.

 

 **Mako:** thank you fo giving me more time.

XXX

 

 **Kya:** This was literally her last moment.

**Kya:**

****

 

 **Opal:**...

 

 **Lin:** Why the fuck would she take a selfie...?

 

 **Mako:** IDK but mad respect!

 

 **Toph:**  She took a selfie?

 **Toph:** Oh she sent it to me.

 **Toph:** *texts screenshot*

_**Kuvira:** Babe, I’m sorry I’m not a better woman to protect you but here’s a selfie of my last few moments. #insta_

_**Kuvira:** I had to use Kya's phone to get this but check it. :)_

__

 

 **Opal:** @Kuvira, YOU IDIOT YOU SENT IT TO THE WRONG BEIFONG

 **Opal:** BUT I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR YOU OMS YES RIP

 

 **Mako:** So...what did you do to her?

 

 **Kya:** Pushed her into the water.

 

 **Opal:** FUCK SHE CAN’T SWIM OMG I HAVE TO FLY BACK

 

 **Mako:** WTF ARE YOU DOING OPAL YOU’RE ALREADY FLYING OUT SO FAR

 

 **Opal:** I’LL ACCEPT MY DEATH. I CANT ABANDON KUVIRA AFTER SHE DOES THAT.

 

 **Mako:** NO OPAL NOOOOOOOOO

 

 **Kya:** 5 down. One more to go.

 

 **Toph:** What did you do?

 

 **Kya:** I just put holes in her glider.

 

 **Lin:** She is still alive...right? i can’t face Suyin’s wrath...

 

 **Kya:** She’s fine. She’s fishing for Kuvira.

 

 **Mako:** SHIT

 

XXX

 

**Kya:**

**Kya:** He defeated me. :(

 

 **Lin:** Aw, you did very well though.

 

 **Kya:** Well, I’m still conscious but not Mako so I guess I win.

 

 **Toph:** Yeah, I say you win.

 

 **Lin:** Wow. I think you really broke those kids.

 

 **Kya:** They’ll be fine.

 

 **Toph:** Well, if you say so.

 

 **Lin:** Do you think they’ll hold a grudge against you?

 

 **Kya:** Nope. They know better.

 

 **Lin:** Alright, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow when you guys come back?

 

 **Kya:** Can’t wait~

 

XXX

 

 **Asami:** OPAL YOU FUCKING IDIOT THAT WASN’T EVEN KYA’S NECKLACE

 

 **Korra:** IT WAS A STRIP OF MY OUTFIT! HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU HAVE FUCKING MISTAKED IT FOR KYA’S NECKLACE

 

 **Mako:** I BROKE MY FUCKING ARMS OPAL

 

 **Bolin:** PABBBUUUUUUUU WAAAAAHHHHHH

 

 **Kuvira:** It’s okay, babe. At least I got a lot of likes on my selfie.

 

 **Opal:** Thanks babe.

 **Opal:** AND I AM SORRY THAT NONE OF YOU GUYS BOTHERED TO NOTICE SHE WAS WEARING IT WHEN SHE WAS ATTACKING YOU. I WAS IN THE AIR, GETTING AWAY.

 

 **Kya:** Wow, took you guys long enough to realize. 

 

 **Lin:** Well, now I know you kids will never mess with Kya ever.

 

 **Korra:** Just Kya. We’ll still mess with you, Lin.

 

 **Lin:** No, Kya is my girlfriend and she’s on my side.

 

 **Kya:** Not all the time ;)

 

 **Lin:** Damn it...

 

 **Bolin:** PABUUUUUUUU

 

 **Azula:** YA’LL ARE NASTY AND DUMB HAHAHAHAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands down, this is my favorite work. Wow. I can’t top this. Thank you. *bows*
> 
> Images and gifs are not mine.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	32. Please don’t be like these kids...

**Kuvira:** Lin?

 **Kuvira:** @Lin

 

 **Kya:** @Lin

 

 **Opal:** @Lin

 

 **Bolin:** I see you guys are trying to contact Lin.

 

 **Opal:** Wow, no shit smarty pants.

 

 **Mako:** What’s going on?

 

 **Kya:** We lost Lin.

 

 **Toph:** How do you lose Lin?

 

 **Kuvira:** By getting her drunk.

 

 **Mako:** HAHAHAHAHA

 

 **Kuvira:** What? We did it.

 

 **Mako:** Wait? You guys serious?

 **Mako:** She’s drunk?

 

 **Kya:** Yeah, what did you guys not get with Kuvira’s ‘By getting her drunk’?

 

 **Bolin:** You’re serious?

 

 **Opal:** I wouldn’t lie about getting drunk.

 

 **Bolin:** So Lin is actually drunk?

 

 **Kya:** Do we need to spell it out?

 

 **Mako:** Like drunk drunk??

 

 **Kuvira:** Wasted.

 

 **Mako:** Oh my spirits…

 

 **Kya:** Yeah we know we fucked up when she leaped out of the bar.

 

 **Bolin:** Kya, you of all people, should know what she is like when she’s drunk.

 

 **Kya:** We never really drink together and if we do, it’s light.

 

 **Mako:** She gets crazy when she’s drunk.

 

 **Opal:** Yeah, we figured when she launched herself out of the bar while screaming she’s spider lord.

 

 **Toph:** Oh I taught her that. Hahahahaha

 

 **Kya:** So like…

 **Kya:** Have you guys seen her?

 

 **Mako:** No but I’m sure it’s easy to find her.

 

 **Kuvira:** We’ve been searching for 2 hours.

 

 **Mako:** You guys got her drunk at 6pm??

 **Mako:** who gets wasted that early?

 

 **Kya:** Us.

 

 **Kuvira:** It was happy hour special.

 

 **Bolin:** So like, any ideas where she went?

 

 **Opal:** We are kinda just winging it at this point.

 

 **Mako:** You guys are horrible people to drink with.

 

 **Kuvira:** Look, the worse that Lin can do is maybe cause some property damages with her metalbending.

 

 **Mako:** That’s not good…

 

 **Kuvira:** I just said it can be the worse, I never said it was good.

 

 **Bolin:** What if she hurts herself?

 

 **Kuvira:** She’ll have a new battlescar for Kya to kiss.

 

 **Kya:** Yay~

 

 **Mako:** That’s not...good

 

 **Kuvira:** I never said it was good, Mako, fuck off you little shit.

 

 **Opal:** Kuvira is a little tipsy.

 

 **Mako:** I can tell...she doesn’t get triggered this quickly…

 

 **Kuvira:** Maybe I do get triggered easily but I have patience, Mako. You little firebending cunt.

 

 **Bolin:** I like drunk Kuvira already.

 

 **Kuvira:** I’m not drunk, I’m tipsy.

 

 **Bolin:** Same thing.

 

 **Kuvira:** Fuck you, I’m raw dogging your ex.

 

 **Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

 **Bolin:** I AM SORRY BUT THAT WAS SUDDEN AND HILARIOUS

 

 **Mako:** Spirits, Kuvira would be the worse type of ex if she was like that when sober.

 

 **Kuvira:** Mako, shut your fucking mouth little twink boi boi.

 

 **Mako:** Spirits, how drunk is Kuvira?

 

 **Kya:** She’s hunched over Opal like a guard dog and hissing when I get too close. It’s kinda sweet how protective she is.

 

 **Bolin:** Where are you guys at?

 

 **Kuvira:** At my crib, mother fucker.

 

 **Kya:** We’re at her place and just keeping a lookout for Lin.

 

 **Mako:** We’ll keep a look out too.

 

 **Kuvira:** I think the fuck you will.

 

 **Bolin:** Spirits, I want to come by and see drunk Kuvira myself.

 

 **Opal:** Don’t. She’ll snap at you. She barely stops hissing at Kya.

 

 **Kya:** It’s fine. I think she tolerates me.

 

 **Opal:** She bit your hand.

 

 **Kya:** Progress.

 

 **Toph:** Spirits, you kids are a riot.

 

XXX

 

 **Asami:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH LIN????

 

 **Opal:** Ah see? I knew she would turn up.

 

 **Korra:** DID YOU GUYS GET HER DRUNK??

 

 **Kya:** Yah.

 

 **Asami:** WELL FUCK YOU GUYS BECAUSE SHE CAME SWINGING INTO MY HOME AND DEMANDED TO FIGHT THE UCHIHA BRAT

 

 **Kya:** Lol. Been a while since we called you that.

 

 **Asami:** THEN SHE FLEW OUT AFTER GRABBING ONE OF MY RED BRAS AND SAYING SHE GOT A HOLD OF THE SHARINGAN

 

 **Bolin:** HAHAHAHAHAH OMS HAHAHAHAHAH

 

 **Mako:** Did you stop her?

 

 **Korra:** no…

 

 **Mako:** Why not?

 

 **Asami:** We were busy with something and it left us unprepared to deal with her. It took us by surprise.

 

 **Toph:** She totally came in on your two banging.

 

 **Korra:** Yeah…

 

 **Asami:** And we’re kinda stuck.

 

 **Opal:** lol what?

 

 **Korra:** She hung us upside down before she left.

 

 **Mako:** Wtf…

 

 **Asami:** Shut up.

 

 **Kya:** Why didn’t you two fight her??

 

 **Asami:** I...I wasn’t really in the position to fight…

 

 **Opal:** …

 **Opal:** If we come help you, will we see it?

 

 **Asami:** Preferably no. So don’t come.

 

 **Toph:** How are you two texting when you’re tied up?

 

 **Asami:** She didn’t tie up our hands, she just hung us by our feet.

 

 **Kya:** So just untie yourself…?

 

 **Asami:** Look, I’m waiting for Korra to untie herself but I need a bit more time to get out. Okay?

 

 **Opal:** Why?

 

 **Asami:** JUST CAUSE! NOW GO FIND LIN!

 

 **Kuvira:** Doesn’t make sense why you can’t get out yourself.

 

 **Asami:** Stop being so nosy and go find Lin before she does something worse.

 

 **Azula:** WHY DO YOU HAVE A PINK THING COMING OUT OF YOUR BUTT?

 

 **Asami:** Oh fuck you, Azula, go cross over already, you fucking pervert.

 

 **Azula:** FUCK YOU! I AM NOT THE ONE UPSIDE DOWN WITH SOME OBJECT IN MY ASS.

 

 **Asami:** STOP CRITICIZING ME, YOU HOMOPHOBIC IN-THE-CLOSET LITTLE FIRE SHIT

 

 **Ty Lee:** I’m trying guys, Azula is making progress with her own sexuality.

 

 **Azula:** IT WAS ONE KISS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU THINK I AM YOUR GF

 

 **Ty Lee:** Isn’t she so cute?

 

 **Asami:** spirits, I wish we never learned how spirits can interact with us…

 

 **Ty Lee:** You do have a lot of interesting items…

 

 **Asami:** Fuck off...

 

 **Opal:** I’m not surprised, tbh. I’ve seen all your toys.

 

 **Kuvira:** We all have.

 

 **Asami:** Okay fuck you, you guys literally searched my room.

 

 **Kya:** Ah, this is funny af.

 

 **Asami:** this situation won’t be funny if Lin gets herself hurt.

 

 **Mako:** Oh, she’s fine.

 **Mako:** *texts photo*

 

 **Kya:** KJSDJDAFHKLJHSGKLJJHKSGHKLHGLKHGKSDKGHKSDGHKLHGKJHK;SHDFKLGHSDLKHGLSKDHKGDDLFN;LGKJ;LDSJ;GLJSD;LGJ;LSDJG;LSJGL;;DJ

 

 **Opal:** AUNTIE LIIIN YESSS

 

 **Asami:** How dare she…

 **Asami:** That’s my good bra.

 

 **Toph:** What? Describe it to me.

 

 **Bolin:** Lin is wearing the red bra on her face and she drew comma marks on it so it looks like a Sharingan.

 

 **Toph:** I’m so proud of her.

 

 **Korra:** So do I really need to catch her or can she just tire herself out?

 

 **Kuvira:** Do your damn job or I’ll claw you.

 

 **Korra:**??

 

 **Opal:** Oh ignore her. She’s still drunk.

 

 **Kuvira:** I’m tipsy.

 

 **Bolin:** Same thing.

 

 **Kuvira:** Fuck you, lavaboy.

 

XXX

 

 **Lin:** I don’t know what happen but whose bra is this?

 

 **Asami:** It’s mine but you can keep it.

 

 **Lin:** Ah. Cool. Sweet.

 

 **Toph:** Most parents would be ashamed of what you did, but I’m so fucking proud of you. From Melon Lord to Spider Lord, please pass on the Lord pass to your future children.

  
**Lin:** Huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drink responsibly...
> 
> Also, I’ll be gone for a little over a week. So no updates for a while. Until then, here is a good reason why getting drunk isn’t always fun.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	33. When the gf are sick...

**Lin:** Look, I know it’s something fucked up but I have to ask. Why is there a sky bison crushing the police station?

 

**Mako:** Send a pic

 

**Bolin:** Is it like crushed crushed? Or like a little scratch?

 

**Lin:** This massive sky bison is fucking crushing the building. 

**Lin:** Where the fuck have you two been?

 

**Mako:** Eating da noodles

 

**Bolin:** Lunch break

 

**Lin:** You two take way too many lunch breaks

 

**Mako:** *shrugs*

 

**Kuvira:** My bad, Lin

 

**Lin:** Kuvira…

 

**Kuvira:** I may or may not have been too reckless with the sky bison.

 

**Lin:** Why?

 

**Kuvira:** I wanted to take a selfie upside down and I lost control and I had no idea where it landed until you texted.

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** What happen to you? You use to be so feared.

 

**Kuvira:** Love changed me.

 

**Lin:** For the worse…

 

**Kuvira:** Rude.

 

**Korra:** But I still got into the selfie

 

**Kuvira:** Which is fucking impossible but you somehow did it.

 

**Korra:** I told yah. I can photobomb any selfie no matter what.

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Kuvira:** So you know the selfie I posted earlier today?

**Kuvira:** The one you haven’t liked?

 

**Lin:** Sorry, I’m not on Insta all the time. I have a fucking job.

 

**Kuvira:** Anyways, so I post the selfie and Korra texts me to ask me to tag her in it.

**Kuvira:** And I’m like, ‘What? You’re not in my selfie.”

**Kuvira:** And she points it out. She somehow got the back of her head into the right corner of my selfie. No idea how or why but she’s there.

**Kuvira:** I am a noble woman of my word. I have to tag someone if they are in my pictures. It’s the rules.

 

**Lin:** Why did I ask?

 

**Korra:** So Kuvira ran around while I tried to photobomb her selfies. And then it ended up with a bison in your police station.

 

**Lin:** No…

**Lin:** That really shouldn’t elevate to a fucking animal crushing my station.

 

**Mako:** Have you forgotten that Kuvira dropped a ship on Korra?

 

**Bolin:** Or the time she dragged Korra underwater as fast as she could to see how long she can stand the water pressure?

 

**Lin:** What? I didn’t hear about the second story??

 

**Kya:** I’m surprised Korra’s lungs didn’t collapse in on itself.

 

**Korra:** Bc I’m the Avatar

 

**Kuvira:** Duh!

 

**Lin:** That’s not fucking human…

**Lin:** That’s stupid!

**Lin:** What the fuck were you two thinking?

 

**Kuvira:** Korra dared me.

 

**Lin:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD RISK KORRA’S LIFE BY DRAGGING HER INTO DEEP OCEAN AND SEEING IF SHE CAN SURVIVE THE WATER PRESSURE

 

**Korra:** HEY

**Korra:** I’m alive and it shows how much respect and trust I have for Kuvira.

 

**Mako:** Mad respect!

 

**Bolin:** The highest honor of respect.

 

**Lin:** No… that makes no sense

 

**Kya:** Okay but it was funny af

 

**Lin:** You were there!?

 

**Kya:** Well yeah, I’m the other waterbender and Kuvira and Korra asked me to come to make sure things didn’t go horribly wrong.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits.

 

**Korra:** Just saying, I think I broke my record for deepest dive ever

 

**Kuvira:** You’re welcome.

 

**Lin:** Where the fuck was Asami and Opal during this event?

 

**Kuvira:** I think Opal was forced to do some errands for Suyin

 

**Korra:** Asami was at work

 

**Lin:** I’m afraid to ask but where are they now?

 

**Kuvira:** Opal is sick

 

**Korra:** Asami is also sick.

 

**Lin:** So...you two just do this kind of shit when your girlfriends aren’t able to hold you back?

 

**Korra:** HEY

**Korra:** We can do this kind of shit WITH our girlfriends

 

**Kuvira:** We can make our own choices with or without them

 

**Kya:** Debatable

 

**Lin:** Okay, before you two do anything worse, why don’t you two go care for your sick gfs?

 

**Kuvira:** We tried.

 

**Korra:** Asami threw me out of the house for the day and told me to stay away as far as I can to avoid her cold.

 

**Kuvira:** Same with Opal.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

**Lin:** Can you two just not do anymore damage?

 

**Kuvira:** We can try.

 

**Korra:** No guarantee.

 

**Lin:** I’ll take it…

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** NOT EVEN FOR ONE FUCKING HOUR! YOU TWO COULD NOT LAST ONE FUCKING HOUR TO NOT CAUSE DAMAGES

 

**Korra:** YOU SAID FOR KUVIRA AND I TO NOT CAUSE DAMAGES. YOU SAID NOTHING ABOUT MAKO AND BOLIN

 

**Kuvira:** It was their faults.

 

**Lin:** THAT DOESN’T MEAN CAUSE A FUCKING CRATOR IN THE SWAMP

 

**Toph:** THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING GUYS WE HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN

 

**Lin:** I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS DID BUT DO NOT DO IT AGAIN

 

**Mako:** The grandma likes it! We are going to play dodgeball again!

 

**Lin:** How the fuck did dodgeball do this much damage? You guys wiped out half of the swamp…

**Lin:** AND YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSE TO BE BACK AT THE STATION, HELPING ME CLEAN UP

 

**Bolin:** You never asked.

 

**Lin:** oh my spirits…

 

**Asami:** What’s all the ruckus about? I’m trying to sleep.

 

**Opal:** You guys love using this chat, huh?

 

**Lin:** Your girlfriends fucking blew half of the swamp away

 

**Asami:** Oh

**Asami:** Okay.

 

**Opal:** So it’s not an emergency?

 

**Korra:** It was not our fault! Mako thought it was a great idea to incorporate lightning into the game and almost fried us

 

**Kuvira:** And Bolin thought it was a great idea to put fucking lava on the field to make the game harder.

 

**Bolin:** HEY

**Bolin:** You two are butthurt bc you two lost

 

**Kuvira:** At least we didn’t cheat.

 

**Toph:** BUT IT WAS STILL A LOT OF FUN LETS DO IT AGAIN

 

**Lin:** NOOOOO

 

**Kya:** Man, you guys have so much energy

 

**Lin:** @Asami @Opal why can’t you two do something to stop them?

 

**Asami:** They are both very dominant women who gets competitive. What do you expect?

 

**Opal:** Just because we let them use their energy on us all the time, we can only take so much as bottom gays. Since we are sick, letting them burn some energy on us is out of the question. I refuse to let Kuvira get sick.

 

**Asami:** Last time Korra got sick, it was a nightmare to deal with.

 

**Korra:** Thanks?

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits.

**Lin:** You guys are not normal couples.

 

**Asami:** You’re right. We aren’t. We are fucking gay.

 

**Lin:** Not what I meant.

 

**Opal:** Just give them a few more hours and they’ll konk out soon enough.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, what if we played dodgeball without our bending?

 

**Lin:** I’ll fucking take it. Just stop destroying things.

 

**Korra:** No promises.

 

**Lin:** UGH

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** Okay. You guys are all fucking insane.

**Lin:** Why is the hot springs blown up? @Korra @Kuvira

 

**Kya:** That’s my fault. I tipped Korra and Kuvira that Asami and Opal were there and weren’t actually sick. I didn’t think it would lead to them blowing up the hot springs.

 

**Lin:** why…

 

**Asami:** Okay, they were civil when they caught us. Don’t blame them.

 

**Opal:** It was Mako and Bolin’s fault. They knew better than to waltz to our side, where it’s all females.

 

**Mako:** Sorry, I panic when that woman shoved a boulder at me

 

**Bolin:** We’re so close as a group and we have seen each other naked before. We didn’t think about it too much. Our bad. Sorry.

 

**Opal:** Mako, you electrified that poor woman

 

**Mako:** She shouldn’t have overreacted…

 

**Asami:** Bolin, you fucking almost incinerated everyone with your lavabending

 

**Bolin:** I was trying to help my bro

 

**Opal:** You two walked into the woman’s side. What do you expect?

 

**Mako:** HEY

**Mako:** You two didn’t have to fight us.

 

**Bolin:** Asami, why do you bring your electric glove to a hot spring??

 

**Asami:** Um? You never know when I’ll need it, like when you two started launching at everyone.

 

**Opal:** And we had to fight you two off, you two were out of control.

 

**Lin:** Where was Kuvira and Korra during this??

 

**Asami:** I have no idea

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Asami:** It happen so fast. One thing happen, then another. Next thing I know, Kuvira and Korra are in the hospital.

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Opal:** But hey! It was nice to take a break for a few hours. Right Asami?

 

**Asami:** Right Opal.

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** Well, I’m going to shove needles into my body so if you guys need me, do not call me.

 

**Kya:** Kinky

 

**Toph:** Ew

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t lie. Don’t freak out. Or don’t be in Lin’s place.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	34. Would you rather?

**Opal:** If you had to shoot your friend for 100 million yuans, would you do it?

 

**Mako:** No.

 

**Bolin:** Define ‘friend’

 

**Asami:** @Korra let me shoot you in the leg and I’ll let you shoot me in the leg and we can have 200 million yuan.

 

**Korra:** Deal.

 

**Kuvira:** It didn’t say significant other, it said friend.

**Kuvira:** Korra, I’ll shoot you in the leg and you can shoot mine.

 

**Korra:** So do I get 200 million yuans if I get to shoot Asami and Kuvira?

 

**Asami:** Hell yeah, so we get 300 million yuans all together.

 

**Kuvira:** It said friend.

 

**Asami:** Girl friend. Girlfriend.

**Asami:** I see it has the word friend.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay, fine. You’re technically right.

 

**Mako:** Fine, I’ll shoot Korra and Korra can shoot me.

 

**Asami:** Can we stop shooting my girlfriend??

 

**Bolin:** Can I shoot you, Asami?

 

**Asami:** Yeah sure, I got your back.

 

**Opal:** Then I’ll shoot Mako.

 

**Mako:** Fine, I’ll shoot you too.

 

**Opal:** No, that’s sexist.

 

**Mako:** ???

 

**Opal:** I don’t want to get shot.

 

**Mako:** Who can I shoot so I get 100 million yuans?

 

**Asami:** Wu.

 

**Mako:** I don’t want to shoot him.

 

**Asami:** Then you aren’t getting 100 million yuan.

 

**Mako:** You’re already rich.

 

**Asami:** I’m not saying no to basically free money.

 

**Korra:** Shoot yourself because you are your only friend.

 

**Mako:** ...rude.

 

**Toph:** HAHAHA

**Toph:** I would shoot Katara.

 

**Mako:** Can she shoot you back?

 

**Toph:** No. But I have 100 million yuan

 

**Kya:** I’ll let you shoot me, mother.

 

**Toph:** Oh tight, you can shoot me.

 

**Kuvira:** Friend. FRIEND

 

**Toph:** Kya and I are bff so stfu 

 

**Kya:** Tight.

 

**Opal:** Another one. Would you guys suck/eat out your ex’s dick/pussy and have it be publicly known for 100 million yuans?

 

**Asami:** Mako, drop your pants.

 

**Mako:** I don’t consent.

 

**Asami:** Korra, break up with me.

 

**Korra:** We are done, Asami.

 

**Asami:** Okay, let me eat you out and you can eat me out and we get 100 million yuans and get back together.

 

**Korra:** Perfect.

 

**Kuvira:** You’ll have it publicly known. 

 

**Asami:** I stopped giving a fuck when Meelo drew Iroh and I in nude for that stupid naruto reference.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira?

 

**Kuvira:** I’m not sucking Bataar’s dick. Sorry.

 

**Opal:** That’s fine.

**Opal:** Bolin, drop your pants.

 

**Bolin:** Opal, drop your pants.

 

**Kuvira:** I consent to this arrangement for the 100 million yuans.

 

**Bolin:** Perfect.

 

**Toph:** I’m going to pass.

 

**Kya:** Me too…

 

**Opal:** Okay, how about this? Would you guys tell your parent (figures) the dirtiest thing you have done with your significant other for 100 million yuans?

 

**Asami:** @Hiroshi @Yasuko

 

**Hiroshi:** I will give you 100 million yuans to not tell me anything….

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah, please don’t. We can’t die a second time...

 

**Asami:** tight.

 

**Korra:** Nah, I can’t.

 

**Kuvira:** I’ll do it for 10 yuans if it’s to piss Suyin off.

 

**Mako:** I’ll actually give you 10 yuans if you do it.

 

**Kuvira:** Challenge accepted.

**Kuvira:** *sends screenshot*

**** **_Kuvira:_ ** _ I slapped your daughter’s ass last night. _

 

**Mako:** she didn’t respond…

 

**Kuvira:** The thing didn’t say she had to.

 

**Mako:** Fine…

 

**Bolin:** I would pass.

 

**Opal:** I would do it too, just to piss mom off.

 

**Kya:** I’ll pass.

 

**Toph:** We are practically family, Kya. So you can tell me if you need 100 million yuan

 

**Kya:** Oh, then yeah I would do it.

 

**Opal:** Alright, how about this one? Would you kill your significant other for 100 million yuans?

 

**Korra:** Well that escalated really fast.

**Korra:** But pass

 

**Asami:** Pass.

 

**Bolin:** If I had one, pass

 

**Kuvira:** Pass.

 

**Toph:** Considering.

 

**Kya:** Pass.

 

**Opal:** Bolin, are you talking to my brothers yet?

 

**Bolin:** I’m getting there. It’s a slow process. 

 

**Asami:** Okay, but like, Toph would actually consider killing her exes for money.

 

**Toph:** I’m considering which one of my exes.

 

**Opal:** LMAO

 

**Mako:** oms….

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** Why am I not surprised that you guys are having this type of convo?

**Lin:** Why did I bother to check?

 

**Korra:** You love us, don’t lie.

 

**Lin:** Pay me 100 million yuans to make me tell the truth.

 

**Asami:** If we did?

 

**Lin:** I hate all of you guys except Kya.

 

**Asami:** I’ll take it.

 

**Korra:** At least you love one of us.

 

**Kya:** I WUV YOU TOO LIN

 

**Mako:** Stop. That’s so cute.

 

**Bolin:** AWWWW

 

**Toph:** Hurry up and get married.

 

**Lin:** Don’t tell me what to do.

 

**Toph:** I’ll pay you 100 million yuans to marry Kya.

 

**Lin;** I won’t be urged by money.

 

**Kya:** How noble.

 

**Asami:** Korra, you better marry me asap if someone offered you 100 million yuan.

 

**Korra:** Would already be pulling out the ring.

 

**Azula:** YOU GUYS ARE NASTY AF

 

**Asami:** SHUT UP

 

**Ty Lee:** Okay, but like...I would shoot Mai for 100 million yuans and I know she would do the same for me.

 

**Azula:** SAME BUT SHE WOULD KILL ME SO NO.

 

**Toph:** I would kill you for free.

  
**Azula:** FUCK YOU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? When you need 100 million bucks, you gotta do what you gotta do and cheat the system.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	35. Where’s Mako’s scarf?

**Mako:** Has any of you guys seen my red scarf?

 

**Asami:** It’s with your pride and dignity.

 

**Opal:** Along with your honor.

 

**Mako:** Wow. Very mature.

**Mako:** But I’m serious.

**Mako:** Have any of you guys seen it?

 

**Asami:** Idk, Mako. We don’t wear your scarf.

 

**Mako:** Yeah, I get that

**Mako:** Have you guys seen it though?

 

**Opal:** When we saw you last time.

**Opal:** It was around your neck.

 

**Mako:** Yeah...I know.

 

**Asami:** It kinda smelled the last time I was standing a one foot radius of you…

 

**Mako:** Not helpful…

 

**Asami:** Do you ever wash that thing?

 

**Bolin:** He doesn’t.

 

**Mako:** I do.

**Mako:** I do wash it!

 

**Opal:** Okay. That’s a lie. That’s like saying Kuvira won’t put Korra in the hospital again.

**Opal:** btw, you should’ve seen Kuvira yeeting Korra into the sky.

 

**Lin:** WHAT?

 

**Mako:** Guys, I lost my red scarf and I’m kinda freaking out.

 

**Asami:** How do you lose something that you wear 24/7?

 

**Bolin:** A pure miracle.

 

**Lin:** Can we backtrack? What did Kuvira do to Korra this time?

 

**Asami:** Opal literally texted it, Lin. Catch up.

**Asami:** and oms, Korra flew so high until she was just a dot in the sky.

 

**Bolin:** Aw man, wish I was there to see it!

 

**Mako:** If you guys see my red scarf, let me know.

 

**Opal:** Oh my spirits...alright…

 

**Asami:** If I make the effort to try and find it for you, will you wash it?

 

**Mako:** Find it, and we will talk.

 

**Opal:** Asami, I’ll help you.

 

**Asami:** Thanks girl!

 

**Lin:** Guys, please stop ignoring me…

 

**Bolin:** I’ll join too! I really want Mako to wash it.

 

**Asami:** Sure. The more, the merrier.

 

**Lin:** Guys…

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Lin:** What happen between Kuvira and Korra?

 

**Asami:** Do you really want to know? Do you even have the sanity to know?

 

**Lin:** If it involves more property damages, then yes, as the Chief of Police, I need to know.

 

**Asami:** Kuvira threw Korra into the sky by building a launcher with her metalbending.

 

**Lin:** Why?

 

**Opal:** they were bored. Lol

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Asami:** If it makes you feel better, they didn’t destroy any property and no one, except Korra, was harmed.

 

**Lin:** Huh?

**Lin:** I guess that is fine…

 

**Opal:** But Korra got several broken bones.

 

**Lin:** A small price to pay for no casualties.

 

**Korra:** RUDE

 

**Asami:** Oh, hey! You better?

 

**Korra:** Hell yah! Kya fixed me up.

 

**Lin:** It’s not normal that you heal so fast…

 

**Korra:** Well, I am the Avatar.

 

**Lin:** That doesn’t mean you heal so quickly.

 

**Korra:** You don’t know me or how my body works, Lin, so shut the fuck up.

 

**Asami:** I do. ;)

 

**Korra:** ;)))))

 

**Asami:** ;))))))))

 

**Korra:** ;)))))))))))

 

**Lin:** Stop, do it on private message…

 

**Asami:** Hater…

 

**Korra:** Jealous much?

 

**Lin:** No.

 

**Asami:** Sure…

 

**Mako:** Can we meet up so we can figure out how to find my scarf?

 

**Asami:** Fine.

 

**Opal:** Sure, where?

 

**Bolin:** Just meet at Avatar Park

 

**Korra:** Have fun!

 

**Asami:** I’ll miss you!

 

**Korra:** Miss you more!

 

**Asami:** Miss you most!

 

**Lin:** Stop…

 

**Korra:** Go fuck yourself. It might do you some good.

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**Kuvira:** So what did I miss?

**Kuvira:** Just woke up from my mini coma.

 

**Opal:** Lin is being a hater as usual and Mako lost his scarf.

 

**Kuvira:** Ah...so nothing important.

 

**Lin:** How were you in a mini coma?

 

**Kuvira:** Korra landed on me and knocked me out. Duh.

 

**Lin:** Ugh…

 

**Mako:** Are you guys coming or not?

 

**Opal:** Oh my spirits, hold your horses for fuck’s sake…

**Opal:** I’ll miss you Vee!

 

**Kuvira:** Miss you too!

 

**Opal:** I wuv you!

 

**Kuvira:** Wuv you more.

 

**Lin:** STOP

 

**Opal:** Fuck you…

 

**Mako:** Guys? You coming or not?

 

**Opal:** It’s been fucking 5 minutes, Mako shut up.

 

**Asami:** I am unable to respond right now. I must focus on the road. I will return your message when I am available.

 

**Bolin:** Lol!!

 

**Lin:** Why is that funny?

 

**Opal:** She has her auto response on.

 

**Kuvira:** Asami learned her lesson from when we went on that road trip.

 

**Bolin:** We should do that again.

 

**Opal:** We should. 

 

**Kuvira:** We should go visit a new city or something.

 

**Korra:** Let’s go to the North Pole.

 

**Kuvira:** No.

 

**Opal:** No way.

 

**Asami:** I am unable to respond right now. I must focus on the road. I will return your message when I am available.

 

**Korra:** That’s totally funny every time.

**Korra:** And btw, I was joking about the North Pole.

 

**Bolin:** You better be…

 

**Opal:** Guys!

**Opal:** Let’s talk shit about Asami since she can’t respond.

**Opal:** Korra spill some secrets or something.

 

**Korra:** She thinks a tomato is a fruit.

 

**Kuvira:** …

**Kuvira:** Tomato is a fruit.

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Bolin:** NOOO WAY????

 

**Korra:** ….

**Korra:** A tomato is a vegetable.

 

**Kuvira:** No, it’s a fruit.

**Kuvira:** It has seeds in the inside. It’s a fruit.

 

**Korra:** You just ruin my life…

 

**Kuvira:** I gave you another reason why you should stay with Asami.

**Kuvira:** If you stayed with Mako, you would have been curse to remain dumb.

 

**Mako:** RUDE

**Mako:** And are you guys coming or not?

 

**Asami:** I am unable to respond right now. I must focus on the road. I will return your message when I am available.

 

**Lin:** Okay, now I see why this is funny.

 

**Opal:** STOP BEING IMPATIENT MAKO OMFG

 

**Bolin:** Chill bro...

 

XXX

 

**Opal:** I HATE YOU SO SO MUCH MAKO

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU SO MUCH

 

**Bolin:** BROOOOOOO FUCK YOU.

 

**Mako:** Wow…

**Mako:** Rude…

**Mako:** You guys didn’t have to run off…

 

**Korra:** What happen?

 

**Asami:** GUESS WHERE HIS FUCKING SCARF WAS???

 

**Kuvira:** Around his neck?

 

**Opal:** IT WAS AROUND HIS NECK THE WHOLE TIME!!!!

 

**Mako:** I forgot?

 

**Asami:** HOW?? THAT THING STINKS SO MUCH.

 

**Bolin:** I can not believe it was around your neck the entire time….

 

**Mako:** I forgot, sue me!

 

**Asami:** DO NOT TEMPT ME!!

 

**Lin:** Why do you work for me, Mako?

 

**Mako:** I’m strong.

 

**Bolin:** Debatable…

 

**Kya:** He’s really not…

 

**Mako:** Wow, Kya…

 

**Toph:** You’re not strong at all.

 

**Mako:** WOW.

**Mako:** Nice of you two to show up on the chat…

 

**Kya:** I had to tend to an injured Avatar.

**Kya:** Who, by the way, suffered from three broken bones. You? Cried over a red scarf.

 

**Mako:** I didn’t cry over my red scarf…

 

**Opal:** DO NOT FUCKING LIE YOU LITTLE BITCH.

 

**Mako:** It was just a few tears.

 

**Bolin:** Okay, Mako… OOOKAY

 

**Toph:** Remember when we played dodgeball in the swamp? Mako was hit by the ball and was out.

 

**Mako:** IT’S NOT NORMAL FOR KORRA AND KUVIRA TO BE ABLE TO KICK THE BALL THAT HARD! 

**Mako:** AND I WAS OUT FOR 5 MINS!

 

**Toph:** Still...weak.

 

**Mako:** Rude friends I have…

 

**Opal:** dumbass boy here.

 

**Asami:** I am unable to respond right now. I must focus on the road. I will return your message when I am available.

 

**Korra:** HAHAHA why does that make me laugh. Oh Asami

 

**Kuvira:** You might have lost a few brain cells when you rocket launched into the sky...

 

**Lin:** How do I handle you guys every day?

 

**Opal:** I’m family.

 

**Toph:** So am I.

 

**Bolin:** I work for you.

 

**Mako:** You tolerate me to an extend.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m dating your niece.

 

**Kya:** Your lover~

 

**Korra:** I dragged you into my bullshit Avatar duties and you haven’t killed me yet.

  
**Asami:** I am unable to respond right now. I must focus on the road. I will return your message when I am available.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates. I started school so my free time has decreased so much. I’ll try to update weekly! Especially on weekends! 
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	36. SERIOUS QUESTIONS

**Yasuko:** Hey, Asami. I have a very serious question.

 

**Asami:** It’s 4 am in the morning…

 

**Yasuko:** I get serious questions at 4 am in the morning.

 

**Opal:** After all this time, I’m really surprised that we never silence our phones.

**Opal:** So good morning everyone!

 

**Mako:** Morning you fuckheads

 

**Kuvira:** Someone is not a morning person.

 

**Bolin:** At least you aren’t here to see grumpy Mako…

 

**Korra:** We should all go out and watch the sunrise together 

**Korra:** Since we are up now.

 

**Mako:** No

 

**Korra:** Didn’t invite you anyways, grumpy dick

 

**Mako:** Fuck off

 

**Opal:** Okay~ KUVIRA~~

 

**Kuvira:** ;))

 

**Mako:** ugh

 

**Asami:** Mom, what’s your serious question?

 

**Yasuko:** What does water taste like?

 

**Asami: …**

**Asami:** It taste like your ass.

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

**Korra:** LOL

 

**Bolin:** Wait but what does water taste like?

 

**Yasuko:** That’s what I want to know!

 

**Asami:** It taste like emptiness from losing both parent figures in your life. 

 

**Opal:** Well shit…

 

**Kuvira:** Asami, you good?

 

**Asami:** Peachy.

 

**Korra:** She hasn’t slept due to work for days so don’t mind her.

 

**Yasuko:** That still doesn’t answer my question.

**Yasuko:** What does water taste like?

 

**Asami:** It taste like my ass.

 

**Yasuko:** Come on, you went to college.

 

**Asami:** Suck a waterbender’s dick and you have your answer

 

**Opal:** STOP STOP HAHAHA

 

**Korra:** …

**Korra:** I mean...that’s one way to find an answer.

 

**Bolin:** Shit…

 

**Kuvira:** Sleepy Asami is kinda a depressing and angry Asami

 

**Yasuko:** I’m serious, please answer my question.

 

**Asami:** The water itself doesn't have a taste in that it does not activate the tongue's taste receptors. So it’s tasteless but we may never really know the true answer to that question.

 

**Yasuko:** Thank you, sweetie. Love you~

 

**Asami:** Debatable.

 

**Mako:** Great so shut up and go to sleep

 

**Opal:** Just silence your phone, Mako

 

**Mako:** Don’t tell me what to do.

 

**Kuvira:** Silence your phone, you little shit.

 

**Mako:** No.

 

**Bolin:** Why are you like this?

 

**Azula:** HEY SINCE WE ARE ASKING SERIOUS QUESTIONS TO ASAMI, WHAT CAME FIRST? THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?

 

**Asami:** Go suck a cock and find out.

 

**Azula:** RUDE

 

**Mako:** What?

 

**Kuvira:** Cock is another word for a male chicken.

 

**Mako:** I KNOW THAT K?

 

**Kuvira:** No need to get sassy.

 

**Azula:** ANSWER MY QUESTION SLUT

 

**Asami:** Go ask a chicken and tell me what they said.

 

**Azula:** I CAN’T TALK TO A CHICKEN

 

**Asami:** Sounds like a personal problem

 

**Azula:** ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION.

 

**Asami:** Only because I hate that you haven’t figured out how to stop capitalizing your texts.

**Asami:** Two birds that weren't really chickens created a chicken egg, and hence, we have an answer: The egg came first, and then it hatched a chicken. Happy?

 

**Azula:** I DON’T GET IT

 

**Asami:** Too bad, leave me alone.

 

**Hiroshi:** Hey, Asami?

 

**Asami:** WHAT?

**Asami:** Why is the dead asking me questions? Ask Kuvira.

 

**Yasuko:** We wanna ask you.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m smart too.

 

**Korra:** Debatable.

 

**Kuvira:** Rude.

 

**Hiroshi:** I promise it’s an easy question. It’s more like an opinion question.

 

**Asami:** What is it?

 

**Hiroshi:** How do you describe a color?

 

**Korra:** Woah...never thought about that…

 

**Kuvira:** Can you even think?

 

**Korra:** fuck you

 

**Opal:** Wait guys...this question is messing with my head

 

**Mako:** Why does this matter?

 

**Hiroshi:** I’m curious.

 

**Asami:** Well don’t be curious.

 

**Hiroshi:** I’m always curious.

 

**Asami:** Curiosity killed the cat.

 

**Hiroshi: …**

**Hiroshi:** You were adopted.

 

**Yasuko:** I DID NOT CARRY ASAMI FOR 9 MONTHS FOR HER TO BE USED AS AN ADOPTION JOKE THAT ISN’T EVEN FUNNY

 

**Asami:** I wish I was adopted.

 

**Yasuko:** RUDE

 

**Asami:** Dad should’ve disowned me when he was alive.

**Asami:** Maybe it may give me a better chance to get more than 2 hours of sleep.

 

**Korra:** Spirits….this is starting to get really depressing…

 

**Opal:** If you disowned yourself from the Sato name, wouldn’t you lose all your family fortunes?

 

**Asami:** I think I can easily gain all back and more.

 

**Kuvira:** I mean, that’s pretty solid and accurate tbh.

 

**Hiroshi:** Answer my damn question, Asami.

 

**Asami:** WHY?

**Asami:** Do you guys realize that even if we silence our phones, whenever the dead texts us, it just goes through and rings like a motherfucker bc being dead means breaking all the rules apparently???

 

**Hiroshi:** Sounds like a personal problem.

 

**Asami:** You can describe color by using descriptive words that associate with taste, sound, and touch. Yellow can be described as warm and happy. Okay? Now shut up and leave the chat alone.

 

**Azula:** UH BITCH? I THINK THE FUCK NOT

**Azula:** I GOT ANOTHER QUESTION

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU!

 

**Azula:** WHAT DOES A BLIND PERSON SEE? WHAT DOES HUMANS LOOK LIKE TO THEM? CAN THEY SEE AND ASSOCIATE COLORS LIKE WE DO? OR IS IT DIFFERENT TO THEM?

 

**Asami:** THERE IS A FUCKING BLIND LADY IN THE CHAT SO ASK HER!

 

**Toph:** Nah, I want to hear how Asami explains it.

 

**Asami:** I swear to fucking spirits…

 

**Azula:** HOW DO CATS KNOW THEY WILL DIE? THEY ALWAYS LEAVE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO DIE.

 

**Asami:** I don’t fucking know. Ask a cat!

 

**Azula:** HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR MEMORIES ARE TRUE?

**Azula:** IS THE ‘S’ OR ‘C’ SILENT IN ‘SCENT’?

**Azula:** IS QUEUE JUST THE LETTER ‘Q’ FOLLOWED BY 4 SILENT LETTERS?

**Azula:** IF THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING, WHAT IS IT EXPANDING INTO/WHAT’S ON THE OTHER SIDE?

**Azula:** ISN’T SAYING SOMETHING IS INDESCRIBABLE, DESCRIBING IT?

**Azula:** IF A CYCLOPS CLOSES ITS EYE, IS IT A WINK OR A BLINK?

**Azula:** IF YOU STAND BEHIND A CLOCK, IS IT STILL GOING CLOCKWISE?

**Azula:** IF PRUNES ARE DRIED PLUMS, WHERE DOES PRUNE JUICE COME FROM?

**Azula:** WHY DON’T BOOGERS SMELL LIKE ANYTHING?

 

**Korra:** Asami viciously broke her phone.

**Korra:** She tore it apart with her bare hands.

**Korra:** It was terrifying but really hot.

**Korra:** But yah, she’s going to be out of commission for a few days.

 

**Azula:** HAHAHAHAHA

**Azula:** I KNEW I COULD GET HER BACK

 

**Mako:** Can we all just stop texting for ten minutes so some of us can go back to sleep??

 

**Opal:** No. Fuck you.

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** If Asami isn’t admin anymore, can I be admin and get myself out of this chat?

 

**Korra added Asami to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami made Asami admin of group chat “3.0”**

 

**Asami** : No.

  
**Lin:** Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you are the smart one of the group and everyone relies on you for answers at 4 am in the morning....relatable?
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	37. #letkuvirahaveone

**Lin:** Do you guys purposely do this?

**Lin:** Do you go ahead and make the stupid choices you make?

**Lin:** Do you not think of the consequences of your actions?

 

**Korra:** Yes. Yes. No.

**Korra:** In that order.

 

**Kuvira:** You have to admit, Lin, it was worth it.

 

**Bolin:** It’s the best day of my life!

 

**Lin:** Where the fuck are you going to put 250 fire ferrets??

 

**Asami:** Well, that’s not something you hear everyday.

 

**Mako:** I expected Korra and Kuvira to do this. I didn’t think my brother would join in.

 

**Korra:** It was his idea.

 

**Bolin:** IT WAS MY IDEA!

 

**Opal:** Did I read that right? 250 fire ferrets?

 

**Kuvira:** Give or take.

 

**Asami:** Huh.

**Asami:** Well, hope you guys are having fun.

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** How did you even get the money for 250 fire ferrets??

 

**Korra:** Asami gives me an allowance every month and I saved up money for a long time.

 

**Mako:** I’m sorry what?

**Mako:** Asami gives you an allowance??

**Mako:** What are you? Her kid or her girlfriend?

 

**Korra:** I get more money to pay off at least 6 month of your rent, Mako. So shut up.

 

**Mako:** @Asami Can I get an allowance too?

 

**Asami:** No. 

 

**Mako:** I don’t think it’s fair that I didn’t get an allowance when we dated.

 

**Asami:** I didn’t think it was fair that you were cheating on me with Korra but go off, okay?

 

**Mako:** It wasn’t cheating…

**Mako:** I was just concerned for her at the time.

 

**Korra:** Sure, Mako.

**Korra:** SURE

 

**Mako:** I don’t see why we have to turn the tables on me. It’s all in the past.

 

**Asami:** You’re just good at setting yourself up, Mako.

 

**Lin:** Hey, we have more serious issues here than old flames with exes.

 

**Bolin:** NOPE WE ARE GOOD

 

**Opal:** Where are you guys??

 

**Korra:** At the air temple where we are letting the fire ferrets roam free here

 

**Lin:** I’m sure you are going to violate some kind of health code at that temple with 250 fire ferrets.

 

**Kya:** Hey.

**Kya:** It’s the best thing that has ever happen here.

**Kya:** Tenzin looks like he’s going to kill Korra though.

 

**Korra:** Worth it.

 

**Lin:** Where the fuck did you buy 250 fire ferrets???

 

**Bolin:** In an alley.

 

**Kuvira:** From a guy in a sketchy coat.

 

**Lin:** ???

**Lin:** Please tell me you’re just screwing with me.

 

**Kuvira:** You’re a little too old for my taste, Lin.

 

**Lin:** NOT WHAT I MEANT

 

**Kya:** You did set yourself up, honey.

 

**Lin:** UGH

 

**Korra:** We did buy it off from some dude though.

 

**Lin:** Well go find him and return them.

 

**Kuvira:** No.

**Kuvira:** I’m not giving up Great Kuvopal The 25th.

 

**Opal:** AW you named one after us??

**Opal:** DAWWWWWW

 

**Asami:** I’m scared to ask but what happen to the previous 24 Great Kuvopals?

 

**Kuvira:** They didn’t seem to like me enough to stick around but this one does.

**Kuvira:** *texts photo*

 

**Asami:** That’s cute.

 

**Opal:** AWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

**Lin:** Don’t start naming them….

 

**Korra:** Too late.

**Korra:** I love Korra Jr too much.

 

**Kya:** And then there’s Korra’s naming skills.

 

**Korra:** Korra is a good name, stfu

 

**Mako:** Debatable 

 

**Korra:** Shut up, Mako

 

**Bolin:** THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

**Lin:** You guys can’t just dump 250 fire ferrets at the temple…

 

**Bolin:** WE JUST DID THO

 

**Lin:** They can’t all live on one fucking island!

 

**Bolin:** THEY LOOK SO HAPPY

 

**Lin:** I swear to spirits….

**Lin:** We have to at least give them better and more suitable homes.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m not giving up Great Kuvopal The 26

 

**Asami:** What happen to 25th?

 

**Kuvira:** Didn’t like me for some reason. So I found a new one.

 

**Korra:** I got another one and named it Asami Jr.

 

**Kya:** And then there’s Korra back at it again.

 

**Korra:** Well I was going to get another one and name it Kya the 3rd…

 

**Kya:** I’m good, thanks.

 

**Lin:** I’m serious. We have to consider getting these fire ferrets into proper and safer homes.

 

**Kuvira:** You are not taking Great Kuvopal the 30th away from me

 

**Asami:** What???

**Asami:** What happen to the last four???

 

**Kuvira:** They just don’t seem to like me enough to stick around. They keep running away. :(

 

**Opal:** Animals never seem to like you that much anyways.

 

**Kuvira:** I swear I’m a good person now ;(

 

**Opal:** Aww it’s okay babe

**Opal:** I’ll swing by once I finished doing errands for my mom

 

**Mako:** How much did this all cost?

 

**Korra:** Idk

**Korra:** I just gave the guy my card

 

**Lin:** WHAT

 

**Asami:** Well that explains why your account is overdrawn.

 

**Lin:** You gave some stranger your card??!!!!

 

**Korra:** Yah. I did. Not my best moment.

 

**Asami:** It happens, babe.

 

**Lin:** You are being too lenient on her.

 

**Asami:** You handle your gf, I’ll handle mine the way I want

 

**Korra: ;** ))

 

**Lin:** Sigh

**Lin:** I’m already done.

**Lin:** What’s the point in trying?

 

**Kuvira:** I may or may not have accidently broke the temple…

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Kya:** But that was hilarious

**Kya:** Kuvira got spooked when a fire ferret landed on her.

 

**Mako:** So you destroy a temple?? 

 

**Kuvira:** I get scared easily

 

**Opal:** She does.

**Opal:** She almost broke my arm when I spooked her from behind

 

**Korra:** Okay but like…

**Korra:** HOW??

**Korra:** You split the temple in half.

 

**Kuvira:** You try holding back your metalbending when you feel like your heart popped out of your chest and your stomach dropped.

 

**Lin:** For fuck’s sake…

**Lin:** why are you guys like this?

**Lin:** Why can’t you guys be normal adults?

 

**Opal:** Normal?

**Opal:** We bend elements out of thin air.

**Opal:** Asami is the ‘normal’ one out of all of us

 

**Asami:** Debatable 

 

**Korra:** Well, she’s most likely the one who can kick our asses.

**Korra:** With her electric glove, she has taken out packs of benders

 

**Asami:** ;))))

**Asami:** I can take down one specific bender with that same glove too

 

**Korra:** ;)

 

**Asami:** ;)

 

**Opal:** Really? Right on the chat?

 

**Mako:** I guess anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.

 

**Asami:** Hey Mako

**Asami:** SHUT UP

 

**Mako:** I GUESS YOU AIN’T BRAVE BITCH

 

**Asami:** SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHIT

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** Can we go back to the real issue?

 

**Bolin:** BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits….

 

XXX

 

**Toph:** Why did you dump the fire ferrets on me???

 

**Lin:** Just bare it until we find them proper homes...please

 

**Toph:** I mean. I don’t care. I’m just really curious how you guys got so many of them.

 

**Korra:** Money buys you anything.

 

**Lin:** Not when you just give away your card

 

**Kuvira:** I’m going to keep Great Kuvopal the 50th

 

**Asami:** Kuvira, I’m going to be honest

**Asami:** I don’t think you can have a pet because animals don’t seem to like you.

 

**Kuvira:** LET ME HAVE THIS

 

**Opal:** Let her try at least, Asami.

**Opal:** She’s not going to give up.

 

**Mako:** Where did you guys go???

 

**Korra:** We’re on the other side of the swamp.

 

**Mako:** Well wait up. 

**Mako:** My foot got stuck in some kind of hole in the roots of the trees

 

**Asami:** Hey Mako

**Asami:** Put your dick in it.

 

**Mako:** Fuck you.

 

**Asami:** Any hole is good enough if you’re brave enough.

 

**Mako:** Want to put money where your mouth is?

 

**Asami:** @Korra

 

**Korra:** Back off.

 

**Mako:** Tell your gf to fuck off

 

**Asami:** You started it

 

**Lin:** I’M ENDING IT!

 

**Toph:** Why are you so uptight, Lin? Let the kids be kids.

 

**Lin:** They are fucking adults.

 

**Opal:** You’re not wrong.

 

**Mako:** We are fucking adults.

 

**Asami:** We have needs.

 

**Korra:** Lots of them.

 

**Lin:** See what I deal with!?

 

**Toph:** You should’ve been around when I was dealing with the Avatar of my time.

 

**Korra:** YEAH

**Korra:** I can’t be that bad!

 

**Toph:** Oh you are worst than Aang, believe me.

 

**Korra:** …

**Korra:** I take quite offense to that.

 

**Toph:** Good.

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Lin:** How do you do that??

**Lin:** Korra usually tells me to fuck off.

 

**Toph:** I’ll tell you on my deathbed.

 

**Kuvira:** I may or may not have torn up some trees.

 

**Toph:** Oh that’s fine.

 

**Mako:** IT’S NOT

**Mako:** KUVIRA FUCKING FLIPPED THE SWAMP UPSIDE DOWN

 

**Kuvira:** I got scared! I got spooked!

 

**Korra:** STOP FREAKING OUT SO MUCH WHEN YOU ARE SCARED.

 

**Kuvira:** I thought I saw Koh!

 

**Opal:** ish okay baby, you’re alright.

 

**Kuvira:** <3

 

**Opal:** <3

 

**Asami:** Ew, gay.

 

**Opal:** FUCK OFF ASAMI

 

**Asami:** NO.

 

**Kya:** hahahahaha i love you guys

 

**Lin:** Can you guys stop fighting all the time?

 

**Korra:** NO

 

**Kuvira:** *texts photo*

**Kuvira:** This is the one. Here is Great Kuvopal The 69th

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Kuvira:** Don’t.

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Kuvira:** DON’T

 

**Korra:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Kuvira:** I AM FINDING ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE OF YOU

 

**Korra:** I had to! Okay? The 69 was begging me to do it.

 

**Kuvira:** LET ME HAVE ONE

 

**Toph:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Asami:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Opal:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Mako:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Bolin:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Kya:** #letkuvirahaveone

 

**Lin:** Why?

 

XXX

 

**Kuvira:** FOUND ONE

**Kuvira:** GREAT KUVOPAL THE 100TH

**Kuvira:** *texts photo*

 

**Asami:** I’m so happy for you.

 

**Korra:** I told you.

**Korra:** There was one fire ferret for yah

 

**Opal:** I can’t wait to take care of it with you! 

 

**Mako:** Yay. :)

 

**Bolin:** FIRE FERRETS FOR LYFE

 

**Toph:** Good job, Kuvira.

 

**Kya:** I hope you have a beautiful life long journey with Great Kuvopal the 100th

 

**Lin:** …

**Lin:** Congrats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s just another normal day in the Avatar universe~
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	38. Respect Your Elders... (PART 1)

**Kya:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU KIDS DO?

 

**Mako:** Well someone fucked up if Kya is mad…

 

**Kya:** THIS ISN’T MAD TEXTING, THIS IS SURPRISED AND SHOCKED TEXTING.

**Kya:** HOW DID YOU GUYS  DUCT TAPE LIN TO THE WALL AND HAVE HER ACTUALLY STICK UP AGAINST THE WALL????

 

**Opal:** BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ!!!!!

 

**Bolin:** That’s not something you hear everyday.

 

**Asami:** That explains why the latest bill statement from Korra I have just says 50 duct tapes.

 

**Korra:** Guilty as charged

 

**Opal:** KORRA WTF I AM SO CURIOUS WHAT DID YOU DO????

 

**Korra:** I duct taped Lin to the wall.

 

**Kuvira:** *I* did most of the work…

 

**Korra:** Hey, we agreed I did 60 and you did 40

 

**Kuvira:** No. Fuck your stupid agreements.

 

**Korra:** BETRAYAL

 

**Bolin:** Top ten most heartbreaking betrayals

 

**Opal:** OMG STOP

 

**Mako:** Well shit…

**Mako:** I guess I shouldn’t be surprised it was you two.

 

**Korra:** hehehehe

 

**Kya:** *texts photo*

**Kya:** LOOK AT THIS SHIT

 

**Asami:** WOW

**Asami:** Yeah you might need to replace the wall if you rip all that duct tape away.

 

**Bolin:** Can I ask why you two did it?

 

**Kuvira:** We got paid to do it.

 

**Asami:** by who?

 

**Toph:** Me.

 

**Kya:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA I THINK I UNDERSTAND IT NOW

 

**Opal:** What did Lin do to deserve this??

 

**Toph:** She ate my last dim sum.

 

**Asami:** Oh my god…

**Asami:** Really?

 

**Toph:** You always offer the last dim sum to the oldest figure in the present situation.

 

**Asami:** Don’t you think this is overdoing it?

 

**Toph:** Does it seem like I’m fucking playing?

 

**Opal:** STOP STOP HAHAHAHAHAHA STOP STOP

 

**Korra:** Grandma Toph is fucking savage

 

**Asami:** Well excuuuuuse me.

**Asami:** My parents are dead so it’s been a while on elder etiquette 

 

**Yasuko:** I’m not that old.

 

**Asami:** In spirit, you are.

 

**Yasuko:** Keep saying that when you turn past 22 and are older than me.

 

**Asami:** Wait...you’re 22?

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah sure.

 

**Hiroshi:** She’s not…

 

**Yasuko:** Spirits I hate you.

 

**Hiroshi:** That’s not what you said last night.

 

**Yasuko:** Oh you little sly fox~

 

**Asami:** STOP STOP STOP PLEASE KEEP YOUR DEATH LIVES SEPARATE FROM MY LIFE

 

**Mako:** And just like that, this chat is now awkward 

 

**Korra:** It could be worse.

**Korra:** We could be dealing with Lin’s wrath

 

**Toph:** Let her suffer.

 

**Kya:** I mean I have to deal with the brunt of the rage so thanks assholes.

 

**Kuvira:** You’re welcome :)

 

**Bolin:** So...what’s the plan to get her out?

 

**Toph:** She doesn’t get out, that’s the point.

 

**Kya:** Well, I’m afraid she’s going to tear the apartment down so….

**Kya:** Can I release her?

 

**Toph:** If you figure out how.

 

**Korra:** Hint! You can’t.

 

**Mako:** Spirits….

**Mako:** Bolin and I are probably going to get yelled at because of you two.

 

**Kuvira:** Worth it, we got 100000 yuans

**Kuvira:** And I am going to use it to get a gift for Opal

 

**Opal:** AWWWW BABE

 

**Korra:** GAAAYYYY

 

**Asami:** GAAAYYYY

 

**Korra:** Asami, can I take you out for lunch?

 

**Asami:** Of course~ I’ll be waiting~

 

**Korra:** <3

 

**Asami:** <3

 

**Opal:** GAAAAAYYYY

 

**Mako:** So...how is Lin getting out??

 

**Toph:** She isn’t. That’s the point.

 

**Kya:** I think I’ll waterbend the duct tape until it soften enough for me to pull it off.

 

**Korra:** We also used super glue.

 

**Kya:** REALLY??

 

**Toph:** Really.

 

**Asami:** Spirits….

 

**Kuvira:** We are just following orders.

 

**Asami:** I guess??

 

**Toph:** Let this be a lesson to respect your elders.

 

**Yasuko:** YEAH

 

**Asami:** What if your mother died and now taunts you by humiliating you and your father threw you in jail and almost killed you?

 

**Hiroshi:** You still respect them, Asami.

 

**Asami:** Debatable.

 

**Yasuko:** Rude.

 

**Asami:** Well you’re dead so deal with it.

 

**Yasuko:** …

 

**Hiroshi:** …

 

**Asami:** Fucking fight me.

 

**Yasuko:** Fine.

 

**Mako:** OOOOHHHH SHIT

 

**Opal:** Asami is basically asking to be brutally roasted.

 

**Asami:** TRY ME

**Asami:** I’ve seen it all at this point.

 

**Bolin:** Okay but I have an important question!

**Bolin:** How the fuck did you keep Lin still long enough to duct tape her to the wall?

 

**Kuvira:** I think you all underestimate my strength.

 

**Korra:** I’m the fucking Avatar

 

**Kuvira:** Debatable

 

**Korra:** Go fuck yourself.

 

**Kuvira:** Get bent.

 

**Korra:** Screw you.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off.

 

**Korra:** Go suck a dick.

 

**Opal:** PLEASE DON’T

 

**Asami:** ENOUGH

 

**Kya:** I can not understand you two’s relationship.

 

**Korra:** Rivals.

 

**Kuvira:** She’s an annoying little twit that thinks she can match to me.

 

**Korra:** OKAY WOW FUCK YOU

**Korra:** I DEFEATED YOU!

 

**Kuvira:** Barely.

 

**Korra:** I spiritbended!

 

**Kuvira:** True but then you showed me pity and mercy.

 

**Korra:** Bc I’m nice.

 

**Kuvira:** Sure. Whatever you say.

 

**Korra:** Buttface.

 

**Kuvira:** Tinytits

 

**Asami:** OKAY children. Calm down.

 

**Bolin:** We rarely see Kuvira and Korra fight.

 

**Korra:** We fight all the time, we just don’t do it on chat.

 

**Kuvira:** This is true.

 

**Mako:** Well stop fighting and hang out with your girlfriends.

 

**Korra:** Don’t tell me what to do.

 

**Asami:** Korra, I’m waiting~

 

**Korra:** COMING MY LADY LOVE.

 

**Opal:** Kuvira, where are you?

 

**Kuvira:** In front of the park.

 

XXX

 

**Kya:** HOW MUCH SUPER GLUE DID YOU GUYS USE????

**Kya:** GUYS?

**Kya:** I CAN SEE YOU GUYS READING THESE TEXTS

**Kya:** UGH YOU GUYS SUCK

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU TWO

**Lin:** TURN ON YOUR FUCKING LOCATIONS YOU COWARDS

**Lin:** I WILL SHOVE DUCK TAPE IN YOUR THROATS AND SEAL IT WITH SUPER GLUE.

**Lin:** WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU TWO GO????

 

XXX

 

**Yasuko:** That was not what I wanted but it turned out even better.

 

**Asami:** I told you guys can’t beat me.

 

**Hiroshi:** Yeah, we figured.

**Hiroshi:** But damn...poor Lin.

 

**Korra:** *shrugs*

 

**Kuvira:** What happened?

 

**Yasuko:** I ask Meelo and Ikki to trap Asami into an air bubble prison and throw some glue in there for a good measure.

**Yasuko:** Well...guess who they actually caught.

 

**Kya:** Sigh.

**Kya:** I better start shopping for some strong soap for tonight.

 

**Toph:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

**Toph:** YES

 

**Mako:** …

**Mako:** Lin is going to kill us.

 

**Opal:** Why would she kill you? You had nothing to do with it.

 

**Bolin:** Do you think she really cares about that???

 

**Korra:** Nope.

 

**Mako:** Ugh.

 

**Kya:** So...is she okay?

 

**Asami:** Barely.

 

**Yasuko:** No, she’s not.

 

**Kya:** Welp

**Kya:** You guys honestly owe me.

 

**Korra:** Noted.

 

**Kuvira:** Good luck.

 

**Kya:** Thanks, I’ll need it.

 

**Mako:** Yeah, wish me good luck too.

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Mako:** WOW

 

**Korra:** Fuck you.

 

**Bolin:** How about me?

 

**Korra:** Good luck.

 

**Asami:** Good luck!

 

**Kuvira:** Good luck!

 

**Opal:** Good luck!

 

**Toph:** Good luck!

 

**Kya:** Good Luck!

 

**Mako:** WOOOOW

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** Good evening, everyone. How are you all? Anyone up for a late movie night?

 

**Asami:** …

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Mako:** …

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Toph:** …

 

**Opal:** …

 

**Kuvira:** …

 

**Lin:** Is that a yes or no? :)

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....................Who’s legit scared now??
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	39. Respect Your Elders (PART 2)

**Bolin created group chat “Are We Going To Die?”**

 

**Bolin added Asami, Korra, Kuvira, Opal, and Mako to group chat “Are We Going To Die?”**

 

**Mako:** Yes. We are going to die.

 

**Kuvira:** RIP everyone.

 

**Korra:** Why isn’t Toph in here?

 

**Asami:** Do you think Lin actually wants to try and kill her mom after what her mom put her through?

 

**Korra:** No.

 

**Opal:** Alright, let’s keep it 100

**Opal:** This was entirely Korra’s fault.

 

**Mako:** Yeah

 

**Bolin:** I agree

 

**Kuvira:** Me too

 

**Korra:** YOU were with me.

 

**Kuvira:** You have no proof.

 

**Korra:** You literally were trying to claim most of the credit in the other chat…

 

**Kuvira:** Well

**Kuvira:** I changed my mind.

 

**Bolin:** Real talk though…

**Bolin:** It was entirely Toph’s fault.

**Bolin:** She knew Korra and Kuvira would be stupid enough to follow her orders for money.

 

**Kuvira:** Wow.

**Kuvira:** You are on your own then.

**Kuvira:** I ain’t going to try and protect your ungrateful ass.

 

**Korra:** Yeah, you deserve that Bolin.

 

**Bolin:** Hey, someone had to tell the truth!

 

**Mako:** Wait….

**Mako:** Kuvira, you were going to protect Bolin when we head to Lin’s home??

 

**Kuvira:** Not anymore

 

**Bolin:** *shrugs*

 

**Mako:** ...So….was I going to be unprotected?

 

**Asami:** That was the plan

 

**Opal:** You’re going to be the sacrificial lamb to the lion while we run away.

 

**Mako:** REALLY?

 

**Korra:** Yep

 

**Mako:** THIS ENTIRE THING IS DEFINITELY NOT MY FAULT

**Mako:** I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS

 

**Bolin:** in every friend group, there needs to be the one who has to take it all

 

**Asami:** That’s you.

 

**Mako:** I fucking hate you guys.

 

**Korra:** You just realize that?

 

**Opal:** Kinda old news

 

**Mako:** fuck you guys

 

**Bolin:** okay but for reals, why are we even going? We don’t have to go…

 

**Asami:** Did you not see her last text? She used a smiley face. We are going to die if we don’t go.

 

**Bolin:** But we’ll die when we get there?

 

**Opal:** It’s either die with shame or die with honor.

 

**Kuvira:** I choose honor.

 

**Korra:** Honor.

 

**Bolin:** Yeah, I see it. Honor.

 

**Asami:** Honor.

 

**Mako:** Shame.

 

**Asami:** You fucking coward.

 

**Mako:** I think you guys are being pussies. You guys need to grow a pair of balls.

 

**Opal:** At least pussies can take a pounding, unlike balls.

 

**Korra:** DAMN OPAL AHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**Asami:** SHOTS FIRED

 

**Kuvira:** SOMEONE TELL LIN THAT MAKO ALREADY DUG HIS OWN GRAVE AND LAID HIMSELF DOWN IN IT

 

**Bolin:** I’M CRYING!!!!!

 

**Mako:** FUCK YOU GUYS

 

**Opal:** I AM HERE ALL WEEK GUYS THANK YOU

 

**Korra:** So I guess we should get going…?

 

**Bolin:** I guess…

 

**Opal:** It’s just watching a movie and having dinner. Let’s try to keep it like that.

 

**Mako:** Rip for all of us.

 

**Asami:** Oh? So you are coming?

 

**Mako:** I’m not risking myself for a chance to be killed alone…

 

**Kuvira:** Wise choice

 

XXX

 

**In group chat “3.0”**

 

**Lin:** I’m going to take an educated guess and say that you are all on the toilet right now.

 

**Mako:** How the actual fuck did you know that?

 

**Lin:** Intuition.

 

**Korra:** We left like 30 mins ago….how??

 

**Lin:** Are you on the toilet?

 

**Korra:** Yeah…

 

**Opal:** I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH THAT CURRY!!!! WHY DID I EAT IT?

 

**Bolin:** My butthole is literally on fire.

**Bolin:** I don’t fucking deserve this…

 

**Lin:** You kinda do. You all do, you stupid kids.

 

**Bolin:** It was ALL Korra’s fault.

 

**Korra:** DON’T FUCKING PUT THE BLAME ON ME!

**Korra:** MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE IT IS ON FIRE!!!!

 

**Mako:** What the fuck did you put in our curry?

 

**Lin:** Laxatives. Lots of it.

 

**Mako:** spirits….

 

**Kuvira:** I feel like there’s a hole being burned in my stomach.

 

**Korra:** This is not what we deserve…

 

**Lin:** You kinda deserve it.

 

**Kya:** Sorry...I couldn’t say anything….

**Kya:** I was threaten to sleep outside if I said anything.

 

**Korra:** NOT HELPFUL

 

**Kuvira:** We are all going to actually die….

 

**Mako:** Is it weird that I’m not surprised that we would die on the toilet?

 

**Opal:** GO FUCK YOURSELF MAKO!

 

**Mako:** Please no…

 

**Lin:** Man, this feels great.

**Lin:** I wonder if this is how it feels when almost everyone suffers on the chat?

 

**Korra:** SPIRITS I REALLY FUCKING HATE YOU

 

**Kuvira:** It was your fault, Korra!

 

**Korra:** STOP PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME!!!!

 

**Lin:** How’s Asami doing?

 

**Asami:** I’m actually doing just fine. I just got back with some stomach medication for Korra.

 

**Kuvira:** …

 

**Opal:** …

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Mako:** …

 

**Korra:** OH SPIRITS THANK YOU

 

**Lin:** I see that it didn’t affect you…

 

**Asami:** I actually have a strong stomach and I really like spicy food.

 

**Bolin:** You barfed when Varrick gave you some dish to try.

 

**Asami:** I have a strong stomach, not strong taste buds.

 

**Opal:** ASAMI MY STOMACH IS ON FIRE

 

**Asami:** Poor thing.

 

**Mako:** Death sounds so sweet when your stomach feels like it’s going to rip apart.

 

**Asami:** Calm down, you are letting your inner brooding teen out.

 

**Kuvira:** We’re all in unison that this is all Korra’s fault?

 

**Mako:** Yeah.

 

**Opal:** Yeah

 

**Bolin:** yep

 

**Asami:** no…

 

**Lin:** Yes.

 

**Kya:** yah

 

**Korra:** IF I WASN’T FEELING LIKE I AM GOING TO DIE, I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU ALL

 

**Asami:** Excuse me…

 

**Korra:** except you babe…

 

**Aang:** Well, I guess you guys are having a ‘shitty’ night.

 

**Asami:** …

 

**Kuvira:** …

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Mako:** ...

 

**Opal:** …

 

**Lin:** …

 

**Kya:** …

 

**Korra:** holy fucking shit…

 

**Toph:** HEY! TWINKLE TOES! IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU SHOWED UP! HOW YAH DOING YAH BALD ASS BITCH!?

 

**Aang:** Damn it...you’re still alive….I thought I waited long enough…

 

**Toph:** BITCH YOU THOUGHT

 

**Korra:** THIS IS THE WORST TIME FOR YOU TO POP UP AVATAR AANG!!!!

 

**Aang:** I popped up because you guys are in deep shit.

 

**Mako:** I DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR SHIT PUNS.

 

**Bolin:** WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?????

 

**Aang:** I am THE shit. 

 

**Opal:** Please kill me…

 

**Kuvira:** We are going to die and be humiliated by an Avatar.

 

**Asami:** This would be how Team Avatar ends…

 

**Lin:** Fucking hilarious!

**Lin:** Best fucking night of my life!

 

**Kya:** This is the lowest point for Team Avatar…

 

**Aang:** Nah, shit just got started.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit...did I just post two chapters in one day? Hell fucking yeah.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	40. Original Team Avatar Reunion [Part 1]

**Aang:** So how are you guys doing?

**Aang:** You guys feeling better?

 

**Mako:** Barely.

 

**Opal:** I think I’m alive…

 

**Kuvira:** Besides the constant burning sensation when I go to the bathroom? I’m peachy.

 

**Bolin:** UGH. KILL ME.

**Bolin:** My stomach still hurts! 

 

**Korra:** I’m legit scared that I might need a new stomach.

 

**Asami:** Just drink lots of water and rest, baby.

 

**Aang:** So? You guys up for some fun?

 

**Opal:** Will we die?

 

**Aang:** Maybe.

 

**Opal:** I’m in.

 

**Bolin:** MY STOMACH BUUUURNS

 

**Aang:** I’ll take that as a yes.

 

**Korra:** I have a question.

 

**Aang: ?**

 

**Korra:** Did you just figure this texting thing out?

 

**Aang:** No, I figured it out a loooong time ago. 

**Aang:** I just didn’t make my appearance until now.

 

**Toph:** HEY, AANG. What’s good? I just learned that you’ve been texting with Katara and Zuko this whole time.

**Toph:** You little son of a bitch.

 

**Aang:** Yes…

 

**Toph:** And you didn’t tell me? Katara didn’t tell me? Zuko didn’t tell me?

 

**Aang:** Would you have wanted to join the chat?

 

**Toph:** Fuck no. Katara and Zuko are boring af.

 

**Aang:** Hence why I didn’t tell you sooner.

 

**Toph:** Don’t get smart with me, Twinkle Toes.

 

**Aang:** What are you going to do? Hit me? I’m a spirit.

 

**Toph:** I know where you hid that special scroll that contains a fanfic of you and Zuko.

 

**Aang:** THAT WAS BURIED YEARS AGO AND IT IS LONG GONE

 

**Toph:** BURIED? IN THE FUCKING EARTH?

**Toph:** DON’T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN’T BURN IT

**Toph:** BUT I AM A FUCKING EARTH BENDER

 

**Aang:** IT IS NOT EVEN A FUCKING FANFICTION

**Aang:** AND I PANICKED AT THE TIME AND FORGOT THAT I CAN FIREBEND

 

**Toph:** You would forget how to bend an element

 

**Aang:** Fuck you.

 

 

**Toph:** Should I start quoting it?

 

**Aang:** YOU HAVE IT??

**Aang:**  YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE WHAT I COULD HAVE WROTE

 

 **Toph:** I have my ways.

 **Toph:** AND AGAIN, I AM AN EARTHBENDER!

 

**Aang:** I buried it in the sand…

 

**Toph:** Sand can’t fully stop me. I just have a harder time dealing with it.

 

**Aang:** Have I told you how much you annoy me?

 

**Toph:** Many times, Twinkle Toes.

 

**Bolin:** Someone has to ask.

**Bolin:** Does Katara know about this scroll?

 

**Aang:** No…

**Aang:** And none of you guys are going to tell her. OR ZUKO. Right?

 

**Korra:** Do I have to listen?

 

**Aang:** You do know that you can see every Avatar’s sex life?

 

**Korra:** I’ll shut up.

**Korra:** We are all shutting up.

**Korra:** PLEASE.

 

**Mako:** Doesn’t affect us nonavatars. So you can’t stop us.

 

**Asami:** Don’t be an ass, Mako.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah come on. Korra doesn’t need to see how her past lives got it on.

 

**Bolin:** You are such a dick, Mako.

 

**Opal:** Biggest douche in the world.

 

**Mako:** Okay nevermind…

 

**Asami:** So...when Korra dies and the next Avatar appears, they can see our sex lives?

 

**Aang:** Ideally we don’t want to see it. Out of respect, we don’t pry into those memories.

**Aang:** But some Avatars have no shame…

 

**Korra:** Do all the past Avatars hang out or something?

 

**Aang:** We got nothing better to do except watch you fail so many times.

 

**Korra:** Maybe instead of giving me vague vision, just fucking tell me what to do.

 

**Aang:** Ugh, that means we have to try and socialize? Nah, you’ll understand when you become one of us.

 

**Korra:** Sounds like fun…

 

**Kuvira:** It just sounds like you guys like to mess around with the current avatar.

 

**Aang:** Well, if you put it like that, you make us sound like assholes.

 

**Opal:** Because you guys are.

**Opal:** You could’ve saved Korra so much trouble if you fucking told her the answers.

 

**Aang:** That’s boring. We liked watching Korra running around like a chicken without their head.

 

**Korra:** Gee, thanks.

 

**Aang:** When you are with us, you will see how fun it is to mess with the new Avatar.

 

**Korra:** Looking forward to it…

 

**Asami:** Okay, I’m still stuck on the fact that the Avatars can just see other’s sex lives.

**Asami:** Is there a way for Korra to lock those specific memories?

**Asami:** I really don’t want a bunch of perverts looking at us, since we are two girls and all.

 

**Aang:** Again, we are respectful enough to not pry.

**Aang:** And btw, Korra isn’t the only bisexual

 

**Toph:** Yes, we know you have a thing for young Zuko.

 

**Aang:** I did NOT. For fuck sake, I did not.

 

**Toph:** So am I suppose to believe “ZuZu” isn’t a pet name?

 

**Aang:** IT’S NOT

**Aang:** It’s not a fanfiction either.

**Aang:** It was just a heartfelt letter to Zuko on how much it meant that he and I were friends. I wrote it when I was really drunk.

 

**Toph:** That’s how Asami and Korra got started. It started with letters.

 

**Asami:** That is true.

 

**Korra:** It’s okay to admit you found Zuko attractive and still be loyal to Katara.

 

**Aang:** Attracted to Zuko? Have you seen him lately? He’s so old. 

 

**Toph:** WELL EXCUSE US, WE DIDN’T DIE AT LIKE 66

**Toph:** Some of us are just healthier I fucking guess.

 

**Kuvira:** Are you saying that Katara isn’t attractive anymore because she’s old?

 

**Aang:** Never said that. 

**Aang:** In fact, I think she aged like fine wine.

 

**Opal:** Can we backtrack?

**Opal:** There were other gay Avatars?

 

**Korra:** No way. I don’t believe it.

 

**Bolin:** Did you not see that Aang basically admits to having a crush on Zuko?

 

**Aang:** I DID NOT. TOPH KEEP PUTTING THINGS OUT OF CONTENT!

 

**Toph:** Keep telling yourself that.

 

**Korra:** I just thought I was the first openly bisexual Avatar.

 

**Kyoshi:** Um? I think the fuck not?

 

**Aang:** Here she goes again…

 

**Asami:** Who is she?

 

**Kyoshi:** THE first openly bisexual Avatar.

 

**Korra:** No way…I never knew...

 

**Kyoshi:** Girl, I had ladies lining themselves up for me.

**Kyoshi:** Sometimes it would just be me and the ladies. Spirits, those nights were amazing.

 

**Asami:** I like her. She seems like a fun gay friend.

 

**Kyoshi:** Damn, if you were around during my time, I would have made you my main wifey.

 

**Korra:** Back off.

 

**Kyoshi:** I’m like 6.5 feet tall, bitch. Fight me.

 

**Aang:** And she has big feet.

 

**Kyoshi:** WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO SHARE THAT ABOUT ME?

 

**Toph:** That is true.That was the first thing I learned about you during my prime.

 

**Aang:** You have really big feet, Kyoshi. It’s kinda scary. 

 

**Kyoshi:** You know what they say about girls with big feet?

 

**Asami:** They’re tall?

 

**Kyoshi:** And what do tall people have?

 

**Opal:** Spirits….

 

**Kyoshi:** Ah, you must be a bottom. You get it.

 

**Kuvira:** Back off.

 

**Kyoshi:** 6.5 feet. Fight me.

 

**Asami:** No...I don’t know what tall people have…

 

**Korra:** Oh…

**Korra:** OH

**Korra:** BACK THE FUCK UP KYOSHI

 

**Kyoshi:** Heheheheheh ;)

 

**Mako:** Oh...I just got it…

 

**Bolin:** What? I don’t get it…

 

**Asami:** Seriously, what is it?

 

**Kyoshi:** I got long fingers. ;)

 

**Asami:** What?

**Asami:** Oh…

**Asami:** Um...I need my girlfriend….

 

**Korra:** Back off Kyoshi.

 

**Kyoshi:** Okay, I’m not going to steal your girlfriend. I’m just teasing.

**Kyoshi:** But...if you ever need an extra workout you know where to find me~

**Kyoshi:** I can split the lands apart, so that’s just a foreshadowing of what we can do ;)

 

**Korra:** BACK OFF KYOSHI

 

**Opal:** Spirits…

**Opal:** Asami you lucky bastard.

 

**Asami:** Was I just offered ghost sex?

 

**Mako:** HAHAHAHA LAAAAME

 

**Bolin:** Bro, she gets way more than you do and you are in a relationship.

 

**Mako:** Fuck you, Bro….

 

**Aang:** Oooo, burn

 

**Kyoshi:** You’ll need a waterbender for that burn.

 

**Korra:** I’m not helping.

 

**Mako:** Fuck you guys.

 

**Kyoshi:** You act like someone with a small dick.

 

**Mako:** SPIRITS FUCK FUCK YOU

 

**Opal:** You’re not wrong.

 

**Kuvira:** That was pretty spot on.

 

**Mako:** I really fucking hate you guys.

 

**Asami:** Good.

 

**Korra:** Die mad.

 

**Toph:** Seriously, what’s your problem?

 

**Mako:** Fuck you.

 

**Kyoshi:** Yep, tiny dick man over here.

 

**Mako:** Go fuck yourself.

 

**Kyoshi:** I would but I have a line of ladies needing my attention

**Kyoshi:** So it was nice talking to you guys.

**Kyoshi:** And Asami~ if you ever get tired of Korra, you are more than welcome to come join me when you pass on

 

**Korra:** BYE KYOSHI

 

**Kyoshi:** Byeeee

 

**Mako:** Spirits, can’t believe another Avatar is on my case about my dick

 

**Asami:** You think your problem is bad?

**Asami:** I now have to live with the fact that Kyoshi has probably seen Korra and I’s sex life bc she prolly can...

**Asami:** So she has probably seen me naked already

 

**Mako:** And that’s an issue how?

 

**Opal:** Why are you such a dick, Mako?

 

**Kuvira:** You really are a dick, Mako.

 

**Bolin:** You really have been acting like a dick all day.

 

**Korra:** Cool off Mako.

 

**Toph:** Fuck off, Mako.

 

**Mako:** ?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

**Aang:** Anyways, now that she is gone, are you guys still up for some fun?

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** I’m afraid to ask but where did you guys go?

 

**Opal:** We’re in a desert.

 

**Kuivra:** Somewhere.

 

**Asami:** Really sandy.

 

**Mako:** It’s hot.

 

**Korra:** But we about to get lots of money.

 

**Toph:** I stayed behind. I ain’t going to a desert.

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Aang:** Can one of you guys tell Bolin not to drink that cactus he’s holding?

 

**Kya:** WOAH BACK UP

**Kya:** AVATAR KYOSHI WAS HERE AND NONE OF YOU GUYS WANTED TO TELL ME?

**Kya:** Fake friends here. Fake as fuck. Wow. Fuck you guys. I’ve always wanted to meet the woman who was known for the biggest feet ever.

**Kya:** Oh, hey dad.

 

**Aang:** Sup.

 

**Lin:** WHY?

 

**Kya:** Don’t you know what they say about women with big feet?

 

**Lin:** No…

 

**Bolin:** I CAN SEE SOUNDS GUYS!!!!!

**Bolin:** YA’LL SHOULD TRY THIS SHIT

 

**Aang:** And...just like that, an entire group of young adults are drunk off of cactus juice…

 

**Toph:** Brings back memories.

 

**Aang:** Would you remember how to cure this?

 

**Toph:** The only one who was stupid enough to drink it was Sokka.

 

**Sokka:** You called?

 

**Aang:** Hey, where have yah been?

 

**Sokka:** At the moon with Suki, hanging with Yue

 

**Toph:** Really?

 

**Aang:** REALLY?

 

**Lin:** Oh spirits...please tell me I am drunk…

  
**Kya:** CAN ANY OF YOU GUYS CALL FOR KYOSHI? I WANT TO MEET HER!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been wanting this. You wanted to see if the original Team Avatar could come through. Well, be prepared for it. As well as some other special guests~ Let me know if there are specific characters you would like me to put in during these special chapters from The Last Airbender series. I'm planning to make these chapters longer too!
> 
> Also, they make a huge point about Kyoshi having the biggest feet when I looked her up. What's up with that?
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro--nerd


	41. Original Team Avatar Reunion [Part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed so hard writing this. I'm sorry, Mako fans. I really bash him too hard.

**Lin:** Just know that all of you guys owe Kya big time.

 

**Aang:** She’s a good kid. She really is.

 

**Toph:** I didn’t know that you can suck frogs to cure a hangover

 

**Sokka:** Frogs are weird

 

**Aang:** Truth

 

**Lin:** Kya’s a smart woman. She’ll know how to cure those kids.

 

**Aang:** So you’re dating my daughter…

 

**Lin:** Yeah. I am.

 

**Aang:** So Toph and I are going to be in-laws if you two married?

 

**Lin:** Well, I guess. Marriage isn’t something of a top priority right now.

 

**Aang:** You’re fine with that, Toph?

 

**Toph:** Only if Kya takes the Beifong family name.

 

**Aang:** Of course...

 

**Toph:** Beifong4lyfe

 

**Sokka:** So Lin? Are people still thinking I’m Suyin’s father?

 

**Lin:** There are some idiots that are convinced of it.

 

**Sokka:** Cool. You know I started those rumors as a joke.

 

**Toph:** Worst joke ever.

 

**Suki:** It really is.

 

**Aang:** Suki! Hey!

 

**Toph:** What’s up?

 

**Suki:** Nothing much, just eating peaches with Yue. Yue says hi.

 

**Sokka:** Peaches on the moon taste fucking delicious. You guys should come by.

 

**Toph:** Sure, let me just fucking walk up there.

 

**Sokka:** The invite was directed to the other fellow spirits, dumbass

 

**Toph:** You really ruin my reputation with that stupid rumor.

 

**Sokka:** Do you actually care?

 

**Toph:** Not really. Lin is the one who’s butthurt.

 

**Lin:** It doesn’t help that you weren’t the best mother either.

 

**Toph:** But guess who is getting the Avatar’s kid into their family. ME

 

**Aang:** Show off…

 

**Toph:** Hey, since you guys are here. We got to finish the team.

 

**Toph added Zuko and Katara to group chat “3.0”**

 

**Zuko:** Well this brings back lots of memories.

 

**Katara:** Where in the world have you been, Sokka?

 

**Sokka:** Up in the moon with Suki and Yue.

 

**Zuko:** You can go to the moon?

 

**Sokka:** Yue really made quite a home for herself up there.

 

**Yue:** Hi?

**Yue:** Oooo I figured it out!

 

**Suki:** Yay! I knew you could do it.

 

**Aang:** This brings a lot of good memories.

 

**Zuko:** I don’t think we properly met, Yue. I’m Zuko. Nice to meet you. I joined Team Avatar later on. I was on the enemy side but I joined Aang’s side.

 

**Yue:** Nice to meet you, Zuko!

 

**Sokka:** Aw, we are like one big happy family.

 

**Toph:** Gross.

 

**Sokka:** Fuck you.

 

**Katara:** And Toph ruins the happy mood.

 

**Toph:** You’re welcome.

 

**Lin:** She’s good at ruining lives too.

 

**Toph:** Get over it.

 

**Lin:** The kids are too wasted to disrespect me so let me have this.

 

**Zuko:** Didn’t Kya date my daughter once?

 

**Lin:** Wait, what?

 

**Katara:** You could’ve eased that one in a bit slower, Zuko.

 

**Zuko:** Sorry.

**Zuko:** But yeah, didn’t Kya date my daughter? Do you guys know what happened between them?

 

**Lin:** I don’t know...we all hung out a lot and then Kya just stopped talking to Izumi.

**Lin:** Wait so...Kya and Izumi dated?

 

**Toph:** Oh you weren’t around when Asami deduced that Kya did date Izumi when she was coming to visit.

 

**Lin:** Yeah, when Bolin straight up asked Izumi if Kuvira is her daughter…

 

**Katara:** I think I remember Kya telling me this.

**Katara:** I think she said something that Izumi wore socks with sandals to the date.

 

**Zuko:** What’s wrong with that?

 

**Katara:** A horrible look.

 

**Aang:** Truly the worst.

 

**Sokka:** Really ugly.

 

**Suki:** Not a good first impression.

 

**Yue:** A huge no no.

 

**Zuko:** It’s not that bad.

 

**Azula:** IT’S A FUCKING UGLY LOOK BRO

 

**Suki:** Ew.

 

**Sokka:** Ew...you’re still around.

 

**Azula:** FUCK YOU GUYS

 

**Katara:** Go away.

 

**Azula:** DON’T NEED TO ASK ME TWICE!

 

**Zuko:** I’m so glad she wasn’t around when Izumi was growing up.

 

**Azula:** I WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT AUNTIE FUCK YOU.

 

**Zuko:** Fuck you, Azula.

**Zuko:** Just...fuck you.

 

**Ty Lee:** I’m trying.

 

**Sokka:** LMAO

 

**Aang:** Why didn’t we get together like this earlier? This is so much fun.

 

**Zuko:** Debatable

 

**Aang:** You’re always such a downer.

 

**Zuko:** *shrugs*

 

**Toph:** …

 

**Aang:** Toph, shut up.

 

**Toph:** I wasn’t going to do anything.

 

**Aang:** Just don’t.

 

**Toph:** Don’t what?

 

**Aang:** You know what I mean.

 

**Toph:** Maybe Zuzu will know what you mean.

 

**Aang:** I really hate you.

 

**Zuko:** Who’s Zuzu?

 

**Katara:** Doesn’t sound familiar.

 

**Aang:** NOTHING

 

**Sokka:** No secrets in Team Avatar

 

**Aang:** That team was disbanded long ago.

 

**Sokka:** This group chat is literally Team Avatar with the new kids.

 

**Aang:** That’s a different Team Avatar

 

**Zuko:** It’s still technically Team Avatar.

 

**Suki:** He’s got a point there.

 

**Aang:** Spirits…

 

**Katara:** Where are they?

 

**Toph:** Drunk af.

**Toph:** Kya’s getting frogs to help them out.

 

**Zuko:** What did they drink?

 

**Toph:** Cactus Juice.

 

**Sokka:** That stuff is strong!

 

**Katara:** Oh my spirits, I remember that with you, Sokka.

**Katara:** Literally, right after you sobered up, you put more things in your mouth and got drunk again.

 

**Sokka:** I was a curious boy.

 

**Katara:** A dumbass boy.

 

**Sokka:** Rude.

 

**Zuko:** How did they all drink Cactus Juice?

 

**Aang:** Just putting it out there, I warned Bolin not to drink it.

 

**Suki:** Well..your warning wasn’t good enough.

 

**Korra:** It really wasn’t.

 

**Aang:** WHY WOULD YOU ALL DRINK IT AFTER I WARNED YOU GUYS?

 

**Opal:** Curiosity.

 

**Sokka:** See?

 

**Kuvira:** Am I still drunk? Or are there a lot more people on this chat?

 

**Asami:** Nope, we are sober thanks to Kya. There are a lot more people on this chat.

 

**Lin:** I assume you guys are okay? How’s Kya?

 

**Kuvira:** She’s knocked out after chasing frogs for hours for us.

 

**Bolin:** We owe her.

 

**Lin:** You better.

 

**Asami:** So what have you guys been up to?

 

**Katara:** Just talking as usual.

 

**Zuko:** Trying to figure out what Zuzu is about.

 

**Aang:** Moment has passed. Get over it and forget it.

 

**Mako:** whats au fuck is ging on?

 

**Asami:** We didn’t give a frog to Mako. We stopped Kya in time and let her sleep.

 

**Aang:** Why?

 

**Opal:** Why would we not?

 

**Korra:** It’s funny.

**Korra:** He looks so mad but he’s crying at the same time.

 

**Mako:** Whre is mi pee pee?

 

**Asami:** You don’t have one. You’re actually a girl.

 

**Mako:** Wht the fack? You guys tok my pee pee away?

 

**Kuvira:** No. You were always a girl.

 

**Lin:** Guys...stop.

 

**Opal:** No, this is hilarious.

 

**Mako:** immmai gir?

 

**Bolin:** Yeah, you’re my sister.

 

**Mako:** What za fook?

 

**Lin:** Guys...stop…

 

**Asami:** No.

 

**Sokka:** Mako, I’m your father.

 

**Mako:** Iz dat why i so fucing ugly?

 

**Katara:** YEP THAT’S THE TRUTH!

 

**Bolin:** LMAO LMAO LMAO YES YES 

 

**Sokka:** UGH NO NO YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL LADY!

 

**Suki:** This is so funny, oms

 

**Yue:** That backfired on Sokka real fast.

 

**Mako:** imme ugly ladi

 

**Sokka:** NO 

**Sokka:** You’re a pretty lady.

 

**Mako:** I got ugli bc of u dad

 

**Sokka:** Oh my spirits no…

 

**Katara:** YES HAHAHA

 

**Asami:** Stop, I’m crying oms

 

**Korra:** BEST DECISION EVER!

 

**Kuvira:** Let's give him more cactus juice.

 

**Asami:** YES!

 

**Opal:** YES

 

**Lin:** NO

 

**Aang:** NO

 

**Zuko:** Mako, did you know all firebenders eat ghost peppers to help power themselves up?

 

**Mako:** i wn to be a strong ugli ladi

 

**Zuko:** Ask your friends to get you a ghost pepper.

 

**Mako:** fwiens i wan a fire pooper

 

**Asami:** Opal is buying one from a nearby market.

 

**Mako:** tink u Amaterasu

 

**Asami:** You’re welcome, ugly lady.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Aang:** Why do you guys do this to him?

 

**Toph:** It’s funny.

 

**Bolin:** He deserves it, though.

 

**Aang:** WHY?

 

**Kuvira:** He just does.

 

**Lin:** You guys are horrible friends.

 

**Korra:** But it’s going to be fucking hilarious.

 

**Sokka:** It will be.

 

**Suki:** I’m ready.

 

**Yue:** Me too.

 

**Asami:** Not to be rude but who the fuck are you?

 

**Yue:** The Moon Spirit.

 

**Sokka:** That’s where Suki and I have been, at the moon.

 

**Korra:** Well...shit

**Korra:** What’s up?

 

**Yue:** It’s kinda cold at the moon but it’s pretty great up there.

 

**Mako:** cn ugli ladi go to moon

 

**Yue:** No, I don’t accept ugly ladies at the moon.

 

**Mako:** Fack

 

**Katara:** Spirits, I haven’t laughed this hard in so long.

 

**Opal:** I’m back with a ghost pepper for the ugly lady.

 

**Mako:** Yay, fire pooper!

 

**Zuko:** Yes, now you’ll be a strong ugly lady.

 

**Aang:** You guys are insane.

 

**Lin:** This is just normal for them...unfortunately 

 

**Aang:** Dear spirits…..

 

**Kuvira:** Mako is eating it.

 

**Opal:** Bolin is recording it.

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits, this is hilarious

 

**Katara:** Post it when you can. I want to see how Sokka’s ugly daughter is doing.

 

**Sokka:** She’s a pretty lady, Katara, fuck you.

 

**Bolin:** *texts video*

**Bolin:** UGLY LADY IS NOW POWERFUL

 

**Zuko:** LMAO

 

**Katara:** OMS HAHAHA

 

**Yue:** Hahahaha!

 

**Sokka:** GO MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. BREATH FIIIIRE!

 

**Aang:** Did you guys just killed him?

 

**Lin:** It would probably be an improvement for Team Avatar

 

**Asami:** OOOOOOO BUURRRNNNN

 

**Korra:** MAKO DIDN’T NEED THE GHOST PEPPER, LIN JUST ROASTED HIM TO A CRISP

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**Kuvira:** You know, I’m starting to think we aren’t fully sober now…

 

**Aang:** YEAH I THINK SO TOO!!!

 

**Bolin:** I don’t even remember why we are in the desert in the first place but today has been an amazing day!

 

**Lin:** Why did you send them to the desert, Aang?

 

**Aang:** I knew where a treasure was buried in the desert and I thought it would be fun to guide them to it. But...then this happens…

 

**Lin:** Well, not too surprising.

 

**Toph:** My spirits, I can’t stop laughing.

 

**Katara:** See, it’s so much more fun with more people in the chat.

 

**Toph:** I’m still the Alpha grandma tho.

 

**Katara:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Kyoshi:** Yo, Aang! Can I ask you a solid?

 

**Aang:** What is it this time, Kyoshi?

 

**Kyoshi:** Can you tell Yangchen to leave me alone?

 

**Aang:** Kyoshi, you know how much she likes her peace and quiet. You can be a very loud person.

 

**Kyoshi:** Well, I want her to leave me alone and she doesn’t listen to me. She listens to you.

 

**Yangchen:** I listen to Aang because he isn’t a loud person and is willing to cooperate.

 

**Kyoshi:** You’re just mad because I get more than you.

 

**Yangchen:** I’m mad because you have such loud coitus activities all the time.

 

**Kyoshi:** Sounds like you are just jealous.

 

**Yangchen:** I’m NOT, you are just really annoying.

 

**Opal:** Woah…

 

**Bolin:** I thought Avatars were wise and noble…

 

**Asami:** Is this one of the Avatars that ‘have no shame’?

 

**Aang:** Yes…

**Aang:** And you would be quite surprised how insane the past Avatars are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part will focus more on the past Avatars and their usual shenanigans!
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro--nerd


	42. Original Team Avatar Reunion [Part 3]

**Korra:** I might be still drunk off that cactus juice but it’s blowing my mind that all my past lives are coming in on this chat.

 

**Kyoshi:** Plotwist, you are still drunk.

 

**Yangchen:** I wish I was drunk to tolerate you.

 

**Kyoshi:** That can be arranged~

 

**Yangchen:** I really detest you.

 

**Kyoshi:** Plotwist, you really don’t.

 

**Yangchen:** Plotwist, I do.

 

**Mako:** Plotwast immmi ugli ladie

 

**Asami:** Opal just let out the loudest snort ever.

 

**Opal:** Drunk Mako is fucking killing me

 

**Korra:** He’s a riot ahaha

 

**Bolin:** He’s just laying on the bed like an idiot.

 

**Lin:** You guys are horrible friends.

 

**Opal:** We know.

 

**Korra:** We accept that.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Kuvira:** Hey, who’s Yangchen?

 

**Yangchen:** Apologies, I am Avatar Yangchen. I preceded before Avatar Kuruk.

 

**Kyoshi:** Aka, he was the worst Avatar ever.

 

**Yangchen:** For the millionth time, he wasn’t the worst. He just lived in a time where he wasn’t really needed.

 

**Kyoshi:** Did he do anything? No. He literally just sat back and let the nations fight it out.

 

**Yangchen:** I really hate how much you talk down about him. His poor wife was taken by Koh.

 

**Kyoshi:** Because he barely did anything useful with his life.

 

**Yangchen:** You know he’s the reason why you were able to live past 200 years because he died so young. At least be grateful for that.

 

**Kuruk:** You are fucking welcome.

 

**Kyoshi:** Thanks loser.

 

**Yangchen:** Do not talk to my son like that.

 

**Kyoshi:** He’s not your kid.

 

**Kuruk:** Don’t sass Momma Yangchen!

 

**Kyoshi:** Go find your wife!

 

**Kuruk:** I’M TRYING!

 

**Aang:** Please stop fighting…

**Aang:** The last time you guys fought, Kyoshi almost killed one of us.

 

**Kyoshi:** It wouldn’t be the first time.

 

**Korra:** WHAT?

**Korra:** You killed someone.

 

**Kyoshi:** Okay, when you guys say ‘kill’, you make it sound so bad.

 

**Yangchen:** Killing is horrible! All life is precious!

 

**Aang:** That’s why I am a vegetarian.

 

**Kyoshi:** Debatable.

 

**Katara:** Okay, let me just remind you guys how fucked up this woman is. 

**Katara:** One time, we were at a village where they hated Avatars, especially Avatar Kyoshi. Sokka and I tried so hard to prove her innocence to save Aang’s life.

 

**Sokka:** Oh I remember this…

 

**Katara:** Right when we might be able to prove her innocence, you know what this woman did?

 

**Korra:** Please tell.

 

**Katara:** She fucking appears before the people using Aang’s body and confesses to murdering Chin the Conqueror. She left Aang to almost being boiled in oil.

 

**Kyoshi:** The look on their faces was worth it.

**Kyoshi:** Spirits, that was hilarious.

 

**Aang:** Wow...

 

**Yangchen:** Why are you like this?

 

**Kyoshi:** Why do you always have to comment on every aspect of my actions?

 

**Yangchen:** You are literally the reason why the other Avatars keep to themselves and avoid us.

 

**Kyoshi:** They are cowards.

 

**Roku:** You are literally insane.

**Roku:** You are worse than Sozin.

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey, Avatar Roku. Don’t compare me to your boyfriend. 

**Kyoshi:** If you would have only killed Sozin, then the Fire Nation wouldn’t have tried to take over the world, using my people as aid.

 

**Roku:** Kyoshi, you can’t just kill people. Killing isn’t always an answer!

**Roku:** And Sozin was NOT my boyfriend!

 

**Kyoshi:** Sure, Roku. Sure.

**Kyoshi:** Between the two of us, which one of us left a larger problem for the succeeding Avatar? You.

 

**Roku:** This is why I try to ignore you.

**Roku:** You are such a difficult woman.

 

**Kyoshi:** Then bye! Go away.

 

**Yangchen:** Spirits, you are downright the most horrible person ever.

 

**Kyoshi:** Excuse me, Yangchen.

**Kyoshi:** Not all of us can have peace for an entire generation after our deaths.

 

**Yangchen:** It’s not that hard if you just stop killing people.

 

**Kyoshi:** That’s cute but no.

 

**Asami:** I hate to ruin the family reunion but something has been bothering me.

 

**Kyoshi:** What is it, cutie?

 

**Korra:** Back off.

 

**Kyoshi:** 6.5 feet bitch, fight me.

 

**Korra:** I’m tempted.

 

**Asami:** You were able to just appear using Aang’s body?

 

**Kyoshi:** Yep. I knocked him out for a bit and took over his body.

**Kyoshi:** Why do you ask?

**Kyoshi:** Oh…

**Kyoshi:** Aw, Asami~

**Kyoshi:** Would you like me to come meet you in person?

 

**Asami:** SHIT NO NO I DIDN’T MEAN THAT I WAS JUST CURIOUS

 

**Korra:** OVER MY DEAD BODY KYOSHI!

 

**Kyoshi:** Give me ten minutes and I can figure out how I did it again.

 

**Korra:** NO NO NO

 

**Asami:** Yeah...I dug my own grave there. I’m sorry, Korra.

 

**Opal:** Hey, I’m fine with Kyoshi appearing.

 

**Kuvira:** Woah what?

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Kuvira:** What?

 

**Opal:** What?

 

**Kuvira:** …

 

**Opal:** …

**Opal:** I love you, babe.

 

**Kuvira:** You’re on thin ice...

 

**Lin:** Do it, Kyoshi.

**Lin:** Fuck up those kid’s lives.

 

**Aang:** KYOSHI NO

 

**Yangchen:** KYOSHI YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE OVER SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY!

 

**Kyoshi:** You guys aren’t stopping me~

 

**Mako:** I’m i ugli Lady

 

**Lin:** Shut up, Mako.

 

**Toph:** Spirits, this is going to be hilarious.

 

**Suki:** What the fuck is even going on?

 

**Yue:** This generation seems very dangerous…

 

**Bolin:** Dangerous is just an understatement.

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** KYOSHI GIVE ME MY BODY BACK

**Korra:** KYOSHI

**Korra:** DO NOT TOUCH ASAMI!

**Korra:** SPIRITS THIS IS SO WEIRD

**Korra:** I WANT MY BODY BACK

**Korra:** GIVE ME BACK MY BODY!!!

 

**Roku:** Having fun there?

 

**Korra:** I’m not!

 

**Kuruk:** This is just a normal day-to-day activity.

**Kuruk:** Kyoshi can be so much worse for us.

 

**Yangchen:** I’m so sorry, Korra.

 

**Katara:** Good luck, kids...

 

**Opal:** Kyoshi really does have big feet…

 

**Kuvira:** Opal, get your ass over into my room.

**Kuvira:** NOW

 

**Opal:** Yes, Ma’am. 

**Opal:** Someone sounds jealous.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m not jealous

 

**Opal:** Why did you stomp to your room in a rush of anger?

 

**Kuvira:** Just come here, please.

 

**Opal:** Only because I love you~

 

**Kuvira:** I love you too.

 

**Asami:** FUCKING HELP ME!

**Asami:** I CAN’T LEAVE MY BATHROOM!

**Asami:** KUVIRA YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD POSSIBLY MATCHUP TO KYOSHI!

 

**Kuvira:** I am not challenging a 6.5 feet woman with large feet, in makeup, who happily prides in killing someone.

 

**Kyoshi:** Just let me hug you, Asami.

**Kyoshi:** That’s all I’ll do.

 

**Asami:** I am not leaving this bathroom.

 

**Mako:** Well u gonna have 2 get out bc imma puke bish

 

**Asami:** PUKE OUTSIDE

 

**Mako:** No. I want toilet. Pls

 

**Bolin:** ASAMI GET OUT HE’S GOING TO BURN IT DOWN

 

**Asami:** SPIRITS FUCK MAKO

 

**Mako:** Firy pooper is coming out!

 

**Suki:** Spirits…

 

**Zuko:** I did say that fire peppers can make a firebender a lot stronger...

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** GUYS?

**Korra:** IS EVERYONE OKAY?

**Korra:** WHAT’S GOING ON?

 

**Mako:** I think I’m sober now.

 

**Bolin:** No one cares. 

 

**Mako:** I figured

 

**Opal:** Kyoshi gives great hugs, btw

 

**Kyoshi:** At least someone appreciates my hugs.

 

**Kuvira:** Watch your fucking hands, bitch.

 

**Kyoshi:** I am, spirits...have some faith in me. I’m not a pervert.

 

**Asami:** Sure. Sure you aren’t.

 

**Kyoshi:** I can see you blushing, Asami. I see your pretty head is poking out the door.

 

**Asami:** I’m not.

 

**Mako:** You kinda are.

 

**Asami:** Go take a shot of cactus juice.

 

**Mako:** no...please.

**Mako:** I finally just got sober.

 

**Aang:** So are you guys all right?

 

**Asami:** I’m not violated. That’s great, I guess.

**Asami:** The hotel room is very much damaged but everyone seems fine.

 

**Kyoshi:** I just wanted to give you a hug, oh my spirits.

 

**Asami:** Just stay on the other side of the room. AWAY FROM MY ROOM!

 

**Korra:** CAN I HAVE MY BODY BACK?!

 

**Kyoshi:** Not until Asami gives me a hug.

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Kuvira:** I got my eye on her, Korra. I’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything weird.

 

**Korra:** Asami?

 

**Asami:** FINE

**Asami:** I’m going to come out slowly.

**Asami:** ONE hug.

 

**Kyoshi:** That’s all I want.

 

XXX

 

**Korra:** KYOSHI YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

 

**Kyoshi:** Tee Hee~~

**Kyoshi:** I kept my promise~

 

**Yangchen:** What did she do…?

 

**Opal:** Kyoshi groped Asami’s butt before returning back and Asami accidentally punched Korra when Kyoshi left her body.

 

**Bolin:** Ngl, that was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen.

 

**Korra:** FUCK YOU!

 

**Aang:** Kyoshi…

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey, I got a moan from Asami.

 

**Asami:** No, I did not moan.

 

**Kuvira:** You did.

 

**Opal:** You really did.

 

**Bolin:** You did.

 

**Mako:** You did.

 

**Asami:** You guys are horrible friends.

 

**Korra:** Just for that, you guys will have to pay for the damages to the hotel.

 

**Kuvira:** Put it on Mako’s tab. He burnt the place down.

 

**Mako:** Fuck.

 

**Lin:** Wait...Is Kya okay?

 

**Opal:** Oh fuck...

 

XXX

 

**Kya:** AVATAR KYOSHI ARE YOU STILL HERE!???

 

**Kyoshi:** I am here. I am queer.

 

**Kya:** Oh my spirits, hi.

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey~

 

**Kya:** I can’t believe I missed seeing you in person. I just woke up.

 

**Yangchen:** You slept through all that?!

 

**Kya:** I’m a heavy sleeper.

 

**Katara:** That’s true.

 

**Aang:** Very true.

 

**Kyoshi:** I can always come back to meet you, Kya.

 

**Korra:** NOPE YOU ARE NOT 

 

**Kyoshi:** Aww~

**Kyoshi:** Well, honey~ I would love to chat you up~ Older women are very experienced and that’s what I like about them~

 

**Lin:** Hey, Kyoshi.

**Lin:** I will shove metal wires into your body and wring out your bones.

**Lin:** I will brutally slaughter you if you make any more advances on my Kya.

**Lin:** So watch your words carefully. Kya is my woman and only mine. 

 

**Kyoshi:** Alright. Fair enough. I respect that from my heart.

 

**Korra:** …

 

**Kuvira:** ….

 

**Opal:** ….

 

**Asami:** ….

 

**Mako:** ….

 

**Bolin:** …

 

**Yangchen:** ….

 

**Aang:** ….

 

**Toph:** …

 

**Sokka:** …

 

**Suki:** …

 

**Yue:** …

 

**Kuruk:** …

 

**Roku:** …

 

**Kya:** Babe, that was so hot. Oh my spirits, do that again.

 

**Yangchen:** What did you do?

 

**Lin:** ?

 

**Roku:** I have never seen Kyoshi be respectful…

 

**Lin:** I just said what was on my mind.

 

**Kyoshi:** I respect a woman that protects her woman and speaks the hard truth of her mind.

 

**Korra:** OH REALLY KYOSHI? REALLY?

 

**Kyoshi:** You’re just jealous that I made Asami moan with just my hands on her butt.

 

**Asami:** I did NOT moan.

 

**Kuvira:** You did though…

 

**Mako:** It was loud.

 

**Opal:** Full on hentai moan

 

**Bolin:** You really enjoyed it. We can tell.

 

**Asami:** Fuck you guys, I’m out.

 

**Korra:** See yah losers.

 

**Mako:** Wait? Where did you guys go?

 

**Opal:** We just left.

 

**Kuvira:** Have fun with the bill.

 

**Bolin:** Bye, bro

 

**Mako:** ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME?

 

**Lin:** It was your fault that you got drunk off of cactus juice.

 

**Mako:** OH MY SPIRITS!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyoshi is honestly the embodiment of big dick energy. 
> 
> I'm thinking Yangchen might be the new Lin...any other thoughts?
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro--nerd


	43. Drunk fiasco

**Bolin:** Hey @Lin?

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Bolin:** How much alcohol must you consume in order to be considered for a DUI?

 

**Lin:** Any amount.

**Lin:** So do not drive if you consumed alcohol.

**Lin:** At all.

 

**Bolin:** Alright.

**Bolin:** @Asami, don’t drive.

 

**Asami:** Okay.

 

**Lin:** I’m serious. Do not drive!

**Lin:** Are you guys drinking?

 

**Opal:** No.

 

**Kuvira:** We are, fuck face Lin.

 

**Korra:** BWAHAHA KUVIRA IS SO FUNNY

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off, Korra. Stop looking at my girl’s stomach.

 

**Korra:** Then pull Opal’s shirt down.

 

**Kuvira:** Stop looking there you piece of shit.

 

**Korra:** I’m sorry, Opal keeps twirling back and forth and riding her shirt up on the bed.

 

**Asami:** HEY

**Asami:** Why are you talking on the chat? We are all just lying on my bed so talk face to face.

**Asami:** Ya dildos

 

**Lin:** Please be responsible…

 

**Mako:** guys wher is my booti hole?

 

**Lin:** ESPECIALLY HIM!

 

**Mako:** I can t fin mi botty hule

 

**Kuvira:** Are you still in the fucking bathroom? It’s been 30 fucking minutes, Mako. Are you fucking yourself in there?

 

**Mako:** Fook zoff kuveera

 

**Kuvira:** Go suck your own dick.

 

**Bolin:** He has tried that before.

**Bolin:** More than once.

**Bolin:** Yes. I have walked in on him doing that. Worst surprise ever.

 

**Mako:** dude taht fookin gay

 

**Bolin:** Oh, the irony.

 

**Korra:** Where are you, Bolin?

 

**Bolin:** I’m just chilling in Asami’s living room while you women cuddle on the bed.

 

**Asami:** Come cuddle with us.

 

**Opal:** There’s always room for cuddles.

 

**Bolin:** Nah, I’m going to nap on this lovely couch.

 

**Asami:** Whatever, suit yourself.

 

**Korra:** @Lin you should join us.

 

**Lin:** I prefer not to.

 

**Kya:** Yeah, she’s busy. ;)

 

**Asami:** WOOOO GET IT KYA

 

**Lin:** WE ARE JUST HAVING A MOVIE NIGHT!

 

**Opal:** Okay, auntie. 

**Opal:** Whatever you say.

 

**Mako:** gy i lose mi pee pee again

 

**Kuvira:** How fucking drunk are you?

 

**Mako:** i drunk

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, I fucking figured yah dipshit.

 

**Asami:** Language, Kuvira.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off, Asami. Go suck Korra’s lips.

 

**Korra:** Which one? ;)

 

**Kuvira:** Do I need to fucking help you find them?

 

**Opal:** GAAAAAYYYY

 

**Asami:** I dare you two to kiss.

 

**Korra:** Kuvira, do you want my vomit in your mouth?

 

**Kuvira:** No.

 

**Korra:** Then don’t fucking kiss me, you nasty little motherfucker.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck you. I wouldn’t even want to be near you.

 

**Lin:** I think you guys should stop drinking…

 

**Kuvira:** I think Korra needs to stop having gay thoughts about me.

 

**Korra:** Not everything is about you.

 

**Kuvira:** Not every fucking thing is fucking about fucking you fucking too.

 

**Korra:** Fuck what?

 

**Asami:** You two are literally too stuck on your phones.

**Asami:** I just kissed Opal and you two didn’t even see.

 

**Opal:** Some girlfriends you two are.

 

**Bolin:** What the fuck is going on up there?

 

**Kya:** Sounds like Asami and Opal are having too much fun.

 

XXX

 

**Kuvira:** KEEP YOUR GIRLFRIEND AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND, KORRA!

 

**Korra:** BITCH YOUR GIRLFRIEND KISSED MINE FIRST!

 

**Asami:** It was mutual.

 

**Opal:** Very mutual.

 

**Bolin:** Was that what all that running was?

 

**Asami:** Kuvira lifted Opal and left my room and into the guest room.

 

**Kuvira:** Opal is mine.

**Kuvira:** Now I have to disinfect her mouth.

 

**Opal:** My mouth is ready.

 

**Asami:** Lol have fun with that.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck you.

 

**Korra:** Hey! FUCK YOU!

 

**Kuvira:** I fuck you first

 

**Korra:** I fuck you second

 

**Kuvira:** Wait what…?

 

**Korra:** Fuck im really drunk

 

**Bolin:** Yeah, that has been established…

 

**Mako:** i sti cant find mi pii pee

 

**Asami:** I ate it. It’s gone.

 

**Mako:** WTF

 

**Opal:** We cooked it over the fire so it was crunchy.

 

**Mako:** y u guys eat my pee pee

 

**Asami:** bc im bi

 

**Mako:** i cnt grow a new pee pee

 

**Asami:** Not with that attitude.

 

**Mako:** Imma grow a new pee pee

 

**Asami:** grow yourself a pair of balls too

 

**Mako:** WHERE ARE MY BALLS?

 

**Opal:** Korra ate it.

 

**Kuvira:** Fucking Korra…

 

**Mako:** Korra y u eat my balls?

 

**Korra:** I thought I could breathe fire if I ate fireballs.

 

**Bolin:** How drunk are you guys?

**Bolin:** This is the last time I’m drinking with any of you guys.

 

**Lin:** So drinking cactus juice wasn’t the final straw?

 

**Bolin:** I think we all blacked out then.

 

**Kya:** Spirits….

 

**Lin:** Please go to sleep. You guys are going to murder each other…

 

**Korra:** YEAH I CAN FIGHT YOU ALL!

 

**Kuvira:** I will shove my fist up your ass so you can see how full of shit you are.

 

**Korra:** I will rip you a new hole bitch.

 

**Asami:** Kinky

 

**Opal:** I feel like I read a fanfiction of us four having sex.

 

**Asami:** Hot.

**Asami:** Text me the link for it.

 

**Korra:** Not hot.

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t want to touch Korra at all.

**Kuvira:** Gross.

 

**Korra:** You lucky you ran off into a different room you pussy little shit.

 

**Kuvira:** I will gladly come back and fight you.

 

**Opal:** Please do.

 

**Asami:** I miss Opal.

 

**Opal:** I miss you too.

 

**Asami:** I miss you so so much.

 

**Opal:** I really miss you so so much, Asami

 

**Bolin:** wtf is going on?

 

**Lin:** Is this like opposite day?

 

**Kya:** This sounds like so much fun.

 

**Korra:** @Kuvira tell your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine

 

**Kuvira:** Tell your girlfriend to stay away from mine.

 

**Asami:** @Opal, tell your girlfriend to stop being selfish and let me love you.

 

**Opal:** Tell your girlfriend to stop being such a dick and let me love you too.

 

**Mako:** I cant find my feet

 

**Kuvira:** Are you still in the bathroom?

 

**Mako:** I think?

 

**Bolin:** Oh my spirits…

**Bolin:** I’m going up there because I’m worried for you, bro.

 

**Lin:** Why are you guys like this?

**Lin:** Is Bolin the only sane one?

 

**Bolin:** I’m drunk.

**Bolin:** I fell off the couch and can’t get up.

 

**Asami:** HAHAHAHAHA

 

**Kuvira:** What an idiot

 

**Mako:** Guys, I lost my feet

 

**Opal:** HOW?

 

**Mako:** The pant monster got it

 

**Korra:** Are your pant down?

 

**Mako:** What are pants?

 

**Asami:** AHAHAHAHA

 

XXX

 

**Bolin:** @Lin

 

**Lin:** WHAT?

 

**Bolin:** What’s the number for the hospital?

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits what?!

 

**Bolin:** Number. A number for the hospital. Did you not get that?

 

**Lin:** I did!

**Lin:** What did you guys do?!

 

**Bolin:** Mako broke his arm.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

**Lin:** I’ll call an ambulance.

 

**Korra:** FUCKING KYOSHI DON’T DO THAT FUCKING SHIT

 

**Lin:** What?

 

**Kyoshi:** I couldn’t resist. Asami looked so cute when she’s drunk.

 

**Kuvira:** You scared the fucking life out of her.

 

**Kyoshi:** She shouldn’t have overreacted.

 

**Korra:** YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN OVER MY BODY AND FUCKING APPEARED!

 

**Yangchen:** Really, Kyoshi?

 

**Kyoshi:** What?

**Kyoshi:** Asami looked so cute.

**Kyoshi:** I had to come by and give that cutie a hug.

 

**Korra:** Asami is clinging onto Naga for dear life.

**Korra:** Square up, bitch. Don’t mess with my woman!

 

**Yangchen:** I don’t know what is going on but we are not fighting. Kyoshi, come over to my side of the spirit world. We need to talk about your behavior lately.

 

**Kyoshi:** With or without clothes?

 

**Yangchen:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

 

**Kyoshi:** It was a serious question.

 

**Yangchen:** WITH clothes.

 

**Kyoshi:** Okie dokie.

 

**Korra:** Yeah go away, Kyoshi.

 

**Kyoshi:** I’ll be back~

 

**Kuvira:** Please don’t…

 

**Lin:** This doesn’t explain why Mako broke his arm.

 

**Bolin:** It doesn’t.

**Bolin:** He just tripped and fell in the bathtub like an idiot.

 

**Opal:** lol classic mako.

 

**Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

XXX

 

**Lin:** Kya, I feel like I lost 10 years of my life with these dumb kids.

 

**Kya:** Aw, sweetie. They can be a lot, huh?

 

**Lin:** I wish I was home with you.

 

**Kya:** Don’t worry. I’m keeping the bed warm~

 

**Lin:** I can’t wait to be there with you.

 

**Kya:** Hurry back~

 

**Lin:** I will once the doctor resets Mako’s twisted shoulder.

 

**Kya:** Didn’t he break his arm?

 

**Lin:** That too…

 

**Kya:** Poor kid.

 

**Lin:** Poor me…

 

**Kya:** Yes, poor you, baby cheeks~

 

**Lin:** I need to be with you.

 

**Kya:** I’m always ready with open arms.

 

**Lin:** I need to be in you.

 

**Kya:** ooo~ Lin you naughty tiger~

 

**Lin:** I got a lot of pent up stress to let out~

 

**Kya:** I’m so ready.

**Kya:** I can’t wait.

 

**Lin:** Anything for you, my little water lilly~

 

**Korra:** Can you guys do this on your own private message?

 

**Asami:** Please…

 

**Opal:** We are way too hungover to see this shit.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m too hungover for this gay shit.

 

**Bolin:** Aw man

**Bolin:** Chief, you got to check out the title before texting.

 

**Lin:** I AM FUCKING LEAVING YOU IDIOTS AT THE HOSPITAL SO GET A CAB HOME YOU FUCKING SHITS   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last time anyone is drunk. Last time. It’s not safe for them to be drunk...
> 
> Not going to lie, I like the idea of Kyoshi making Yangchen's life more gay—I mean annoying.
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	44. Where are you?

**Mako:** Where the fuck are you guys?

 

**Asami:** I could ask you the same thing…

 

**Mako:** I turn around for one second and I lost you all.

 

**Opal:** Classic Mako.

 

**Mako:** Not helpful.

 

**Korra:** He’s right, though. I have no idea where he went…

**Korra:** At least I have Asami by my arm.

 

**Asami:** Well, that’s awkward…

**Asami:** I’m not holding onto anyone…

 

**Korra:** Oh…

**Korra:** Shit...that wasn’t you, huh Asami?

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Opal:** LMAO KORRA

 

**Kuvira:** What a dumb fuck.

**Kuvira:** I haven’t let go of Opal’s hand so I haven’t lost her.

 

**Opal:** Wait...I’m not holding anyone’s hands…

 

**Korra:** HAHAHAHA!

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck...

 

**Opal:** Oh my spirits...

 

**Bolin:** LMAO HAHAHA!!

 

**Mako:** Seriously, I can’t tell who is who at this costume party…

 

**Asami:** I’m impressed that Raiko even invited us to this party…

 

**Korra:** Well, I am the Avatar~

 

**Kuvira:** What are we? Chopped liver?

 

**Korra:** My adoring fans.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck you.

 

**Korra:** We have been here for 20 mins and you already seem to be acting drunk.

 

**Kuvira:** No, you just annoy me.

 

**Asami:** Alright, children. Behave.

**Asami:** Korra, which one is you?

 

**Korra:** I’m wearing a blue mask.

 

**Asami:** There are 30 other people that are wearing a blue mask….

 

**Korra:** I have dark tanned skin.

 

**Asami:** Korra, that’s not helpful…

**Asami:** There are 10 other people that fit that description...

 

**Opal:** How do you not recognize your girlfriend? lmao

 

**Asami:** Oh? Did you find Kuvira yet?

 

**Opal:** Yeah, I’m holding her hand now.

 

**Kuvira:** No, you’re not…

 

**Opal:** FUCK.

 

**Mako:** I hate masquerade parties…

 

**Bolin:** I already gave up finding you guys. 

 

**Korra:** Some friend you are…

 

**Kuvira:** We could take off our fucking masks but SOMEONE had the great idea to glue these masks to our faces…

 

**Asami:** @ me, Kuvira, yah coward…

 

**Kuvira:** Why the fuck did I listen to you?

 

**Asami:** You’re basically Opal’s bitch.

 

**Kuvira:** I’m no one’s bitch.

 

**Opal:** Babe, come find me.

 

**Kuvira:** Right away, my little moonflower.

 

**Korra:** LMAO

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck off.

 

**Bolin:** So...how are we going to find each other?

 

**Asami:** We can just call each other out?

 

**Mako:** Good idea.

**Mako:** OKAY WOW WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I SCREAM OUT YOUR GUY’S NAMES, EVERYONE DECIDED TO GET SILENT!?

**Mako:** AND NONE OF YOU GUYS RESPONDED!?

 

**Korra:** We didn’t want to look stupid.

 

**Asami:** Why would we scream each other’s names when it suddenly got quiet?

 

**Mako:** I WOULD LOOK LESS STUPID IF EVEN ONE OF YOU GUYS RESPONDED!!!

 

**Kuvira:** At least we heard you.

 

**Mako:** Do you know where I am?

 

**Kuvira:** No.

 

**Mako:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Korra:** I think I see you, Asami.

 

**Asami:** Oh? Where are you?

 

**Korra:** I think I’m behind you.

**Korra:** I recognize your butt anywhere.

 

**Opal:** Fooking gaaaaaay

 

**Bolin:** GAAAAYYYY

 

**Asami:** Well, I’m looking and I don’t see you….

 

**Korra:** Don’t worry, I’ll come by!

 

**Kuvira:** I heard two smacks and a scream…

 

**Korra:** Update, it wasn’t Asami... 

 

**Asami:** You slapped another girl’s butt?

 

**Korra:** Update, it was not a girl either…

 

**Asami:** Oh my spirits….

 

**Mako:** LMAO

 

**Bolin:** Korra nooooo

 

**Opal:** You fucked up…

 

**Kuvira:** How dumb do you have to be in order to think it’s a great idea to slap someone’s butt that you thought was your girlfriend?

 

**Korra:** Shut up. 

 

**Opal:** How come none of us even directed our attention to the commotion…?

 

**Mako:** Bc we are stuck on our phones…

 

**Asami:** Why are we like this?

 

**Bolin:** Why are we even here?

 

**Kuvira:** Where’s Opal?

 

**Opal:** I don’t even know where I am…

 

**Kuvira:** Where are you?

 

**Opal:** Surrounded by people.

 

**Kuvira:** That’s not helpful…

 

**Opal:** Surrounded by tall people.

 

**Asami:** Everyone is taller than you…

 

**Opal:** Well shit idk what to do then

 

**Korra:** What are you guys wearing?

 

**Kuvira:** You don’t remember what we wore to this party?

 

**Korra:** DO YOU, KUVIRA?

 

**Kuvira:** No…

 

**Asami:** I’m wearing a red dress.

 

**Korra:** 50 OTHER WOMEN ARE WEARING FUCKING RED DRESSES, ASAMI!

 

**Asami:** Well, what are you wearing!?

 

**Korra:** A blue watertribe dress.

 

**Asami:** 50 OTHER WOMEN ARE WEARING FUCKING BLUE WATERTRIBE DRESSES, KORRA!

 

**Korra:** FUUUUUCK

 

**Asami:** FUUUUUCK

 

**Mako:** Are we seeing a korrasami fight for the first time?

 

**Asami:** We’re not fighting. We are bonding.

 

**Korra:** Love bonding.

 

**Kuvira:** Looks weird.

 

**Korra:** GO FIND OPAL!

 

**Kuvira:** I did. I’m holding her hand.

 

**Opal:** I’m not holding anyone’s hands…

 

**Kuvira:** For spirit’s fuck sake…

 

**Korra:** LMAO

 

**Bolin:** Why don’t we call each other on our phones?

 

**Asami:** Sure.

 

**Kuvira:** Alright.

 

**Korra:** Okay

 

**Mako:** Let's do it.

 

**Opal:** Alright, I’m ready.

 

**Mako:** WHY DID NO ONE ANSWER THEIR CALLS?

 

**Asami:** Was that ringing coming from your phone?

 

**Mako:** YEAH I WAS TRYING TO CALL YOU, ASAMI!

 

**Asami:** Well I silenced it for Raiko’s speech.

 

**Korra:** Me too.

 

**Bolin:** Me three.

 

**Opal:** Me four.

 

**Kuvira:** Me five.

 

**Mako:** ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING WITH ME ON PURPOSE?!

 

**Asami:** No, we are just considerate to not have our phones on during someone's speech.

 

**Kuvira:** Yeah, a bit rude to have your phone go on during a speech, Mako.

 

**Korra:** A bit inconsiderate.

 

**Opal:** Kinda rude.

 

**Bolin:** At least Raiko didn’t call you out.

 

**Mako:** YOU GUYS LITERALLY WERE LIKE, “LET’S CALL EACH OTHER” AND THEN FUCKING BAILED THE NEXT SECOND!

 

**Asami:** Maybe read the fucking mood, Mako. Shut up.

 

**Korra:** Shut up, Mako.

 

**Opal:** You always seem so mad all the time.

 

**Kuvira:** Just calm down, Mako.

 

**Bolin:** Chill, bro.

 

**Mako:** Fuck you guys…

 

**Asami:** I want to go home. I miss Korra.

 

**Korra:** I miss you too~

 

**Asami:** Where are you?

 

**Korra:** No clue…

 

**Kuvira:** I think I see you Opal!

 

**Opal:** Where!? I’m waving my hand!

 

**Kuvira:** I see you!

 

**Opal:** Where? Where?

 

**Kuvira:** Nevermind...it wasn’t you…

 

**Opal:** Wah!

 

**Bolin:** We should just leave.

 

**Asami:** Good idea.

 

**Korra:** We can meet outside.

 

**Opal:** Sure.

 

**Kuvira:** Okay.

 

**Mako:** K

 

**Lin:** You guys do realize that you are all standing right next to each other…?

 

XXX

 

**Kya:** You guys looked cute walking out of the party, holding hands.

 

**Asami:** A bit rude that no one thought to tell us that we were next to each other…

 

**Lin:** I really didn’t think you guys were dumb enough to not realize…

 

**Kuvira:** Rude.

 

**Korra:** Lin, where are you? We just found Kya and we are leaving.

 

**Lin:** I’m holding Kya’s hand right now?

 

**Kya:** No you’re not.

  
**Lin:** Oh shit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the lack of updates this month. I just didn't have an idea for this chat fic and went through a dry spell so I focused on my other OW chat fic. Then school piled up and I started losing focus on this chat fic. Then I had this idea and really wanted it done before October ends. Hopefully, I'll get new ideas soon! (And feel free to send me prompts for this chat fic to help me out!)
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro--nerd


	45. Gender Bender

 

 **Korra:** Are you guys awake?

 

 **Kuvira:** Actually...I am..

 **Kuvira:** I can’t sleep.

 

 **Opal:** Me too…

 

 **Asami:** Well, this is a first.

 

 **Bolin:** Yay, we are all awake!

 

 **Mako:** It’s fucking 3 in the morning…

 

 **Asami:** So?

 

 **Lin:** Why?

 **Lin:** Why this again?

 

 **Korra:** You love us, Lin.

 

 **Lin:** That’s a funny joke.

 

 **Korra:** Rude.

 

 **Kya:** What do you want, Korra?

 

 **Korra:** Look what I found when I was scrolling the net!

 **Korra:** *texts photos*

 

 **Lin:** Is that us but as the opposite sex?

 

 **Kya:** NICE!

 **Kya:** Lin looks so handsome~~

 **Kya:** Daaaammmmnnn male lin looking tight in that suit~

 

 **Opal:** Wow, those artwork looks so cool!

 

 **Bolin:** I look great as a woman.

 

 **Kuvira:** You really do, Bolin!

 

 **Bolin:** Awww, thanks!

 

 **Opal:** So pretty, Bolin!

 

 **Bolin:** Aww shucks stop!! :)))

 

 **Asami:** Damn I want some of male!Korra~~~

 

 **Korra:** ;)) male!Asami looking fine as fuck~

 

 **Asami:** I love that they gave you some nice titty pecs~~

 

 **Korra:** I appreciate their detail to your hips~

 **Korra:** Love an Asami with some curves~

 

 **Asami:** Love a Korra with some thighs~~

 

 **Korra:** All for you, baby~

 

 **Asami:** You little naughty Avatar~

 

 **Opal:** Really you two?

 **Opal:** Ya’ll going to be nasty at 3am?

 

 **Korra:** Yes.

 

 **Asami:** Oh yeah ;)

 

 **Kuvira:** I think you look really cute as a boy, Opal~ :)

 

 **Opal:** Well~~

 **Opal:** Aren’t you a stud as a male, Kuvira?~~

 **Opal:** I don’t mind have that body on top of me~

 

 **Kuvira:** You look so adorable in that Airbender suit~

 

 **Mako:** You look like a twink, Opal.

 

 **Opal:** FUCK YOU MAKO FUCK OFF AND MASTURBATE IN YOUR LONELY BED BC WU AIN’T GIVING YOU ANY!!!

 

 **Bolin:** OOOHHHHH SHIIIIITTTTT

 

 **Asami:** OPAL IS GIVING NO FUCKS TONIGHT!!!

 

 **Korra:** DAAAAMMNNNN

 

 **Mako:** FUCK YOU GUYS!!!

 

 **Lin:** Okay, real talk, female!Mako looks like Asami but with his face on it.

 

 **Asami:** Looks like an ugleee ladieeee

 

 **Mako:** I’m not that bad looking as a girl!

 

 **Korra:** You ugly af

 

 **Opal:** Look at them tiny titties.

 

 **Kuvira:** Where are the tits?

 

 **Mako:** I DID NOT WAKE UP TO BE DISRESPECTED LIKE THIS!!!!

 

 **Kya:** Then go to sleep.

 

 **Asami:** Okay stop guys, we are being mean to him.

 

 **Mako:** THANK YOU ASAMI

 

 **Asami:** He didn’t ask to be born so ugly that no matter what gender he is, he ugly af.

 

 **Mako:** FUCK YOU!!! YOU DATED ME!!!

 

 **Asami:** Did I cheat on you though?

 

 **Korra:** OOOOOHHHHHHHHH

 

 **Mako:** MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SENSITIVE WOMAN THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING!!!

 

 **Korra:** But...you did cheat….

 

 **Bolin:** Bro, you played Asami and Korra like a punching bag.

 

 **Mako:** WHY ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS????

 

 **Opal:** We’re not the ones who cheated.

 

 **Kuvira:** We are loyal to our partners.

 

 **Asami:** Plus boobs are pretty darn great.

 

 **Korra:** Oh yes~~~

 

 **Mako:** I hate you all.

 

 **Kya:** Hate is a strong word.

 

 **Mako:** I detest you all.

 

 **Lin:** The feeling is mutual, ugly lady.

 

 **Mako:** I AM NOT AN UGLY LADY.

 

 **Asami:** Yeah you are. Don’t you remember what you said when you were drunk?

 

 **Korra:** You said you were an ugly lady.

 

 **Opal:** I got screenshots to prove it.

 

 **Mako:** I will actually come fucking murder you guys in your sleep you fucking assholes…

 

 **Kuvira:** With what? Static electricity and a small candle?

 

 **Mako:** I’LL FUCK YOU UP FIRST KUVIRA!!

 

 **Kuvira:** Oh you want to fight? Okay, come at me ugly lady.

 **Kuvira:** I’ll meet you at Avatar Park.

 

 **Mako:** I’LL BE THERE!!

 

 **Korra:** OOOHHH SHIIIIT

 

 **Opal:** Fight!!

 

 **Lin:** Are you guys serious? It’s 3am in the morning…

 

 **Asami:** and?

 

 **Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

XXX

 

 **Mako:** I’m sorry. Please let me down.

 

 **Kuvira:** Nah.

 

 **Opal:** My baby is so strong~~

 

 **Bolin:** Dude, where are you?

 **Bolin:** Kuvira fucking yeeted you so far.

 

 **Mako:** I got caught in the trees.

 

 **Opal:** Leave him there.

 

 **Mako:** Please…

 **Mako:** I’ll admit I’m an ugly lady.

 

 **Kuvira:** I’ll only let you down because I’m actually a nice person by heart.

 

 **Mako:** Thank you, Kuvira.

 

 **Opal:** Where did Korra and Asami go? I thought they were with us?

 

 **Bolin:** @Asami @Korra Where did you two go?

 

 **Asami:** We’re busy so you guys can go on ahead.

 

 **Kuvira:** Busy with what?

 

 **Asami:** Confirming our serious emotions upon our relationship.

 

 **Kya:** You two are having sex in the park, huh?

 

 **Asami:** Maybe.

 

 **Kya:** Kinky.

 

 **Lin:** WHY?

 **Lin:** NO!

 **Lin:** DEAR SPIRITS NO!!!

 

 **Asami:** Don’t knock it until you try it.

 

 **Opal:** Are you texting while this is happening?

 

 **Asami:** I am bottoming so what else do I do?

 

 **Opal:** Mood.

 

 **Kuvira:** Is this what bottoms do?

 

 **Mako:** Yeah, there isn’t much to do as a bottom. I hated how bored I was.

 

 **Bolin:** …

 **Bolin:** This might be tmi but...you bottom for Wu bro?

 

 **Mako:** NO I WAS JUST SAYING IT LIKE I UNDERSTAND!

 **Mako:** SHIT

 **Mako:** FUCK

 

 **Asami:** aww

 **Asami:** No shame.

 **Asami:** It’s fun to experiment.

 **Asami:** Now we know that Wu’s dick is probably bigger than yours.

 

 **Mako:** WTF WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?!

 

 **Asami:** I would get fed up and be a top too if my partner’s tiny dick didn’t suffice my ass.

 

 **Opal:** CAN WE STOP MY STOMACH HURTS SO MUCH FROM LAUGHING!!!!

 

 **Kuvira:** LMFAO HAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

 **Bolin:** I AM DEAD HAHAHAHA

 

 **Lin:** Spirits, Asami...really?

 

 **Kyoshi:** DAMN THAT WAS GOOD ASAMI

 

 **Kya:** Oh shit…

 

 **Asami:** Oh hell no…

 

 **Kyoshi:** What’s up, bitches?

 

XXX

 

 **Yangchen:** Kyoshi, can you not give in to your urges for once in your fucking life?

 

 **Kyoshi:** I didn’t even fucking transform on Korra’s body, fucking chill Yangchen.

 

 **Korra:** IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE WHISPERING IN MY EAR AND THAT’S FUCKING CREEPY!!!

 

 **Lin:** YOU AND ASAMI WERE FUCKING IN THE PARK!!!

 

 **Asami:** MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY IT SO YOU CAN GET OFF OUR FUCKING CASE!

 

 **Kya:** Okay. :)

 

 **Lin:** No…

 

 **Kyoshi:** It’s fun though. You two should try it.

 

 **Korra:** WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOU INVADING MY FUCKING MIND!!

 

 **Kyoshi:** Nah, we don’t.

 

 **Yangchen:** WE DO!

 

 **Kyoshi:** Get off my case.

 

 **Yangchen:** STOP BOTHERING THE CURRENT AVATAR WHEN THEY ARE DOING PERSONAL ACTIVITIES!

 

 **Kyoshi:** Banging a hot femme fatale bottom in the open park at 3am in the morning is ‘personal activities’?

 

 **Asami:** IT IS!

 

 **Lin:** THIS WHOLE THING COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU TWO WEREN’T SO FUCKING HORNY!

 

 **Asami:** Okay, but like, have you seen Korra?

 

 **Korra:** Have you seen Asami?

 **Korra:** How can I not bang her?

 

 **Lin:** Oh my spirits…

 

 **Kyoshi:** I agree.

 

 **Asami:** FUCK OFF!

 

 **Kyoshi:** You’re so cute when you’re mad.

 

 **Korra:** GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!!!

 

 **Yasuko:** …

 **Yasuko:** “Check up on my daughter and see how she is doing,” Hiroshi says. “You’re her mother,” he says.

 **Yasuko:** Asami...what happened to you to be like this?

 

 **Asami:** I’m living my life, mom. Fuck off.

 

 **Kyoshi:** Hey, Asami’s mom.

 

 **Yasuko:** What?

 

 **Kyoshi:** Thank you for giving birth to this dynamite gal.

 

 **Korra:** Spirits…

 

 **Asami:** Oh my spirits…

 

 **Yangchen:** Kyoshi, stop it or I’ll smack you.

 

 **Kyoshi:** Hot.

 

 **Yangchen:** FUCK YOU!

 

 **Kyoshi:** Okay, my body is ready~ I can do reversal~

 

 **Yangchen:** I WILL ACTUALLY MURDER YOU!

 

 **Kyoshi:** Murder my pussy please.

 

 **Opal:** STOP PLEASE I’M GOING TO PEE LMFAO!!!!

 

 **Bolin:** Damn….wow…

 

 **Kuvira:** Shit…

 

 **Mako:** And I thought I had it bad.

 

 **Lin:** No, I have it worst.

 

 **Toph:** What are you guys doing at 3am in the morning?

  
**Kya:** Making poor life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sometimes I wonder why I write half of these contents in my chat fics...Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for this suggestion! Always open for more~
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro--nerd


	46. MILF

**Kyoshi:** Hey @Asami?

 

**Asami:** Dear spirits...what?

 

**Kyoshi:** Is your mom single?

 

**Asami:** My mother is married.

 

**Kyoshi:** Are they like...really married or is it just a title?

 

**Asami:** Kyoshi you are not going to start flirting with my mother.

 

**Kyoshi:** I didn’t even flirt. I am just asking you a question.

 

**Asami:** My answer is: Yes, my mother is married and she is not available.

 

**Kyoshi:** Hmm

**Kyoshi:** Okay.

 

**Asami:** @Yangchen. Kyoshi is up to something.

 

**Yangchen:** Kyoshi. No. You are not going to flirt with a married woman.

 

**Kyoshi:** I just asked a question, guys. Chill!

 

**Korra:** I don’t want to hear that from someone who grabbed my girl’s butt!

 

**Kyoshi:** You guys are really going to hound on me like this?

 

**Kuvira:** Yes.

 

**Kyoshi:** I didn’t even flirt with your girl!

 

**Kuvira:** I can’t be too careful.

 

**Opal:** My bae is so protective~

 

**Mako:** Isn’t there anything better for spirits to do than to fuck with us?

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey, ugly lady. Shut the fuck up no one on this chat wants to fuck you in particular.

 

**Mako:** ...at least my bf does…

 

**Kyoshi:** Is he on this chat? No. Shut the fuck up, tiny dick twink.

 

**Mako:** Why do I even try to text in this chat?

 

**Bolin:** Bc you get off on it.

 

**Asami:** ew…

 

**Korra:** Gross

 

**Kuvira:** That’s morbid.

 

**Opal:** Ewwww

 

**Mako:** FUCK YOU GUYS!!!

 

**Lin:** Can we not have any more mother problems on this chat?

 

**Toph:** Wow, @ me bitch!!

 

**Lin:** Spirits…

 

**Asami:** No, I agree. Don’t involve my mother into this.

 

**Kyoshi:** I didn’t even do anything!

 

**Yangchen:** But you will do something!

 

**Kyoshi:** Okay...you’re not wrong…

 

**Asami:** Stay away from my mother, Kyoshi.

 

**Kyoshi:** I literally just asked you a question. Chill.

 

**Korra:** And she’s just making sure you don’t do anything.

 

**Kyoshi:** Ya’ll really need to chill.

**Kyoshi:** I don’t always chase after ever woman that catches my fancy.

 

**Yangchen:** That is such a horrible lie…

 

**Aang:** Biggest lie ever

 

**Kuruk:** Worst lie

 

**Roku:** Why would you lie?

 

**Kyoshi:** Wow, fuck you guys...

 

**Yasuko:** Hey, Kyoshi. Have sex with me?

 

**Kyoshi:** Sure, girl.

**Kyoshi:** Whenever you’re ready!

 

**Asami:** WHAT THE FUCK MOM?!

**Asami:** YOU’RE MARRIED!

 

**Yasuko:** I haven’t had good sex in so fucking long.

 

**Asami:** SO YOU ASK A FUCKING PERVERT LIKE KYOSHI?!

 

**Yasuko:** Hey, she has big feet. 

**Yasuko:** You know what they say about women with big feet?

 

**Asami:** I swear to spirits…

**Asami:** What about dad?

 

**Yasuko:** You mean your attempted murderer?

 

**Korra:** Spirits…

 

**Kuvira:** Well, she’s not wrong.

 

**Asami:** Besides the fact that he did try and kill me, he’s still your husband and my father.

 

**Yasuko:** Honey, I’ve been dead for so long and at what point do I need to start not giving a flying fuck about Hiroshi?

**Yasuko:** Like he’s great and all but we’re both dead. 

 

**Asami:** AND???

 

**Yasuko:** I’m horny af and your father isn’t really cutting it out for me so I might as well go to someone that has a lot of experience with making women feel good.

**Yasuko:** Aka, Kyoshi.

 

**Asami:** Can someone please kill me so I can fight my mother?

 

**Korra:** NO ONE IS GOING TO KILL ASAMI GUYS!

 

**Mako:** Oh darn…

 

**Korra:** FUCK YOU MAKO!!!

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey, Asami. Your mother consents and I consent so it’s not a huge deal.

 

**Asami:** I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU OF ALL PEOPLE YOU FUCKING BUTT GROPER!!!

 

**Kyoshi:** I tried. *shrugs*

 

**Yasuko:** It’s really not a huge deal. It’s just sex.

 

**Asami:** I AM NOT ALLOWING KYOSHI HAVE SEX WITH YOU MOTHER!!!!

**Asami:** DEAR SPIRITS KYOSHI PLEASE DO NOT SLEEP WITH MY MOTHER!!!

 

**Yasuko:** Give me one good reason why I can’t sleep with Kyoshi.

 

**Asami:** I REFUSE TO LET KYOSHI HAVE A SATISFACTION OF SEEING BOTH MOTHER AND DAUGHTER NAKED!!!

 

**Kyoshi:** You got some nice tits, Asami. ;)

 

**Asami:** STOP 

 

**Korra:** Please stop trying to pry into my mind…

 

**Yasuko:** But Kyoshi didn’t have sex with you physically, she’s only going to have sex with me. 

 

**Asami:** SHE FUCKING INVADES KORRA’S MIND ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT SHE MIGHT AS WELL SAY SHE HAD SEX WITH ME!!

 

**Kyoshi:** Sweet.

 

**Asami:** STFU!!!!

 

**Yasuko:** I think you’re overreacting.

 

**Asami:** I think you need to calm your libido.

 

**Yasuko:** I could say the same for you…

**Yasuko:** But you are my kid so I guess I passed that down to you.

 

**Asami:** That is not how genetics work, mom…

 

**Yasuko:** Why should I care? I’m dead.

 

**Asami:** For fuck’s sake…

**Asami:** I never thought I would be having this conversation in my entire life…

 

**Yasuko:** We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you stop whining like a little privileged bitch.

**Yasuko:** Not everyone can go get their ass banged by the Avatar, sweetie.

**Yasuko:** But I guess not everyone has poor judgement in potential lovers since you dated Mako before Korra...

 

**Mako:** shiiiiiiiiiiittttt

**Mako:** Wait…

**Mako:** Oh come on...

 

**Opal:** DAAAAMN

 

**Kuvira:** Ouch…

 

**Bolin:** OOOOWWWW

 

**Lin:** Harsh…

 

**Kya:** I am living for this!

 

**Toph:** This is gold.

 

**Korra:** STOP

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU GUYS!!!

 

**Kyoshi:** So we going to do this or nah?

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah, we can.

**Yasuko:** Do you have any experience in Daddy kinks?

 

**Kyoshi:** Of course!

**Kyoshi:** Anything you want, I shall deliver.

 

**Asami:** NO!

**Asami:** DEAR SPIRITS STOP PLEASE

**Asami:** FUCKING STOP!!!!

 

**Yasuko:** You can’t stop us.

 

**Asami:** @Hiroshi

**Asami:** DAD PLEASE STOP HER!

 

**Hiroshi:** What’s up?

 

**Asami:** Are you really okay with mom running off to have sex with Kyoshi????

 

**Hiroshi:** Yeah. We talked about it.

**Hiroshi:** What seems to be the problem?

**Hiroshi:** Yasuko, have you not done it with Kyoshi yet?

 

**Yasuko:** No, Asami is being such a possessive daughter..

 

**Asami:** …

**Asami:** someone kill me…

 

**Mako:** Okay.

 

**Korra:** FUCK OFF MAKO!!!

 

**Yasuko:** See, your father is fine with it.

 

**Asami:** Dad why?

 

**Hiroshi:** I can’t stop Yasuko but we still love each other.

**Hiroshi:** And we are dead, so why should we still follow the ‘rules’ of marriage?

**Hiroshi:** So what’s the problem?

 

**Asami:** I want to die.

**Asami:** Someone kill me so I can chase after you two.

 

**Mako:** Sure.

 

**Korra:** NO!!!!

 

**Yangchen:** Kyoshi, don’t ruin this family.

 

**Kyoshi:** She fucking asked, Yangchen. 

**Kyoshi:** We consented.

**Kyoshi:** Leave me alone.

 

**Yangchen:** You’re causing more problems!

 

**Kyoshi:** Hey, that’s their problem. Not mine.

 

**Yasuko:** True.

 

**Hiroshi:** It’s actually just Asami’s problem.

 

**Yasuko:** That is true too.

 

**Asami:** I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO!!

 

**Yasuko:** Love you too~

 

**Hiroshi:** Papa loves you~

 

**Asami:** I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO!!!

 

**Yasuko:** This is starting to feel like a real mother and daughter relationship.

 

**Asami:** I FUCKING WANT YOU TO FUCK YOURSELF!

 

**Yasuko:** Okay, sweetie. 

**Yasuko:** Why don’t you fuck your ego and come back and tell me that I was right about you being a whiny little shit?

 

**Mako:** Oh shiiiiiittt

 

**Opal:** I am dying oms

 

**Kuvira:** Suddenly Suyin’s hate against me doesn’t seem so bad.

 

**Lin:** Spirits…

 

**Kya:** I am living for this.

 

**Bolin:** LMFAO

 

**Korra:** FUCK YOU GUYS!

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU GUYS! GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!!

 

**Opal:** Asami hasn’t been this angry since the Sasuke incident

 

**Asami:** DON’T FUCKING BRING THAT UP BITCH!!!!

 

**Kyoshi:** You know...I always connected with Jiraiya. 

 

**Asami:** WOW NO SHIT 

**Asami:** I WONDER WHY!????

 

**Yasuko:** Bc she’s a pervert.

 

**Asami:** I KNOW THAT MOM FUCK YOU!!!

 

**Yasuko:** Love you!

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU!

 

**Hiroshi:** Have fun, sweetie~

 

**Yasuko:** I will~

 

**Asami:** I FUCKING HATE YOU TWO SO MUCH YOU TWO ARE THE WORST FUCKING PARENTS EVER FOR FUCK SAKE I HATE YOU SO SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!

 

**Opal:** Sasuke.

 

**Asami:** OPAL I WILL MURDER YOU NEXT!!!!!

 

**Opal:** Yes, mommy.

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU!!!!

 

**Kuvira:** Whatever you say, mommy.

 

**Asami:** I WILL POUND YOUR SKULL IN!!!

 

**Bolin:** Pound me harder mommy.

 

**Asami:** BOLIN STFU OR I WILL RIP YOU A NEW HOLE!!!

 

**Mako:** Kinky, mommy.

 

**Asami:** I WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU MAKO!!!!!

 

**Korra:** Please do.

 

**Opal:** I agree.

 

**Kuvira:** Do it.

 

**Bolin:** Go ahead.

 

**Mako:** Wow, you guys…

 

**Lin:** You all need to get therapy…

 

**Kya:** I AM DYING AT THIS CHAT HAHAHAHA

 

**Toph:** Lin, you should be grateful we aren’t like that.

 

**Lin:** I actually am…

 

XXX

 

**Kyoshi:** Asami’s mom has got it going on~~

 

**Asami:** FUCK YOU!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys wanted this. YOU. Just to be clear...
> 
> Anyways, sorry I haven’t been updating this as much as I want to. School has been getting heavier with the workload and it continues as I hit the end of the semester so once I end the semester, I will start focusing more on this chat fic. Until then, I will try to squeeze out more chapters! Thanks for understanding!
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


	47. Chaos

**Bolin added everyone from ‘Contacts’ to group chat “3.0”**

 

 **Bolin:** Oh shit.

 

 **Korra:** What the fuck did you do?

 

 **Bolin:** I don’t know! I pressed the wrong button….

 

 **Ginger:** Oh @Asami! How are yah sugar?? I’ve missed you!

 

 **Asami:**...

 **Asami:** Kill me.

 

 **Ginger:** Aw, don’t be like that!

 

 **Asami:** Someone please kill me.

 

 **Kyoshi:** Yeah, join me!

 

 **Asami:** Can someone just lock me up forever and throw away the key?

 

 **Ginger:** Aw, don’t be like that!

 

 **Zaheer:** As someone who has been locked up for a long time, it’s actually quite nice.

 

 **Korra:** Holy fucking spirits…

 **Korra:** You have a phone???

 

 **Mako:** I’m sorry...what’s the point of holding people prisoners if they get to have anything they want?

 

 **Kuvira:** Our government system sucks ass.

 **Kuvira:** Literally…

 **Kuvira:** Hence why I tried to do something in the first place.

 

 **Opal:** This might get awkward…

 

 **Asami:** I’M SORRY BUT NONE OF YOU GUYS ARE CONCERN THAT BOLIN HAD ZAHEER’S NUMBER?

 

 **Bolin:** I don’t even know how I got his number…

 

 **Zaheer:** I am also curious about that.

 

 **Suyin:** Well shit

 

 **Kuvira:** Oh fuck...

 

 **Suyin:** Hello you fucking ingrate.

 

 **Kuvira:** Rude

 

 **Opal:** Here we go again…

 

 **Wu:** OMS FINALLYYYYYY

 

 **Asami:** Uggh this is even worse…

 **Asami:** Much worse than when my mom slept with Kyoshi.

 

 **Yasuko:** It was great btw

 

 **Kyoshi:** ;)

 

 **Asami:** I can’t fucking die nor can I fucking live….

 

 **Korra:** Spirits...Bolin what the fuck did you do?

 

 **Bolin:** I don’t know! I must have accidentally pressed something.

 

 **Varrick:** HELLO EVERYONE!!!

 

 **Asami:** Fuck

 

 **Zhu Li:** Well, hello there.

 

 **Asami:** Oh you’re fine.

 

 **Zhu Li:** Yay?

 

 **Mako:** This chat is going to be the death of us all…

 

 **Meelo:** HIIIII

 

 **Asami:** ….great….

 

 **Ikki:** Well, it’s about time we got added to the chat!

 

 **Korra:** Oh spirits…

 

 **Jinora:** …

 **Jinora:** This is a great way to lower my IQ.

 

 **Asami:** WOW OKAY

 

 **Opal:** WE AREN’T DUMB!!

 

 **Kuvira:** We are pretty smart.

 

 **Jinora:** I literally just saw you guys trying to open one jar and failing at it.

 

 **Mako:** The jar was tight.

 

 **Wu:** Like my asshole after we finish.

 

 **Mako:** …

 

 **Asami:** kahdsflkahlghakdsfghadsh

 

 **Opal:** ….I really didn’t need to know that….

 

 **Meelo:** Ew, gross…

 

 **Jinora:** Oh

 **Jinora:** There goes my IQ

 

 **Bolin:** RUDE we aren’t as dumb as Mako.

 

 **Jinora:** Okay, I’ll give you that.

 

 **Mako:** WOW

 **Mako:** I AM A DETECTIVE! I’M SMART!

 

 **Jinora:** This is coming from the guy that couldn’t choose between Korra and Asami and ended up playing around with both, then they got together and he’s stuck with the dumbass prince that barely knows the difference between left and right.

 

 **Mako:** …

 

 **Wu:** I do know the difference between left and right!!!

 **Wu:** Right ← → Left

 

 **Asami:** Wrong.

 

 **Wu:** DAMN IT

 

 **Asami:** I like Jinora to stay.

 

 **Jinora:** No thanks, I’m good.

 

**Asami secured Jinora to group chat “3.0”**

 

 **Jinora:** ...alright then…

 

 **Asami:** The rest of you guys can leave.

 

 **Ginger:** BUT I MISS YOU!

 

 **Asami:** DON’T YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW?

 

 **Ginger:** We broke up

 **Ginger:** She’s not you~

 

 **Korra:** She’s taken.

 

 **Ginger:** I’m down for a threesome.

 

 **Asami:** THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

 

 **Ginger:** So?

 

 **Meelo:** Threesomes are when three people have sex.

 

 **Asami:** WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT??

 

 **Meelo:** Bolin.

 

 **Opal:** Bolin, really?

 

 **Bolin:** He asked and I gave him an answer.

 

 **Mako:** Spirits…

 

 **Zaheer:** Put it this way: perhaps by educating him at a young age, Meelo will be able to embrace his sexuality and understand consent. That way he will be a more matured young adult when he comes to his prime.

 

 **Meelo:** vaginaboob

 

 **Zaheer:** Nevermind.

 

 **Ikki:** Don’t worry. I don’t care about adult stuff anyways.

 

 **Asami:** Thank spirits…

 

 **Ikki:** I really like gory stuff and reading about torture methods.

 

 **Jinora:** Ikki may or may not be mentally disturbed.

 

 **Korra:** I miss when they were innocent kids…

 

 **Opal:** I miss when they weren’t in the chat…

 

 **Asami:** And I’m going to kick them out.

 

**Varrick secured everyone to group chat “3.0”**

 

 **Asami:**...

 **Asami:** All of a sudden, hanging out with Kyoshi doesn’t sound too bad…

 

 **Kyoshi:** YESSSSS

 

 **Korra:** NOOO

 

 **Suyin:** YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME KUVIRA!

 

 **Kuvira:** Fuck off already…

 

 **Asami:** And we already failed as good role models…

 

 **Opal:** You can’t fail to be a good role model if we never claimed to be good role models.

 

 **Asami:** Wise words.

 

 **Mako:** Well, shit fizzle, I guess we’re stuck in this chat.

 

 **Bolin:** Shit fizzles?

 

 **Wu:** Shit fizzles.

 

 **Bolin:** Okay then…

 

 **Kai:** AWESOME! A GROUP CHAT WITH YOU GUYS!

 

 **Jinora:** Yay…

 

 **Bolin:** AY LITTLE BRO!

 

 **Kai:** BIG BRO!

 

 **Mako:** LITTLE BRO!

 

 **Kai:** asshole

 

 **Mako:**...

 

 **Kuvira:** Haha, lol.

 

 **Varrick:** Now isn’t this nice?

 

 **Asami:** Why are you like this?

 

 **Varrick:** Why are you such a party pooper?

 

 **Asami:** Why are you such a two-timing bastard?

 

 **Zhu Li:** Why are you such a privilege little bitch?

 

 **Asami:** …

 

 **Yasuko:** THANK YOU!!!

 

 **Asami:** Zhu Li, you’re better than this…

 

 **Zhu Li:** You could have, oh I don’t know, maybe not have tried to break my husband’s hand.

 

 **Asami:** THAT WAS AGES AGO!!!

 

 **Zhu Li:** We hold grudges.

 

 **Asami:** Oh my spirits…

 

 **P’Li:** …

 **P’Li:** Are these really the people that defeated the Red Lotus?

 

 **Suyin:** Aren’t you suppose to be dead?

 

 **P’Li:** Yes, you fucking piece of shit, I am dead.

 **P’Li:** You and your ugly ass sister blew my fucking head off in front of my boyfriend.

 

 **Zaheer:** YAS GIRL YAS!

 **Zaheer:** I mean…

 **Zaheer:** P’Li, relax. It’s in the past.

 

 **Asami:** …

 

 **Korra:** …

 

 **Mako:** …

 

 **Bolin:**...

 

 **Opal:** …

 

 **Kuvira:** …

 

 **Suyin:** So you’re saying Lin is the uglier sister?

 

 **P’Li:** Yeah.

 

 **Kya:** NOW HOLD UP JUST A FUCKING MINUTE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!!

 **Kya:** LIN WILL WHUP YOUR ASS ANY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK!

 

 **Toph:** YEAH! MY DAUGHTER ISN’T UGLY! SHE’S DECENT!!

 

 **Kya:** DECENT?????? THAT’S ALL????

 

 **Toph:** Look, Kanto wasn’t really an attractive guy okay?

 

 **Kya:** kdjlskflhlkfhgkljhcfkghdklfjl

 

 **Suyin:** HA, TAKE THAT!

 

 **Opal:** Great, family drama.

 

 **Bataar Jr:** KUVIIIIIIRRRRRAAAAAAA!!!

 

 **Kuvira:** Fuck.

 

 **Bataar Jr:** I FUCKING HATE YOU!

 

 **Suyin:** ME TOO!!!

 

 **Kuvira:** @VARRICK I WILL ACTUALLY MURDER YOU THIS TIME!

 

 **Varrick:** LMFAO!!!!

 

 **Kya:** TOPH YOU’RE FUCKING BLIND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DETERMINE THAT KANTO ISN’T THAT ATTRACTIVE!

 

 **Toph:** ECHO FUCKING LOCATION!

 

 **Kya:** FUCKING BULLSHIT!

 

 **Ginger:** @Asami, I’m totally down for a poly relationship.

 

 **Asami:** LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND GO MAKEOUT WITH BOLIN!

 

 **Wing and Wei:** OH HELL NO WE WERE ABOUT TO ASK HIM OUT!!!

 

 **Mako:** WHY THE FUCK DO YOU SHARE A FUCKING PHONE!????

 

 **Bolin:**???

 

 **Desna and Eska:** Um, please do not touch our turtle dove…

 

 **Korra:** BOLIN WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE PEOPLE’S NUMBERS????????!!!!

 

 **Bolin:** I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON??!?!?!?!

 

 **Opal:** What is with twins and them sharing their phones?

 

 **Wing and Wei:** Why is our sister dating an ex-criminal, huh?

 

 **Kuvira:** Okay, that was resolved a long time ago…

 

 **Suyin:** NO IT HASN’T KUVIRA!

 

 **Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!!!

 

 **Meelo:** YEAH FUCK YOU

 

 **Kuvira:** Oh my spirits…

 

 **Wing and Wei:** Our sister is a little hoe.

 

 **Opal:** FUCK YOU! YOU CAN’T DECIDE WHO I DATE!!!

 

 **Wing and Wei:** You use to be so innocent…

 

 **Opal:** You can’t claim that I was innocent if I never claimed that I was innocent.

 

 **Huan:** You thought babies came from storks for the longest time…

 

 **Opal:** YOU FUCKING TOLD ME THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE ASSHOLE!!!!

 

 **Huan:** You believed everything.

 **Huan:** You thought kissing could get you pregnant.

 

 **Wing and Wei:** BRO WE REMEMBER THAT! OPAL GOT SO SCARED WHEN SHE ACCIDENTALLY KISSED A BOY!

 

 **Opal:** WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS HAVE TO BE IN THIS CHAT!!!

 

 **Wing and Wei:** Why the fuck do you have to be an airbender?

 

 **Opal:** I WAS BORN LIKE THIS!

 

 **Wing and Wei:** Maybe don’t be born like that?

 

 **Opal:** kjdshaflhldghlgkhfkgj

 

 **Asami:** This chat is ruin.

 

 **Ginger:** But you’re here~

 

 **Asami:** Please fuck off.

 

 **Korra:** I will fucking choke you, Ginger…

 

 **Ginger:** Choke me harder mommy~

 

 **Asami:** NO ONE CALLS KORRA THAT EXCEPT ME!!!!

 

 **Ginger:** Choke me harder, daddy~

 

 **Asami:** THAT TOO!!!

 

 **Ginger:** Master!

 

 **Asami:** kajshdghkdfjshklhgklsfhglksj

 

 **Korra:** Oh spirits….

 

 **Mako:** This chat is a mess…

 

 **Zaheer:** I think chaos is what this chat needs.

 

 **Bolin:** Look where chaos got you…

 

 **P’Li:** HEY! FUCK OFF ON MY MAN! YOU FUCKING TURDS CAN’T SEE THE WAY HE DOES YOU, BLIND LITTLE INGRATES!

 

 **Zaheer:** YAS GIRL

 **Zaheer:** I mean…

 **Zaheer:** Thank you for defending me, my dear.

 

 **P’Li:** Of course, darling~ anything for you!

 **P’Li:** Even if I’m dead, I will always look after you.

 

 **Zaheer:** My heart still breaks over your death, P’Li. I wish for you to move on, but if that is what you desire to do, then I shall accept it.

 

 **Opal:** Ew, straight pple.

 

 **Varrick:** WHAT’S WRONG WITH STRAIGHT PPLE??

 

 **Asami:** You’re a prime example…

 

 **Varrick:** AND YOU’RE A LITTLE PRIVILEGE DADDY’S GIRL!

 

 **Asami:** At least I’m not a two-timing traitor.

 

 **Varrick:** At least I’m not a bottom femme.

 

 **Asami:** Nothing wrong with being a bottom femme.

 

 **Ginger:** Nothing wrong indeed~

 

 **Asami:** Okay, I found one problem…

 

 **Korra:** Varrick this is all your fault.

 

 **Varrick:** Bolin is the one that accidentally added everyone into the chat!!!

 

 **Mako:** And you secured everyone to the chat!

 

 **Asami:** Which is confusing bc I thought I was the admin!

 

 **Kuvira:** It could be worse.

 

 **Bumi:** Ni hao kids desu ka! What’s coolio my dudes and dudettes??

 

 **Lin:**...

 **Lin:** What the fuck happened to this chat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, what's up guys? Sorry for not updating this chat fic in a long time. Honestly, it was because I literally had no ideas for this chat and I lost a lot of motivation to keep it up. Instead, I put it on hiatus until I got ideas flowing. Now I'm back and hopefully, I'll be able to keep it up this year. If I ever just not update this chat fic for a while, it means I'm busy with school or going through a dry spell. I'm always down for suggestions because that would actually help me a lot. :) Again, sorry for putting this chat on a break and I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> -Kokoro


	48. Family Drama

**Tonraq:** So...how do group chats work?

 

**Korra:** @Bolin, why did you have my dad’s number??

 

**Bolin:** I asked him.

 

**Senna:** He did.

 

**Korra:** WHY DID YOU HAVE MY PARENT’S NUMBERS?

 

**Bolin:** *shrugs*

**Bolin:** I have a lot of people in my contacts.

 

**Opal:** And now you’ve doomed them into this chat…

 

**Mako:** And Varrick secured them into this chat.

 

**Kuvira:** Who else does Bolin have in his contacts?

 

**Izumi:** Me.

 

**Korra:** Who the fuck are you again?

 

**Izumi:** The Fire Lord…

 

**Zuko:** How did Bolin get my daughter’s number?

 

**Izumi:** He asked.

 

**Bolin:** We’re snap buddies!

 

**Izumi:** On our 199-day streak.

 

**Korra:** What the actual fuck?

 

**Iroh II:** What the actual fuck indeed…

 

**Izumi:** Watch your language, mister!

 

**Iroh II:** Mother, I’m an adult…

 

**Zuko:** You’re not an adult until you had half of your face burned off by your own father and lived.

 

**Iroh II:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Bumi:** HEY! What’s cooking good lookin chaps?

 

**Kya:** Shut the fuck up.

 

**Bumi:** Fuck you, old lady 

 

**Kya:** Fuck yourself, old man.

 

**Bumi:** This is literally why Dad didn’t choose you as his favorite child because you’re such a little shit.

 

**Kya:** You were literally named after some crazy old Earth king in Dad’s time, shut the fuck up.

 

**Aang:** My precious children, you’re both pretty now stop fighting.

 

**Kya:** Wow, this is the most attention he has given us since Tenzin was born.

 

**Aang:** ...You know that’s not true…

 

**Bumi:** You forgot five of my birthdays when I was a kid.

**Bumi:** FIVE.

 

**Aang:** I made it up to you.

 

**Kya:** Yeah, by throwing Tenzin a party instead.

 

**Tenzin:** Not my fault that I was born as an Air Bender.

 

**Kya:** Not our fault that you inherited Dad’s baldness.

 

**Tenzin:**  Now hold up just a minute!

**Tenzin:** ...since when was I in this chat?

 

**Meelo:** Hi, dad!

 

**Ikki:** We’re here too!

 

**Tenzin:** Oh no.

 

**Kya:** lmfao

 

**Korra:** Is this ‘family drama’ day?

 

**Tonraq:** Speaking of family…

**Tonraq:** When are you and Asami going to give us grandchildren?

 

**Asami:** I’m sorry what?

**Asami:** I just woke up.

 

**Senna:** That’s okay, sweetie.

**Senna:** We’re just wondering when you and Korra will give us grandbabies.

 

**Korra:** Mom...we’re not even married.

 

**Tonraq:** That doesn’t really make a difference.

**Tonraq:** Marriage or not, do we get grandbabies or not?

 

**Asami:** We’re not even 25 yet…

 

**Senna:** And?

 

**Korra:** Aren’t we a bit too young to be mothers?

 

**Tonraq:** Aren’t you a bit too old to be running around with Kuvira and causing nothing but trouble?

 

**Kuvira:** Can I not be dragged into another family drama?

**Kuvira:** I’m already with Suyin and Butttar Jackass’ bullshit.

 

**Bataar Jr:** IT’S BATAAR JUNIOR!!

 

**Kuvira:** I don’t fucking care.

 

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU!

 

**Korra:** For the record, I don’t run around with Kuvira to cause trouble.

 

**Lin:** HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT’S FUNNY KORRA!

 

**Korra:** Fuck off!

 

**Senna:** Language!

 

**Korra:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Asami:** What is this chat anymore?

**Asami:** It’s just family problems wrapped up in one…

 

**Yasuko:** Yeah, it sucks having a daughter that fucking forgets that Hiroshi and I were fucking murdered. @Kuvira @thoseassholesthatrobbedtheSatoestate

 

**Kuvira:** I said I was sorry!

 

**Hiroshi:** Are you?

 

**Kuvira:** OH MY SPIRITS LEAVE ME ALONE!

 

**Bataar Jr:** UH I THINK THE FUCK NOT BITCH!

 

**Kuvira:** WHY DID I EVER HAVE FEELINGS FOR A FUCKING SENSITIVE LITTLE BITCH LIKE YOU???

 

**Bolin:** Because you were desperate for followers and he was your number one fan.

 

**Kuvira:** Fuck you, Bolin.

 

**Wing and Wei:** Okay.

 

**Desna and Eska:** No, wtf?

 

**Opal:** Spirits…

 

**Suyin:** Why are you even interested in someone like Kuvira?

 

**Opal:** How much of a fucked up parent do you have to be that your ‘adopted’ daughter and your eldest son ran off to unite the Earth Kingdom and turned against the Beifong family yet you still think you are a decent mother?

 

**Suyin:** …

 

**Toph:** Holy shit…

**Toph:** I love my granddaughter.

 

**Suyin:** You weren’t exactly a great mother yourself!

 

**Toph:** Unlike you, I accept that.

 

**Bataar Jr:** BECAUSE KUVIRA IS ACTUALLY FUCKING CRAZY AND SHE’S A FUCKING TRAITOR AND SCARY AND FUCKING DUMB AND STOOPID!

 

**Kuvira:** …

**Kuvira:** I guess I’m ‘dumb and stoopid’. 

 

**Opal:** There is no way you can defend Bataar now, mom…

 

**Suyin:** Shut up…

 

**Mako:** LMFAO

**Mako:** I love what is going on in this chat!

 

**Asami:** Yeah, because no one cares about you.

 

**Wu:** I DO!

 

**Korra:** Who cares about you?

 

**Wu:** Mako’s grandmother!

 

**Bolin:** Poor woman…

 

**Wu:** RUDE!!!

**Wu:** AT LEAST I’M NOT AS DRAMATIC AS KUVIRA!!!

**Wu:** SHE WENT UP ON STAGE AND MADE SUCH A BIG DEAL BY CRUSHING THE KYOSHI MEDAL OF FREEDOM!

 

**Kyoshi:** What the fuck is that?

**Kyoshi:** What a lame title for a medal…

**Kyoshi:** I would crush it too if I was given it.

 

**Kuvira:** I know, right?

 

**Wu:** Wow…

 

**Mako:** tbh, tho, Kuvira is pretty dramatic.

 

**Opal:** Says the tiny dick twink that had a fucking meltdown over two women he used and had a moody bitch fit. 

 

**Mako:** YOU WEREN’T EVEN AROUND WHEN THAT HAPPENED!!!

 

**Opal:** Everyone says that tho.

 

**Bolin:** We do.

 

**Asami:** That is true.

 

**Korra:** Ditto

 

**Kuvira:** Hahah, lol.

 

**Lin:** When is Mako not being dramatic?

 

**Kya:** When is he not the butt of a joke?

 

**Toph:** When is he going to admit that he’s a bottom?

 

**Mako:** I AM NOT A BOTTOM!

 

**Korra:** Yeah, right...and I’m not the Avatar.

 

**Tonraq:** And I have no grandkids.

 

**Korra:** Dad….

**Korra:** Can we have this conversation in private?

 

**Senna:** You and Asami would have sex in the park but you won’t answer whether or not you are going to give us grandkids?

 

**Asami:** Those are two very separate issues…

 

**Korra:** Wait...how did you know that?????

 

**Senna:** Lin ranted to us.

 

**Lin:** Sup.

 

**Korra:** Oh my spirits…

 

**Lin:** I should be saying that, you fucking idiot.

 

**Korra:** This idiot saved the fucking world.

 

**Lin:** Yeah, you were sad for three years and came back to try and avoid everyone.

**Lin:** You could have saved us a lot of time if you just met up with us…

 

**Korra:** Maybe you should have been a better sister to Suyin sooner and maybe actually get things done without my help.

 

**Bataar Jr:** Maybe you should have just stayed out of people’s business.

 

**Korra:** HEY REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULDN’T LET YOU GO BACK TO KUVIRA AND I SWORE TO KEEP YOU TWO SEPARATED???

**Korra:** “nO i CaN’t LiVe WiThOuT kUvIrA!”- Buttass Jerkoff 174 AG

 

**Asami:** ksdglsdhf;gkhksdfhgkldshgklfj

 

**Bolin:** kjasdhfklasgklsjhlhlkghlk

 

**Mako:** LMFAO

 

**Kya:** HAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

**Lin:** oms…

 

**Opal:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Opal:** “oH nO sHe WoULd NeVeR HuRt Me!”

 

**Korra:** LMFAO!!!!

 

**Kuvira:** Desperate much, Buttcheek Jeanyah?

 

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU!

 

**Kuvira:** I mean, you did…

**Kuvira:** Soooo…

 

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

**Bataar Jr:** FUCK YOU KUVIRA!

 

**Kuvira:** And they say I’m the crazy one.

 

**Opal:** Crazy in bed.

**Opal:** ;)

 

**Kuvira:** ;)

 

**Suyin:** Spirits…

 

**Jinora:** …

**Jinora:** You guys are all insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bootyatar Joonoir has some anger issues...
> 
> :))))

**Author's Note:**

> ....k bye.....
> 
> Tumblr @kokoro—nerd


End file.
